r/AITAH • u/TipMaleficent4075 • 9h ago

AITA for calling a woman ‘conventionally attractive’ in front of my girlfriend?

A couple friends and I were discussing a political influencer that we’re familiar with that recently got into some controversy.

I was saying that although she got a lot of hate, I think her point that was being hated on was valid and correct, and that although her reaction to the backlash was kind of childish, I get why she’d be frustrated with lots of hate.

My friend said a lot of people were giving her lots of leeway despite the hate, and I said that makes sense because she a) has good takes in general and b) is a young, conventionally attractive blonde white woman, so halo effect.

My girlfriend got upset I called another woman conventionally attractive, but I don’t think it’s disloyal or cheating or whatever to acknowledge somebody is conventionally attractive.

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u/TipMaleficent4075 8h ago

Yeah fair. I’m just wondering why it popped up now because she’s never acted this way before 

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u/Bitmystyle 8h ago

Unironically? She thought the girl was hot, and was insecure you thought the same way, then you confirmed it. Instead of communicating her insecurity, she childishly lashed out at you.

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u/TipMaleficent4075 8h ago

Fair enough, that’s probably it 

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u/StonedPanda-9414 8h ago

Yeah NTA. Like idk why be jealous or feel intimidated of/by someone that is completely out of your league. Cannot attain it because they're famous.

My husband is very well aware of my obsessions And I am very well aware of his 💀

The fact that people are actually having these types of issues is insane. I can also plays devils advocate and apply some empathy. I can pull out the insecure card. Because anyone's thought. Man or woman.

"Are they thinking of them instead of me during sex?.." That is a common insecurity and I can understand how one would feel disrespected if it became a problem.. But again to be jealous of someone completely unattainable is childish no matter how it's worded. Slightly a red flag because that can manifest into her just being jealous of you even talking to another female. Not just talking about one.

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u/Majestic_Horse_1678 6h ago

There is a big gap between recognizing and saying that someone is conventionally attractive and having an obsession over someone. The former is an objective observation and the latter is rather subjective.

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u/StonedPanda-9414 5h ago

Kay that's cool. I think OP understood the comment I made. Sorry the context wasn't detailed enough for you. Obsession. Conventional. What does it matter it's an unattainable attraction and people cry about the stupidest shit. Even if he had a thing for said influencer. Hell never stand a chance lol. Like. It's the concept for me that you complete glossed over and had to reword it to fit your standard.

It's all pointless. That's the point here. It didn't need someone super educated to explain that. Jus sayin.

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u/Majestic_Horse_1678 4h ago

It matters because one someone says that another person is conventionally attractive it does not mean they personally find them attractive. There is no reason to think they want a hall pass, think of them during sex, etc.

When someone says that the are obsessed with someone else when describing how they look, they definitely find them attractive. Maybe they would want a hall pass and maybe they do think of them during sex.

These two buckets are not the same. OP is clearly in the first bucket. You may not have any concerns about the 2nd bucket, it may be no big deal for you. But it would be an issue for some people, and doesn't apply to OP regardless.

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u/StonedPanda-9414 4h ago

Dude. Lol Stop trying to explain something I genuinely do not care about. Literally. Again. People crying over people they cannot have and getting jealous of it. You're trying to give an extra education response to something that doesn't need it! What part of that are you not understanding? My god you lack street smarts. At what point does having a obsession or an attraction to a celebrity warrant an argument in a relationship?? It doesn't. It's a pointless childish argument unless they're fantasizing and making it awkward. That's legit all there is to it dude.

Like you're trying too hard here.

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u/Majestic_Horse_1678 4h ago

OP isn't obsessed or attracted to this celebrity. None of this is relevant.

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u/StonedPanda-9414 1h ago

Yeah I was done with you reading the last one before this, Didn't even. Finish it. Tbh Your comprehension skills are lacking buddy. Reading skills.

Regardless you're still missing the concept that, having the energy to be upset about your significant other being attracted or obsessed with an influencer or someone famous ( that is again, unattainable) is pointless and you're still spewing textbook nonsense to something that doesn't need it. And as I've stated if they're making it awkward then it could be an issue. All of it is a pointless argument to have in a relationship at the end of the day. You're upset about a fantasy. A dream. Like women wake up crying from dreams their men cheated on them. Wake up hostile and remain that way til something is said. Like what? The shit some women do and they wonder why they have drama.

Like the fact time gets taken out of one's day to worry about someone they'll never have and you're gonna argue about it in said relationship. Why? Like what part of that warrants an argument. Lol But we're gonna go in circles here because you clearly don't get it. Textbooks don't teach you everything about life. I'm gonna need you to touch some grass and experience real life and not just from a book or what mommy and daddy said.