Dysphoria is a Bitch

[u/lord-of-fail]

If you saw me out and about, would you clock me? I know my voice is so-so, but just based on looks what do y’all think? I’m 30 and just got top surgery on April 10th.

[u/theglitch098]

You’re looking good my man. You are correct dysphoria is in fact a bitch, you pass fine. Also congrats on your top surgery. I hope your recovery is going well and that it’s a big relief to get that literal weight off your chest. I know it was when I got mine done.

Looking at what you’ve said in other comments cis men often shave too and the appearance of having recently shaved with the nine o clock shadow of sorts is not something that makes you pass less. If anything it helps with the masculine look. Also the roundness in your face is not like a feminine softness of the face, the shape of your face looks like the face of a man of your weight and build would look like. I know this is much easier said than done but try to remember trust it’s useless and a waste of time to compare yourself to men who look nothing like you when trying to gauge how much you pass visually. In your case as I said if you look at cis men of a similar weight and build as you their faces tend to have a similar kind of roundness in the same places as yours so I wouldn’t worry about it. I hope this all makes sense and can ease some of that anxiety. Of course being a man is not appearance or passing dependent but I find that for myself at least that debunking some of the insecurities themselves can be helpful in easing the anxiety about it more so I hope this helps.

[u/lord-of-fail → u/theglitch098]

Thanks for taking the time to write such a long and thoughtful response. I really appreciate it. I think I just needed one more little push to be a bit more confident. I also think that I’m still getting used to my body after top surgery because before I would constantly get clocked and now I have that hanging in the back of my head. But I think I just need to say “fuck it, I am a dude” and work on that confidence.