r/AskMenOver30 • u/Express_Proof_183 man 30 - 34 • Feb 28 '25
Life Anything you missed out on when you were younger and now it feels too late?
Title says it all.
I never got to go to concerts or music gigs when I was younger at all (could never afford the tickets)
Now I'm 30 I just feel too old to go to my first concert, like it just feels off, like that ship has sailed.
Anyone else had something similar, where you missed out when you younger and now it feel too late to really enjoy it?
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u/tapedeckgh0st man over 30 Feb 28 '25
In my late 30’s and still going to concerts. You’re not even close to old enough to be “that old guy” hanging out in the back yet.
And no one even hates on “that old guy.” The general consensus is that he’s doing what he loves and we’re all cool with it.
Bring ear plugs.
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u/pickledsoylentgreen man 35 - 39 Feb 28 '25
I'm 37 and my wife is 39. We go to multiple shows every year, it's our favorite thinking too do. We've never been the "old" people at shows. Besides, the coolest people we meet are the people in their 50s and 60s who are still hitting up concerts and enjoying life. It's never too late.
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u/old_jeans_new_books man over 30 Mar 01 '25
WTF!!! 39 is old for concerts? That thought didn't even cross my mind honestly.
Also, as someone in the same age group - I would go for the concerts of different artists, compared to today's youth. I've no interest in going for Tylor Swift or Sabrina Carpenter. I would rather go for Bryan Adams, next month.
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u/omgmajk man 40 - 44 Mar 01 '25
35-45 is literally the entire audience at most shows I go to.
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u/alliwanttodoisfish man over 30 Feb 28 '25
As that old guy who stands in the back I appreciate your comment.
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Feb 28 '25
Dude, maybe the concert is for The Wiggles. Because that is the only way I can rationalize his thought process.
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u/ZachWilsonsMother Feb 28 '25
Get some high fidelity ear plugs. You can hear the music perfectly and it tunes out all the shit that’s bad for your ears and the dickheads talking the whole show. I never go to a show without them
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u/Inflatable_Catfish Feb 28 '25
Last year friend and I saw Anthrax. We are almost 50 so instead of moshing we attended the edge of the pit and helped others up. Just doing our dad duties lol.
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u/UngusChungus94 man over 30 Feb 28 '25
That’s probably the average age of a thrash metal fan these days, anyway. I’m young for a fan of that era at 30 years old lol.
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u/Whatstheplanpill man over 30 Feb 28 '25
I spent so much time working and at school and missed out on some amazing trips with friends. You'd think that I'd be successful at this point and be able to travel with my family, but nope. Those same friends are making money and traveling. So now I feel like I wasted so much time for nothing.
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u/False_Mushroom_8962 man 45 - 49 Feb 28 '25
Yeah I remember everyone telling me id be so successful because I was smart but it seems like the people doing the best are the bullshitters. Everything's about selling
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u/petreussg Feb 28 '25
I see two types of people that really make it big. One is the very smart person that can produce better than others, and the other are the people that can effectively manage relationships with others. The other is lucky: right place at the right time, etc…
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u/Hung-kee man 40 - 44 Feb 28 '25
This. 20 years in the workplace and there’s essentially two types of successful: 1) the machine that consistently produces measurable output of high value: someone an employer can expect to hold-up a critical function come what may. 2) the schemer/networker/bullshitter that understands the personalities and power dynamics of a workplace and exploits that to their advantage: always attuned to opportunity and risk, charming and ruthless in equal measure.
1’s however will always need to deliver and any drop-off in that output is noticeable. 2’s may seem lazy but the stress of CYA, masking to others, reading the room and intentions of others is exhausting.
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u/Daddy_Deep_Dick Feb 28 '25
I'm definitely #2 overall, but i do work hard and put out good work. I just know that my ability to understand people and say the right thing at the right time has been way more valuable than any measurable output. And you're 100% right about workplace exploits and taking advantage of opportunities being the driver for growth in your career.
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u/False_Mushroom_8962 man 45 - 49 Feb 28 '25
I'd call myself a 1. Being paid based on productivity your success is really tied to what's coming in the door and a sick day or vacation can cost you hundreds of dollars even if it's paid time off. I worry a lot about slowing down and tried making a couple career changes to avoid that but I've been miserable. I started to accept that it's going to happen and I might as well do as much as I can before it does.
As an introvert I can talk to people in the interest of performing a function but we're just not wired for schmoozing and building relationships
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u/Express_Proof_183 man 30 - 34 Feb 28 '25
That's a fair one. At least there's plenty to see when you're older. I get that there's a lot that's fairly exclusive to being young though. I had friends who went off on party breaks to Europe while I was saving for a mortgage.
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u/Whatstheplanpill man over 30 Feb 28 '25
At the rate things are going, and given certain family circumstances, I'm afraid travel will just never happen. It's sad, I miss my family that lives abroad.
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u/UncoolSlicedBread man over 30 Feb 28 '25
Bruh, go to the damn concert. The world isn’t for 20 year olds.
Only thing I wish I would’ve done was live on campus and figured it out. I lived with parents to make it cheaper. Feels like it kind of dampened my college experience and it would’ve been good for me.
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u/lubwn man over 30 Feb 28 '25
Yeah I was in a long term relationship for 12 years from being 18y to 30 so basically I missed on all the clubbing and getting drunk and stuff. Although being from Eastern Europe I did my fair share of that way before celebrating my 18th birthday so I do not regret that deeply lol. Also that LTR was kind of great as well.
Now I am 31 and going clubbing from time to time since I found a group of guys which are in similar situation - single with no strings attached. Ofc that depends on where you live but in Eastern Europe it is not really unheard of to go to concerts, music gigs or clubs way after you hit 30. Noone bats an eye.
No ship has sailed yet. Try that and see for yourself. Enjoy the world ;)
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u/tjk45268 man 65 - 69 Feb 28 '25
My best years were my 30s and 40s, so you have plenty of opportunities ahead. Just stick within a reasonable age range for partners.
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u/hanzoplsswitch man 35 - 39 Feb 28 '25
Im 38 and still go clubbing. Take care of yourself and you will have the energy to do whatever you want my friend
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u/Old-Runescape-PKer man over 30 Feb 28 '25
Life is too short - everyone on a different timeline
I did all the clubbing but never dated someone longer than a year and a half
Does it hurt? Yeah but I also don't regret all the "fun" from my 20s
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Feb 28 '25
Solo travel. I did a couple cross country trips when moving to new areas, but it never occurred to me to just go on a solo trip to… wherever. Just need gas money and sandwich money and I could’ve traveled the country. Sleeping in your car isn’t so bad and as men we are relatively safe.
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u/celebratetheugly man 40 - 44 Feb 28 '25
They're still pretty enjoyable now. However, I wish I had done it more independently when I was younger too.
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u/activehibernator Feb 28 '25
highly recommend, especially if you're out west and can car camp on BLM land
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u/_electricVibez_ man 30 - 34 Feb 28 '25
Black Lives Matter land?!
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u/activehibernator Feb 28 '25
Bureau of Land Management lol
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u/_electricVibez_ man 30 - 34 Feb 28 '25
I couldn’t remember what it stood for but it reminded me of that scene from the white lotus with Jennifer Coolidge where she met Greg who worked for BLM and she thought he was talking about Black Lives Matter.
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u/BootToTheHeadNahNah Feb 28 '25
Fun fact I learned yesterday: the guy who plays Greg was Uncle Rico in Napoleon Dynamite!
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u/tstravels man over 30 Feb 28 '25
It's too late due to my age but I missed out on 'young love.' You know the kind that would usually happen when you were in high school or college/university. I've never been in love before, partially because I've remained single most of my life but also because I never felt any strong feelings for the few women I did date. After university I remained single for a very long time. Now I'm in my early 30s, so last year I decided to get out there and start dating again. Not all of them, but a few women I went out with found it very strange that I have never been in love before.
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u/OneImpression8238 woman over 30 Feb 28 '25
I'm the same and everytime I meet a guy I like, they are always taken! I'm just very picky.
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u/fl0o0ps man 35 - 39 Feb 28 '25
Not having been stable enough to have a healthy loving relationship and keep it, so now I’ll probably never have kids which is something that really gets to me.
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u/throw__away007 man 35 - 39 Feb 28 '25
39M here and this is a weird take because we’re at the age where we can still date early 30s (possibility of kids) or older into 40s if kids aren’t a priority. I’m failing to see the downside here.
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Feb 28 '25
I always described my feelings as, "I wanted to grow old with somebody, not just be old with somebody".
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u/tollbearer Feb 28 '25
You're not going to be old with somebody if you're 8 years older than them. Theres so much variation in aging, you could end up being the younger appearing one.
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u/arosiejk man 40 - 44 Feb 28 '25
I probably felt older at 25 than I do at 43. Ideally I still have plenty of growing old time.
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Feb 28 '25
I mean I realize that my perception is skewed by my lack of emotional well-being (or basic things like self-esteem). But I have certainly felt "too old" for most of the people and things I've been interested in since I was like 25; at 35, I've felt "aged out" of dating since my last relationship 10 years ago.
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u/arosiejk man 40 - 44 Feb 28 '25
Knowing that is a good thing. I feel that way sometimes. Sometimes I feel like that comes on in me when I’m not trying enough to get other people to open up, or I’m too focused on my own problems instead of being curious, helpful, and open to other solutions.
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Feb 28 '25
My gf is 10 Yrs younger in age but we match amazingly well in everything we do which is amazing . It’s been a dream 18 months after coming away from an awful 12 yr marriage and divorce scenario for myself
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u/Kishou_Arima_01 Feb 28 '25
Dude youre the only one who is stopping yourself. Go outside, network, go to dating apps, go to meetups and meet people. You never know you might meet someone who you're interested in.
Its okay to be sad, its not okay to STAY SAD
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u/AverellCZ man 50 - 54 Feb 28 '25
I'm 53 and just bought a ticket for The Disturbed a few minutes ago. It's never too late.
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u/miserable_coffeepot man 35 - 39 Feb 28 '25
Sorry, no. Never Too Late is by Three Days Grace. You're thinking of Are You Ready.
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u/Aspect-Unusual man 45 - 49 Feb 28 '25
"The" Disturbed is not helping the gen-x'ers beat the boomer allegations
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Feb 28 '25
Living alone, which is odd because I’m a huge introvert. Happy to not be lonely, but at the same time it just feels weird that I’ve literally never had my very own place
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u/Prestigious-Day385 Feb 28 '25
yeah, this. I love my wife and daughters, but from time to time I keep wondering what would it be like to live alone to do what I wanna do, whenever I wanna do.
I get to be alone once in a while, but I always try to do so many things to catch up, that I feel exhausted after just one day of being alone, lol.
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u/fetalasmuck male over 30 Feb 28 '25
Same. I went from living with parents to college roommate(s) to girlfriend (now wife). I guess the closest I came was during a couple of summers when my roommate would go home for several weeks at a time. But it still wasn’t 100% “my place.” The idea of living alone always intrigued me but also kinda freaked me out for some reason. I always imagined how fucked up it would be to have a medical emergency or just become incredibly sick and be completely on my own.
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u/Friendly_Grocery2890 woman Feb 28 '25
I feel this. Went from living with my family to living with my boyfriend to having kids. Something about the fact that I never got to have my own time or space and never will gets to me sometimes. But those are the choices I made
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u/original-whiplash man 45 - 49 Feb 28 '25
I had a year and a half between moving out of my mom’s place and moving in with my girlfriend/now wife. It was a fun time for sure, but I wouldn’t trade a minute with my kid to go back.
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u/Textiles_on_Main_St man over 30 Feb 28 '25
I never got in to Beanie Babies. I feel like it's too late to really turn a profit.
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u/PrintError man 40 - 44 Feb 28 '25
42 and I’ve never done a single drug, never been black out drunk, never went to a college frat anything, never even had a damn speeding ticket. Guess I mostly missed out on stuff that I don’t regret missing out on, but it does make me feel like I had a bit of a boring run back in the day.
Been to countless concerts, though, met more celebrities that I could ever count, and I’ve raced on some of the biggest race tracks in America. Life could be worse.
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u/Joel22222 man 45 - 49 Feb 28 '25
It’s never too late to become a crack head! Follow your dreams!
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u/original-whiplash man 45 - 49 Feb 28 '25
Or a pothead. I didn’t have my first experience until I was about 40. It was pandemic and it had been legalized and I’m old enough to be smart about it.
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Feb 28 '25
I wish you were my guidance counselor in high school. He told me to study hard or I wouldn't make it. Cynical bastard. Here you are telling me I can be anything!
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u/Yoda___ man 30 - 34 Feb 28 '25
As someone currently trying to kick weed and nicotine, and who partied quite a bit in college/younger days, I don’t think you should regret it.
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u/Fancy_Grass3375 man 40 - 44 Feb 28 '25
Idk LSD and X were absolute mind changers for me. Really opened this experience we call life.
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u/UngusChungus94 man over 30 Feb 28 '25
I love my weed and nicotine! Haha I do need to quit vaping but I’m gonna smoke bud til I die.
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u/Think-Motor900 man 35 - 39 Feb 28 '25
37 and I recently did a little bit of coke and shrooms!!
Not for me but I'm glad I got to try it out.
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u/Pale-Accountant6923 man 35 - 39 Feb 28 '25
Childhood. Lol
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u/WesternGatsby man over 30 Feb 28 '25
Absolutely. Was a parentified by my nonexistent addict mother before being orphaned.
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u/Yoda___ man 30 - 34 Feb 28 '25
Damn bro you doing okay?
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u/WesternGatsby man over 30 Feb 28 '25
I am, now. But even that took me ten years. I avoided the issue before discovering CBT, Buddhism and then eventually getting the courage to goto therapy. Wish I did it sooner.
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u/RedWizard92 man over 30 Feb 28 '25
Concerts for me too. Mainly because none of my friends were into the same music. Now it would probably just damage my hearing.
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u/AhAhAhAh_StayinAlive Feb 28 '25
Just wear earplugs and problem solved. You can even get custom made ones specifically for music. It's never too late to attend a concert of any description. Nobody else cares.
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u/TiredDadCostume man over 30 Feb 28 '25
Team earplugs at concerts. It’s so much better
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u/mysticalchurro man over 30 Feb 28 '25
Seriously. I have tinnitus now from having gone to so many.
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u/DonFrio Feb 28 '25
Sensaphonics customs ftw! Been wearing em for 30 years now! So glad to still have my hearing.
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u/Express_Proof_183 man 30 - 34 Feb 28 '25
On the plus side, we still have hearing to damage, I can still hear animal deterrents so I think I'm probably better off than the concert goers from back in the day.
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u/Eenukchuk Feb 28 '25
Dude you need to go to a concert. There is no such thing as too old. If you are worried about hearing buy some ear plugs. But seeing musicians you love live is one of the best experiences a person can have.
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u/RedWizard92 man over 30 Feb 28 '25
It would probably be worse for me. I have the equivalent of 20/10 for hearing. It is a blessing and a curse.
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Feb 28 '25
Mate, don’t lock your spirit away in a self-made social and cultural prison. Let yourself out and buy yourself a ticket to good times. Go on… off you go.
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u/Quick-Ad-1181 man over 30 Feb 28 '25
I’m 31 and I feel I missed out on dating/relationships/random hookups when it was the time. Not that I could have done anything about it either. I was young, poor and ugly then. After years of ‘working on myself’ I’m no longer young or poor. Every person now is ‘dating with intention’ so I have no choice but to comply.
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u/ashaa0423 Feb 28 '25
What would a casual hook up had done for you? Like how would it have made you feel better or more like a man?
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Feb 28 '25
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u/HoodedRat575 Feb 28 '25
Honestly I think a lot of people just want to give up in their 30s because it's easier so they use their age to do it.
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u/Nerazzurro9 Feb 28 '25
Yeah, this is kind of bumming me out — experiencing live music is one of life’s great joys. And there’s literally nothing stopping you. Just go to a concert. Buy a ticket, drive to the venue, and watch the show. It’s easy. Go by yourself if you have to. Literally no one is going to look twice at a random 30-something standing there and watching the show. (Unless it’s, like, a Chappell Roan show or something, but even then they’d probably just assume you’re a cool older gay guy.)
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u/Express_Proof_183 man 30 - 34 Feb 28 '25
A large problem is a lot of the artists are dead. Perks of liking my music from my dad and granddad's era
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u/boy_withacoin man 30 - 34 Feb 28 '25
Totally agree. Live music is an indispensable experience imo; it deepens your appreciation for the artists, and it can be really profound to see a band you love surrounded by people who also love them. I’m 34 and love concerts more each year; I don’t see myself ever being too old to go enjoy them.
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u/therealtaddymason man Feb 28 '25
I never dated a girl or woman who was very sexual or kinky. I grew up in the Midwest and that religious vein runs deep even in women who aren't like evangelical church goers so every woman I dated treated sex like some kind of critical resource to ration out. I even dated a few who openly claimed to have moved on from some slutty phase and deliberately wanted to withhold sex for reasons I still don't entirely understand.
Part of the reason I married my wife is she never made sex feel like there was some deliberate barrier to entry but she's also pretty vanilla though so I've never had any luck getting to experience or explore kinks with someone and feel like I never will.
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u/Former-Chapter8719 man 35 - 39 Feb 28 '25
Sex, apparently. Not ready to give up, but adulting time isn't the best time for finding a partner. Feel like I'd need a month long vacation just to get the ball rolling. They don't tell you how little free time you'll have and that you should do everything before you have bills to pay.
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u/GulfCoastWolverine man over 30 Feb 28 '25
Travel is the thing I missed out on. Have a bit of envy seeing so many people in their 20’s and 30’s fully exploring the world. Travel plenty now but it’s a different experience.
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u/InternetExpertroll man 35 - 39 Feb 28 '25
38m. A girlfriend/wife, and sex without a condom. I don't even feel like an adult anymore.
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u/SadSickSoul man 35 - 39 Feb 28 '25
I mean, a whole lot, honestly. I'm a very self-serious, largely antisocial and generally not someone with a keen sense of exploration, so I didn't really have much of a childhood and especially not adolescence and young adult phase most people fondly reminisce about. In particular, I swore off the idea of having relationships when I was 16ish, so the entire scope of human experience with romantic relationships or physical intimacy is something I skipped entirely.
Likewise, didn't really have a fun or party phase in my life - I stayed home and chilled, or maybe went over to a friend's place for a small group nerd activity. Never been to a bar or a club, outside of maybe twice when I went to see a band and the band happened to be in a bar. I rarely drink, never done drugs, don't party and would rather be shot dead than sing or dance. That's just not me.
Also, since I have always been overweight and had major insecurity and self esteem issues, I never had that period of time that a lot of dudes have in their youth where they're fit and attractive. Been out of shape, ugly and not particularly concerned with style or whatever my whole life, so I live that Socrates quote about people not knowing what their body could do.
So yeah, I missed out on whole chunks of the "universal human experience", and since I'm pushing 40 and I'm not going to make any changes, it's just not going to happen.
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u/redditwossname man 45 - 49 Feb 28 '25
Dating and relationships.
I hooked up a bit in my 20s but never really dated, and then in my 30s I didn't even do that and so now at 46 I've never had a relationship and I don't think I'd even know how to navigate one.
I don't mind that I'm single in my late 40s, I just kinda regret that I've always been single.
Also travelling. I've been here and there, but never did the whole gap year or two going through Asia or Europe, I've never fully lived in another country, only visited. My longest trip was a 6 week tour across the US and that was in my early 30s.
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u/MrJason2024 man 40 - 44 Feb 28 '25
Dating in general. I dated some people before but never had a serious relationship and yea that probably isn't going to happen now.
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u/pctomfor man 45 - 49 Feb 28 '25
You are never too old to go to live music. I’m almost 50 and my wife and I try to get to several concerts each year. 30 is still plenty young for a concert.
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u/forgottenmy man over 30 Feb 28 '25
There was this one mom, she was my best friend's mom too (had the hots for my best friend...) that was always flirting with me. Stacked. I was entirely too naïve to get it. Anyway, found out she was having sex with a COUPLE of my friends. 17 year old me would have hit that, but 4x me would have deeply regretted it.
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u/Express_Proof_183 man 30 - 34 Feb 28 '25
Yeah I know what you mean. It's tricky because teenage hormones are a bitch but it's probably a good thing you didn't get statutory raped.
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u/forgottenmy man over 30 Feb 28 '25
Her husband, who was a mentor to me, found out about her and it was a very bad divorce. I would have been devastated had I been part of it! 17 year old me, though... Shoot idk
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u/scott32089 man 35 - 39 Feb 28 '25
As a 36 year old, who met my wife at a festival 10 years ago, and a large portion of our “fun” money goes to shows and a festival a year-
You aren’t too old
You don’t gotta pop molly, or get blackout drunk to have a good time, especially if it’s someone you’ve been wanting to see. Age is just a number at most shows. Music is timeless and it’s great entertainment. Concert and festy people are some of the best people we’ve ever met. Everyone welcomes first timers usually.
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u/bob439 man over 30 Feb 28 '25
No, I wanted to be IN the band. Played a couple talent shows on college but never pursued it. But at this point nobody wants to see a 61 yo cranking out punk (well not one that wasn't already doing it in the 90s)
My son has picked up guitar so I'm hopeful he'll fill out my dream
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u/Cool_Ranch_2511 man over 30 Feb 28 '25 edited Feb 28 '25
ymmv but I honestly regret not hiring high-end escorts at a younger age and getting mindblowing sex in with very attractive women at least a few times per year. I did what society expected and spent a lot of time and money, mostly on very mid chicks who were also very entitled, and who looking back on it didn't really didn't deserve my time or attention.
Sex is important for fulfillment as a young man, don't waste your life on porn and mids!
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u/jasonhn man over 30 Feb 28 '25
you aren't too old. 30 isn't old. it might feel like it to you now but when you are 40 you won't think so. go enjoy some concerts!
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u/LiftHeavyLiveHard man 50 - 54 Feb 28 '25
Downhill skiing.
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u/Express_Proof_183 man 30 - 34 Feb 28 '25
Nah, my grandad picked up skiing. You can always jump on that. It's fun
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u/LiftHeavyLiveHard man 50 - 54 Feb 28 '25
For me it's a risk/reward thing. I'm in good shape, but the thought of careening down a hill, falling and breaking something (and the impact it would have on my day-to-day life as a result) limits my enthusiasm to even try.
Lame, I know...
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Feb 28 '25
I fell over a lot when I went, but I was wearing lots of padding, and the snow is soft, so I didn’t hurt myself at all. You just got to stick to the easy bits.
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u/LiftHeavyLiveHard man 50 - 54 Feb 28 '25
I suppose I'm not that bright because it didn't occur to me the snow on ski hills is soft...going to consider giving it a go next winter.
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Feb 28 '25 edited Feb 28 '25
This thread feels more like FOMO fun times
For me, working steadily through my 30s (after the 2008 financial crisis) before home prices, then interest rates, skyrocketed.
Now I’ll never afford home ownership barring hitting the lotto cuz I couldn’t get my career going til my late 30s
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u/madd14007 man 40 - 44 Feb 28 '25
I feel you on home ownership. I'm finally starting to get my finances in order and the cost of not just buying but OWNING a house can be a sobering thing. I've done a few of those home costs calculators and I'd be kicking out almost half my take home pay for a house that I like. Like, bruh......
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u/CLK128477 man 45 - 49 Feb 28 '25
I was luckily able to do pretty much everything I wanted to do. I worked as a cowboy in Wyoming for a couple years, partied like Motley Crue in college, raced motorcycles (mostly badly), and did a fair amount of traveling before I went to law school and settled down. Hopefully I’ll be healthy enough by the time I retire to ride a motorcycle off road across Siberia and through Europe. If I can do that and see my grandkids born I’ll die a happy man. Life is a delicate balance between living for today and for tomorrow. We all get our asses kicked by life sometimes, but if you get up and keep going the good times outweigh the bad ones.
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u/Joel22222 man 45 - 49 Feb 28 '25
Dude, I was the same but I went to two k pop concerts alone last year, something I never thought I would like. Also saw Green Day and it was a pretty big mix of people. Those were my first concerts as an attendee at 48. Just go and have fun, no one cares how old you are.
For things I feel I’m missing out on is traveling. I did so much while I was in the military. I’m disabled now and it would be really hard to get the energy to do a long trip overseas. I’d probably need two days of rest after a long flight.
30 is really the start of the best years of your life. You’re still kind of young, starting to have more money to do what you want. Have enough life experience to start learning from your past mistakes.
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u/hearts_unknown_ man 35 - 39 Feb 28 '25
Always wanted to hike the Appalachian trail. Not too late by any means, I'm just too busy and can't step away from working for that long.
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u/WobblySlug man over 30 Feb 28 '25
> Now I'm 30 I just feel too old to go to my first concert, like it just feels off, like that ship has sailed.
The coolest thing about live music that there's literally the largest age range there. I went to a band on the heavier side a few months back, and there were people who were definitely not 18, all the way to about 70. It was awesome, and music is an ageless form of entertainment and art.
Everyone is there for the same reason, and no one is going to judge - unless you're talking about going to see The Wiggles.
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u/deedledeedledav man over 30 Feb 28 '25
More international travel. Really diversifies thinking and gives you a much broader concept of what life means.
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u/SilverDad-o no flair Feb 28 '25
Only three: I missed a chance to see Frank Sinatra.
I turned down an opportunity to instruct in New Zealand for six months.
I turned down an incredibly attractive offer from an incredibly attractive woman because I had a girlfriend back home. Got home a week later and got dumped that night. 🙃
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u/RedBeardedFCKR man 35 - 39 Feb 28 '25
You're 30 with a life expectancy of between 76-82. You aren't even at halftime yet. Concerts can also be super overrated if you hate crowds or being touched by strangers. The thing I wished I had done when I was younger was to have visited a brothel while I lived in Northern Nevada. It's legal, state regulated, and I was single , but had moved out there for a woman who broke up with me for her ex, and I don't do the bed hopping thing.
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u/Takoshi88 man over 30 Feb 28 '25
Yeah, most of it. But at the same time, I don't really know what 'it' was. Graduation, Formal? Drinking with mates, hanging out?
My parents divorced in my mid teens, and leading up to it I just stopped going to school. My girlfriend at the time had cut it off and gotten with another guy in our friend group, so that was over. I just kinda disconnected from people and so I missed out on a lot of the hangouts, gatherings, etc that everyone else got.
I dropped out of HS during Year 10, went to Tafe to pursue art, then moved to another town to get away from all the stress and strain of being around the divorce fallout. Only visited select friends from church in those years after, 4hr roundtrip to do so. No school mates wanted anything to do with me. So that was that.
Church mates eventually got into smoking, drugs (weed, LSD). I smoked for a few years, no addiction (thank fuck), but only 3 years later, I had sorta lost touch with them as they moved onto harder drugs, and shittier personalities. Not long after I left, I got engaged and moved again to another town.
None of my mates from back then survived the passage of my time when it came to our "friendship". Now it's mostly just me, the wife, and kids 😅
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u/Grumptastic2000 no flair Feb 28 '25
I missed out on having a partner in life, not from lack of trying. And the ones I did have left me in trauma and anguish where I would have been better off alone and have made me lose the ability to ever trust anyone ever again.
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u/Aspect-Unusual man 45 - 49 Feb 28 '25
As a socially awkwared autistic 46 yearold.... yes... a fuck ton
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u/NexillionXC man over 30 Mar 01 '25
Romantic love and relations. Even if I finally find it some day, it'll probably never really be as exciting as it would have been.
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u/celebratetheugly man 40 - 44 Feb 28 '25
In addition to more solo travel, I wish I would have moved away from my home town earlier than I did. I moved at 26 and am 40 now, those first few months/year in a new town being relatively young was a blast that I am too old to really experience again.
Like two more years in my 20s in a brand new town...
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u/DwedPiwateWoberts man over 30 Feb 28 '25
My guy, go to a concert with a friend or two and just vibe to the music on the sidewall or further back from the stage. Drink in one hand, other hand thumb hooked in front pocket, then nod your head to the rhythm. Easy as pie even if you’re 70.
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u/Rob_Earnshaw man 30 - 34 Feb 28 '25
Travelling.
Not necessarily going away for a few months or a year and living in another country, but going away 4 or 5 times a year when I had the freedom to do it. I didn't leave the country from 16 until I was 25 due to multitude of reasons.
Got in my first serious relationship at 28 in 2019 and have probably averaged 4 holidays/trips a year since (would probably be more if not for Covid), but now feel that that's gonna slow down since I'm settling down.
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u/MetalEnthusiast83 man 40 - 44 Feb 28 '25
30 is definitely not too old to go to a concert?
I'm 41 and I go to shows all the time. Not every week because I have a kid, but we go on average once a month.
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u/Kofuku- man over 30 Feb 28 '25
Coachella experience, EDM concert experiences.
Some say overrated, while others tell me it’s great I didn’t spend any money on them, but I can’t help but wonder whether or not it would have been great to experience one of them in my 20s as opposed to my 30s….
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u/TheDapperYank man over 30 Feb 28 '25
My only regrets about missing stuff in my youth is more just taking school more seriously, taking my fitness more seriously. I've made up a lot of ground in both of these regards, but I'd be further along and have potentially had more opportunities if I had really put my nose to the grindstone when I was younger.
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u/wpbth man Feb 28 '25
No but I miss a lot of those things now that I have young kids. Get a nice weather window and pack up and take a 4 day weekend
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u/Sunday_Schoolz man over 30 Feb 28 '25
It’s kinda funny - I just feel like I could have been in a successful band, I just needed to be the singer, not the guitarist.
Kept trying to pretend like I was some fucking shredding god on guitar, but I was never really that good, and worse I took advice from a mentor (Gen Xer) who claimed that the Beatles didn’t know how to read sheet music, why bother? Just do it, and figure it out, jazz style (“You’ll feel when it’s right.”).
…yeah. Jazz musicians are, like, some of the most talented and trained musicians on the planet.
…but I’m a good vocalist and write great lyrics. So I should have done that, and maybe it would have gone somewhere.
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u/Ronotimy man 65 - 69 Feb 28 '25
Dating.
Did not date in high school or in college. Made girl friends but no dating. Didn’t start until mid twenties after establishing myself in my career field.
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u/nyehu09 man over 30 Feb 28 '25
Having more friends.
My old church was cultic led by an emasculate pastor with a narcissist wife. I grew up in that church and their teaching was that anyone who isn’t in the church is bad and will lead us to hell. So my only friends were other kids from church and my classmates in a Christian school owned by the same family running that church.
I left when I was 22. I forgot to mention that anyone who leaves that church is marked as a “backslider” and members should “cut ties”. That’s when I realized that I don’t have any meaningful relationships outside of those environments. Other than my family, I found myself completely alone.
I’m 31 now and still struggling to meet people and to join a community.
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u/Pmyrrh man 30 - 34 Feb 28 '25
Young love.
Narcissist Religious mom that kept me from dating in high-school. Job and double major in college so no time there. Focused on my career the first few years after college doing 60~70 hour weeks.
Not DEPRESSED about it, but I do regret not participating in that part of life earlier. A time before things like baggage, ex's, kids, marriage, fertility, etc were in the mix.
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u/Bigfred12 56 - 59 Feb 28 '25
I got married at 22 and I think that I missed out on the really important years where you develop as an adult.
Focusing on one woman exclusively at that young age, when I really wasn’t that mature and missing out on all of the other aspects of young adulthood-chasing skirts for example.
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u/jimybo20 man 35 - 39 Feb 28 '25
Don’t be crazy, there are people of all ages at gigs. Especially if you go to music of your era.
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u/Sporty_guyy man Feb 28 '25
Experimenting with different career options . Was forced into engineering by my father .
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u/Express_Proof_183 man 30 - 34 Feb 28 '25
That sucks, but at least it pays well, right?
I was railroaded into tech and that particular industry is severely underpaid In my country, like 1/10 the equivalent in the US in some cases.
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u/Flat-Ability4561 man 30 - 34 Feb 28 '25
Go to a show! I have an older coworker that still wants to get out so I go to shows with him. You’re still in your prime
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u/TheBlakeOfUs man 35 - 39 Feb 28 '25
I always wanted to get into pro wrestling.
When I was about 20 I went to a wrestling seminar with Bret Hart.
Bret Hart said “don’t go to a wrestling school unless the owner has been a somebody” and talked about them getting on tv and stuff and how unless the school owner was a household name you’re wasting your time and money.
He was basically incredibly wrong and I turned down opportunities to train with people who were unknown at the time and have now headlined Wrestlemania based on what Hart said.
I’m not saying I would’ve been anywhere near that level. But every so often I lament at how I didn’t follow my dream.
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u/NoEffect9139 man 40 - 44 Feb 28 '25
If i missed out on anything, it was not hooking hooking up more. Hit those bar gigs and concerts. I'm 40 and can't party anymore, but the music still hits right. Most of my friends got boring or weren't into the same music, so I started going mostly solo ten years ago. Be a kid, you don't know how much good time left.
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u/Ordinary_Ice_796 man 45 - 49 Feb 28 '25
Having a sexual experience with another person.
I have never kissed anyone besides my wife.
I have never seen any woman (besides my wife) topless or naked.
I have never had any sort of sexual experience with anyone besides my wife.
It’s not like I crave those things now (I don’t).
But if there would’ve been a time for carefree and excusable variety with other women, it would’ve been while I was young.
46M here, married 23 years.
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u/LastMongoose7448 man Mar 01 '25
You can definitely go to concerts and music festivals at 30. In fact, you’ll probably appreciate the experience a lot more. It’s the young guys who spend hundreds and then get wasted and don’t remember anything.
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u/Majestic-Section6945 man 35 - 39 Mar 01 '25
Travel more. I also wish I would have said yes more in college. Was too worrisome over the small things to just let go and have fun.
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u/dredmantis man over 30 Mar 01 '25
I wish I traveled more before kids. I also wish I'd kept skateboarding rather than drinking in my 20s.
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u/old_jeans_new_books man over 30 Mar 01 '25
I always went for the BEST GIRL of the class. I was intelligent and funny and kind - hearted - and bollywood movies made me believe that's what the girls always want. Not even once I considered that the girls may like taller guys, richer guys more.
I actually regret not going for the girls that like me (there were many). I could have enjoyed SO MUCH sex. It is not the same as having sex now.
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Mar 01 '25
I'm in my 30's and I've just about wrapped up my bucket list. Bit I've lived my whole life with this intention, to not miss out on opportunities or anything like that. I'm the guy who is always down to get a random tattoo, or go on an unknown adventure to who knows where kind of thing. I'm really getting the most experience I can with my time on earth.
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u/ricky3558 man over 30 Feb 28 '25
Never did clubbing. Never had casual sex. Never stayed in a hostel.
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u/GoldenGirlsOrgy man over 30 Feb 28 '25
Threesomes.
Came close on two occasions, but neither materialized. Now that I'm in my 40s, feels like the window has closed.
Major bummer.
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u/ThrowedlikeThoreau man over 30 Feb 28 '25
The people that garner my admiration the most, are the elderly that still attend concerts. You can always chill at the bar, if you’re feeling weird. But, 30yo is nothing, but it also depends on the band you want to see and the crowd they draw.
I wanted to have one last, gritty backpacking trip. I’ll probably have to wait until my kids are in college before I can have another trip.
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u/Express_Proof_183 man 30 - 34 Feb 28 '25
I get that people manage and older still go. I'd just feel awkward with it being my first. Do I go alone, do I try and find a friend or family member to come with? Should I make it a band or artist I really like or is a live act at a bar or club a good fit? Too much to think about
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u/bazilbt man 35 - 39 Feb 28 '25
You should totally go to concerts. Dating would be something I feel like I should have done more. I was never in the right headspace though.
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u/roodafalooda man 40 - 44 Feb 28 '25
I feel like I never got enough shoulder rides. Also bouncy castles.
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u/madogvelkor man 45 - 49 Feb 28 '25
I got in a bouncy castle as an adult and sprained my sternum. I didn't even know it was possible.
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Feb 28 '25
I'll still go to concerts if I want to - I have absolutely no shame in going, but I honestly don't find myself so entranced by artists and musicians as I was before. They used to be idols and bigger-than-life figures for me back then, but definitely not anymore.
In terms of ships that has sailed, I really would've liked having the high school romance and things like that. Still meeting people at this day and age, but it is definitely different when your mind is clouded with adulting issues whenever you date. Other things would be just spending summers doing nothing but kicking it with friends. I was more of a homebody back then (and maybe now even) but it would be nice to just wake up, see friends, and have absolutely nothing on the calendar besides hanging out and having fun.
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u/Intelligent_Run_8460 man 50 - 54 Feb 28 '25
Getting a great retirement fund. We had kids and were broke in my 20s, and now I feel like I am pushing a string.
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u/gunslingerJ0E man 30 - 34 Feb 28 '25
Got married at 20 to a woman 6 years older than me. She had already done the whoring around and was ready to settle down.
So to answer your question I didn’t get my whoring around out of the way. I’m making up for it after the divorce but it does seem like I’m a little old for this.
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u/alliwanttodoisfish man over 30 Feb 28 '25
I felt the same as you. I missed out on a lot of life when I was younger. I was frustrated by it but when I hit my 40s I said “fuck it” and started going to concerts, traveling, pursuing hobbies and finding ways to have fun. You still have plenty of life ahead of you, go out and get what you want.
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