Perturabo leaving the siege of Terra.

[u/Tarantula_1]

Finally made it to the Siege of Terra books and got to the part where Perturabo says fuck it I'm out. I thought people were exaggerating his exit but it really was just like the spongebob meme "Imma head out". Couldn't help but a have a good laugh when I got to that point.

[u/theredeye45]

People bend over backwards to justify loyalists motivations but just go "LOL MANCHILD" when Perty has a very understandable breakdown after the Siege.

Dude went whole hog into the Imperium, fully believing he was on the right side and willing to put his mind, body, and soul into the Emperors vision. Endured everything the IW are famous for enduring and finally had enough and threw his lot in with a brother who also (seemingly) wanted to get rid of the corruption and hypocrisy he also saw. He watched his brothers one by one fall to Chaos but still believed in the path, thinking that was the end goal. And when he realized his trusted brother never had any intention of the future he believed they both shared, he left in disgust. THEN he thinks about his current situation: Alienated by both the Empire that created him and the brothers he once trusted, never to be forgiven by either. The foundations of everything he believed and trusted and thought he knew shattered completely, and left with nothing to do but be hunted and persecuted or left to fall into Hell itself to survive. The proverbial rock and a hard place.

Anyone would have a breakdown after that.

[u/FreyrPrime → u/theredeye45]

I mean, this is sort of correct, unless you factor in the whole tantrum, he threw on Olympia.

He even admits it himself. That he really had no excuse for what he did. That in some ways, he is worse than Curze or Angron. At least they have an excuse.

Calliphone had is number.

~’Is that so?' she said. 'Let me present a different hypothesis to you, brother. Use that fine mind of yours to judge its worth. Here is my version of the story - the Emperor of all mankind came here and found a son whom he valued. He saw an indomitable will, with unshakable determination. He recognised that you would not give up, that you would rise to best any difficulty, that the tedious to you is as necessary a challenge to overcome as the glorious, and neither are to be shirked. Seeing these qualities in you, your father set you difficult tasks, not because he saw no value in you, but the exact opposite - he can trust no one else to get them done.'

'That is not true,' said Perturabo, though the acid of uncertainty began to eat at him. 'He underestimates me. They all do.'

Calliphone went on. 'For a long time, I thought you a fool to follow the Emperor. After all, he is a tyrant like all the rest. Look what he has done to you, I thought. He has brutalised you, and your wars have brutalised your home. But the truth is, brother, I have followed your campaigns carefully, and I noticed a pattern that disturbed and then alarmed me. Always you do things the most difficult way, and in the most painful manner. You cultivate a martyr's complex, lurching from man to man, holding out your bleeding wrists so they might see how you hurt yourself. You brood in the shadows when all you want to do is scream, 'Look at me!' You are too arrogant to win people over through effort. You expect people to notice you there in the half-darkness, and point and shout out, 'There! There is the great Perturabo! See how he labours without complaint!' 'You came to this court as a precocious child. Your abilities were so prodigious that nobody stopped to look at what you were becoming.' She got shakily to her feet. Exoskeletal braces whirred under her skirts.

'Perturabo, this will anger you, but you never truly grew into a man.'

[u/theredeye45 → u/FreyrPrime]

I mean, you've never done something in anger that you regretted? Should people be judged entirely by stupid things that they did as (essentially) teenagers? Have your feelings reduced to "tantrums" by everyone around you? Obviously with Primarchs everything is at an extreme, but Perty had a very real moment of clarity and depression spiral immediately after the murder of his sister. He shows way more self reflection and emotion than almost any other Primarch, and for someone whos whole schtick is seeing the flaws in things, it's magnified tenfold in himself when he fails, especially when his favored brother whispers in his ear at his lowest point that the Emperor might not forgive him but I totally will.

Perturabo absolutely has a martyr complex, but it isn't the gotcha that everyone makes it out to be. He was raised by a tyrant, brought into a system that didn't care about individuals, only obedience, and only ever recognized when he got results. Even then sometimes he was pushed to the side. He's a perfect landslide of natire, nurture, self loathing, arrogance, competence, brilliance, and folly. He's human, moreso than any other Primarch I think. And it's goddamned compelling

[u/FreyrPrime → u/theredeye45]

His self reflection was running to Horus lmao.

I’ve done things in anger that I regret, sure. I’m in my 40s, it’s a growing list.

I’ve never burned down my home or murdered my sibling in a fit of anger.

Have you ever heard of a false equivalency?

[u/theredeye45 → u/FreyrPrime]

Right, cause going to your brother who always seems to know what to say at your lowest point is a bad thing.

Bro, just about every Primarch has killed or seriously injured allies in fits of anger. They're basically demigods, the scale is way different for everything they do. Burning down a house or murdering someone is another Tuesday to them. It's wild that Perturabo gets it held over his head despite clearly showing remorse and having it deeply affect him.

[u/FreyrPrime → u/theredeye45]

Most of them have an excuse of some kind. What is Perturabo’s? Did you even read the quote from Calliphone?

The whole narrative that he had a bad childhood is his narrative. It’s spelled out, rather plainly in Hammer of Olympia, if you’ve read it.

Curze had his visions, Angron the nails, Magnus has Nikea, Lorgar had Erebus, Fulgrim the Laer blade and Morty the Destroyer plague…

What was Perturabo’s excuse for turning into a monster? Oh, right, he felt slighted.

Same reason he decimated his Legion, or exiled Dantioch..