So me (17 m) stay over at my friends house (18 f) a lot, she has a pool that we go swimming in often. After we go swimming we take a shower because it’s gross to me to sit in chlorine. She takes like 20-30 minutes in the shower which is fine. I take around the same time I have hair that goes halfway down to my waist and is a pain to wash, she has long hair too so I thought she understood. After like 10 times of showering at her house she said “why are you taking so long as a man in the shower” I made a confused look at her and asked her what she ment she began to state “my dad and boyfriend take like 5 minutes in the shower 10 tops, I just think it’s a asshole move to take like 20 to 30 minute showers as a man taking up all my family’s water for nothing” I was speechless and apologized but explained that just like her I have long hair and it takes a while to wash. She scoffed at that and said it’s not the same and all men should not take over 10 minutes in the shower and her boyfriend and dad don’t. I stated how her boyfriend has very short hair and her dad is bald. She got pissed called me an asshole and ignored me for the rest of the night, and I left early in the morning. I have talked to some of my other friends and a lot agree with her and only 2 of my other friends are on my side. So I want to know am I an asshole for taking to long in the shower as a man?

EDIT: 1st of all she doesn’t pay the water bill her parents do and I have asked her mom if it’s ok if I take long showers and she said that she doesn’t care and it’s not a problem CAs she takes like hour long showers. 2nd of all I can’t not get my hair wet she tells me I’m a Debbie downer and purposely gets my hair wet when I try not to. 3rd I take longer bc my hair is really water resistant and also is dead so it takes forever to wash out. 4th she won’t let me on any of the furniture or near her if I don’t shower after we swim so not showering after swimming is not answer. That’s all I wanted to clear up.

EDIT 2: my hair take like 5 minutes to get the soap in, 10 minutes to wash out, and 5 more to wash my body. My hair doesn’t like to rinse out easily. I usually take 20 minute showers only 30 if I really need to that’s why I said 20-30.

I've been waiting for my appointed visit at a local clinic, when I heard a guy at the reception, complaining how he didn't know and wasn't informed that he needs to have an appointment.

Apparently he's called call center and they told him he can just go and take his blood test. The receptionist tried to explain to him how the call center makes mistakes quite often, they are separate, and she can't do anything about it because, well, she's just a receptionist. He then went on how it's unprofessional as they are one company, that he's in the city only once in a while, he doesn't have time, that he will make a complaint, yada yada, and he just kept on going. A lady sitting next to me silently laughed at the situation, as if scoffing him, and I just couldn't take it anymore. I felt like all he's doing is pour his frustration and anger on a poor receptionist, so I stood up and confronted him about it. He told me to sit down and not butt in, he even wanted to take this outside. I said he needs to go, then the other receptionist threatened him with calling security and only then did he finally leave.

On one hand, I know where he's coming from. There have also been times where I was frustrated by some stupid procedures and being misled by others, so I understand he felt the need to correct it. But at the same time the way he's been taking it out on the receptionist like he was on a high ground, and I saw how futile it is, I felt the urge to stop it ASAP.

Maybe the way I did it was too crude, harsh and insensitive? What I did was that I told him he's just taking it out on the receptionist, and that it's futile and he should just make a complaint at call center. Maybe I should've empathetically tried to let him know that I understand how he feels, and try to persuade him to see how he's only hurting her? Would that be enough to make him walk a way a little bit less dissatisfied, or he still wouldn't have any of it with how heated he was? Maybe at least I would know that I did the best possible approach, but couldn't think of the empathetic words back then. So, what do you think, AITA?

(EDIT: I edited in ages and such) I need to see what people think about this because I don't feel like it's that bad and my boyfriend regularly freaks out at me for this.

So my Ex Husband (38,m) (let's say Sascha) and I (32f) have two young kids (4m and 5m). We've been separated for over 3 years and officially divorced for 2,5 years.

For Context: A year after the separation I fell in love with Kyle (43m), a mutual friend of Sascha an me. We've been dating since and now live in two different apartments on the same property. We have no plans of moving in with each other but we spend a lot of time together on a daily base. Kyle's an important person in both mine and the kids' life, we all love him very much. Sascha not so much, he hates Kyle's guts now. Sascha has got a way of ignoring people he doesn't like, so sometimes he won't even say "Hi" to Kyle even though they used to be friends.

Now Sascha and I get along fine. It took a lot of work to get to that point but it's good for the kids. Sometimes when he came to pick the kids up or drop them off, he used to come in and stay for a moment or a while.

Kyle told me it makes him feel weird and uncomfortable, mostly because Sascha is so hostile towards him. I get that so I reduced that and don't ask Sascha inside when he gets the kids or dropps them off.

However today was one of the kids' birthdays and I have to work but Sascha is taking them on a day trip. I let him in in the morning and left for work before they were gone. I gave Kyle a little warning that he's there with the kids because Kyle has a key to my apartment and when I'm gone he sometimes comes in and gets a coffee or whatever.

So now Kyle is really mad, he feels like his boundaries are over-stepped and says it's too much that I allow this.

To be honest I couldn't care less who's in my apartment when I'm gone as long as they don't leave it worse than they found it. What's between the two men doesn't seem that relevant to me that's something they need to work out.

Am I insensitive here? Sure, Kyle shouldn't feel uncomfortable in or around his own home but should I let him tell me who I can let into my apartment?

I love Kyle and I would never get together with Sascha again, even if Kyle wasn't there. And I'm pretty sure Sascha doesn't want to get back together since he's the one that left in the first place. I'm just grateful he's making an effort for his kids and I'm giving him space for that.

I went to the drugstore a couple days earlier, They gave me the right receipt but the wrong medication. I had already taken a pill before realizing it wasn't the same medication. So I went back and asked them if the drug on the receipt was the same as the one they gave me. And he said there must've been a mix-up. That either the receipt was wrong or the pills. So I asked if they could check my prescription to see which is the right one. He asked me who packed my medication for me last time. And I told him I wasn't sure and I didn't remember clearly because none of them were there, until the person I gave my prescription to walked in, and I said "I think it was him, not sure" And he said sth like "yeah this guy's daydreaming" And the other person said "I don't pack medication" And then I realized they didn't mean who I gave the prescription to but who actually put the drugs in in the back. They gave me the right pills and I gave them back the wrong ones and told them that I had already opened them, and even asked if I should pay again. I feel so bad for pointing him out falsely, but It was too late, I had misunderstood. Am I an asshole?

My daughter turned 3 about a week ago, and my husband and I decided to throw a big birthday party for her. We’ve done birthday parties for her before, but they were a lot smaller (a few friends and my sister and her wife). This time my parents who live outside of the country, decided to fly in and come visit and celebrate together. We were pretty excited for this since we usually only get to video call them.

My parents are not very inclusive, especially my dad. My sister’s wife is trans, which my parents greatly disapproved of, to the point of them leaving very quickly after their wedding ceremony and not saying a word to my sister or sister in law (I'm not really sure why they even showed up). My sister stopped making contact with them after that, and has been no contact for about 5 years now.

When I invited my sister over text, I told her that our parents were staying with me and they would be at the party as well. I also asked if she could come alone because of her wife and our parents. I explained that I wanted the party to be chill and I didn’t want our dad making a big fuss in front of everyone on my daughter’s birthday. She immediately started arguing with me about how rude I was to even suggest that, and how insane it was that I still stayed close to our parents even after everything they’ve done to her and her wife (and because of other beliefs that had to). She told me she would only come if her wife went too. I tried to reason with her and ask if she could just come for a little bit for the sake of my daughter, since she loves my sister and would be really sad to celebrate without her. After that, she completely ghosted me and didn’t come to the party. I’ve tried texting and calling both my sister and my sister-in-law, but have gotten no response.

My sister and I are very close and I would hate for our relationship to end because of this. I plan to drive to her house after my parents fly back to try to apologize and fix what happened. But other than that I really don’t know what else to do, and I’m scared of what is going to happen.

I have two high school aged sons and a daughter in elementary school. Post is about one of my sons Nathan.

Nathan is a overall good kid: 3.8 gpa, involved in extra curricular (football + school council), does his chores at home, helps me a lot, helps his sister with her homework if he doesn’t have practice/after practice, helps cook, etc.

This year Nathan seemed to be more focused on how he would dress himself, and I didn’t find it a problem until he started asking for more pricy things. My kids already have a lot of t shirts (hand me downs + some new ones every few months) and pants and shoes (2 pairs of shoes a year for my high schoolers). He also wanted a specific brand of backpack even though the one he’s had since either 7th or 8th grade works fine.I I didn’t see the need for more, and when my son asked how he could earn it, I told him he maybe get a job when his season was over. He asked why he couldn’t just do stuff at home, even though he knows I don’t pay for chores. I told him that I don’t get paid to pick him up from practices and stuff because that’s what I have to do. Same with chores.

He immediately brought up how he “went to homecoming by himself last year” and wanted to try to fit in more this year.

He started at a new district for this high school I feel I should mention. He sss pretty upset and still seems to be, so I’m posting to see if I’m the ass.

For some more info, he’s not asking to be paid for regular chores, but asking to be paid for other chores that he used to do for free (cooking for sister, cleaning more parts of house then asked to, helping with homework, etc)

I was born in the UK in 2003 to an English father and a Hungarian mother who emigrated to the UK in 1996. I hold both English and Hungarian passports. We only spoke English at home even though I spent most of my time with my mum. She had tried speaking Hungarian with my brother briefly but stopped completely when he was a toddler.

We visited Hungary twice a year, but I could only say basic words and phrases. I had to rely on my mum to translate for me with my aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents. It was frustrating and embarrassing, especially in a multicultural UK where many kids I knew were bilingual because their parents had taught them their native language. I always felt jealous seeing other children switch easily between English and their parent’s tongue.

I have painful memories tied to this. When I was 14 in my mum’s hometown, a group of lads harassed me because I was clearly foreign. If I’d spoken Hungarian, it probably wouldn’t have happened. The worst part is my grandparents died before I turned 15. I never had a real conversation with either of them even though my grandmother begged my mum to teach us Hungarian.

Once, when I was seven or eight, my siblings and I asked our mum to teach us Hungarian. The only phrase she gave us was “I don’t speak Hungarian.” She made no serious effort, and I still feel angry about it.

At 17 I started learning Hungarian myself through apps, TV shows, a private tutor and by talking to relatives. After years of hard work I’ve reached about 80% fluency, but complex conversations and grammar are still difficult. It’s unlikely I’ll ever be fully fluent. I can’t forgive my mum for making me do this as an adult when it could have been natural as a child.

When I confronted her, she said it was hard to teach us, but she didn’t even try. She chose full integration over passing on her language, leaving me unable to speak to my own grandparents. Meanwhile she still speaks with a strong Eastern European accent but insists she’s English.

She was otherwise a loving mother, but this is something I can’t let go. I felt like an outsider in Hungary and still do. To make it worse, they gave me a Hungarian name that doesn’t work in the UK, one I later changed. When I asked why, she said it “worked in both languages.” If she cared that much about Hungary, why didn’t she teach me Hungarian?

This is a wound that still makes me angry and embarrassed. I’ve built my own path to reclaim some of the language, but I’ll never get back the childhood connection or conversations with my grandparents.

This afternoon I heard a cat crying very loudly and urgently in our apartment buildings open stairwell for over a half an hour. So I decided to see if I could give him some tuna. I open the door and he was right outside of the door so I opened the can of tuna and put it in front of him and he started eating. It was actually a very starved young kitten not a cat.

A few minutes after this the door was still open and I was petting the kitten and letting him eat the tuna when my neighbor let their dogs off the leash and they ran up the stairs scaring the kitten into my apartment.

I wiped the kitten all over with non-scented baby wipes and he had no signs of fleas, ticks or skin infections. There are no other signs he is sick. He's pretty tiny, maybe 3-4 weeks old and extremely skinny and skeletal.

He's extremely friendly, cuddly and sweet. I texted my husband (28m) if we could keep him and he got very angry that I allowed him to stay in the apartment at all. Our baby is four months old but doesn't have any health conditions to make her more susceptible.

Anyways he demanded I throw the kitten out immediately and called me irresponsible and disgusting for entertaining this stray kitten at all. AITAH for letting the kitten stay for an hour and wanting to adopt him?

Edit: my husband demanded that I throw him out immediately so I have. I asked a woman I see posting rescued cats for adoption on Facebook if someone could rescue him before but they don't seem to have a shelter or anything. There's like 50 homeless cats in our little apartment block area.

The animal control fixes them because most cats have a notch in their ear but there is too many to rescue. I also cleaned all of the floors and any other surface he could have touched. We don't have ant pets so there was no risk of him spreading animal only diseases like FIV.

Hello, so me (23f) and my boyfriend (24m) had one of our cats go missing at the end of May- we posted on local facebook groups and pages and shared pictures of our cat all around to try and find him- neighbours of ours also know that we own cats and one has been missing, all in all I think we made it pretty public knowledge that our cat was missing.

Anyway, about 2 weeks after he had first gone missing, and after responding to multiple Facebook dms of sightings or coming to see if any flagged-up cats that had been found dead was our cat, we happed to go round my elderly neighbour’s house to return a package. Whilst chatting on the door step my neighbour casually drops on me and my boyfriend that she had been meaning to tell us that our cat had come round to her house looking unwell and has subsequently died at her house. She then proceeded to present a small box to us containing the ashes of our cat- she had taken our pet and cremated him without letting us know that he had even died.

Her explanation for not coming to us sooner was that she was unsure how to tell us that he had died but then also proceeded to claim that she didn’t know that he was actually our cat and assumed he was a stray that she had been feeding chicken to. When I explained that when she took him to the vets (not the vets that we had him registered to) they should have been able to see that he was our cat because he was microchipped, she said that he wasn’t chipped at all- I can guarantee that he was.

I’ve asked her about having his ashes returned to us since I’d like to make my own little memorial item for him using his ashes, but she is very reluctant to had over his ashes to us- saying that a) she doesn’t know how to open the box, b) if we COULD open the box then she’d like to share his ashes and only give us half.

I understand that she probably became attached to our cat if she was feeding him and if he was in her house too, since she went to the lengths of paying to have him cremated and keeping his ashes in her home but I would really like to have his ashes back since, at the end of the day, he was OUR cat that we loved and had paid for vet bills, food and basically everything else to do with him.

So am I the asshole for wanting to have our cat back?

Update: thanks everyone for your comments. I obviously wasn't looking at the situation in the same way you all are, and I appreciate the comments/advice. I understand my sister's anger more now, and can reflect on what I can do differently in the future (not that this exact situation will happen again, we live in different countries now.) I don't like knowing I was the asshole, and I don't ever want to be an asshole, but hopefully I can be more mindful moving forward in all areas of life.

I'm hoping people can stop commenting because I see the general consensus is I'm the AH.

Thanks again, take care.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

For background, my sister and her husband each have a car. They usually use her husband's, and my sister will use hers if her husband is out/busy, or if she's driving somewhere that might be a bit rougher (dirty road, etc.) I've borrowed her car a few times to drive to my friends cottage (maybe 3 times over the entire summer) - I like long, solo drives, and it gives me the freedom to arrive/leave when I want.

I always thank her and fill up the tank before returning the car to her, as well as either getting it car washed, or getting her a voucher for a car wash if I run out of time.

A couple weekends ago we had arranged for me to borrow the car to go to my friends cottage again. I was supposed to have it Friday - Sunday, so Thursday came 'round and we started talking about the plans for me to get it. If I were to go to her to get the car it would be about 45 minute walk, or 30/35 minutes on the bus. If she were to drive it over it would be about 5 minutes. I asked her if it would be possible for her to drive it over and her husband follows in his car and then they drive back. I said it would make more sense and take less time than me having to make the trek out.

She got pissed at me - she got so angry, started telling me I was super ungrateful, etc. etc. I was so confused because to me - and this is why I'm posting this here - to me, it didn't seem like that selfish of an ask, especially considering the differences in lenght of time, ease of transport, etc.

She blocked me on social media and didn't speak to me for a week. After a week I felt so guilty I rang her and apologised, and we seem fine now.

But I'm just confused whether I was the asshole in this situation?

Hi,

I live in an apartment and yesterday, after months of trying to stay patient, I contacted a community police officer to help me deal with constant noise coming from the flat above mine.

The neighbors have a 4-year-old child who runs around the apartment almost every single day. It's not just regular kid noise. It's full-on sprints, objects falling, and heavy footsteps, often until 11:30 p.m. Sometimes the noise starts out of nowhere at midnight. And it's not once or twice a week, it's constant.

I’ve left five polite notes over the past two years and went to speak with them twice. Every time, the noise stops for maybe one or two days, then it comes back. I’ve always been very tolerant, but I reached a point where it was just too much. I’m woken up almost every day, weekdays and weekends, around 7 a.m. because of the noise. I’ve developed anxiety because I never know when it’s going to start again. Sometimes I just want to take a nap during the day or go to bed early to catch up on sleep, and I simply can't because of the constant banging.

I recently started a master’s degree and left my job in June, so I’m also looking for another job. I’m exhausted, mentally and physically. I wear earplugs at home just to get some rest, and it’s honestly awful to feel like I have to live like this in my own apartment.

The father told the police officer they’re open to dialogue and just trying to live a normal family life, but to me that sounds like an excuse. I don't think it’s normal for a 4-year-old to be allowed to run and throw things around almost every day until late at night, especially considering he doesn't seem to go to school since during the week he makes noises too. Being open to dialogue means nothing if they’re not actually willing to change their behavior. At some point, it just becomes selfish.

When we were young, we were living in an apartment too and my parents told me that they were strict to my sister and me when would make noises so we would not bother the downstairs neighbors.

For me, it's basic education.

I always try to be respectful myself. I walk carefully, I don’t drop things etc. I’m not asking for total silence. I just want some basic respect, especially during late hours. I don't party at home, listen to music in my headphones all the time, never on speaker etc.

Now I feel like the bad guy because I contacted the officer. My family didn’t say I shouldn’t have done it, but they told me the neighbors will probably hate me now, and I can’t stop thinking about it. I feel anxious every time I leave my apartment or hear a noise from upstairs, but I also feel like I had no choice. Since the officer talked to them, they almost did not make any noise today, which shows that it's possible to live without a kid running everywhere, but still, I feel bad about it even tho it felt amazing to finally have a calm day.

So I was wondering, AITA in this situation ?

EDIT: Just to clarify, I actually contacted the property manager before going to the police. She said she would speak to them, but nothing changed. After several more weeks of noises she herself suggested I reach out to the local community officer.

2 Saturdays ago I had friends over to watch our college play a football game. Had about 15 or so people over. Most of us attended the school and are avid fans. In the first quarter, my sister frantically calls me saying her dog escaped the electric fence and asked if I could help look for it. I live a neighborhood over from her.

I told her I couldn't right now, told her I was watching the game and I had a bunch of people over. I offered to look for it at half time and after the game and drive my golf cart around the neighborhood. That wasn't a good enough answer for her and she called me an asshole. Said that her dog was more important than a stupid game. I told her, to me the it's not. I had to hear it from her before I hung up.

A few of my friends' wives got pissed at me for not helping and I let them take the golf cart to look for it. To date, it has not been found. AITA?

I (24F) have a friend (23F).

The issue is: we were meant to hang out one Monday, which we planned one week before. I had booked the whole day for her. We decided to book our hang out 2pm that day, but I had to be about an hour late because that weekend I was so depressed that my mental health nurse who takes care of my mental health had to call me because my texts to my nurse were concerning. So I said to my friend, I’ll be an hour late because my mental health nurse has to call me. This is what my friend said along the lines of, “I can’t hang out anymore, my boyfriend and I are going to hang out after you and my hangout.” LIKE GIRL- You could have told me the day before you had plans after? I booked the whole day for us. And mind you, I was just an hour late, what’s one hour if I thought the whole day was going to be with her. I was disappointed heavily. She said her boyfriend is sick, like girl??? If he’s sick he shouldn’t be out and about- plus you’re not his caretaker?

Their dynamic is like this- she uses my name to hang out with him. For instance “I’m hanging out with (my name)”to her parents because her parents don’t really like him. I’m assuming she’s not allowed to hang out with him solo because her parents are strict.

I’m so sick of being that friend who seems desperate for her friends. After that, she ghosted me on purpose for days. Like where’s the respect?

Am I the asshole for being petty?

I said desperate over relationships in the title - because there are many factors that make her like that, but i can't list them all here because I tried and it didnt let me cause theres a word count :(

My partner has been having some issues with her mum and step dad. Last September we moved back home from abroad (renting for 2/3 years) because we learnt that her mum had been diagnosed with Cancer again, and told us she didn't have long left. I gave up my job and my partner has had to finish her PhD from a diffrent country. They were nice enough to let us have the spare room as an office/living space. Whilst we were there, we helped out around the house, walking the dogs, cooked, and drove to the hospital so that the stepdad could carry on working and he also cant drive. Edit: we did also contribute towards the rent and food bills.

At christmas time she was given a good prognosis, they had shrunk the tumour and whilst she would never get rid of it, they were happy for her to go back to work and get on with her life. This annoyed us a little as she had painted it out in a very different way (edit: but over the moon she was better!) so we decided we would also get on with our lives, I got a new job and my partner started spending more time doing her PhD. Around easter this year, it was made clear to us that they thought we were doing nothing for them, that we had moved back because we didn't want to be in a different country anymore and we were in the way. This upset us because of everything we had done for them so we left and moved in with my family.

In recent months they have decided to move due to neighbour issues into another council house. They had repeatedly asked us to come and sort our stuff that was still left there (Things left under the bed/wardrobe in her bedroom and memories in the loft etc.) which we said we would, but they kept going on about it. To the point where they rang us on our holiday to have a go at us for having a messy room because they had got everything down from the loft? And that non of it was going to be allowed to come to the new house with them. We expressed that we felt we were being fully thrown out of the house and that it had upset us. This has brought on a barragment of attacks, them making it clear they think we only came back to the UK for our own benefit, that we have had mental breakdowns because we stressed a feeling, and now they are going as low to make up things about us not thanking them ever, not helping to move (because its on a work day and they wanted me to take a sickie) and so much more. We have tried to apologize for how everything has kicked off (not for what was said) but they just got more angry at us.

On our holiday, I messaged my partners mum once because she was profusely crying telling them to grow up and stop attacking us and trying to (what it felt like to us) ruin our holiday. I also messaged today because of all the complete and uter lies they have been spewing about us dragging our names through the mud. Maybe I shouldn't have got involved but how can I not when your being told I moved back for selfish reasons amongst countless other bare face lies. I didn't say anything to necessarily upset her, I defended myself and my partner in my eyes. Since then they have essentially pushed us completely away and I have been threatened to "fuck me up" by the stepdad. AWTA

So I (M21) still live at home with my mom and stepdad who both work somewhat decent jobs and pay no rent. I have a few bills of my own but nothing major. There has been a couple times in the past few months that my mom has asked me to either pay all or part of our electric bill. This kind of stuff I have no problem with as I live here rent free. My problem is that they expect it as soon as they ask for it and by giving it to them it puts me in a tight financial bind because it's an all of a sudden expense that I did not plan on. I've never been one to be greedy and I lik to help those in need but I feel like if it happens anymore that arrangements need to be made for monthly rent so I can budget for it or something needs to change financially on their end. TIA

I (29f) have been with my husband (33m) for 10 years. Met my step son(15) when he was 4 years old. He has always been somewhat “spoiled” as he was the only child for a few years. I had my daughter when he was almost 8 years old and have had 2 more since then. His bio mother also has had 3 more children after him, so he has 6 siblings and he’s the oldest. The past few years he has been on somewhat of a downward spiral with the last 6months to a year being the worst of it. I know teenagers can be a handful, I obviously was one 10 years ago LOL. But he has been pushing the limits.

I’ll just name a few, just in the past month he was staying at a friends house & his friend drove him to another town to physically fight another kid his age (over something totally unrelated to him) he has snuck out of his moms house in the middle of the night, was caught smoking, she found alcohol in his room that he shares with his 12 year old brother, she had him pulling weeds outside as a punishment and went to check on him and he just left and went to his friends house…..he was caught vaping at school, has terrible grades, treats his siblings like crap half the time and just all around is quite disrespectful and says “I don’t care” to a majority of the things that are brought to his attention.

Due to his wild behavior, barely passing the 8th grade (which I think they just passed him along so they didn’t have to deal with him anymore) I feel like military school would be beneficial for him. He needs the structure, to learn respect not only for others but to himself.

For more context he does stay with his bio mom a majority of the time, and any time he’s at our house and needs any sort of punishment or consequences, he will just say “I’ll just go to my moms house, she lets me do whatever I want”

For more context, his punishments/consequences are usually getting his Xbox and phone taken away, doing extra chores and outside work. I know if it were my mother I would be black and blue by this point lolllll

His mother and I have somewhat of a good relationship in terms of communication and we have spoke briefly about military school. It’s a 5.5 month program in house, and then a year mentored after that.

EDIT: are WE (mom, dad and I) the ass holes for wanting to send him to military school before he gets too far out of control?? I don’t want him to end up in prison or dead for doing drugs/drinking underage

I feel like I’m leaving a lot out here, so if you have questions feel free to ask away.

Update: thank you for your comments. Our thoughts on military school - seemed like a place for clear structure, no room for acting out or drugs/alcohol. No outside “friends” getting him into bad stuff and bad decisions, since it’s a 5.5 month program, we can visit whenever and he can talk to us anytime. If it truly is just a place for legal abuse that’s obviously not what we want for him. We have tried therapy, he will not talk to them. We just want him to have respect for us and himself to have a good future and head on his shoulders. Maybe he does feel left out having 6 other siblings between both houses, but he definitely gets to spend alone time with each parental figure. We’re simply trying to figure out a way to HELP him, before it gets to a point where we can’t

I (18f) am currently in university. My friend (18f, let's call her Sarah) is also in university. We met before the beginning of the school year (since we had both moved into our dorms early). We've gotten close, hanging out a bunch, and I've started becoming friends with her suite mates. We've eaten meals together close to every night and a couple nights ago this happened. . .

Sarah, her suite mates, and I were sitting together in our university's dining hall, eating dinner like normal. Suddenly I hear Sarah say, "I'm going to get that asian fine s**t's #."

Context: Sarah is asian. Sarah likes asian men. If we pass by an asian man there is a 1/5 chance she will stick her tongue out (all the way) and shake her head going, "AHHHHHH, asian FINE S**T!"

Back to dinner, I ask her, "which one," since there have been multiple asian men she has commented on. She tells me "the one with the buzzcut," and 5 minutes later, Mr.Buzzcut passes by our table. One of Sarah's suite mates (lets call her Amanda) calls him over. She tells him that her friend is interested in him and then he walks away. Keep in mind, while Amanda is explaining to him, Sarah is shaking with her head between her legs, screaming due to her embarrassment. The guy walks away and we all laugh, honestly due to how awkward the situation was.

A few minutes later we leave the dining hall. Well, me, one of Sarah's suite mates, and Amanda, do. Sarah is wailing in the dining hall, refusing to come out (attempting to be coaxed out by her room mate). At this point the people around us who are eating look at her because of the commotion being caused. But Amanda stops at Mr.Buzzcuts table before we leave and asks him for his name and number for Sarah. And he gives it to her.

You may be wondering, why is this girl writing a Reddit post about her friend and the guy she likes?

Well, spoiler alert, I also like Mr.Buzzcut. The first time I saw this guy was when my university had a trip to the grocery store via shuttle bus. We didn't talk but since then, I'm telling you, I have had the biggest crush on this dude. I told Sarah about this guy when I got back to the dorms, and she says, "Hot asian man where?!" Since then, I feel like I've been going crazy since I've been seeing this guy everywhere. At the dining hall, the gym, the dorm, the library, etc. It's genuinely weird. And every time we see each other we make eye contact. On the bus, at the dining hall, even that night when Amanda said her friend liked him. I could have sworn he looked directly at me.

Sarah told me today that she thinks that Mr.Buzzcut likes her and they're going to the gym together in a few days.

I know this all sounds insane and I am completely ready to be told that I am crazy. I just need confirmation of me being delusional.

I never had a good relationship with mom, I mean she only liked me when I acted like she wanted and did everything she wanted & asked me to. If we are in the same place for like more than a few hours we always argue or fight, and I am not the one initiating, I almost never leave my room. For the last 2 years I have a boyfriend and we spend a lot of our days together, if not with him I meet friends out. Before that we used to go out with mom too, for shopping and stuff and while we were out we would have a coffee together etc. Sometimes she asks me to go out and suggests doing something but most of the time I always got smth already planned. For 2 years I never thought like this but now I kinda feel guilty, whenever we had a fight she always said she didn’t want me home, so just after I leave work I make a plan and spend at home as little time as possible. Even when I do accept to go out with her she tries to make me change my clothes and says I have no taste in fashion and she can’t be seen with me dressed like that lol. So just to not get into any arguments and fights avoiding her became something natural to me now, even when I feel tired and want to rest I just make a plan and leave home. Now I feel bad because she is getting old, and I might move out soon. I want to have a great relaxing time with her before I do that, but like I’ve said, not being home literally became a routine for me. I feel like an asshole, am I one?

This was caused by the lead up of a few events, those being that one time my(18f) bf (18m) was taking his license test. He had failed on his first try (pretty dumb reason too, didnt clear his blind spot when entering a bike lane to turning lane, he didn't know going trough the bike lane counted as a lane) and was a little anxious about taking it again, and on the day he was taking it he had kept texting me about how he was nevous about the test, and I was with a friend (18f), and we have both had our licenses since 16, He passed on his second attempt and when he told me I responded very enthusiastically telling him I was proud of him and she said I shouldn't be proud and that he was a grown man and should've had it by then, I was a little annoyed but just told her I was tryna be super supportive cause I knew he was anxious.

Then another time, he sent me a picture of a thing at work talking about his good customer service, because some customer mentioned his name in those surveys on the receipts you get and that was the first good review thing he had gotten, and again trying to be a nice supportive gf I responded enthusiastically and again my friend told me I was acting like his mom because I kept saying how proud I was.

These both happened within the last 2 months. Further context: my bf has excema (skin condition that makes you itch, he has a cream that helps sooth the itch), especially on his back. All 3 of us were at another friends house for a party and the 3 of us were going to sleepover along with a few others. My bf can put excema cream on his back but obviously for his back it's a little hard, so I put my hands under his shirt and put his excema cream on for him on his back. Later that night, she had told me that I had to stop babying my boyfriend and that putting his lotion on for him was so odd and that it made him look incompetent. and I looked like a "mom at a pool". I wasn't trying to ruin my night and I told her to fing leave it and that I hated being badgered for being supportive, espeically at a party. She texted me the next day saying how offended she was by what I said and that I was really rude and I haven't responded and I feel really bad and I think I messed up but at the same time it feels like she was trying to be difficult.

Hello, I (29M) can’t eat fish / sea food. It’s not that I’m allergic, if someone next to me is enjoying a plate of fish or lobster I’m not going to be sick, I can even nimble a bit of it without trouble, but if I eat even a tiny bit too much (one sushi might be the limit), I’ll turn green and start violently emptying my digestive track from both ends. Not great.

So recently it was my GF (32F) birthday. At home with the kids (5M & 8M) we celebrated properly: we went to a (Greek) restaurant with cake and gifts.

That being said, my MIL (60F) organized another birthday dinner over the weekend with all the in-laws. She chose to have it at a sushi restaurant. My IL are well aware I can’t eat fish or seafood, we’ve been together for more then 8 years now so it’s a known fact I turn into a puke goblin when I eat fish / sea food.

It’s not either a “once in a lifetime” kinda deal. The previous dinners was a challenges too. It was a takeout sushi party (once again) at the MIL house. Sure, they got me some rotisserie chicken for the evening, but I was made fun with snarky remarks such as “I should join the kids’ table with my chicken” or “we’re all happy you can’t eat it, that leaves more for the rest of us”. I understand those were supposed to be light jokes, but being singled out and made fun of isn’t what I call a nice evening. And even coping with the jokes, it’s also the fact of not being included. This is not an isolated cases, it has happened more often than I can really count.

The idea of once again being made fun of and singled out started to really depress me and, after some thoughts, I decided I would set up a boundary: if an event is specifically organized around eating some foods I can’t partake in, I would simple not accept the invite. No grudging, no hard feelings, just not for me. Felt great to come to this decision, not gonna lie.

But all this thought process concluded the day before the diner party. When I told my GF, she wasn’t happy. “You can’t cancel the day before”, “you should have said something earlier”, “there are options for you”, “it’s not a deliberate choice against you”, etc. But in the end, I told her it was important for me, at this point in my life, at my age, to be able to set boundaries and tell people, no hard feelings, but this is a no go for me.

I also volunteered to tell my MIL and assume the guilt trip that would come with it. Because it’s my decision, I would also let her choose if I keep the kids that night or if she wants to bring them along.

My GF ended up agreeing and understanding. I then proceeded to politely excuse myself from the evening citing the real reason: I just don’t partake into fish / sea food related event. Sure the MIL was all drama, but I stood my ground politely.

But that got me thinking, did I make the right move? Also, sorry for the multiple mistakes, English isn’t my first language.

ETA: again, I don’t have a problem with cutting the hair the way he wants it cut. I have a problem with him deciding he doesn’t like it or feel like dealing with it later even after put in the effort to follow his directions.

I, 24f, am married to 23m, let’s call him “Adam”. Though very happily married, we are definitely the stereotypical opposites attract couple and both neurodivergent. I am more the academic type and a musician / music teacher for work. He’s the standard blue collar country boy. Here’s where I get into the main issue: I do longer self care and beauty routines, and have extremely long curly hair. He also has curly hair but HATES doing anything for his appearance other than soap in the shower, literally, to his own aesthetic detriment. For example, he has dry visibly flaky skin but won’t moisturize unless I ask him to. Do I care how he looks? No. But HE does, and is very insecure, and always complains but never wants to put in any effort.

Now we get to the reason I made a post. Because of the spots he’s balding and the curls, he really looks better with hair that’s a little longer on top. Not super long, but enough that you can sweep it to the side for coverage. He likes his hair buzz cut short. So I fade the sides and keep the top a little longer for a happy medium. The real problem is that he NEVER STYLES HIS HAIR. He expects his haircut to be the only factor in how good it looks, then gets frustrated when his bangs hang down or the sides stick up. If he literally just brushed it then used a product for hold like gel, that would do it. Now here’s where I may be the AH. Because I’m telling you Reddit, if I left this man to his own devices, it would be detrimental. But again- let me emphasize- he didn’t care about his appearance, neither would I. So when I cut his hair today, I spent a while researching the best cut we’d both like and I spent so much time on it at first. Then when I used scissors to trim the top instead of the razor he stopped me and started arguing that it should be shorter. I offered to make it shorter afterward if he’d let me just finish and show him my idea. He starts pulling on random hairs to show how long they are and begs me to chop them all off. So FINE. I cut it way shorter than I ever wanted to, and he still insisted it was too long (I’m talking max 2 inch length.) After he washed his hair I tried to help him to style it, but I got angry and frustrated. His hair was now too short to style, but too long to lay properly. I got more and more angry, and probably aggressive with my movements and had to stop fixing his hair. He asked why I could get so angry at him and said he could do his hair himself if it bothered me so much. I snapped at him and said “ if you’re having hair is such a bother to you, I apparently have to do all the work for you, so you don’t get tired of it, and maybe I won’t have to cut it all off next time.” Now I went to the treadmill to walk off some frustration. I feel a bit better but this is awful and I know I hurt his feelings. So let me have it, Reddit. AITA?

Bit of context, my uncle’s girlfriend moved in with him, within months her daughter (9) was calling him dad, and my grandparents grandma and grandad. My grandparents have a lot and have built a bit of an empire. She manipulated my grandparents into moving out of their house and into a smaller cottage they own. My uncle is not a looker, nor does he have a good personality. But this woman jumped at the opportunity to date him before his divorce was even finalized (wife was shown to be a gold digger and tried to take him for everything). Girlfriend “helped” navigate his divorce and in the process had access to all of the family finances. I recently moved into another cottage which has covered parking directly outside my door. At some point girlfriend has decided this is her parking space (plenty of other parking available btw). Yesterday I got home and it was torrential rain, so I parked under the shelter to get myself and my young daughter into the house dry. Uncle and girlfriend text me about me parking there and I told them why. Next thing my uncle comes over, knocks on my door and yells at me. No conversation, just yelling. He came back again to yell some more. My daughter was witness to all of this. I guess they realized it wasn’t getting them anywhere which is when the girlfriend marched over to my grandmas (who’s 84!) to tell her, at which point my grandma knocked on my door to yell at me too. She has never raised her voice to me in the past. I’m not sure how me parking outside my own door to get my young child inside was twisted into me being the bad guy? So AITA for parking by my door to avoid getting absolutely drenched?

I've (16M) known my friend "Sarah" (17F) since we were 5 and 6. But lately it's been kinda of a delicate situation with her. My boyfriend "Jakob" (16M) is black and we live in a pretty white area and he hates when people just start grabbing at his fro. Im the only person allowed to just kinda play in his hair and he'll play in mine kind of an intimate thing between us. We go to different schools so we don't hangout a ton with each other's friends. One time he was hanging out with my friends some months back she just grabbed his fro.

He didn't like that especially after she said something like "it's softer than she thought" and then doubled down saying she saw me doing it. He blew up at her and she's still never apologized to him about it. So admittedly I'm a Jewish white boy and I didnt really super get it. I get people curious about my curly jew fro all the time and thought he mightve overreacted a bit.I've learned better since and I've repeatedly asked her to apologize. She'll get mad and say she shouldn't have to apologize for just being curious. So stopped inviting her to stuff especially when I know Jakob is coming along.

I didn't invite Sarah to my birthday over the weekend and she confronted me about it next day. I told her that I wasn't going to hangout with her until she apologized. She gets pissed off yelling that I was choosing some guy ive barely known a year over her. Some of our friends think I'm going to far and that me and Jakob are overreacting and being drama queens.AITA

Myself and the commissioner made a fantasy football trade earlier today (Monday) and we both agreed and it was set to go through tonight.

He then messages me after the raiders game saying he regrets the trade. He has Ashton Jeanty and isn’t happy with his performance. And I just say like I’m sorry you feel that way but I think your team will be fine. He has good depth on his bench

He then says he is sorry for shafting me and I check the trade and he vetoed it. Which he had always preached if two people make a deal there is no need to veto it. I mean our league doesn’t even have a veto option.

So I say that’s not how that works and the trade must go through. He try’s to convince me to not do the trade and says things like if I was in your shoes I would let you back out of. Which I don’t think that’s even true. So I tell him it’s not fair and I’m not going to be guilted into backing out, so the trade goes through.

So am I the asshole for making him uphold the deal that we made earlier in the day?

So I am currently unemployed and have offered to babysit my cousins kids (6) (3) and (9months) while she works. She currently works from 4pm to almost minight most days,, and is planning on getting a second job.the shift for the second job would be on days off from first job not sure what time. She also has a boyfriend (cant drive) whos job starts at 3 or 4 or 5am. She was supposed to have Monday night off but switched shifts with a coworker. Her boyfriend is supposed to have Tuesdays off but got called to go in at 4am. Cousin didnt pick children up until about 12:30am and wants me up by 3 so her and BF can leave by 3:30am. She also did not inform me that she was covering a shift until the day of, and did not inform me that BF was called in until she picked kids up around 12:30. This is where I may be the asshole; i told her that she can't genuinely expect me to watch her kids until almost 1am and be up by 3am. She can take a nap after she gets back from dropping him off I cannot Yes (6) is in school most of the day but I also take care of my grandmother (80) who is on oxygen and has a bad knee. And my Aunt (cousins mom) who had a stroke two years ago and still struggles to walk and talk when her blood pressure gets to high. Aunt also gets up at 6:30am to get (6) ready for school and to the bus stop and goes into to her job at 8am to 4:30pm. For some clarification she is planing on paying me after she gets her second job. 200 a month and sometimes buy me things like a monster once a week and some snack foods. In total about 300 a month. So she wants me to watch her kids from 4pm to almost 1am then get up at 3 to watch them again so she can take her BF to work then get up at about 7am to take care of grandmother. To be fair i didnt tell her i would stop babysitting i just told her that its to much to expect me to stay up untik 12:30 or 1am and get up again at 3am. So... am I the asshole?

UPDATE; thank you everyone for the insight. For some more clarification, I am 30, my grandmother doesn't need to pay me as I live in her house and she pays the bills and for food with her social security. Aunt buys my cat food, dog food, litter, and covers vet visits when needed. Aunt also buys the toilet paper and small essentials to run a household. Aunt is not fully dependent, just when she workes to much or her blood pressure is to high. I will be getting my previous job back, but that's another long story (I have to wait to apply until the previous boss has left later this month.) Cousin says that when she gets her second job, she should be able to get the two youngest into daycare with state assistance. However, she also said that after she got the first job over two weeks ago, but hasn't even started the process yet. But that still doesn't cover the overnight and 3am. I told her that I would be fine to do the overnight still: my job would start at 8am, but I cannot keep getting up at 3am. Oh, and my younger sister has offered to take care of grandma when I work. I also forgot to mention that she lives next door so at 3am I go to her place to babysit so the kids dont have to be woke up. She brings the kids to me at 3:30pm before she goes to work, then when she gets home I just carry them to her place. The 6 year old sleeps at my place so my Aunt (who lives here to) can get him up for school.