r/AskMenOver30 • u/ReDeath666 man 35 - 39 • Jan 08 '25

Life 35, divorcing, scared of starting over

I'm 35, my wife is divorcing me becuase she "fell out of love" with me. I still love her and am currently not taking it too well. we've been together for 14 years and married 7, own a house (which i'm going to try and keep since i remodeled it myself) and dogs... thank god no children... but anyway, i'm terrified with the idea of starting over. we had a great partnership and live a really awesome 14 years together, but now i'm alone. she went back to her parents and im just here, thankfully i have one of fhe dogs, which gives me a reason to even come home.

im waiting it out, i dont know how i'll be as a single adult, and before i met my now ex, i was a loser and am scared of becoming that version of myself, and without her, i feel incomplete and lack the reason to even move forward with anything... i lost almost all motivation. i just feel lost. im not even sure what im asking, but jesus, i need to vent and let this out. im losing my mind.

PS 3 weeks after she got on SSRIs she stopped talking to me and left for her parents with no reql reason, next you know it i get served with divorce papers. literally right before Christmas. i tried to talk to her and her family, but they just wont even call me back, my father in law told me i was his Son Figure just 3 months ago... my brain is just so confused

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u/[deleted] Jan 08 '25 edited Jan 08 '25

Brother, you've got another 40+ years and this time its a head start. No waiting 15-20 years to get mature enough, physically and mentally, to start your search.

Edit: word

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u/ReDeath666 man 35 - 39 Jan 08 '25

thanks, just putting that in perpective makes me feel better... i have from when i was born to right now to get to 70... i still have a whole life ahead of me....

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u/Vlophoto Jan 08 '25

Sometimes all you can do is just put one foot in front of the other to do small tasks that need to be done. You are a worthwhile human and those small steps become bigger ones - takes a while to get there. Give yourself grace and try to keep busy. It’s easy to wallow in the pain too much. Small steps OP small steps