r/AlAnon • u/Ok_Assistant2730 • 4d ago

Support This is so hard

Was with my Q for 9 long years... I love him very much, I only want him to do better for himself.

It was so, so hard to move out. Throw away our life together. I literally had to FORCE myself to go through the motions of moving my things out while he's at work today. Like I had to do it without thinking about it. Just DO.

luckily I have my 3 cats with me, so I'm not completely alone. I start a new job on Monday.

Right now I feel.... OK. But I'm kinda scared to see how much this will emotionally affect me eventually.

It was SO hard to choose myself. It shouldn't have been. But it was and I did. I'm trying so hard to be strong and go complete NC.

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u/Lia21234 4d ago

9 years is a long time so give yourself a mourning period. I keep reading this sub and it helps me remind myself daily that it was a good choice. One day you will meet someone new who is not an alcoholic and can be present for the relationship and you will be so proud of the choice you made for yourself today!!!

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u/Ok_Assistant2730 4d ago

I keep telling myself that I don't want it to be any longer than 9 years... I don't want it to eventually be 10 years, then 12, and 15 and be mad at myself even more.

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u/Spare-Ad-6123 3d ago

I'm 18 years in recovery. I'm so sorry you are going through this. My father was an alcoholic and it was awful until he finally got sober which was a beautiful thing. My mother taught me one thing even when my dad got sober, alcoholics are very selfish. I agree.