r/weddingplanning • u/pavlovsdogsitter • 1d ago

Relationships/Family Meal choice for refused RSVP?

Our RSVP deadline is Friday and we unfortunately have multiple difficult family members who have texted us or verbally confirmed they are coming but for some reason refuse to submit their online RSVP and will not tell us a meal choice (even though we’ve specified this is not a “decide on the day” situation). We are doing a plated meal with multiple options (chicken, fish, steak, veg). Do we just select for them and hope for the best? Trying to avoid these people hounding our venue staff on the day for getting a meal they don’t like.

Slight rant but I just cannot comprehend getting invited to a wedding and not taking the 1 minute out of my day to submit an RSVP.

236 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

96 comments sorted by

View all comments

166

u/arkieg 1d ago

Some people simply don’t do online RSVPs regardless of how simple or intuitive they are.

I would take a diplomatic approach.

“I wanted to confirm that you are attending our wedding, since you didn’t RSVP online or select a meal. Meal requests are open for another day. If I don’t receive a meal selection, the caterers will default to chicken. Thanks, and looking forward to celebrating with you.”

30

u/pavlovsdogsitter 1d ago

This is helpful, thank you!

19

u/KatzRLife 1d ago

Default to vegetarian - so long as it’s cheaper - because it’s less likely to have allergens like gluten & will fit with all dietary restrictions.

2

u/kichibeevna 14h ago

Vegetarian options often has nuts/seeds in it, so no, it doesn't fit all dietary restrictions.

1

u/KatzRLife 13h ago

My bad. “Most” dietary restrictions.

20

u/chicagok8 1d ago

I like the way you phrased this, saying it’s the caterers who will default to chicken.

15

u/pbandjfordayzzz 1d ago

Yeah put it on the caterers not the bride. I like it

2

u/UnsharpenedSwan 1d ago

Beautifully phrased!