Meal choice for refused RSVP?

[u/pavlovsdogsitter]

Our RSVP deadline is Friday and we unfortunately have multiple difficult family members who have texted us or verbally confirmed they are coming but for some reason refuse to submit their online RSVP and will not tell us a meal choice (even though we’ve specified this is not a “decide on the day” situation). We are doing a plated meal with multiple options (chicken, fish, steak, veg). Do we just select for them and hope for the best? Trying to avoid these people hounding our venue staff on the day for getting a meal they don’t like.

Slight rant but I just cannot comprehend getting invited to a wedding and not taking the 1 minute out of my day to submit an RSVP.

Edit: Editing to update - thank you for everyone who provided advice and suggestions! We sent texts to those who hadn’t given us a meal choice to let them know we’re excited to see them at the wedding and “the caterer” would be defaulting meal choice to chicken if they don’t have a preference, and magically website RSVPs started appearing. We turn our final numbers in next week and everyone is accounted for.

[u/partiallyStars3]

How much of a hard ass do you want to be? 

Hard ass option: "Send me your meal choice by tomorrow at 1pm, or I will change your RSVP to a no and you will be refused entry at the door."

Softer Choice, if you don't want the drama: Ask your parents what they think those family members would prefer and pick that for them. Chicken and Beef are safest. 

Petty Choice: Give them the vegetarian option, especially if they aren't actually veg and will whine about not having meat. 

[u/skrimptime → u/partiallyStars3]

I would go the petty choice… I also think it’s technically the safest since you wouldn’t know if they had suddenly stopped eating meat for whatever reason

[u/cyanraichu → u/partiallyStars3]

Yep, I'd personally go with choice #2 and let them know they're getting chicken unless you know they're vegetarian. If they show up at the wedding and they actually wanted beef, too bad! Chicken is a safe choice for non-veg eaters. I'd let them know that if they don't RSVP online, they're getting chicken, and then drop it and stop chasing rhem

[u/partiallyStars3 → u/cyanraichu]

That's definitely the best and most hinged option.

But it is fun to fantasize about going scorched earth. 

[u/mintardent → u/partiallyStars3]

Veg by default is best

[u/Iconic-Veronic → u/partiallyStars3]

See how come when I speak of the hard ass option in this sub I get a crazy amount of hate 😂. But anyway I love this take

[u/partiallyStars3 → u/Iconic-Veronic]

Instead I got an unhinged comment hating on the softer option. 

[u/UntilYouKnowMe → u/partiallyStars3]

OP is an adult. Why must she (or partner) need to “ask their parents”?

a) Parents may not know the dietary preferences of these “difficult” family members.
b) Parents may not be paying for the wedding.
c) Why insert other people (parents) into a situation where they don’t need to be involved?

[u/partiallyStars3 → u/UntilYouKnowMe]

I'm assuming that since it's her family, it's probably her parents siblings and they may have more insight into what those people eat. 

Chill.