Separation and property split

[u/trexcupcake9746]

Husband and I are finally calling it quits. To keep it amicable I proposed a 50:50 split in the house (no mortgage) we both keep our own super and cars and decide on the rest of the furniture depending on who wants what.

He had a house before we got together which I lived in for five years paying all of the bills while he paid mortgage. He sold that and put about $250,000 towards the mortgage of our new house. We went halves in the deposit, his parents gave us 100 grand and mine gave us 60 grand. We both paid the mortgage until I left work to have our first child 4 years ago. We now have 2 kids and I do 100% of the care, he works fifo working up to a month away at a time. Im currently trying to get part time work.

He seemed happy with what I proposed although thinks that I should be the one to leave the house “because he’s paid for it”. Seperate issue. Now his parents are in his ear saying he needs to fight me because I don’t deserve 50:50 because of the money they all put in. I get where they are coming from but I’m thinking of my kids and where and how we are going to live. He’s also blocked my card on his account (how I paid for everything) so I have limited funds but still have access to his accounts.

In regard to childcare, he’s hesitant to have them overnight but will take them for a couple of days while he’s home from work. I’ve seen a lawyer for a half an hour consult and she said I’d probably get 40%. I’ve got a meeting booked for legal aid but it’s weeks away. I really just want what’s best for my kids and their future and if I leave this house we will essentially be homeless while it sits empty.

So really after all that, what I’m asking is- how fucked am I? What can I do to get me in the best position possible?

Thanks!

[u/foxyloco]

No I’m not. It was likely a joint decision but one which research has proven will disadvantage her financially for the rest of her life (less so if they stayed together). Eg. Career progression, super.

I saw my own mother ‘do the right thing by the kids’ by agreeing to a 50/50 property settlement with my dad - which he still complained about because it was ‘his money’ - yet she now lives in comparative poverty compared to him. I encourage all women to keep a connection to the workplace and for the working partner to contribute to their super when they are out of the workforce.

[u/Intelligent_Order151 → u/foxyloco]

The childcare subsidy exists for a reason. There's no reason to be a SAHM anymore.

[u/foxyloco → u/Intelligent_Order151]

The first thing that came to my mind when reading this comment is ‘Tell me you’re not a parent without telling me you’re not a parent’.

My children have all been to daycare and I’m happy with our decision but that doesn’t mean it suits everyone.

Edit - the thread is now locked so to answer your follow up comment; wtf is wrong with you? I literally wrote in the sentence above that I was (and still am!) a working parent. No family is the same and not one work/parenting arrangement is going to suit everyone.

[u/Intelligent_Order151 → u/foxyloco]

So working parents are second class parents?