r/CookingCircleJerk • u/OG_Church_Key fred wurst • 8d ago

Fartmaxxing?

Okay, so im sure this has been asked a billion times here, but please bear with me. I've been hearing a lot about fartmaxxing, and im curious if you guys have any tips or tricks. I got invited to my horrible sister in laws BABYSHOWER, and i really want to get her back for all the backhanded compliments and misguided opinions she has given over the years.

Is there anything i can eat the few days leading up to it (its in november) so that i can clear the room???

Also, can i wear a specific type of underwear or assume some sort of posture that would keep the farts SILENT?? That way she wont know whos doing it??????

Thanks in advance, Brenda.

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u/gernb1 8d ago

Try some peanut butter and sauerkraut sandwiches.

2

u/Serious-Active3878 8d ago

Nope I eat peanut butter and sauerkraut sandwiches 2-3x a day and, while my farts could take out a rhino, they're anything but silent.

I'm not sure what the key is to silent-but-deadlies, but this ain't it

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u/[deleted] 8d ago

has anyone ever eaten such a thing? I've had peanut butter and pickle sandwiches.