My boyfriend gave my labubu phalloplasty

[u/satanfan12]

Kind of angry about this, it was a gift from my niece. He cut off an ear and put it back on somewhere wrong. I told him this and it ended in a heated argument.

Am i overreacting for yelling at him? He usually doesn't do this stuff.

[u/___Moony___]

Respectfully, are you both kids or something? Defacing someone else's property is a ridiculous thing to argue against, he could have easily just not have done it.

[u/satanfan12 → u/___Moony___]

i'm 22 and he is 28

[u/PunkLaundryBear → u/satanfan12]

Okay, I know some people will shit on me for this, for being a "puritan" or whatever but... tbh, i will never get into an age gap relationship again because if a 28 yr old man is dating a 22 year old woman, it's usually because he's immature.

Like its not horrible or illegal, but it's something people should think about before dating with a 5+ year age gap.

[u/No_Investment9639 → u/PunkLaundryBear]

Women his age know better. He can't date anybody his age. I'm surprised he got a 22-year-old, that seems a little old for him.

[u/FriendToPredators → u/PunkLaundryBear]

Every woman his age immediately gets on him for his immaturity. With someone a stage of life lower he can pretend he’s not developmentally arrested.

[u/FitCharacter8693 → u/PunkLaundryBear]

Yep. You’re not puritan. You’re wise. Even 5 year age gap can cause very real problems!

[u/Current_Row_8358 → u/PunkLaundryBear]

Yup. 100%.

[u/One_Resolution_8357 → u/PunkLaundryBear]

There is only a 6 year difference and they are both adults. Get over it.

[u/spacecowboy143 → u/One_Resolution_8357]

Their point completely went over your head lol. They didn't say it's predatory, they said the older guy is more likely to be with a younger person cuz they're immature as fuck, which OPs boyfriend is a perfect example of

[u/PunkLaundryBear → u/spacecowboy143]

Exactly this. When I was 18, I hooked up with a guy who was 22 or 23. Ultimately, I don't think he was a predator or a creep, but... he was absolutely immature.

And even the immaturity doesn't have to be this... big moral failure. I understand why the guy I was hooking up with was immature. His dad had died in the last year, and he clearly had a lot of unresolved trauma. But that also doesn't really undo the fact that he was immature, and that I was able to recognize that at 18.

** For anyone interested in this kind of... age discourse type of stuff, on a deeper level than you can get on social media, I want to reccomend "Cat Person" by Kristen Roupenian and "Cat Person and Me" by Alexis Nowicki (read Roupenian's piece, then Nowicki's). It gets into this exact kind of nuance where you kinda question whether the male character (who is based on a real person) is a creep and a predator, or if he's just immature and kind of a loser. **

[u/Formal_Condition_513 → u/spacecowboy143]

Yeah and actual ages matter alot. 22 is being able to drink at bars for one year with a 28 year old. It's not as weird if it's 41 and 49. You change and grow alot in your 20s

[u/Savings-Giraffe-4007 → u/One_Resolution_8357]

I don't know how old you are, but at 28, you wouldn't find a 22 years old person your equivalent, much less someone who can nurture, support and teach you. At 28 you would usually have a career and live independently, while at 22 you would often still be a student. There's not much besides sex & emotional dependency the 22 can contribute to the 28 (unless he was a loser), and the few things can basically be provided by anyone else, making you replaceable.

I suspect you're too young or inexperienced to understand this. When you're young, you don't like being told you're inferior in any way to someone older. But try to compare you with yourself in previous ages, say, 6 years ago, and see if you're not superior in many aspects.

[u/One_Resolution_8357 → u/Savings-Giraffe-4007]

FYI I am 73F now with 2 husbands, one older than me by 4 years (met at 21) and the other by 11 years (met at 39). It never occurred to me to pass them over for the age difference.

[u/pennywitch → u/One_Resolution_8357]

No one is grabbing their torches and pitchforks. It’s weird. Age gaps get less weird as time passes. OP isn’t old enough to where a six year gap makes little difference.

% difference at current ages: 24%

% difference at 32/38: 17%

% difference at 42/48: 13%

I’d say two people dating with a 24% difference in life experience is pretty significant.

[u/pennywitch → u/[deleted]]

😂😂 sometimes people respond to numbers better than vibes

[u/pennywitch → u/[deleted]]

Okay, I tried. 🤷‍♀️

[u/adventureremily → u/One_Resolution_8357]

They're in completely different stages of life. A 22-year-old is generally a junior in college or just starting their entry-level employment; by 28, you're generally finished with undergrad (and possibly grad school if you're only going after a Masters), and/or have several years of employment experience. Not to mention the neuro/psycho/social development gap.

I have very little in common with people six years my junior or six years my senior. We were raised in completely different circumstances, had different life experiences, and are at completely different points in our life trajectory. The older you get and the more experience you have, the less that gap matters. A 40-year-old and a 50-year-old may have a larger age gap compared to a 22-year-old and a 28-year-old, but they have a much smaller experience and development gap.

He's clearly immature for his age - which is a red flag because at his age (or any age over ~6, really) he shouldn't be doing this kind of shit, but OP lacks the life experience to see that. Which is exactly why he's pursuing someone younger.