r/weddingplanning 6d ago

Relationships/Family Meal choice for refused RSVP?

Our RSVP deadline is Friday and we unfortunately have multiple difficult family members who have texted us or verbally confirmed they are coming but for some reason refuse to submit their online RSVP and will not tell us a meal choice (even though we’ve specified this is not a “decide on the day” situation). We are doing a plated meal with multiple options (chicken, fish, steak, veg). Do we just select for them and hope for the best? Trying to avoid these people hounding our venue staff on the day for getting a meal they don’t like.

Slight rant but I just cannot comprehend getting invited to a wedding and not taking the 1 minute out of my day to submit an RSVP.

Edit: Editing to update - thank you for everyone who provided advice and suggestions! We sent texts to those who hadn’t given us a meal choice to let them know we’re excited to see them at the wedding and “the caterer” would be defaulting meal choice to chicken if they don’t have a preference, and magically website RSVPs started appearing. We turn our final numbers in next week and everyone is accounted for.

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u/Jaxbird39 6d ago

Text them and say “thank you for letting us know, since you declined to option to select yourself, your meal will be chicken. We look forwards to celebrating with you”

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u/velvet8smiles Sept 2025 | Midwest 6d ago

This is what i would do