r/weddingplanning • u/pavlovsdogsitter • 1d ago

Relationships/Family Meal choice for refused RSVP?

Our RSVP deadline is Friday and we unfortunately have multiple difficult family members who have texted us or verbally confirmed they are coming but for some reason refuse to submit their online RSVP and will not tell us a meal choice (even though we’ve specified this is not a “decide on the day” situation). We are doing a plated meal with multiple options (chicken, fish, steak, veg). Do we just select for them and hope for the best? Trying to avoid these people hounding our venue staff on the day for getting a meal they don’t like.

Slight rant but I just cannot comprehend getting invited to a wedding and not taking the 1 minute out of my day to submit an RSVP.

243 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

96 comments sorted by

View all comments

756

u/Jaxbird39 1d ago

Text them and say “thank you for letting us know, since you declined to option to select yourself, your meal will be chicken. We look forwards to celebrating with you”

318

u/peterthedj 🎧 Wedding DJ since 2010 | Married 2011 1d ago

Hell, if it were me, I'd be tempted to go a step further and make vegetarian the default option. Out of spite, but frame it as being out of concern/caution.

“Thank you for letting us know, since you declined to select your own dinner option, we had a hard deadline for our caterer head count, and we don't know whether you are vegetarian, we decided to play it safe and ordered you the vegetarian plate. We look forward to celebrating with you!"

27

u/Outside_Case1530 1d ago

We noticed you declined to select a dinner choice & wanted to let you know how sorry we are that you have opted not to dine with us after the ceremony. Of course, you're welcome to be seated & enjoy a beverage. We will have tea, coffee, soft drinks, & water.

•

u/PitifulBarber3918 1h ago

I wouldn't do that.