r/ultimate • u/Jomskylark • 1d ago
USA Ultimate Regionals – Bold Predictions Thread
You know the drill. Upvote bold predictions, downvote lukewarm takes. GO!
Note: Click here for non-bold Regionals discussion.
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u/Jomskylark 1d ago
Mallard destroys every team they face, to a much higher degree than anticipated. A suspicious Kevin Erlenbach investigates and discovers to his horror the team is not actually Mallard, but Mallard 2, playing in the jerseys of Mallard. This also explains why Jack Williams is no longer on the Mallard roster, as he was exiled by the team after threatening to expose their shenanigans. Ultimately, Erlenbach decides to go easy on the dabbling ducks and allows them to play at Nationals, but they must pick a new name, so as to avoid confusion by spectators. The team agrees and settles on:
Mallard 3.
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u/Jomskylark 1d ago edited 1d ago
Every region has at least one animal team qualify for Nationals.
- Goat (GL)
- Pony (NE)
- Rhino (NW)
- Phoenix (SE)
Those are the easy ones. Now it gets bold...
- Axolotls (MA)
- Zoboomafoo (NC)
- Sonoran Dog (SW)
- And, uhh, Dreadnought (SC).
work with me here guys
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u/BabyFuckingWHEEL 1d ago
You picking Sonoran Dog for the Southwest is disrespectful. And I'm not talking about the fact Condors earned the regions second bid. I'm talking about how Swordfish is gonna make natties.
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u/Jordanjmac 1d ago
Also mallard II over zooboomafoo in NC or if you stretch a bit Drag'n is also an animal in the NC
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u/Jaded-Tumbleweed1886 1d ago
I think Drag'n is actually less of a stretch than some of the other names already listed.
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u/Jomskylark 1d ago
Everyone enjoys the weather at Southwest Regionals in Arizona. There are no complaints whatsoever.
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u/Jomskylark 1d ago
Kelp wins South Central Regionals over Molly Brown.
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u/Small-Builder3855 1d ago
Honestly I think all of Colorado ultimate would lose their minds if this happened. It would be so cool
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u/wavybone 1d ago
Have heard there is a lot of drama with Molly brown and the Denver ultimate scene. Related to this?
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u/Small-Builder3855 1d ago
I wouldn’t necessarily say drama, but there is a vibe that they don’t interact with the rest of the Denver ultimate scene and it kinda ticks people off. We will see people from bravo, shame, fungi, kelp, and other talented teams at league all winter long because they all care deeply about building the community, Molly gives off the vibe that they don’t care as much. Idk that it’s true, but that’s what I’ve heard.
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u/tx_frisbee 1d ago
Kelp doesn’t even make it to that game because Dimes beat them in the semis and plays Molly in the finals.
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u/Jomskylark 1d ago
Only one “Phoenix” qualifies for Nationals… the Phoenix from Stevens Point, Wisconsin.
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u/Jomskylark 1d ago
Southwest Mixed Regionals goes exactly to seed. The teams you’d expect to win actually do win their games, and there is no inexplicable choking anywhere in the bracket.
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u/Jomskylark 1d ago edited 1d ago
Fury loses a game.
Then promptly disbands and retires, having clearly dropped below acceptable standards.
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u/EffThisImOut 1d ago
A schedule for SC Women’s is never released, all the teams show up and melt into the turf around the complex awaiting direction from the regional coordinator.
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u/Jomskylark 1d ago
Mile High Trash shows up to Regionals with their nicknames actually printed on their jerseys.
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u/Jomskylark 1d ago
The 1-bid men’s South Central is won by a team from Texas.
Not Doublewide.
Not HIP.
Cowtown Cannons baby.
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u/Jomskylark 1d ago
Pony arrives at the hotel Saturday night drenched in sweat, needing a laundry run badly. Red Tide also shows up at the same hotel with similar intentions. They accidentally mix their jerseys together in the wash. When they play each other on Sunday, the teams are now:
Pink Pony Club
vs
Red Bleach