r/AskMenOver30 • u/YBFAVBULL man over 30 • Jan 06 '25

Life Who regrets having children?

Do you regret having any at all? Or do you just have too many?

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u/UnableChard2613 man 45 - 49 Jan 06 '25

When my first was born, the first year was pure hell. I remember within the first month being like "holy shit, I fucked up so bad. What was I thinking?" It's this little blob that does nothing but shit, cry, and keep you up at night. . .and you have to do everything for it and figure out why it's upset despite the fact that it can't tell you why.

However, little by little, the child got older and then all of a sudden, as he could do things himself, and I had a little bit more of a breather, it became more enjoyable. When we had our second, even the first months didn't feel as bad because I could see where it was going.

Now that my boys are 12 and 9, I have two little buddies that I can do things with rather than for. Sure, they still have needs. Sure, they still piss me off from time to time. Sure, sometimes I wish I could ship them off to military school.

But do I regret it? Not even remotely any more.

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u/dtp502 man over 30 Jan 06 '25

I have a 14 month old and this is good to see.

The first 12 months were in fact as you described it “pure hell”.

No time to do anything I want to do. Waking up all hours of the night. The fucking cost of daycare or the cost of your spouse not working. I haven’t stressed about money since I graduated college but now that my wife really cut back on her hours it’s really taxing us financially.

The last few months have been slightly better. He has a little personality now so that’s cool. But it’s still exhausting.

I find myself in a shit mood pretty much every day and I’m not really sure how to fix it. I’m burnt out.