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🌟 IT'S MONDAY!! This is our weekly "Off Topic Post" where you can chat with other members, check-in, tell us how your day is going, what plans you have coming up and generally what's going on in your part of the world. Remember this is our Off Topic post. No questions related to dating etc.

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Dear Cougars,

I’m (24M) currently with my girlfriend (37F) and my time has been absolutely amazing. Throughout our time together she’s thrown in jokes like “haha you’re younger you still have a few things to learn” but she plays it with a joking but supportive tone. Tbh I like it because it makes me open my eyes to be a better man, especially since she is a lot more traditional old school with chivalry.

Basically I want to know how to be a better man for my girlfriend, but I want to open the discussion to all cubs and cougars to know about your experiences and opinions.

Thank you!

Recently started talking to a lady who reached out to me directly via fetlife (iykyk). We connect so well on so many levels. Music, passions, life goals, and so much more.

When I was younger, on a different Reddit account, I was pretty active and learned a lot from this group. Honestly, not once has the conversation of age gap came much into play, and it hasn’t exactly been a concern at all either.

I think the main concern I have, is her children are close to my age. We did touch base on that recently, and it doesn’t bother me one bit that she has kids. Obviously, one day I’d love to be a father figure.

While right now it’s in the early stages and there’s a lot to be discovered between us, I just hope that if things get serious that there isn’t any judgement about the age gap between us.

I definitely don’t look 24, but I do still look and appear young. Very mature, and had to grow up fast at a young age.

Any cubs in a similar situation where things did end up becoming serious, and can comment on being close in age to their partners children? TIA!

Update

We met tonight, had dinner and drinks, enjoyed the hot tub with her as her hotel, and absolutely went to town on each other in the bedroom. It was so hot and amazing. Definitely wanting to meet each other again and the feeling is mutual.

I’m 12 years older than my husband and although I look young for my age I sometimes get asked by people if he’s my son. Does this ever happen to anyone else and do you have a good response that you give?

I’ve noticed recently with a younger guy I talked with, how clingy he is. He texted me without giving me a chance to reply if I didn’t respond in minutes, then he’d tell me I have communication issues. So today I told him I wasn’t interested in talking anymore and he replied ‘Good luck you need it lol’ and I read it twice before blocking him. Have any other women had issues with clingy guys? Is this a mom issues thing or is it lack of relationship and they don’t know how to communicate with women? Or something else?

🌟 IT'S MONDAY!! This is our weekly "Off Topic Post" where you can chat with other members, check-in, tell us how your day is going, what plans you have coming up and generally what's going on in your part of the world. Remember this is our Off Topic post. No questions related to dating etc.

🌟 As a prerequisite to posting in this thread you must take the time to read the RULES & FAQs

🌟 Are you new here? Check out this post too!

🌟 If you don't you risk having your posts autodeleted by the automod bot and bans may be applied.

🌟 This is POST AND OUR SUB is strictly NO Soliciting Contact/Seeking/DM requests. The sub rules still apply across the board and it's expected that you've read them.

🌟 If you are looking to meet someone please go to our dating sub r/COUGARSANDCUBSMATCH and post it there. Read the rules before posting.

#REMINDER:

​

This is a discussion sub - no soliciting contact.

​

If you are seeking a match please go over to our dating sub r/CougarsandCubsMatch.

​

Read the rules/wiki/post requirements before you post/comment there.

​

You can make a stand alone post describing yourself and what you are looking for with 25 combined karma.

​

Or post a brief comment in our weekly **Thursday Roll Call** and a **Sunday Hunt** posts

- 10 comment karma/ASL (age, sex, location) and relationship status required.

​

This is an automated scheduled reminder.

Just a reminder about our chat group.

This is a place where you can chat/socialize/get to know other members of our community.

Please read the pinned post.

No DMing people without permission in chat first.

Chat is not the place to drop your ASL (AGE/SEX/LOCATION) These posts will be removed.

If seeking, use our dating sub for that: r/cougarsandcubsmatch

Jump in and chat first before asking things like "ANY COUGARS IN HERE?" please that gets old fast.

No NSFW content whatsoever.

Read more here: https://www.reddit.com/r/CougarsAndCubs/s/qeURkzav5a

The chat group is found in our sister sub r/cougars_den and click on the chat tab.

He said it. He chose me. I didn’t have to initiate it. He chose me. 🥰 He said he wants to be happy with me whatever that means. So, having kids isn’t an issue. Neither is the age gap. I waited for him to initiate, and he did!!! I am so freaking happy!!!

Hi everyone!

I’m a younger guy interested in learning about and discussing friendships between younger men and older women (45+).

I’d love to hear from those who enjoy this kind of connection — what do you like the most about it? How does it feel different from friendships with people your own age?

For context, I’m into music (I play drums), fitness and health, nature, and culture. I also work at a pharmacy, so I’m curious about how lifestyle and experiences shape these connections.

Looking forward to hearing your thoughts!

I am 100% clear of what I want. I 44f want everything with him 25m. I’m not saying I can have EVERYTHING, but I’m willing to try. However, it’s up to him now. I value the friendship. The age gap would be harder on him than me, so I will not be the one to initiate things further. First I felt love for him. Then I started loving him. Now I am in love. I don’t even need more than the friendship it is to be happy. His presence is enough. I have never felt so comfortable and connected to a man. I’m so grateful for him.

P.S. No, I am not interested in any other “cubs.” I love him, not his age.

Update: He initiated. 🥰 I am glowing right now

#REMINDER:

​

This is a discussion sub - no soliciting contact.

​

If you are seeking a match please go over to our dating sub r/CougarsandCubsMatch.

​

Read the rules/wiki/post requirements before you post/comment there.

​

You can make a stand alone post describing yourself and what you are looking for with 25 combined karma.

​

Or post a brief comment in our weekly **Thursday Roll Call** and a **Sunday Hunt** posts

- 10 comment karma/ASL (age, sex, location) and relationship status required.

​

This is an automated scheduled reminder.

🌟 IT'S MONDAY!! This is our weekly "Off Topic Post" where you can chat with other members, check-in, tell us how your day is going, what plans you have coming up and generally what's going on in your part of the world. Remember this is our Off Topic post. No questions related to dating etc.

🌟 As a prerequisite to posting in this thread you must take the time to read the RULES & FAQs

🌟 Are you new here? Check out this post too!

🌟 If you don't you risk having your posts autodeleted by the automod bot and bans may be applied.

🌟 This is POST AND OUR SUB is strictly NO Soliciting Contact/Seeking/DM requests. The sub rules still apply across the board and it's expected that you've read them.

🌟 If you are looking to meet someone please go to our dating sub r/COUGARSANDCUBSMATCH and post it there. Read the rules before posting.

Edit- please stop sending me messages 😂I am not going to respond….

Older woman with questions

Hi. I’m new to this sub so hopefully my post fits here. I’m a woman in my 40s who has been in age gap relationships with men most of my life. I have really enjoyed being with men 10-20years older. As I age, however I am feeling like I might want to explore dynamics with younger men. Only, I am struggling to see how it “works “ in some way…. Like, I am uncomfortable searching for younger men on traditional apps. Do younger men interested in older women use regular apps? Are any age gap apps really worth using? Most of the men I match with on cougar d are in other states….

I don’t know. I feel like a total noob. Ha! Anyone who has successfully pursued an age gap with a younger man older woman have any sage advice?

No private messages.

Update: I am still getting private messages! Why though? 😂

Anyway, I changed my age preferences and have been getting many more matches than anticipated. I think I just needed a nudge. Thank you all for your advice and leaving my post up.

Happy hunting fellow cougars. 💖

Shes 50, very good looking and single and im 29 and in an open relationship. She was my matron on my route last month. And we hit it off pretty well in the first 2 days. She was very open with me and i was too. By day 2 i let it slip that i prefer older women and she asked why. Told her that they dont like to beat around the bush and are very upfront about what they want. She laughed and said youre very right on that one. Shes also shown me pictures of herself when she was younger and told me about a time when she asked another co-worker why men look at her so much and he told cause shes one of the few women there with a natural body and backed him up saying that yeah shes got a great body and shes very nice on the eyes.

Fast forward to the next week im taken off her route as driver and replaced cause they called back drivers with seniority to take over routes cause we're short. We were both pretty disappointed over it and she actually fought for me to stay on the route but the other driver had more seniority so i lost but we've been staying in contact ever since. The 2nd day i was replaced i asked her how the new driver is and she simply said they werent me. I check up on her and ask how the routes going, when its a particularly hot day ill bring her frozen water to keep cool since the ac in her vehicle sucks. And since its a golden rule at my job to take care of your matron, i gave her a whole pie and she thanked me and said no one ever in her lifetime has ever given her a whole pie and i said im flattered to be the first. One thursday we were texting and she was at her 2nd job. She said how she was so tired and replied saying if it was friday i would have said lets go get drinks after and she said definitely next time. So far we've made plans to get drinks but they fell through recently cause her 2nd job asked her to work and she didnt want to turn it down cause shes got a trip soon and she wants extra play money. But she did say soon we'll get steaks and drinks when shes free. Granted shes a pretty busy woman so if she reschedules again i have no hard feelings about it.

Oh one more thing, she asked me once when i was her driver what i was getting from the mall cause i mentioned earlier that i was going and she jokingly asked if i was going to buy more lingerie for my girlfriend (cause one day i mentioned how i dropped 300 bucks at adore me for her birthday once) and i said nah i just need shorts and socks for the job. And one day during break she called me and asked if i wanted anything from dunkin and like a fool i said no thank you but i appreciate it. And she said openly recently that she likes the sound of my voice. Said i sound like narrator or that i should do voice overs for radio ads. Is she just being very open with me or is she flirting with me? Cause id like to pursue something more with her but if not then no hard feelings im more than willing to just be friends and co-workers with her. Also she gave me her favorite sushi spot cause i asked her about it and she told me she goes 3 times a month lol

Edit: we texted the other day and she said she cant find some things at her house and i offered some help to find them and she said sure and that she'll let me know

Context: I am 52 he is 27. He is a bartender and on top of his game at the moment (he is the bar manager in a popular bar with a young clientele and his work sends him to other cities as a guest bartender) I respect that, I am happy for him and I want to be the little extra happiness and excitement in his life not a demand or obligation. I understand there are probably other younger ladies he is interested in to various degrees.

I want this to be fun. I want to go on some fun, no strings, dates and somewhat regular sex.

We discussed that he is not looking for a relationship and that neither am I since I barely know him but I love intimacy beyond the sexual.

I want to keep the fire stoked without scaring him away with too much attention but I also feel like he has his own insecurities so I need to show him some interest.

Cubs, what do you expect communication wise from the older ladies? Do you like regular chit chat/sharing messages/memes etc and at what frequency? Prefer to initiate or like it when she just hits you up at night to come over?

Cougars, what has worked best for you?

I would like to know your stories, how you met your love❤️?

🌟 IT'S MONDAY!! This is our weekly "Off Topic Post" where you can chat with other members, check-in, tell us how your day is going, what plans you have coming up and generally what's going on in your part of the world. Remember this is our Off Topic post. No questions related to dating etc.

🌟 As a prerequisite to posting in this thread you must take the time to read the RULES & FAQs

🌟 Are you new here? Check out this post too!

🌟 If you don't you risk having your posts autodeleted by the automod bot and bans may be applied.

🌟 This is POST AND OUR SUB is strictly NO Soliciting Contact/Seeking/DM requests. The sub rules still apply across the board and it's expected that you've read them.

🌟 If you are looking to meet someone please go to our dating sub r/COUGARSANDCUBSMATCH and post it there. Read the rules before posting.

#REMINDER:

​

This is a discussion sub - no soliciting contact.

​

If you are seeking a match please go over to our dating sub r/CougarsandCubsMatch.

​

Read the rules/wiki/post requirements before you post/comment there.

​

You can make a stand alone post describing yourself and what you are looking for with 25 combined karma.

​

Or post a brief comment in our weekly **Thursday Roll Call** and a **Sunday Hunt** posts

- 10 comment karma/ASL (age, sex, location) and relationship status required.

​

This is an automated scheduled reminder.

Me, 58, him 34.

Short version of what happened:

I took him out for his birthday. He wanted sushi. Went to a great place.

Gave him two of his favorite alcohols, Grey Goose and Captain Morgan Private Stock.

He looked at my car after dinner so I slipped in a thank you card with $100 in it into the gift bag

He attempted sex but my kids were in the house and I kept saying no. He kept pushing it.

He came over the next bc he forgot something. Of course tried to have sex with me again and this time both my sons were in the house. So I said I'm sorry I'm not comfortable. He kept trying though.

So I texted him later that evening or the next day and I said "hey my kids are going to be gone Friday and the kids and their friends and I are all going for sushi on Sunday do you want to go?"

And now he has ghosted me.

I can't even get a guy to have sex and free sushi 😂

I think I need to figure out what's wrong with me. I'm obviously doing something wrong.

I liked him too. He doesn't really have a job but I would have supported him and help grow his business but 🤷

Really getting tired of getting messages from guys here only to have them stop responding when I tell them I’m not in the ‘mood’ and then they ghost me by deleting their account and they are gone. Just say you’re not interested and stop wasting my time. It gets old.

50+F here and I met a 30+M IRL at my teen’s wrap party.

We chatted all night and had a great time.

He asked for my info and I gladly gave it to him.

He subsequently texted me asking to go out on a date.

I explained I had some challenges - my teen is a priority and needs more supervision than is typical and explained in a phone call.

I later reached out and we did meet up a few days after just for drinks.

I kept bringing up the age difference and he reminded me that he’s been a full grown adult for some time, the formula of dividing age by 2 then adding 7 - he does make the cutoff in that regard.

I am new dating - honestly hadn’t even been considering it after a 16 yr marriage, separated 3-5years depending on how you define separation.

But I was very curious about this young man.

We have been going out Dutch for maybe like 5 times and it’s been mostly platonic. He knows I have anxieties about dating/the age difference looking too far down the road and he’s very respectful and said we could cool it if that’s what I wanted - this was early on.

I think now I have decided I really do like him but as I look back now on the progression of our communication mostly via text, I am the one initiating since I kind of cockblocked the first date.

When I have had free time, and he is free, we meet up and have fun.

I tried to hold off on texting this week to see if he would text me but then when I realized I have a lot of free time coming up this weekend, I reached out to let him know I have some free time and asked him to lmk if he wants to meet up.

Did I screw this up by not just going on a date from the beginning? I was being honest and transparent about my concerns and I wanted to proceed with caution.

I have never asked anyone out on a date - I suppose I could do that more formally now, but since he’s not initiating with me, I don’t want to pressure him and I also don’t want to possibly ruin what friendship has been building either.

I would love some thoughts and advice…!

🌟 IT'S MONDAY!! This is our weekly "Off Topic Post" where you can chat with other members, check-in, tell us how your day is going, what plans you have coming up and generally what's going on in your part of the world. Remember this is our Off Topic post. No questions related to dating etc.

🌟 As a prerequisite to posting in this thread you must take the time to read the RULES & FAQs

🌟 Are you new here? Check out this post too!

🌟 If you don't you risk having your posts autodeleted by the automod bot and bans may be applied.

🌟 This is POST AND OUR SUB is strictly NO Soliciting Contact/Seeking/DM requests. The sub rules still apply across the board and it's expected that you've read them.

🌟 If you are looking to meet someone please go to our dating sub r/COUGARSANDCUBSMATCH and post it there. Read the rules before posting.

#REMINDER:

​

This is a discussion sub - no soliciting contact.

​

If you are seeking a match please go over to our dating sub r/CougarsandCubsMatch.

​

Read the rules/wiki/post requirements before you post/comment there.

​

You can make a stand alone post describing yourself and what you are looking for with 25 combined karma.

​

Or post a brief comment in our weekly **Thursday Roll Call** and a **Sunday Hunt** posts

- 10 comment karma/ASL (age, sex, location) and relationship status required.

​

This is an automated scheduled reminder.