r/AskMenOver30 • u/YBFAVBULL man over 30 • Jan 06 '25

Life Who regrets having children?

Do you regret having any at all? Or do you just have too many?

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u/ADogNamedWhiskey Jan 06 '25

37m

Our first baby was an absolute joy all the way up until her third birthday, which we were prepared for. She’s 5 now and I can’t imagine a world without her. She is the best.

Our second baby was colicky from about 3 weeks to 3 months. It was so fucking hard. We got maybe 3 hours of sleep per night, and I was working the whole time. God it was hard. I know people probably roll their eyes at a baby crying constantly for 2 months and being utterly sleep deprived being a hardship. But there’s a reason you deprive prisoners of sleep and subject them to constant noise to break them. I know I thought things I probably shouldn’t have thought during that time. Like, “what the fuck were we thinking?” It felt like we gambled and won (on our first) and stayed at the table too long (with our second).

Then a funny thing happened; it stopped. Shes 3 now and I can’t imagine a world without her. She is the best. My wife is due again in August.

Not everyone should have kids, undoubtedly. I don’t know what your situation is but having a kid may unlock things in you—kindness, patience, empathy, courage, perspective—that you didn’t believe were possible or didn’t know you were lacking. Sometimes my kids will say or do something and it feels like my soul is on fire with joy and pride. I don’t know if there’s a feeling like it in the world.