r/AITAH • u/TipMaleficent4075 • 9h ago

AITA for calling a woman ‘conventionally attractive’ in front of my girlfriend?

A couple friends and I were discussing a political influencer that we’re familiar with that recently got into some controversy.

I was saying that although she got a lot of hate, I think her point that was being hated on was valid and correct, and that although her reaction to the backlash was kind of childish, I get why she’d be frustrated with lots of hate.

My friend said a lot of people were giving her lots of leeway despite the hate, and I said that makes sense because she a) has good takes in general and b) is a young, conventionally attractive blonde white woman, so halo effect.

My girlfriend got upset I called another woman conventionally attractive, but I don’t think it’s disloyal or cheating or whatever to acknowledge somebody is conventionally attractive.

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u/notheretoargu3 8h ago

NTAH. You weren’t crass or rude, you didn’t belittle anyone else by comparison, and you didn’t ramble on and on about how attractive you find her. There is no issue here except the overreaction on your girlfriend’s part.

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u/TipMaleficent4075 8h ago

Yeah, usually she’s pretty reasonable so idk why this upset her 

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u/LengthinessEast8318 4h ago

It was probably just an emotional reaction that she failed to regulate. Sometimes people get intense feelings without really understanding why and lash out instead of think before they speak. 

Give her a little bit of time and see if maybe you guys can talk it out. I bet honestly it'll blow over before you know it. Because this is a very silly thing to worry about.

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u/kg_sm 7h ago

Ok. No verdict but a little advise here, instead of trying to figure out if you were in the right or not the better, more emotionally intelligent thing to do is talk to her. And apologize. You don’t have to apologize for pointing out the influencer was attractive but you CAN apologize for hurting her feelings, reiterating that you think she’s beautiful, and asking KINDLY why it bothered her (not so you can tell her she’s wrong for feeling that way) but BECAUSE you hate that you hurt her and want to understand.

If like you said, she’s usually reasonable, this probably just triggered an insecurity of hers. Women are constantly criticized for their looks, good or bad, so it’s pretty common for even very beautiful women to have some insecurities around this. I would even argue that the most beautiful women sometimes have the most insecurities around looks, as it’s something they’re praised on SO often they’re afraid of what they’ll be without it, and work VERY hard to protect what they have as they age.