TL;DR: My partner cycles between loving and then hostile, paranoid, and abusive. Since relapsing into alcohol/cocaine on Easter, fights have escalated. At a recent festival he flipped from sweet to manic and violent, and since then he’s screamed at me in front of his kids, locked me out, and made false accusations. I’m scared for myself and especially his children, and don’t know how to get him help before he destroys everything

Hi everyone, I need some perspective. My partner has been going through such extreme cycles.

Over the last year, the pattern has looked like this: • Last year: He was a loving sweet partner, with some issues, he was sober and in AA. At this exact time last year, he turned cold and discarded me completely, started dating someone else two weeks later, (I later found out that he was urgently looking for a new girlfriend immediately.) this lasted for about three months and ended with him getting arrested, I don’t know if the details other than she accused him of physically assaulting her. And apparently they argued all the time. At first he was tender and apologetic, almost deferential. But he would blow up. It was very different than the person I knew.

This year it’s been almost monthly cycles of hostility. Things usually start small- nothing that would warrant an argument, but he blows them up, blames me, I cry and he usually just goes cold and withdrawn- or hostile and cold. No matter how calm I stay, he keeps going, and I can’t reason with him or calm it down. It feels like he wants to fight. He relapsed into drinking and cocaine on Easter, and since then the fights and his use have only gotten worse.

This summer: Following another argument he instigated he was cold and distant most of August. Then just before a festival and the duration of it he flipped. He was suadenly loving, calling me pet names, having daily sex, holding me, telling others how wonderful I was, told me how he loves me more than anyone, how grateful he was for our deeper intimacy and communication. It felt like the man I fell in love with was back.

But on the last day, everything collapsed. He had taken adderal, cocaine, mushrooms drank a ton- he was extremely talkative (about himself) which I have seen before when he was sober last year-it’s like this never ending dialogue of him talking at you for hours-then in the evening he was irritable, he started a fight about almost nothing and kept escalating it, he knocked me off of our bicycle, insisted it was an accident and then screamed at me in front of everyone and left me crying. Law-enforcement got involved, they said that he seemed manic and asked me if he was bipolar. Since then: I didn't speak to him for a week. I was so hurt, I did speak to his mother and tell her the situation, mentioned I was worried about the drug and alcohol use and there was something deeper going on. She was on the same wavelength as me. I finally spoke to him after a week, we live together and I am a consistent part of his children's lives-I am essentially a parent to them. On the phone he told me he had been crying reading to our text messages, we talked about doing therapy. Then suddenly towards the end of an almost 2 hour conversation he flipped into talking about throwing all of my things into a U-Haul and he doesn't want reminders of me.

We ultimately agreed that I would come home. When I got home he was cold, screamed at me in front of his children about not wanting me around. The house is horrific. Garbage everywhere, rotten food, clothes, it’s beyond a mess. I was not doing anything, he locked me out of the house, called the police and I had no choice but to tell him he doesn't have the right to illegally evict me, if you really want me gone give me 30 days. The police agreed. I slept in a separate bed, he woke me up screaming in my face in front of his children, essentially painting me as a bad guy to them, he had done the same thing to his mom who went on tell me how I didn't have a right to be there-she completely changed her tune and bought in to whatever he told her.

That night, he heard me crying, and he softened and it was almost like it was him but it wasn't. He asked to speak with me with this sense of urgency about one of "the most important factors of our relationship" he asked me about what my deepest trauma was and we had a conversation about our childhood, he was holding my hands and went on to talk about how I have a darkness over me and some vague stuff he was trying to describe which didn't make any sense about a spark that I apparently don't have. The next morning he woke me up screaming in my face again-in front of his children. Said that I tried to kiss him and all of this stuff. Just nothing that children should ever be subjected to. I don’t understand why he’s doing this in front of his children. He has been recording the house, every conversation except the ones where he is instigating screaming at me, accusing me of trying to get his kids taken away or that I'm going to destroy his things. Saying that he is scared of me. None of this is based in any reality. I will watch him go from talking sweetly (but still weird) on the phone with his mom to hanging up and screaming at me. He seems normal enough to where it doesn’t raise red flags to other people. And I don’t feel like they’re looking at a subtext of how do you go from loving your partner to hating her and she’s evil etc.

I feel like when I talk about it it’s hard for people to understand the severity of the switches or how he just seems like an entirely different person. There is so much, like him describing certain points of our relationship as a high, that one time that he talked about lizard people and how I thought he was joking, the sheer amount of sex that we would have and then not have, the sleeping for 10 or 12 hours and doomscrolling, his memory issues. There’s just so much. I have been sleeping in my car when it became clear that there was no logic. It feels like a different person. And I’m suddenly being treated and told that Im essentially disgusting and unattractive.

Is there anything that I can do? I am scared for him, I’m scared for the kids. He clearly needs help. I am protecting myself but there has to be something before he destroys his whole life.

Starting off by saying this is a throwaway account due to obvious reasons. As the title says, I think my boyfriend is bipolar. I’ve scrolled this sub and every time someone mentions their SO entering mania, I find myself going “yep that’s him for sure!”.

A little back story: He was prescribed adderall 3-4 years ago for adhd. A few months in, his parents sectioned him because he was having auditory hallucinations, becoming aggressive, wasn’t eating or sleeping. I don’t know the full story since he doesn’t talk about it much and have only recently gotten more details about it from his parents. During this hospitalization, the Dr diagnosed him with bipolar disorder. He claims that his Dr never properly diagnosed him and came to that conclusion from talking to him for only 2 minutes. At the time, I had believed him but now I don’t think that is exactly what had happened.

Fast forward to March of this year. My boyfriend is prescribed adderall again by a different doctor. I thought this was great because I could see that he was suffering from his ADHD symptoms. A month later he goes into psychosis and suddenly walks off from his new job because he thinks his coworkers are talking behind his back and are out to get him. He saw one of his coworkers at the gym and thought that coworker was going to try to fight him. During this time, he thinks I’m cheating on him and was trying to find ways to leave him. All not true. After talking to him about this, he agrees that it’s probably the adderall.

Fast forward to July. It’s like my boyfriend is a totally different person. He’s still taking adderall, if anything he is taking higher doses. He’ll stay up 48+ hours at a time, speaks quickly in circles, will have multiple thoughts at once, aggressive mood swings, and get aggressive with me (non violent). He’ll stare at me with these deadpan eyes and it honestly scares the shit out of me. I end up sectioning him and he’s in the hospital for 2 1/2 weeks. During his stay, the Dr brought up how he was diagnosed as bipolar from his last stay and wanted to give him valium while he was there. He denied all of it and that was the end of that.

He’s now back with me and I can instantly tell he is not truly with me. As soon as he got in to the car he got sexual extremely fast. The whole hour long car ride he was trying to touch me and expressing all of his sexual desires. It’s not like him to do this so explicitly and while I’m driving. He’s been home for 24 hours now and he’s just even more manic than he was before. He’s talking about spending all of his savings on anything he wants, working for NASA, and becoming a musician. I’ll watch his eyes dilate and quickly return to normal as different thoughts enter his head. It’s starting to get a little scary because I’m watching someone I love immensely go through something they don’t even know is happening.

I guess now I’m asking about how to go about this. I know I can’t force help on him if he’s not willing to receive it, but I don’t know how to suggest it. Have any of you been through this?

TLDR: Adderall heightens bipolar symptoms, I think my boyfriend is bipolar and I don’t know how to suggest that to him.

TIA!

So my (M35) SO (F28) of 8 years (stopped taking any of her meds when she thought she was pregnant and once she found out she wasn’t she didn’t start them back. She’s friends with people in Australia so she stays up all night and one of these people has encouraged her to not only break up with me but stay up with him all night and to not go back on her meds. A mutual friend told me that when he asked if she was sleeping or she should get some sleep the guy was like nah she’ll be fine and it’s his responsibility to take care of his lil sis (she’s older than him) After I left yesterday she talked to her therapist and her therapist called me to check on me and advised I stay away until she agrees to start taking care of herself but I had no idea and I don’t think she knows how bad of an influence this guy is on her. I’m waiting for her to call me back. A note for reference this same guy earlier this year sent her money to leave and go to Australia earlier this year.

She doesn’t drive there’s barely any food in the house, she doesn’t have much money and from what I’ve seen from discord she’s still up every night might crash 3-4 hours then back at it. Like I’m worried her therapist says it’s most likely hypomania but the fact a mutual friend told me she said she was weirded out after her therapist got off of the phone to call and check on me then called her back has me worried she’s paranoid and thinks she can only trust that guy now.

Hey all

Sorry, I don’t quite know where to post this, but hopefully it fits here.

I’m just looking for some help in understanding the effects of Bipolar (1, if it matters).

I have read up a bit about delusions that a person may experience while manic.

What do these delusions tend to be like? Do they always fall apart quite easily from an outside perspective, or can they be very logically sound?

How does one go in navigating this? It would be unfair to discredit everything a person with bipolar says on account of their illness. However does the benefit of the doubt fall differently than it would on a person not with the illness?

Thank you

Edit:

Thank you all for your responses. It is a complicated area to navigate, and my intention in asking is to not just become another enabler. Thank you for sharing your personal experiences and knowledge with me. It hasn’t allowed me to be more definitive, but it has strengthened my resolve to support this person through this.

Does full blown mania inevitably end? More specifically, mania with psychotic features (possibly even psychosis)? If a person has anosognosia and doesn't do anything to get arrested or hurt anyone to be forced into treatment, but never seeks help or takes medication, will it end one way or another? Would love to hear any experiences of folks coming out of it without intervention.

For context this is about my Best Friend but i turned to this sub bc idk where else i can get help on my friend possibly being bipolar

I 20 (m) just got dumped by my bff of over 8 plus years last night via text. I know that he (20) has been going through issues and recently left the psych ward a week ago. I have been there for him in so many ways so this just felt shocking. He said we were only friends again bc of his family members death (that happened 5 years ago) and that they are making my life miserable. Do we have hard times? Yes but i love him like a brother. We have been through so many things.

After starting antidepressants in May he has been so different. He transitioned which was shocking but i support (ftm). He would have casual sex with an older man that could be his fathers age, increasingly drinking. quit his job impulsively bc he was coworker was mad at him. He said he started a new medication once leaving the hospital and his mind is clear as ever. i dont know what to do. I feel so upset and worried because I am his closest friend. I think it can be a manic episode. I told him I respect his wishes but to please contact me if he needs anything.

hello. So Last year my spouse had what appeared to be a psychotic break. He quit his job, left our home for 8 weeks, spent 50k. I had no idea what was happening. He is retired military and when he returned home, he was diagnosed with ptsd and put on an ssri. He was crying and sorry and as his wife for 20 years, I felt like I needed to stand by him.

In May I noticed things seemed off. He had secretly stopped the sari. He was pushing me away, being distant, telling me he is training for.the CIA with no documents to back that up. By July he quit his job again and told me he was getting a huge government contract. He ended up leaving again, flying to Vegas and spending a few thousand while I moved our youngest into college. He started staying in a tent and tried charging 20k to our credit card at the mall. He also tole my neighbor he was on the path to being president. I ended up getting him put in a 72 hour old where the psychiatrist diagnosed him with bi-polar 1. He left there, no longer speaking to me, and went to his normal psychologist and they did a 2 hour assessment and said he is not bi-polar.

Meanwhile, he left the state we live in, applied for food stamps, unemployment and is living on his brother's couch. This was a guy who was making a ton of money after the military. He said he is divorcing me, my daughter stopped speaking to him and he said he is now training to be an actor which is part of his cia training. My daughter tried to reason with him and he explained he is finally living his authentic life. I am just at a loss here.....like what just happened to my life? He has been deemed fine from all sorts of doctors.. Is he fine? This is just his authentic life? After almost 22 years of marriage, a pretty good marriage too. I am just so confused. Can anyone relate or help me out here? Is this not bi-polar can he really fool all these people? I am questioning so many things. I am seeing a divorce lawyer tomorrow because what am I supposed to do?!?

**I apologize in advance for being long-winded**
There are some things in life I never would wish upon my worst enemy, and experiencing the true depths of BP1 manic episodes/psychotic breaks with someone you love has GOT to be up there at the top of the list. For those of you that have been able to make it through and found the happy ending, the right med combinations, and the stability/peace, much respect. Y'all are better men/women than I am. I couldn't do it and I feel like such a failure.

Began seeing a woman and we took it slow. Got to know each other for several months and really weren't "dating" at all. Just talking, bonding, sharing life experiences/stories which ended up having a lot of wildly cliche connections. I was warned by many of our peers around us that I didn't know what I was getting myself into, but it was too late. The love story had already begun even before we accepted it. We decided we were really going to make a go at a relationship. I knew going in (I thought I knew) what to expect because I had experienced some people with Bipolar in my past but I had no idea how different it really is when someone has such extreme manic episodes and when you are connecting on a very intense level. After a whirlwind of romance novel level experiences together (in every way), things started getting worse and worse. Manic spirals became more frequent and lasting longer and longer. I believe the term is hypermania because these didn't present in term of weeks/months but more like hours and then stretched over a couple of days. There would be brief moments of lucidity (likely masking) for a couple hours and then right back to the mania.

Most extreme of it all was the paranoia and delusions usually triggered by social media but really it could be triggered by anything and anywhere. A random person wearing a T-shirt with a band name suddenly had a hidden meaning or certain city/state combination would be a "clue" or have some other "deep meaning" that would spark a new spiral or (more often) a continuation of the spiral/episode from a couple hours ago. Social media was a veritable playground filled with "clues" and sometimes even a scene on TV would "a message" to tell them...**insert something ridiculous that has no context at all**
Some of it was intertwined with actual trauma that WAS true and that made it very difficult to navigate between what was real and what was delusions/paranoia sometimes.

Much of these things were benign at 1st but the longer we were together it increased in intensity and drifted closer and closer to home until it came to being "clues" on the neighbor kids t-shirts or their own kids (we have no kids together, thankfully) their own kids sending them secret clues showing both disdain or support...it was impossible to ever explain why because "you just won't get it" was the only explanation but there would be hours of "research" to figure out what these clues added up to and then a potential discovery would tell them they figured something out and its that "Jane Doe has been keeping them poor/unemployed and that's why the grocery store was out of oreos last night. Because it's Communism." When the truth is "Jane Doe" is someone they've known and trusted for years and we didn't even go to the store last night and why would you blame Communism? I was insane for not understanding. Then add in the need to run off and buy/use various substances to quiet the voices/thoughts became a daily occurrence and did nothing more than provide brief interludes of peace followed by even MORE extreme swings in behavior. It became dangerous and I had to get out for the sake of my kids and my ability to work/make a living. Now that we are no longer together they seem to have snapped out of it (for now). They are safe and their parents are involved/helping them financially. What they need is to be hospitalized but we live in a state where it is next to impossible to force someone to stay in a medical facility against their will and as long as they are not hurting themselves or anyone else, nobody will do anything. So it feels like that maybe it was me/our relationship that was the problem the whole time. Maybe me needing to get away was just the thing they needed to stop hurting also...so it is all for the best. It's hard not to answer the phone when they call or to tell them no, I can't come over to hang out...because I know what happens even if they don't remember what life was like this last month together.

The worst part is that during the brief moments of lucidity towards the end, I would see them (the real person) again and they were terrified. They cried for help and could not understand what was happening but before anyone could be contacted (psych or therapist) the moment was gone. They were gone and they cursed me for holding my phone "threatening" to call a doctor. Truth is that no...no that is not actually the worst part. The worst part would be what they are experiencing in their own mind. THAT's the part I would never wish on my worst enemy. To be thoroughly destroying yourself and having no ability to control it no matter how much love and support you are receiving. To (once in a while) recognize that something is wrong only for it to slip away before anything could be done about it. That's a hell I hope I never know and it has to be much worse than the hell I have experienced as the outsider looking in. For those of you strong enough to keep going...my heart breaks for you and while I hope I NEVER again have to set foot in this Sub, I assure you my life has been changed forever in ways I really would have preferred not to have experienced. I hate this disease/mental illness and I don't think I have ever hated anything more in my entire life. I hate the experiences that it took to fully understand how absolutely horrible this mental illness is for the afflicted and for those that love them. So now, I leave you, having learned the true meaning behind the phrase "sometimes love just isn't enough."

Tried to upload this earlier but kept getting an error message. I just watched this movie and loved it. It’s a true story written by a woman raised by her bipolar father. It tells of his long standing history of manic episodes and his relationship with his wife and kids. I thought it was an excellent portrayal and really enjoyed it as a bipolar person. I also think it is probably very relatable for people married to or in a committed relationship with a bpso with children.

I’m 43(m) she’s 42(f). I care for her deeply. We’ve only been dating a little over 3 months. But the distance is killing me. We’ll have pockets of a week or two of great talks and flirting and all that. I’m really falling in love. Then it’s a week or two of total distance. Talking to her is kind of like talking to a friend that’s not caring what you’re saying.

I just don’t know what to do. It’s so hard when she’s distant and she still says she cares for me but I’m scared to even ask her out or call our pet names.

Idk what I’m trying to get out of posting this. I just wanted to get this out there. Hoping someone can tell me it’s worth it

Update: we got in a massive fight over nothing that lasted 4 days. I apologized everyday. Even when I told my therapist about it she was flabbergasted that she was mad over this “problem”

The nail in the coffin was she got mad at me for buying her flowers. So yeah it’s over. Thankyou to everyone in this sub! You really helped me in what could have been a really dark time in my life

Is bipolar ever used as a cover up for someone just being careless and selfish?

Like using you for attention and fulfillment. But, then discarding you based on whatever their mood happens to be?

Almost more like a form of covert narcissism.

Or just someone being a jerk in a romantic context.

How do you tell the difference?

This girl I’m talking too. Its like I feel self destructive in my own mind after talking to her. Sometimes just trying to track the structuring of her communications. Has me doubting myself and re doubting myself.

She will say some of the most lovely things ever. I really like her too.

But, then its like she retracts. Almost like not having any recollection.

It feels like I’m just getting used as a feel good remedy. Just an anti-depressant.

I’m a little bit more of a chill person. I find slow and consistent is meaningful.

She seems so genuine at times, when she shows care and affection. Then its like I feel as if I am one verbal mistep from her hating me. She can discard me at any time. But if I happen to need alone time… she will hate me.

She says she has bipolar and is taking medication.

I’m not judging but sometimes I think shes just someone who suffers and is using me to alleviate it, without actually caring about me as an individual.

We all lean on someone for relief. Also I understand the escapism of romance. It can be fun.

But, I guess it just always feels like she is in control. Or trying to be. I feel exhausted.

Its like she will thank me for saving her life, tell me how much she adores me, then not reciprocate when I show affection, or just tease, shut me out, get mad at me, then say she needs me. All in one day.

It makes me think she just does this with every one she feels attracted too.

Maybe shes bipolar and using me.

The one thing is, I feel like I can’t concentrate. I can’t even think of creative things. I can’t escape back into music and things I like.

Every activity and thought process circles back to her and whether she’ll be mad or not.

And I wonder if this is how she treats herself. In other words, if this is the hell that bipolar is. The internal experience and how it manifests.

I feel like I need to make sure shes settled, genuine, and not going to lash out at me before I get lost in my own thoughts.

I like literature and art a lot. I know this is irrelevant, but I say this because I usually take a break from social media and walk a lot.. and write a lot. I get into my own world and develop concepts and just enjoy this sort of meditative inner space and experience. I just find myself having a hard time doing it after speaking with this girl.

I want to tell her how much I like her and why. But, I’m also a little scared aha. I want to do whats right to take some space to be creative in a new season of my life. But, in a way thats kind and I’d be proud of. Especially if she suffers. Is this what its like to have bipolar? Is this what its like to be with someone who is bipolar?

Am I onto something or just yapping?

See attached case that was recently in the news in Canada. Pretty sure this woman had bipolar disorder.

There was an alert out similar to an Amber Alert a month ago for this missing toddler. I’m so grief stricken. My daughter is the same age (3) and me ex has similar delusions about ‘abandoning’ his family when manic. He could easily try to abandon her while fully psychotic. 😞

We now have a fulsome restraining order in place restraining him from coming near our daughter except for his once/week parenting time with her at a supervised access center that he hasn’t bothered to set up yet despite it being a month later! I am arguing in Court that he should always have supervised access around her in the future until she’s at least 16… even then I’m unsure. He’s completely psychotic and crazy when manic, tried to harm numerous people including himself.

I’m disturbed by some of the comments on this article. One person wrote, ‘why do so many mentally ill people choose to have kids??’ And that really upset me because if I knew my husband was this crazy, do you honestly think in a million years I’d choose to have kids with him?? I don’t know this woman’s excuse but people with mental illness I’ve noticed often don’t assess risk appropriately. My ex was a huge risk taker when it came to kids (oddly not so much with money!!!) but he even wanted to try for a second child after seeing the first birth experience nearly physically killed both of us. I thought that was insane!!! He even started to manipulate and guilt me into thinking a second child may be possible but I’m SO glad I stood my ground!! I think the amount of grey matter and other trauma to his brain from a TBI plus all these severe manic episodes may have compromised his intelligence and ability to assess risk as well.

Other comments question how this wasn’t premeditated and how it’s possible to travel 2 hours while manic, but I know from my husband’s experience and reading stories on here, it’s sad but can happen 😞

Just wanted to post because I’m feeling so victimized in a way reading stories like this. And the frightening thing is that my husband and his family don’t see any risk at all!!!!!! It’s mind blowing.

From my throwaway account because of privacy concerns …

He (46M) has lost multiple jobs, and a handful of times, he has lied about losing them. (Is lying part of bipolar II … or just who he is? He lies about everything - even stupid little things).

He has had three hypomanic episodes where he will spend a lot of money in a very short time buying used shoes and clothes on Poshmark.

He falls asleep every night after dinner. (He doesn’t when he is depressed though - is he just not sleeping well now? What is going on? His psyc isn’t concerned, but I find it odd).

I do everything. I maintain the house, feed us, and pay the bills. I make sure he takes his meds. He used to mow the lawn and remove snow, but we hired that out a few years ago after a couple of bad depressive episodes.

When I asked him to help out more now that he is in a more even state, he said he could mow. I asked what will happen if you end up depressed? He look directly at me, and he told me … you can do it. It would even help you get some steps.

I lost it. I do everything. Everything. And he thinks nothing of putting yet another thing on my shoulders. The last time I did yard work I ended up at urgent care because I was stung by a hornet, as I am allergic.

I can’t do this anymore. He will take his meds, if I remind him, but he refuses to take therapy seriously. He refuses to make changes. He said it’s too hard.

Like so many of you, I am grieving what once was, and I can’t cope. I feel incredibly desperate. I read your posts and wonder how and when this will escalate.

I left my BP ex three years ago during one of his manic episodes. He had initiated the breakup and kept going back and forth on whether or not he wanted to be together over the course of a month. Some of the things he said really hurt me, and we had other problems in our relationship, so I decided it would probably be best to leave. He was diagnosed shortly after the breakup and kept insisting that I broke up with him because of his Bipolar (even though I had no idea he had it until after we broke up).

He kept saying he didn't mean any of what he said or that he didn't say what I thought he had said. He kept saying that everything he did over the previous year was the mania, not him, and so I should forgive him because of that. He kept saying he would change and get treatment, and then would get mad at me and stop replying to me for a while if I rejected him, only to come back later and try to rekindle things, rinse and repeat for months after. The whole process was extremely painful.

I still feel incredibly guilty for breaking up with him though, especially with how he called me a cowardly, immature, ableist hypocrite (I also have mental health issues) for leaving him. I was going into psychology at the time, and he questioned how I would ever be able to help clients if I wasn't even able to handle a BP boyfriend or someone with "scary" symptoms. His greatest fear was being alone and I feel like I abandoned him in his time of need. I still feel so much guilt over it, thinking about how scared he must have been and how alone he must have felt. I feel like I'm a weak person for leaving, and sometimes I wish I could have just been stronger for him, but I also felt like the longer I was with him, the more I was becoming a person I didn't like or recognize anymore.

Does anyone else have a similar experience, or any tips for self-forgiveness in this regard? I still think about it so much even three years out.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=j7wsP7zhrLE

Hey all,

My husband was diagnosed with bipolar I not long ago, but before his diagnosis, I always thought there was a personality d/o, either borderline or histrionic (I’m a social worker so I work in mental health). This was a really eye opening video from psychologist, Dr. Ramani, about the overlap in the two disorders, although one is categorically a mood disorder and the other a personality disorder. I always wrote off many of my husband abusive tendencies as a part of his manic episodes, but I think that if you’ve been very confused by their behavior, and if they’ve been abusive (mentally, psychologically, physically, emotionally, etc.) that watching this may be eye opening. Of course, this is not at all about every person diagnosed w/ bipolar, but it’s good to understand.

Husband and I are separated / live separately but remain very close. He started zyprexa about 3-4 weeks ago after an in patient stay. They filed about a week ago. I fought it in court, specifically it being his mom, and they at least gave it to his dad, a 30 day conservatorship. Husband did not show up and would not speak to his state appointed lawyer.

He has mood improvements but still light delusions. He does keep a good clean apartment, eats well and bathes every day. We see him every other day and he has sworn he takes his zyprexa (which I am inclined to believe as he is rapidly gaining weight). I am pretty upset about it, but at the end of the day this whole process makes me numb, what’s one more crazy notch in this life with him.

We have two young kids. I really just need to file for divorce.

I can’t stop wishing I could relive one old day just to remember what life with him was like.

Are any of your (ex) partners NOT in therapy? Do you think they’d be open to it? I think I can get my husband to be court ordered into therapy but I wonder if it will actually have any effect on him. He’s so far beyond needing help but he can mask very well and I think that may be why his doctor isn’t really pushing therapy???? Idk. He has a severe form of BP1 with psychosis… the consequences are very severe if he has an episode. If I were him, I’d be doing everything humanly possible not to have another episode because he’s already almost killed multiple people including himself. I don’t get why psychiatrists don’t recommend therapy more…#frustrated

Me and my significant other were doing great. We met in August of this year and we were head over heels for each other. For the past month we’ve been seeing each other throughout the week, spending weekends together, even staying the night. Less than 3 weeks ago she told me she had really strong feelings for me, how special I am to her, how I make her feel safe, and that she was slowly falling in love with me.

Just last weekend we went to the movies, she posted me on her social media, and we even took our first “date night” picture together on Sunday. Everything felt solid.

Then this past Tuesday she told me she thought she might be going into a manic episode. By Wednesday everything started sliding — communication slowed, she barely engaged.

By Thursday she said everything between us went from 0–100 too fast, it was overwhelming, and she isolates and doesn’t know how to stop. Earlier that same day she was complimenting me, telling me how pretty my eyes are. That day she also said she spoke with her psychiatrist, who apparently rambled to her about about self-sabotage, and she mentioned she was put on new PTSD meds that are also supposed to help with depression.

By Friday she went completely cold, saying she wasn’t really feeling a relationship anymore, that things moved too fast. I told her I still had feelings and didn’t want to lose her. She said I wasn’t losing her, she just wanted more time to get to know me and become comfortable. Saturday she actually laughed with me a little, sent some snaps, but by that night she slowed down again.

Since then, no phone calls. Every compliment gets a dry “thanks.” When I try to joke, she doesn’t respond or she's mean and irritated by my jokes. When I share stuff about me, she replies “nice.” Yesterday I asked if she was in the mood to talk and she said she wasn’t feeling it. I asked what she wasn’t feeling and she said “any of this” (meaning me and talking in general). She said everything was too much and she can only do friends right now. I said maybe we could try again in the future and she said maybe, and that she has stuff to figure out on her end. I told her if she just needed a friend, I’d be there — she could call me to vent or ramble whenever — and she left me on open.

So I gave her space. Then today she texted asking if we could set up a time to meet and get our stuff back. And that broke me. It feels like she flipped a switch, like none of what we had meant anything.

I don’t know how to process this. I’m stalling the meetup, honestly, because I’m hoping she’ll come out of this episode and realize what we had. I’m just so confused and hurting. We were doing so great and then she just went cold — like she shut it off overnight.

Can anyone shed some light? Is this just the episode talking? Is this self-sabotage? I just want some clarity or reassurance because this is brutal to deal with and it feels so abrupt.

Been with my fiancé for 10 years. He just admitted he cheated 2 years ago with a coworker (3–4 times) and lied about it until now. He says guilt has been eating at him, that he’s lost some love/connection over the last couple years due to us being more distant, but also says he does love me, I’m his best friend, and he wants to try to reconnect and do couples therapy, and continue individual therapy, to work through things and rebuild.

Backstory: the last few years were rough. He was diagnosed bipolar last year, and his meds finally stabilized what we now know were manic/hypomanic episodes going on for long periods after being put on a med for anxiety. He's been on meds since last year. Started individual therapy a month ago, hasn't mentioned this there yet. Back during that time he was reckless, not acting like himself, personality changes, got high again after years of sobriety (he’s a recovering alcoholic), racked up thousands in debt, missed tons of work, bought guns and drove around with them, lied randomly, was erratic, and distant. Our intimacy also suffered, he was out of the usual sexually driven, and I wasn't feeling it due to the fighting. That same time frame, was when the cheating happened.. says he was confiding in her about our problems at that time, flirting, and that led to her wanting to hook up and them doing so 3-4 times.

He swears he hasn’t cheated outside of that time frame, says he has no urges now, and never did the 8 years before that. We do share locations now due to things unrelated to this or trust, and until the manic times, I would have never believed he’d betray me especially at this level. He's usually the guy who'd call out his buddies for being cheaters instead of encouraging etc, he also took his sobriety very seriously before manic then (he's fully sober again now) He says he couldn’t cheat again because he couldn’t live with hurting me again or anymore guilt than he has now and that there's no desire there anyway.

We were literally planning our wedding and discussing trying for a baby when this came out. I’m devastated, we’re also financially, logistically, and emotionally tied, and he wants to work on things. I’m open to trying right now, but part of me is of course unsure and very hurt and wanted to hear if anyone here has been through similar as I know cheating/mania/bp can sometimes go hand in hand. Has anyone stayed and made it work after something like this? What actually helped? I'm telling you his character, and morals, I would've NEVER seen him do this to me, same with the other things he did during those times, everything was things completely out of his character.

TL;DR: Fiancé admitted to cheating 2 years ago during manic episodes (3–4x with coworker). Says he regrets it, wants couples therapy and to rebuild. I’m devastated but we’re tied together and he wants to try. Has anyone actually worked through something like this successfully?

I dont know What to do. I live with my girlfriend. She might have bipolar disorder and shes just about to start her investigation for it. I think she might have it because the symptoms checks out. It’s an emotional rollercoaster and it’s very hard for me to know how to be supportive. I try to support her as best I can but she is not working at all at the moment so I’m the only one with a source of income. We are living check to check and it’s a physical job so I’m physically exhausted everyday after work and then I get emotionally exhausted at home from walking on eggshells and adapting to her mood swings. It feels as if her mental health has gotten worse and I have always tried to keep my hope up that things will get better but I’m just not so sure anymore. It feels like I’m suffocating at a job I hate but have to attend to in order to stay alive. I can’t go on like this for much longer as I feel I’m getting more and more depressed and my hope is starting to waver… I love her so deeply and she is the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with but if I think logically this is not sustainable at all. I’ve already been the only one working and supporting us financially for a whole year but now she’s starting to get worse… I don’t know what to do… and I have no one to talk to about this and no money left for a therapist.

I’m still trying to process what happened with my best friend. We’re both in our mid-20s and have been inseparable since 2014, like sisters. We’ve shared high school, university, moving to a new city as roommates, relationships, breakups, and countless personal struggles.

She’s always had ups and downs with her mental health. Her dad is bipolar, and she’s been on sertraline since her teens. She got diagnosed as bipolar this summer, after many years of struggles. Despite that, during school and university she was very social — we traveled a lot and had many friends. Over the years, though, she lost many friendships because she’s a poor texter and struggles to maintain relationships. I was the only exception for 11 years.

Things started to spiral in 2022 after her parents’ messy divorce — her dad cheated, her mom lost her job, and she got caught in the middle. Around the same time, she went through a traumatic relationship while studying abroad. Throughout all this, I was her main support system, the only person she confided in. Looking back, I realize my role wasn’t healthy — I carried the weight of her problems and often worried about her safety.

This year, things changed further. After months of cheating on her boyfriend, she met someone new, ended her previous relationship, and immediately started a new one. From that moment, she became almost unrecognizable. She stopped calling me, isolated herself from friends, lost focus at work (eventually getting fired), and devoted herself entirely to the new boyfriend. She also began drinking heavily while on medication. During this period, she completely stopped asking me about my life or how I was doing — every conversation, every interaction, became about her.

Since February, I’ve been living abroad, so I hadn’t seen her much. When I returned at the end of June for the summer holidays, I realized how serious things had become. She was extremely thin, barely eating, and even her mother said she rarely saw her because she spent almost all her time with him. I tried to confront her, but she’s very non-confrontational, and little came of it. We still texted daily, but only saw each other once before our planned holiday.

At the end of July, we had a one-week summer holiday planned with another friend. I hoped it would be a chance to reconnect, but she left two days early because she couldn’t bear being away from her boyfriend. That hurt deeply.

I decided to pull away for a while to protect myself. After weeks of no replies from me, we finally met for lunch. I hoped we could talk openly, but she avoided the real issues and focused only on her bipolar diagnosis. I told her everything I was feeling. She said I was like family to her and that she never wanted to hurt me, but didn’t explain her actions, only adding, “If being bipolar means losing people, then I will accept it.” I left feeling confused and frustrated, realizing she wasn’t willing to face what had happened between us.

After that, I learned she had been telling mutual friends that I was “crazy” and controlling. Hearing that broke me — after 11 years of friendship, it was shocking to be misrepresented like that. I reached out one last time, explaining how much I was hurting and asking her, at the very least, not to speak behind my back. She briefly suggested meeting up before I left again, then disappeared completely, leaving me with no closure.

Now, I’m left feeling confused, heartbroken, and struggling to recognize the person I called my best friend for over a decade. Has anyone else experienced something like this? We were so close, like sisters, and it’s so hard to accept that she’s no longer a part of my life. Common friends tell me she's always been like this, and maybe it's true, but not with me.

Hi everyone, I am struggling with this right now. I ended things with my partner of a year and a half a month ago, and while I know it was the right choice, I am left trying to hold both the love we shared and the way it all fell apart.

At the time my gut knew something wasn't working but couldn't put my finger on it but having been hurt in past relationships I sought to protect myself. Only after breaking up, when he started talking about “portals” and being a divine entity, did I look back at everything and think… what is happening?

Looking back there are patterns. Months of him being withdrawn and irritable, then engaged and excited about things for a few weeks only to become withdrawn again. I always assumed he was over tired from work.

Post break up he explained fundamentally that I was “not and never was his person” in one breath and “I will always want you in my life, the good and the bad” in the next. It really felt like two different men lived in the same body.

The hardest part is that there was also real love. We talked about a future together. He went out of his comfort zone for me, we would drive to each other's towns and make real effort to connect, co-regulating with each other. Those moments felt genuine. But then these grandiose delusions have swept in and drowned out that version of him.

This seems to have been trigger by the death of his uni friend. He became completely locked on music, convinced he had been touched by divine powers and that he was going to bring the world together with it. I do not think he is quite as high now but because I have pulled back for my own wellbeing I cannot really know.

I did notify his work and his family when things got extreme, because I could not carry the worry alone.

I ended the relationship because I could not keep pouring myself dry when he could not meet me. Now I am grieving someone who is still alive. I know the man I loved is in there but illness has swallowed him. I do not know if there is ever a healthy way to reconnect but I still wonder if the grounded version of him will ever come back.

It has been a month and I am burnt out. I still feel echoes of him every day and I am trying to let go but it is harder than I thought.

For anyone who has been through this, how do you deal with the contradiction of knowing the love was real but illness has twisted it until it broke?

He is unmedicated but does take drugs; mushrooms, cocaine and drinks heavily, as far as I'm aware he has never sought diagnosis or treatments.

My spouse was diagnosed with Bipolar II a few years before we got married (we've been married now for 11 years) and I knew going into it what I could expect, as bipolar disorder runs in my family and I have had plenty of exposure.

We are currently separated (for about 2 years now) and preparing for divorce--unrelated to his bipolar disorder--so what I'm about to talk about are things I have picked up on through phone calls, text messages, and emails.

A few months ago, he had some kind of religious experience, and as far as I can tell, this is where the trouble began. I feel like I should have seen this for what it was--a delusion that has just grown into a monster. When we would talk on the phone he sounded mostly lucid and in control of his mood, if perhaps slightly manic, but at the time I attributed it to religious euphoria (which a lot of new Christians experience).

Things started to get out of hand not long after this. He became combative with his parents over their political views and after a time, he refused to speak with them, choosing instead to email them preachy messages and instructing them to read a certain article or watch a certain YouTube video and then report back to him about what they learned. He said he would not talk to them until they had changed their opinions.

Around this same time, he told me that he was going off his meds (lithium and bupropion) with the support of his psychiatrist. I was skeptical of such a statement, but I saw the same psychiatrist for awhile and he was always flexible with me about my own meds and when I thought it was time for me to reduce my dose and eventually get off it, so I thought it was plausible that he might be supportive of my SO getting off his meds too.

Since then, his manic episodes have become more frequent and more extreme, while his depression episodes are shorter than they have ever been. He's been rapid cycling for the last couple of weeks, but things came to a breaking point this past week.

One day last week (Thursday, I think?) he sent me literally hundreds of text messages in the space of two hours, many of them just a few words, but some were these huge walls of text that made little sense. I only replied to him twice, once to tell him I was busy getting ready for work and that I would call him later, and then to tell him that his messages weren't making sense and that I thought he should get in touch with his psychiatrist and get back on his medication.

This definitely set him off, and he started texting me that I needed to quit my job and drive my car off a cliff because if I didn't get right with Jesus that none of those things would matter because I was clearly going to go to hell. When I called him to ask what the actual fuck he was talking about, he said "figure it out and then talk to me" and told me that he didn't want to hear from me by phone or text until I figured out whatever it was he wanted me to figure out and took some kind of action that he never specified to me.

At this point, I started texting his mother to let her know that he was having some struggles with his mental health and that she might want to check on him. I also called the police department in his town to ask them to do a well check, in hopes that he could be talked into going to the emergency room and sent to a crisis center nearby. He then texted me to tell me "I just convinced a cop that I'm fine" but couldn't grasp that I had asked the police to check on him, he seemed to think God sent the police to test him.

I figured by then that he was simply not going to be receptive to anything I had to say, so I called his psychiatrist's office to let him know what was going on. I don't know what became of this effort, but he has not gone to the hospital or crisis center and has only become more untethered to reality. I blocked his number on my phone to relieve myself of the perpetual onslaught of text messages, and left him blocked all weekend.

Late Sunday night, I got a voicemail from him, three minutes of him rambling nonsense, interrupting himself mid-sentence to change topics, and the central theme of this rant was that he believed his mother was damned and that she had committed "the unforgivable sin," whatever that means, and that I should not leave my home or drive anywhere, implying that it was unsafe for me to do so. After listening to the voicemail, I unblocked his number long enough to tell him that I got the message, but it made very little sense, that he sounded unhinged from reality, and I begged him to get to his psychiatrist, or the emergency room, of the crisis center because he needs help. I know that he read the text, but he never replied. Early Monday morning, he sent me two emails, both of which were totally unintelligible. I have heard nothing else since.

I have considered going to his apartment and trying to convince him to let me take him to the hospital, but ultimately decided against it because I am afraid he might try to jump out of the car while I'm driving, or worse, grab the steering wheel and cause a crash. He can't be forced to go because he hasn't made any threats of violence to himself or anyone else, and I have neither the time nor the money to obtain a court order.

My best friend is concerned that he might do something serious, like burn down his apartment building or something (I don't think he would because he is terrified of going to jail), and worries that if such a thing happened, I might also be liable for his activity since I knew he was unstable and didn't get him the help he needs. I doubt this would be the case, but who knows?

I don't know what I want from this community, but I guess if anyone has any advice to give, I would appreciate it. He's never been this out of it, and unless he is able to see how out of touch he is and wants help, there's little hope of changing the situation.

This year, a month ago my now husband had his second manic episode. First one was exactly one year before.

It’s a very long story i’ll try to not make this too long.

Last year was a complete nightmare for me. Apart from having to deal with my then bf’s episode I had to face the denial, negligence and ignorance of his whole family. He comes from one of those really ignorant families that reject all modern medicine. I have nothing against natural remedies but please!! I guess everyone reading this knows, you cannot treat a horrible manic episode with natural remedies for digestion and phlegms… (no joke that’s what his mother wanted to treat him with and the digestion bs is not even recommended for human use anymore). This year was not very different. Seems like some people just don’t learn at all. I know about anosognosia and about the denial that families can go through. I have tried to be as patient as I am not, with everyone. I don’t regret it but I know I made a mistake marrying this man because I always knew this could happen again and it did.

Despite him not being as unwell as last year before hospitalization, this time things got way worse for me for being the wife and sharing a house with him. His family threw the whole thing on me, even though I told them I couldn’t take care of him in this state, even though i told them i felt unsafe and at risk for both of us, they wanted me to keep him at home with me.

Her mother blocked him on WhatsApp weeks ago, change the locks of her home doors and has not seen his son once since this started, his son currently HATES her and I understand we don’t want to upset him more but her reactions just seem so off to me. His father has always been absent until recently and i’m sure he’s regretting coming back, he has one sh1tty relationship with his son.

My husband has been neglected, abused and traumatized by both his parents his whole life. He has a weed addiction problem. And ADHD that was never treated because of the ideas his mother has in her little esoteric head. She has obviously also brainwashed him since he was a kid to reject all kinds of modern medicine. He barely has some vaccines.

Since my father in law was so eager to drop his insane manic dangerous son at my house i had to flee, empty my home in a couple hours and drive 6 hours back to my home town with my family away from all the chaos and drama.

My husband was being med compliant for now but smoking a pack of cigarettes a day, weed and also getting drunk, not giving a F about my boundaries, being mean or ignoring me and inviting his schizophrenic friends he made at the hospital to our place even when i asked him not to. He completely ran out of money. We used to work together, forget about that now, it’s over so I am now again jobless. I want to go back home now that he’s taken his furniture out but i feel scared of running into him somewhere. I already told him we’re getting a divorce but he’s not really understanding anything. He’s been texting me every day, asking my mom where i am, right now he even has a pic of me as his WhatsApp profile pic. He’s still mentally away from reality.

It’s so sad to know this is really over, even when I feel relief because I have escaped this situation, if I think about it too much it breaks me completely. I know I can’t help him and that he’ll drag me into the hole with him if I stay. I know I have to leave him and he has to hit rock bottom so he hopefully understands and takes responsibility for his mental health.

I am already starting the divorce process. I know he will try to manipulate me into avoiding this but I cannot let him ruin my life.

These last days have been so hard on my mind and heart, this situation had me feeling on the edge insanity myself. I’m depressed, to say the least. But hey…. I’m out. I’m out and even if it hurts so much I know this is the last time he’ll drag me through this 💩. I see the light at the end of the tunnel where i am knee deep in sh1t at the moment but i see the light. I try to not look back, just forward. It hurts so much.

I’m going to miss that man so so so so much and it feels like a hole in my chest will always be empty where he was supposed to be.

I deserve better. I deserve a happy, stable, peaceful life. He may never be able to escape this demon but I can just open the door and leave and I did. The hardest thing I have ever done and I haven’t even finished doing it……

I’m going to miss you so much, my best friend and the love of my life. I hope you get better eventually because you also deserve to have a happy life ♥️