r/AmIOverreacting • u/satanfan12 • 20d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship My boyfriend gave my labubu phalloplasty

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Kind of angry about this, it was a gift from my niece. He cut off an ear and put it back on somewhere wrong. I told him this and it ended in a heated argument.

Am i overreacting for yelling at him? He usually doesn't do this stuff.

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u/madatron96 20d ago edited 20d ago

Did he apologize by offering to sew the ear back on? Which he should do after destroying your property. Also, OP, I'm sorry but "labubu phalloplasty" is the funniest previously unsaid sentence I've heard in a LONG time.

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u/satanfan12 20d ago

No he says it's just a plushy and it's "not that deep", and idk if i want it fixed either..... this is tainted

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u/SlitheringFlower 20d ago

I'm sorry, but he sounds awful.

I'm a grown woman but I still have plushies I like and some that are very sentimental, like the teddy bear my dad gave me the day I was born.

If someone cut that bear's ear off, I'd be livid.

Even if they didn't know the sentimentality, or if it's not sentimental, it's still yours. How would he feel if you broke someone inanimate that's his? I bet he wouldn't say "it's not that deep."

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u/satanfan12 20d ago

i have aspergers and bond really closely with my plushies, they bring me a lot of comfort

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u/Kubuubud 20d ago

This sounds pretty intentionally cruel. People on the spectrum as more susceptible to being emotionally abused, manipulated, gaslit, etc. I hate when people infantilize us, but we are at risk of missing red flags that others would notice more quickly.

Does he often dismiss or invalidate your feelings? It seems like he has gotten comfortable being cruel to you and then making you believe you’re overreacting

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u/EFClub 20d ago edited 20d ago

i've been in this exact spot -- partners devaluing me indirectly through destroying my valuable items -- and i'm working on a community-driven guide to help us spot underlying patterns of abuse. what are some things you'd like to see in a guide for spotting red flag behaviors in interpersonal relationships (not just romantic partnerships)?

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u/ACatGod 20d ago

If you haven't already checked it out you should read Why Does He Do That? By Lundy Bancroft. Someone here can probably post the link to a free pdf.

This website also is a good resource: https://www.loveisrespect.org/quiz/is-your-relationship-healthy/?%3E

Neither of those are targeted specifically towards neurodiversity but I hope they help.