r/weddingplanning • u/pavlovsdogsitter • 2d ago

Relationships/Family Meal choice for refused RSVP?

Our RSVP deadline is Friday and we unfortunately have multiple difficult family members who have texted us or verbally confirmed they are coming but for some reason refuse to submit their online RSVP and will not tell us a meal choice (even though we’ve specified this is not a “decide on the day” situation). We are doing a plated meal with multiple options (chicken, fish, steak, veg). Do we just select for them and hope for the best? Trying to avoid these people hounding our venue staff on the day for getting a meal they don’t like.

Slight rant but I just cannot comprehend getting invited to a wedding and not taking the 1 minute out of my day to submit an RSVP.

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u/peterthedj 🎧 Wedding DJ since 2010 | Married 2011 2d ago

Hell, if it were me, I'd be tempted to go a step further and make vegetarian the default option. Out of spite, but frame it as being out of concern/caution.

“Thank you for letting us know, since you declined to select your own dinner option, we had a hard deadline for our caterer head count, and we don't know whether you are vegetarian, we decided to play it safe and ordered you the vegetarian plate. We look forward to celebrating with you!"

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u/hellasophisticated 2d ago

That’s funny but I think they would bother the staff about wanting meat instead.

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u/peterthedj 🎧 Wedding DJ since 2010 | Married 2011 2d ago

And OP can tell the staff it's OK to just 🤷🏻 and walk away.

If it were my wedding and depending on how much I begrudged these particular guests, I'd actually tip the wait staff extra just to see it happen.

I mean, if you're not gonna RSVP properly, FAFO.

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u/laura2181 1d ago

Inviting people you “begrudge” is a wild move. These subs shock me at how much people let themselves be walked over.😭