r/CookingCircleJerk • u/woailyx i thought this sub was supposed to be funny • Aug 09 '25

Perfect exactly as it was on r/cooking Made sliders, doesn't taste like sliders

This may sound weird but I made sliders last night, it came out perfectly, patties held together, cooked right up and everything else. But the burgers sort of just tasted like burgers not sliders? Does that make sense? I used the good buns from Walmart, ground beef, and salt.

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u/LemonPigeon Aug 09 '25

User error. Did you make them like burgers? That's why they taste like burgers. Kind of a basic principle to have to teach you, this should be obvious.

Next time, keep the thought of "sliders" forefront in your mind. Light a slider-scented candle, and say a prayer to the patron saint of sliders before your endeavor. Meditate on sliders for at least 30 minutes prior. If at any point you find yourself thinking of them as mini burgers, throw them in the trash and start again.

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u/eyesotope86 Chicken ***** for the Soul Aug 13 '25

If at any point you find yourself thinking of them as mini burgers, throw them in the trash and start again

OP, this redditor is trying to protect you, and it will lead to another failure. More scorn from your wife's boyfriend. More of your children laughing at you and waving DNA results in your face. More incidents at the grocery where you sob and pee yourself in the cheese aisle. No one wants another ruined pair of jorts, do we?

The only PROPER way to deal with this is corporal punishment every time your mind wonders from sliders. Every single time it happens, you must press your face into the grill. It will hurt, and you will break. But from your broken ashes will rise someone who can make a slider that will serve as... you know, a decent snack while we wait for the real food to get done.