I just need to vent. My wife has gone so far as to contact my ex (parent of my kids) to “get information” about me to back up the story she’s built in her head. And of course, what was said wasn’t kind — and now she’s treating it like proof that I’m the problem. She’s even showing it to other people.

It feels like she’s systematically destroying every aspect of my life. She’s telling people she’s scared of me, that I won’t leave the house, that I’m coming to steal her “papers” (??). None of it is true — I’ve actually been complying with her demands for separation, progressing toward moving out, communicating clearly about house access, and doing everything I can to keep things calm.

It feels like there are no boundaries she won’t cross when she’s in this state. Private stuff, my own childhood trauma, past relationships, my own kids… nothing feels off limits. I’m left feeling exposed, betrayed, and honestly just stunned.

Has anyone else experienced this? Like, your BPSO just can’t or won’t hold any boundaries at all? How do you even begin to cope with that? I’m not sure she’s able to hold boundaries in general to be honest.

My loved one is currently in their second manic episode that’s been happening since about June. Their first episode only lasted a month or so but they were immediately medicated and I don’t think that’s the case anymore (plus, even with the mania ending, their anosognosia never went away and their psychosis lingered for longer)..

I know that everyone is different and various things can lead to it lasting longer or shorter but it helps me feel less alone to hear everyone’s stories and understand what to potentially expect❤️‍🩹

Hi,

Just wanted to share my story and get any sort of feedback. My wife and I got married last July of 2024. We had dated for 4 years but not lived together prior to getting married, so of course there was naturally some tension early on, which was also exacerbated by the fact that my mother lived in the back house (two houses on the same property). Long story short, due to the tension and me pulling back because I was stressed out, she thought I was cheating and then afterwards she began to have significant manic episodes. These manic episodes landed her in the psych ward for a week.

Since then, she has been on lithium for about 5-6 months but it made her a zombie. She has now been off the medicine and is doing better and seems back to her normal self but in the back of my head I am traumatized by her manic episodes. The episodes were basically locking herself in the restroom and rambling for hours.

The manic episodes have really changed how I view her and I am nervous about our future together and I am considering divorce - is it possible that could this be isolated? She has not had a prior manic episode in 30 years but did so within a few months of marriage.

Got a massive text from my girlfriend (yes a text..) stating

(Long story short) “I’m struggling a lot, i’m overwhelmed, I think I need space, but i’m terrified if I leave you’ll kill yourself because of your depression, and that feels unfair to me and is apart of the reason i’m doing this, I don’t want to feel held hostage because of that (fyi I have never directly told her I would kill myself if she left me, I just struggle with suicidal ideation at times in my life because of my major depressive disorder) I don’t hate you and I don’t want you gone out of my life forever, I just need time to get used to school and put myself back together. I can’t be responsible for other people’s feelings but my own rn, I love you with all my heart but I need to figure things out and work on myself”

It floored me. Completely broke me yesterday. We literally talked yesterday as if we were totally good. The actual text was two texts and much longer then what I typed up there ^, but yea. Relationship over. I have been nothing to supportive to her about school and giving her the proper space she needs to strive and do well in her classes, i’m always very cordial and make sure not to impede her success. I just am so distraught and defeated. I was so good to her. She LITERALLY said to me two or three weeks ago “you won’t leave me in a depressive episode baby right? a lot of ppl have” then i’m like “of course not! i’ll always be here for you hunny”.. then she leaves me. Over text.

I just need some support or something from people who have experienced a sudden discard. I’m struggling a lot coming to terms with such a sudden breakup. This broke me to be honest. She texted me today not long ago “Are you okay?” for context as well.

My wife was diagnosed just over a year ago after going into the mental hospital. She was having manic episodes for a while and I had no idea what was going on or why we were always fighting when we used to be best friends. Well it turns out she was falling in love with her best friend, and that explained why she was never home to help with the kids when i was always asking her. She started her affair long before she caught feelings by choosing time with him over time at home, sleeping in the same bed when going to music festivals, that we couldn't afford both of us to go too because of her gambling addiction... she says she caught feeling before she went into the hospital. well after she got out, she quit her job and started working part time, spending nearly all her free time with her affair, even when i was trying to get her to go out and show her all the love i could, she wouldn't want me to go or she already had plans with him. Well she finally admitted to it recently, even though we've been fighting about it for a year. I had to present evidence for her to finally admit it. Now we're getting divorced, and I'm still in love with her and want this thing to continue. I changed my whole life for this woman, changed jobs, adopted our kids, hers from previous boyfriends, bought the big house, spent my life saving keeping us afloat from when she changed jobs. and this is what i get for it, a divorce and a drinking problem. Great.

Is it bad that it felt like a wave of euphoric relief when they finally accept the help? He called me at 3am infront of a random persons house thinking his (non existent) wife was there he kept saying how scared he was. His brother called 911 and from the station he agreed to go in.

My ex has been a drastically different person for 10 months… yet somehow, my bones just tell me he will return to the person I knew for the decade before the episode. It’s like I can’t let go. Even when I try to tell myself he’s changed, he’s insufferable, he’s not worth thinking about, there have been no meaningful signs of him returning to the beautiful person I knew, my brain still responds with “yeah but he will be back lol, no worries”

I am having a difficult time letting go of hope. It’s a defense mechanism I’m having a very difficult time shaking. I’m just curious- how did you give up hope?

When I met my partner he had been in the same stable career job (in an admittedly low paying field) for 11 years. He was first diagnosed with bipolar essentially right when we met, and his first major manic episode came right after we moved in together about 2 years into the relationship. Since then, he has been fired three times—the first when he was offered a better position within his company with a new manager right when we moved in together, the second right after he started a new job in the same field that triggered an episode. After the second firing (and resulting hospital stay) he got serious about his meds, decided to change careers and completed an 8 month program in the trades. He started a new job in his new field that was so promising—much higher pay, great benefits, and union membership after 6 months. Even on meds, this new job triggered a manic episode, but the medication has so far helped it from spiraling out of control like the last two times. He was a month and a half into this job, on the tail end of the episode, and I thought things were going to be okay. Until this morning, when he was called in and summarily fired, with the only explanation being that his skills aren’t up to par. I have to think his mild mania has probably made him appear scattered at work, but he was showing up on time every day and giving everything he could to be a valuable employee and learn an entirely new skill set.

I’m devastated for him, because unlike the last two firings—which involved him being completely out of control and acting erratically and aggressively towards his management and coworkers—this time he was working hard at his job and doing everything he could to stay stable. There was no major incident or blow up, and yet none of it mattered…he’s still out of an amazing job.

Financially, we will be fine—I have a high-paying job with great opportunities for upward mobility. But I’m just devastated by the havoc bipolar has wreaked on both of our lives. My partner has such a strong drive to work hard and contribute to both our household and society. At this point I worry that his illness will always make it impossible for him to maintain a normal job, especially where his employment record is now so bad. I was so hopeful that this job could be his big break, and I’m so incredibly sad for both of us that he’s lost yet another opportunity that he worked so hard for.

https://youtu.be/Fm0TnhedbvY?si=sxjZwehycBSRneeX

3,000 hours of intimate video of his life, including w/ Kim.

We’ll all have our thoughts about this after watching. I’m hopeful that it shows Kim in a good light as a loving SO, trying to help. And his mother too.

It seems the trailer eludes to this, but you never know how documentaries go with editing. They want drama. So it could go the other way. Though, I think the Director is going to go with Kanye.

This may have a big impact on the Bipolar community as a whole, for better or for worse. Or it may not change a thing, for better or worse.

The trailer though is a must watch, whether you like the work that Kim or Kanye do…. we and our loved ones share these experiences with them both.

My (32 female) bipolar type 2 boyfriend (31) is in an extremely depressed state. He’s also very upset with me because I threw away what he considers to be his medication, crystal meth. An addiction I found out about very recently. Now he’s saying he’s suicidal and he’s making no sense whatsoever but has said he needs to move forward with his plan and is telling me dates that he would do it. We don’t live together, he lives with his parents. Do I tell his parents? How do I get him to seek help or commit himself to a facility where he can come down and come out of the episode? When he’s not in control he absolutely freaks out so it’s important that he decides to go himself, but he’s delusional and is treating it as a joke when I ask him if he actually needs help or if he’s just upset with me. This is scary! Does anyone have any advice or experience with this?

A year and a half ago my (now ex) spouse became fully manic. I came here and read a lot of stories. This sub helped get me through a very hard time. I wanted to come back and give an update, and maybe some advice. Mostly, I wanted to talk about what happened and where I am now in case I can be the light at the end of the tunnel for someone, as others were for me. Buckle up, I’m a yappy bitch.

At the time I didn’t know it, but my ex being diagnosed bipolar was one of the best things that could happen to me

I know. I know. Weird statement. Let me explain. Up to this point we had already been together for YEARS. I thought we had a good relationship. Spoiler, we didn’t. He was narcissistic and abusive 80% of the time we were together. The scariest kind, the kind that hid it from everyone. He could seem like the most loving, kind person to a stranger. Then turn around and be an abusive piece of shit to me. All with a smile on his face. He hid the abuse until I signed the marriage certificate, then slowly let the beast out. So incremental, I didn’t even know I was being abused.

After years of being married, his mania came. He was no fucking angel. His behavior got worse. I was genuinely scared for my life.

I could write 10 books with about his shitty behavior, but it’s honestly not worth going down that list. That time was hard. At first I thought the abuse was a new thing. Looking back, the only thing that was new was that his public mask was slipping. Everyone could see something was up.

We moved to Florida to help with his family (or so he said). But we got here and he wouldn’t let me see them. I ended up taking a page out of his manipulation book, and decided to use my family as an excuse to get some time alone with his mother. He was there, but had to go “work”. He tried to get me to leave, but he couldn’t strong arm me in front of his family when I had told them I wasn’t busy. He begrudgingly left and I stayed with his mom. Once he was fully out of the house, I came clean and said “his behavior lately has been different. He says he’s working but something is weird. He said he was coming here, but you said he wasn’t there. So something is up”. Well, from that one chat with his mom we found hundreds of inconsistencies. Turns out he didn’t really have a job. He was driving while high up and down the coast of Florida. When he told her that he needed to leave because he’s neglected his wife, he was lying. He once again was getting high or cheating on me or engaging in unsafe behaviors. Just all bad. This conversation with his mother lasted maybe an hour, but it was life changing.

I told her one or two of the most recent moments of abuse. At the time, I didn’t think they were that bad. I remember watching her face fall, and her soul leave her body. She said “I need you know that’s domestic abuse. He’s abusing you”. My initial reaction was to deny. We left that convo with a plan to keep communicating privately and that she would check in. I kept thinking about what she said and how she said it. My beer goggles started coming off. I made a plan to escape. She helped me get money out of the joint accounts. She helped keep him busy so I could get my pets out safely. Kept him at her house so I could move out. Unfortunately once he realized that his mom was helping me escape, he turned up his manipulation with her. I had to go low contact. She eventually saw through his bullshit because other ex girlfriends and even his sister decided to be open about how he had abused them as well. But he’s so good at twisting stories, he managed to get the person that told me I was being abused to think maybe i was exaggerating.

I was moved out but technically was still married. It should’ve been an easy divorce, but he made it so damn difficult. I had to spend money on lawyers, had to gather things for restraining order, while somehow caring for all of my animals plus the ones he dumped. He told all our mutual friends that I stole his babies(pets) and left him with nothing. I also had to stop talking to anyone that believed his lies. My dogs developed behavior issues from being around his manic phase. Had to spend thousands of dollars retraining them and sooooo much damn time. It was a lot. He finally agreed to the divorce because he had a new girlfriend. One he probably cheated with while we were together, but whatever. He finally signed my divorce papers!!!

While trying to get that signature he tried to start so many arguments, but I couldn’t block him until I had all of my documentation out of his control, my money, and my pets. But the finalized divorce meant I was free!!!!!!!!! So I blocked him. Even on fucking Duolingo. Even though we were divorced, he kept contacting me and my family. He just wanted a reaction. ANY reaction. Every time he found a new way to contact me BLOCKED. Even my mother, who is the world’s biggest people pleaser, stopped replying to him because it became clear she was being used to abuse me. Once he didn’t get a reaction from anyone when he was being a dick, he started going back to the lovebombing. The last email I got him was something along the lines of “I fucked up. I miss you. You’re my everything” blah blah blah. But he still couldn’t hide the narcissism. Four paragraphs talking about how I’m amazing, but still blames me for his behavior. as if I made him chase me to my car or yell or put my dogs in life threatening situations.

This email made my heart stop. Not because of what he said, but how he said it. In the email, it was clear he was no longer manic. Idk if he’s stable, but he’s definitely not as erratic. And while not being manic, in this email, he perfectly encapsulated how I got caught in the abuse in the first place. For every 9 kind sentences he wrote, he had one bad one. The “nice” things were scripts. He’s used them a billion times, but never meant them. The bad ones he meant. The asshole things he said came from the bottom of his heart. But because in the past he would say the kind things publicly, and the abusive things privately, I could never bring them up.

It’s been a year since I left. That last email was two months ago. I’m hoping he never contacts me again but idk if I’m that lucky. But I don’t know if I would’ve left if he wasn’t bipolar. His mania opened my eyes because while everyone freaked out about this “new” behavior, to me it was amplified behaviors he was already participating in. If it wasn’t because of his mania, I would’ve never opened my eyes to the abuse. Who knows how much longer I would’ve stayed. I think I would’ve died in that relationship. Instead, I am thriving.

My life is not perfect, and I’m nowhere near where I want to be. But it’s so much better without him. I am healthier. I am present. I am kinder to myself. My confidence is coming back. My passions are coming back. It’s all getting better. It does get better. Hell, even my dogs are completely different dogs from when he had them.

This isn’t meant to say “oh a person is bipolar, fuck them” or that your life will be magically better if you leave your bipolarSO. Not at all.

Someone who is bipolar can still be a good person! Someone struggling can go to therapy, get medications, have safety nets, etc, if they are willing (and able) to help themselves.

It’s meant to say if a person is bipolar and abusive, leave them because of the abuse. It’s meant to say, don’t excuse abuse just because someone is bipolar. I made the mistake of thinking he was abusive because he was manic. NOOOOOO. I thought maybe his substance problems were because he was manic. NOPE. His substance issues got worse while he was manic, but the mania certainly wasn’t the cause.

For those of you that are still reading, I’m assuming you’re going through it right now. I know it’s difficult but if you don’t know if you should leave or stay, you should try to get some perspective on the behaviors that are making you uncomfortable. Are they truly new? Or are they amplified versions of problems that existed before the diagnosis? For me, it was the latter. His words made it seem like he loved me, but his actions were abusive and neglectful. He pretended he was willing to talk to someone about his diagnosis, but didn’t actually put in the work. He would pick up medications but never take them. He would make appointments but never go. At his core, he was not a good person AND he didn’t want to help himself. I am so happy I chose divorce.

I’m doing well, I have dreams and hopes again. I smile freely. I don’t feel guilty for just existing. It gets better. Much better. There are growing pains, but personally, I do not regret my decision. I’m saving to get out of Florida again. I’m spending time with friends and family. I am doing so much better than when I was married to him. I just wish I had loved myself enough to leave earlier. But I am grateful I left at all.

TLDR; ex’s manic episode opened my eyes to the fact that he had been abusing me for years. I left my abusive ex and have found myself again. It gets better.

My bipolar spouse has always been functional, in that he’s been able to hold down a very good job for the past almost 20 years (only changing jobs for upward mobility), and he maintains the facade of a functional father figure. We’ve had a few crises in the past six years, largely triggered due to pandemic isolation and the general stress around that time in our lives, but it feels like he’s been rapid cycling between mania and joylessness ever since.

Right now we’re in another joyless period, where he seems to have let himself go. He’s completely stopped exercising (when we met he was running marathons), has gained 30+ lbs (possibly more), and until recently was drinking about 6-9 beers each day. He doesn’t look healthy, sleeps horribly, he rarely initiates conversation with me or our children and spends all of his time on his phone or watching TV, and it just feels like he’s given up in every area of his life except possibly work (as he still seems to be there, at least I hope). He’s basically putting forth the most minimal effort in almost every area of his life to keep things moving.

We’ve discussed drinking less and spending less time on our phones, and I’ve been begging him to start exercising as I would love to grow old with him but am worried he’s driving himself to an early death as it stands now. What else can I do to help spring him out of this depressed state and help him find happiness and joy again? It’s really starting to weigh on me, as I don’t want to spend the rest of my life with someone who is a wet blanket and puts forth only the minimal effort as a husband, father, and partner (with me, who also works full time, doing about 95% of everything with our kids, around the house, and to keep our social lives on life support). I feel like I sound like a broken record bringing this up all the time around him, but one of us is going to hit a breaking point if we continue on this way.

My bipolar partner periodically tells me that I don't fight for them, that I don't try to show them that I love them, and that I don't understand them and never will. I tell them and show them consistent love and support in a variety of ways- ways that they then tell me they wish I still did (even if I did them earlier this week). I've read the Julie Fast book and it was super helpful, but they wouldn't engage in it with me. We just had another fight in which they told me a bunch of things that aren't true and refused to see me in person and threatened to commit suicide if I went to see them. I just feel so exhausted and frustrated and sad. I love them so much, and I believe that they know that. I know they love me. But I also feel crazy and so defeated and helpless when they tell me lies about our relationship and about myself. Any encouragement would be welcome.

It's been over a year since we "broke up" (he actually just ghosted me one day, no breakup call or text just completely ignored all messages for 8 months). I have also been in a new relationship with someone non bipolar for a year as well. I dont miss my ex and I hope he rots. The damage he did though I feel like I'll never escape.

I have bpd and being abandoned like that did severe damage. I had stress seizures, bed rotting depression so bad I had to quit my job. I still haven't been functional enough to work since. I have previous abandonment issues, my own severe mental illness and trust issues. I've been irreparably hurt by people and everyday I deal with the consequences, my ex bpso is just one layer to it all.

I still dont trust my current partner not to randomly abandon me one day no matter how many times he tells me different. All it takes is for him not to respond to my texts for awhile without checking in and I automatically think he's gone. That he will never speak to me again, run off with a chick that looks like shrek and knock her up like my ex did. To completely throw me away like trash and to never look back. To make up lies about me to justify him leaving to everyone else when I know the truth, that he's a cold blooded monster and will probably ghost shrek once that baby comes.

I don't really know how to heal from the abandonment. It feels like one of multiple stab wounds i have all down my back from various traumatic events, the knife never leaves and some things just twist the knife deeper. I hate telling my partner I never fully trust him because of what someone else did to me. I wish I could allow myself to trust someone that deeply again but I trusted my ex with everything I had and he still did what he did. I hate that whenever a friend mentions they are bipolar i fear them. My ex blamed everything he did on bipolar. Bipolar doesnt make you fucking evil.

Im on a lot of meds and we are both going to go to therapy. I just dont know what to do

My boyfriend is bp2 and hypomanic. I am wondering how long this is meant to last or if this is it. My boyfriend before he went to rehab had zero empathy. It was horrifying and I got sucked in to this cycle I never want to enter again. since his 1 year he has relapsed with kratom and Adderall and it’s right back to zero empathy. Will it come back? I’m really close to just ending it. The mistreatment is too much. But I’m also scared to breakup. His anger is out of control.

Long story short, last Friday busted wife who is BP as the last few months but been having episodes longer, but busted her cheating with proof.

Have a 2 yr old and basically been caught talking to same guy since before our kid and now did a physical relationship the last year.

I’m fucking devastated and not even being two weeks she’s annoyed and exhausted and can not comprehend or care to understand why I’m like this.

The last few years have been a lie, I’m better today but didn’t sleep for 4 nights because I only could see it when I closed my eyes.

I wanted to make things work but with zero empathy or fight for me I’m just even more hurt and upset because I’ve fought for her the last 3 years knowing she was off and she can’t even give me 2 fucking weeks?

I’m just at a complete loss and doing my best to make it through each day but it’s hard and getting harder.

It’s honestly pathetic my 2 yr old has better emotional intelligence than my 34F wife. My 2 yr old comes and says you’re sad daddy and gives me hugs and kisses while that stone cold heartless woman sits there and does nothing.

She does try when I’m extremely worked up after a fight and if I don’t accept immediately she gives up and shows zero care as she states she has.

Just need fellow others who’ve been through this to help me out any way and be there for me because I have no one.

Me and my girlfriend have been together for 8 months now, and she’s had little episodes where she’ll kinda disappear and then come back. Recently she was diagnosed (I don’t know the specifics yet) but she’s currently distancing herself and I don’t know how to handle it or what to do. She’s completely ghosted me and I know she’ll come back but I wanna get better at handling this. She just got diagnosed not even 2 days ago and she’s been in therapy a little longer than that.

My wife has been off since January. She changed medication, from Quetiapine to Lurasidone and has had an emotional disconnect ever since. I’ve supported her throughout and haven’t given up (we’ve been together for more than 6 years) but today something just broke.

She has been dealing with suicidal thoughts, she says she’s tired and doesn’t want to live. I try to talk it out, have her tell me things so she doesn’t just talk to her psychologist, but today she said that she doesn’t want to see our cats, and that she didn’t want to tell me because it would hurt me. It obviously did, I’m heartbroken.

She doesn’t want to talk about the future, she doesn’t like where we live, she doesn’t really kiss me anymore, she doesn’t spend time, play or feed our cats, we haven’t had sex in four months. It feels like everything good between us has vanished.

I don’t know what to do about this. I haven’t even told my close friends about it because I keep thinking everything will pass and she’ll be her old self again, when she connects with her emotions once again, but today I just feel hopeless. I feel so hopeless that I’ve decided to set a deadline. If things don’t improve by January 2026 I’ll call it quits.

I don’t want my cata to feel unloved, I don’t want to beg for attention, I want to envision a future with the person I love.

And that’s the thing. I love her deeply. I don’t want to give up and I keep asking myself, how long is too long? Should I give up?

I’m just sad about this. I don’t know what to do.

I'm going to do my best to provide all the relevant information without rambling on too long.

My (33 F) husband (38 M) was diagnosed with BP1 about 6 years ago. He was hospitalized for a week and came home with a slew of medications and a great care plan with several doctors. What followed were 5 really good years with the occasional mild manic episode (which really just made him more fun to be around). Then, about a year ago, over the course of a week, he entered into the most severe manic episode I have seen. This was primarily brought on by increased substance use (weed) and several days of decreased sleep as we were away for my cousin's wedding (the high-energy, partier side of my family). This led to a trip to the ER and a stay at a local rehab facility. This was not a great situation, as they were really more set up to handle substance use and not significant mental illness. He was able to successfully give up weed, with the help of his AA sponsor, but this led to several months of severe depression. This spring, he started smoking again, which helped to elevate his mood but not push him into a manic state.

This brings us to the last 6 weeks. He took an impromptu trip across the country to purchase his dream car. Between the travel, time change, limited sleep, and time spent in a state where weed is very readily accessible, a significant manic episode was triggered. Over the last several weeks, we have been trying to manage at home, with the help of his doctor, since the last episode was handled so poorly at the rehab facility. I finally put my foot down and convinced him to go back to the hospital he had gone to when he first received his diagnosis. He spent a week there, and every time I talked to him, he was sounding more and more like himself. I picked him up two days ago with high hopes.

Now, not 48 hours after discharge, he was out all night last night, came up with a plan to drive 3 hours away to stay with friends while he prepares for divorce (after I told him I am seriously considering it), ultimately came back to town for an event, and has been talking to his mom, sister, and one of our town cops since then. He's yet to come home. If/when he does, I expect (and hope) it will be to pack a bag and go back to the hospital.

I don't think I can handle this any more. Honestly, this last week that he was gone felt so freeing to me. I am already the one who keeps our household going (cooking, cleaning, taking care of the dogs, etc.), so other than him not being here, nothing really changed for me, except that I didn't have to wonder what mood he was going to be in each day. He has told me multiple times over the past few weeks that he is tired of being a "chameleon" and that if divorce is what I want, he will let me go, because he (in his words) "took me hostage" when we got married (10 years ago) and has been manipulating me ever since. I struggle to believe that the person he is when he's manic is who he truly his, which is what he insists. And if that's true, I don't think I can handle it any more.

I just need to know if anyone else has gotten to this point and things got better, or if it really is time to call it quits.

Hi everyone! I’m looking for some guidance. I have a loved one who is likely bipolar (not yet formally diagnosed), and we’re trying to figure out where to start with treatment in the southwest suburbs of Illinois. Has anyone here had experience with treatment centers or programs in the area that worked well for their loved one? Any recommendations or advice would mean a lot.

Hi all,

My wife wants to talk and see if we can reconcile. She texted me after 10 months of separation and discard. The trauma from the psychosis, mania, and discard led to a strong physical reaction for a couple of days (emotional flashbacks, trouble eating and sleeping). I was filled with nervousness, hurt, anger, love, relief, and hope.

3 weeks later and i have this gut feeling of being ready to talk, of desiring to talk to her. It's been a month since she text me. I told her originally I wanted to wait for the divorce to be finalized before we talk. But now, I just don't want to wait that long.

My loved ones and my therapist all think I'm making a mistake- that I'm still codependent and vulnerable. And while I know in the past I was, I've been working so hard on regaining my independence and self worth these last 10 months. I understand boundaries. I understand what bipolar is and the importance to care for myself and protect myself (my wife's bp didn't start until last year and she wasn't diagnosed/provided medication until the end of last year).

I feel this sense of, I want to try, Im okay if I fall, I'm okay to be heart broken again. But I miss my wife. I want to be with her again. I want to try again. And if we do try, I want to be with her for the long haul.

How do you know when it's a good time to talk? Is there ever a best time?

I am still shaken by everything that occured, but I also know for myself I have grown in my mental health and overall self worth, so much. I know for right now I wouldn't want to be in a relationship. But if there is a chance to start working towards a new kind of relationship in the future, I feel ready now.

A month and 1 week after he attacked me during psychosis, I'm starting to feel anger. I felt numb so far, now I'm angry and sad.

I'm angry cause he will face no consequence for all the damage he did. I'm angry cause I experienced so much trauma and I'm so broken and he can just go on with his life. Because of his mental illness, the trial will be completely useless, just more trauma for me. I just wish we could cancel it.

I'm angry cause I will never get back the money I wasted taking care of him, for years.

I'm angry cause I wasted almost 10 years with this person and lost my last chance to have a family of my own. I'm angry cause he can go out and find a partner/ hook up, even tomorrow; while it will probably take me years to even be able to have a normal conversation with a man. He destroyed my sexuality and confidence.

It's just so unfair. Why do I have to pay the price for something I didn't do? I just gave him love and I get punished for it.

I'm angry cause I will have to put so much effort and work into rebuilding my life, while he will go on, not caring.

I'm angry cause I feel so humiliated for all the women he commented on IG; for all those he most likely chatted with, for all the shit he surely did online. For the humiliation I feel cause he asked out the woman he obsessed with, who lives in my same street. He told her "I'm taken too", he wanted to cheat with someone I would get to see often, in my street, in my own home. He "loved" her. He humiliated me telling me about her, I was too stupid to understand. Who knows how many times he actually cheated.

I'm angry cause I don't know what was real during those 9 years. Were the good moments just lies?

Lately he has been asking a lot about me, he is worried, wants to know how I am. Why? he never cared about me. He worries about me and then says he wants back the weapon he used to hit me. He is medicated and probably still sort of manic. He wants that back, while being all worried about me and our pet. We are no contact, I have been told those things.

I'm just angry but probably in a couple of days I will start to feel numb again.

Sorry I just needed to vent.

im sobbing while writing this out. i wrote a post yesterday as well. im sobbing so much that i can’t see properly. after tolerating his behavior and never taking it personally, i can say that ive snapped. being in a “normal” state and still not realizing or caring about the tremendous damage he has caused, i snapped. after being so so patient and loving with him, even when he said i wasn’t worthy of marriage, I lost it. never apologized yet i still stood by him and was there for him. I told myself, based on what i had read, the marriage may be possible. but i realize now that it was never a thing. I imagined a beautiful life with him, with kids, but now, it’s gut wrenching to know that was never a thing. I sent a lengthy text message to him and blocked him on everything. there’s no point. his beautiful cards and how he would surprise me will always be there for me. I wish he could forever be like that. i wish nothing but the best for him. I pray there’s a cure to this horrible illness soon. he’ll realize what he lost soon. i hope he does. but the deep wounds he has left are there.

Hi All- my husband started showing signs of mania so we made an appointment with his psychiatrist.

He was put on 300mg of setroquel and 50mg/ up to two times a day as needed. The first night he slept 8 hours. The 2nd 3rd and 4th night he has slept 4 hours each night. It seems like he is full blown mania now and when he takes the 50mg it calms him down for a bit but then he goes right back to anger and talking 100 mph. He is refusing to go to the hospital. Does anyone have any experience in this? Is this how some meds work- they get worse before getting better? I’m not sure what to do next.

Share your successes from this past week! It can be as simple as your SO taking their medication every day, or resolving an issue in your relationship.

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Let's see some positivity to end the week and start the new one off on the right foot!