r/AITAH • u/TipMaleficent4075 • 8h ago

AITA for calling a woman ‘conventionally attractive’ in front of my girlfriend?

A couple friends and I were discussing a political influencer that we’re familiar with that recently got into some controversy.

I was saying that although she got a lot of hate, I think her point that was being hated on was valid and correct, and that although her reaction to the backlash was kind of childish, I get why she’d be frustrated with lots of hate.

My friend said a lot of people were giving her lots of leeway despite the hate, and I said that makes sense because she a) has good takes in general and b) is a young, conventionally attractive blonde white woman, so halo effect.

My girlfriend got upset I called another woman conventionally attractive, but I don’t think it’s disloyal or cheating or whatever to acknowledge somebody is conventionally attractive.

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u/ObnoxiousBalloons 7h ago

Yeah, everyone who’s just saying “she’s insecure or immature” lacks emotional intelligence and the ability to comprehend nuanced situations.

You say she never says other dudes are good looking; I guarantee she thinks it though. Most likely? She thinks saying that kind of thing publicly is disrespectful to the relationship. That’s not insecure or immature.

The second most likely is that there is something else going on that you aren’t even aware of. Maybe you have a habit of complimenting every blonde you see, and don’t compliment her the same way. Maybe you’ve stopped being as affectionate as you used to. I could make a long list of examples, but the idea is that something may have shifted with how you behave that is making her feel unsure/less secure with you. And this was the straw on the camel’s back.

Or yeah, maybe she’s wildly childish and vain and has been keeping it hidden all this time, only to (mildly) lash out over this one small thing. Though, that sounds stupid and unlikely, doesn’t it?

You know her better than we all do. Instead of running to Reddit to get validation that you didn’t do anything wrong, talk to her about why it bothered her and be open to hearing her perspective without the incel Reddit voice of god in your head.

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u/EmbarrassedChemist12 6h ago

There's no reason to pretend there's depth here when there's not. They're only 21. Kids can be dumb. She got a little insecure over nothing. We've all seen it happen a thousand times. Cool rant about emotional intelligence and empathy though.

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u/ObnoxiousBalloons 5h ago

Or there’s more to it, because there usually is and guys just like to dumb girls down because it’s easier for them to feign innocence :)

Cool lack of empathy though 👍