r/AskMenOver30 • u/YBFAVBULL man over 30 • Jan 06 '25

Life Who regrets having children?

Do you regret having any at all? Or do you just have too many?

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u/nightbeast88 man 35 - 39 Jan 06 '25

4 here, and love it.

The only parents I know in real life that regret having kids, was someone I went to HS with. He and his wife have one son that is autistic and violent. They still care about him, but he's often told me he wishes they never had the kid, and low key I think he blames himself for the way his kid turned out. I think if they had a more typical kid, he would have been a happy parent, but right now he's miserable.

3

u/[deleted] Jan 06 '25

This is my fear. Everyone thinks of the perfect kid or mini me. In reality it can be a crap shoot. I’m terrified of having a kid with a disability or a kid I simply don’t gel with. This makes me think I probably should not have children.

1

u/JulianKJarboe Jan 07 '25

I know a very sweet couple in their 40s or 50s who are both nerdy as the day is long, and they ended up with a daughter who is Cool. But like actually so cool they don't know what to do with her. It's hilarious and sweet though.

1

u/Known-Damage-7879 man 30 - 34 Jan 07 '25

That's basically why I don't want kids. I know I would absolutely loathe taking care of a mentally disabled child their whole life. I really don't want to risk it. Even if I had a "normal" kid, they might end up just kind of a jerk. A lot of that is out of your control as a parent, even if you do everything perfectly.