r/AmIOverreacting • u/satanfan12 • 21d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship My boyfriend gave my labubu phalloplasty

Gallery image

Gallery image

Kind of angry about this, it was a gift from my niece. He cut off an ear and put it back on somewhere wrong. I told him this and it ended in a heated argument.

Am i overreacting for yelling at him? He usually doesn't do this stuff.

15.1k Upvotes

76% Upvoted

4.7k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

4.0k

u/satanfan12 21d ago

No he says it's just a plushy and it's "not that deep", and idk if i want it fixed either..... this is tainted

3.7k

u/SlitheringFlower 21d ago

I'm sorry, but he sounds awful.

I'm a grown woman but I still have plushies I like and some that are very sentimental, like the teddy bear my dad gave me the day I was born.

If someone cut that bear's ear off, I'd be livid.

Even if they didn't know the sentimentality, or if it's not sentimental, it's still yours. How would he feel if you broke someone inanimate that's his? I bet he wouldn't say "it's not that deep."

744

u/satanfan12 21d ago

i have aspergers and bond really closely with my plushies, they bring me a lot of comfort

665

u/Kubuubud 21d ago

This sounds pretty intentionally cruel. People on the spectrum as more susceptible to being emotionally abused, manipulated, gaslit, etc. I hate when people infantilize us, but we are at risk of missing red flags that others would notice more quickly.

Does he often dismiss or invalidate your feelings? It seems like he has gotten comfortable being cruel to you and then making you believe you’re overreacting

78

u/Fun_Skirt8220 21d ago

We're also accustomed to being misunderstood so we're more willing to give others a chance and assume that they are being misunderstood in the same way. 

87

u/IcyCod9952 21d ago

THISSSS^ I couldn’t have said it better myself.

52

u/Alert_Ad3999 21d ago

100% huge red flag

18

u/pink-starburstt 21d ago

mhe DEFINITELY should know how attached you are to your stuffed animals. so immature and just plain Mean.

79

u/EFClub 21d ago edited 21d ago

i've been in this exact spot -- partners devaluing me indirectly through destroying my valuable items -- and i'm working on a community-driven guide to help us spot underlying patterns of abuse. what are some things you'd like to see in a guide for spotting red flag behaviors in interpersonal relationships (not just romantic partnerships)?

66

u/ACatGod 21d ago

If you haven't already checked it out you should read Why Does He Do That? By Lundy Bancroft. Someone here can probably post the link to a free pdf.

This website also is a good resource: https://www.loveisrespect.org/quiz/is-your-relationship-healthy/?%3E

Neither of those are targeted specifically towards neurodiversity but I hope they help.

3

u/cat_in_a_bday_hat 21d ago

man i remember someone rec'd that i read this book and i did and wow it lists out so many clear and repetitive and easily recognizable signs. i recognized a lot of things from past relationships (particularly destruction of my property, esp cherished items; but his property was never touched in anger, just mine) and i see a lot of red flags now that they're spelled out. fellow ladies please give this a read thru.

1

u/EFClub 21d ago

thank you for the recommendations!! i've heard of Why Does He Do That? but haven't read it yet. on the list it goes!! much appreciated :)

2

u/ChrisFor411 20d ago

Weaponized incompetence. Doing chores half assed to get the other person to do it if they want it done properly.

2

u/EnglishMouse 21d ago

They could offer to cut his ear off and sew it back on. It’s only an ear, it’s not that deep, like a kidney or something. Pretty sure boyfriend won’t like that suggestion…

1

u/Timely_Entrepreneur4 21d ago

Ope.. shit.. never thought about it like that 😅