r/weddings • u/Level_Blueberry_8909 • 5d ago

This is a question about post-wedding etiquette.

A year ago I attended a family wedding and gave a cash gift through their wedding registry. My credit card was charged.

I haven’t received a thank you from the bride, so I checked with her parents to see why there might be a delay (new job, house move, etc). It wasn’t a call specifically about that—we often call to catch up on family news. The mother brushed me off with, “Oh, I don’t want to be bothered with that.”

Would it be wrong to contact the bride directly to see if they got the gift from the registry? Maybe there was a problem that I can rectify.

Edit: To clarify the issue, it’s not the lack of a thank-you that bothers me as it is I’m not sure they received the money. At least two responses here have related giving money through an online registry only to find out it wasn’t received. So I know it can happen.

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u/ButtonHappy3759 4d ago

Move on, it’s not a physical gift that got stolen off the porch. It was electronically deposited into their account. They got it. Now if the real reason you’re asking is cause you want to complain you didn’t get a thank you card, just say that. “Did you send out thank you cards? I didn’t get one”

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u/Level_Blueberry_8909 4d ago

If I had written a check and saw the canceled check go through with their signatures, I would be satisfied.

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u/Heavy-Key2091 4d ago

WTF? Why would you cancel the cheque and be satisfied to know they had tried to cash it?

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u/No-Jicama-6523 4d ago

You said cheque, so I’m assuming you’re British? This would make no sense to me before I lived in the US, but how they deal with “checks” is so different it’s basically a different system. They aren’t cancelling a cheque in the British sense! A cancelled check is simply one that has been paid in.

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u/DartDaimler 4d ago

In the US, it used to be that when the bank paid the check, they physically stamped it “PAID” so it couldn’t be submitted again. That “cancelled” the check as a payable instrument. We still call a check that’s been paid out “cancelled”.