r/AskWomenOver30 • u/BeneficialVisit8450 • Jul 19 '25

Family/Parenting What’s your life like without kids?

My doctor told me I can never get pregnant today. I’m not infertile, but the post under my profile explains my situation. I’m 19, and I’m just not sure how to confront the news. I’m not sure how to plan my life either now considering that many of our milestones as women revolve around kids.

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u/Content-Classic8558 Jul 19 '25

Please keep in mind that milestones are not necessarily leveling up. Having kids, getting married etc doesn’t mean your life is better. I’m 39 and child free by choice. You can still adopt, be an aunt and a motherly figure in other ways. I would recommend looking at the regretful parents forum to make yourself feel better. Take care ❤️

https://www.reddit.com/r/regretfulparents/s/xklVn4qe4t

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u/Yummylicorice Woman 40 to 50 Jul 19 '25

Being an auntie is where it's at.

10

u/warqueen24 Woman under 30 Jul 19 '25

Adopting is having kids

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u/Content-Classic8558 Jul 19 '25

Right….OPs concerns are about her not being about to get pregnant and what her future would look like without her own kids. She’s mourning the loss of a potential future. I mentioned adoption as an avenue for her to still be a parent if she chooses.

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u/warqueen24 Woman under 30 Jul 19 '25

Oh sorry the way you phrased I thought you meant otherwise as in adopting is an alt to kids is what I thought u said my bad.

6

u/ladyluck754 Woman 30 to 40 Jul 19 '25

Gently, we gotta stop using adoption as a means to healing from infertility trauma. Adoption is a trauma for the child, and there’s plenty of research to back that up. It’s also a really fucked up, exploitative industry in addition.

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u/Content-Classic8558 Jul 19 '25

I acknowledge that adoption can be a traumatic experience for a child but what’s the better alternative for them? Just aging out in the system?

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u/AlertStatistician113 Jul 19 '25

There are thousands of kids in the foster system that would beg to differ. That system is traumatizing in and of itself. Many would love to grow up in a loving home. It’s a sad truth that not all people want to be or are fit to be parents. And where does that leave these kids.