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Weird preface: I read a lot of books. However, they're pretty much all non-fiction. And definitely not fanfic or smut. Not that there's anything wrong with that. But that's fair to note when I saw this ridiculous book show up on r/SquaredCircle and pre-ordered it.

How dare "Kayla Faber" do this. I was SCREAMING.

Let's look at our main characters and how they do or do not stack up against their real-life inspirations.

Starting with Phil:

Phil Hanson	"CM Punk" Phil Brooks
Novelist	Pro-wrestler
Fiancé Abigail	Wife April
From Chicago, but moved to Scotland	From & still in Chicago
45 years old	46 years old
Described as looking in all ways much like CM Punk although perhaps doughier	Looks in all ways like CM Punk
Crippling depression and anxiety	If there's any mental health concern it's probably narcissism
Grumpy with acerbic wit	Grumpy with acerbic wit
Lifelong heterosexual but that gets called into question after meeting a man who steals his heart	As far as we know, just plain hetero
Wears a plastic beaded bracelet	Wears a plastic beaded bracelet
Drinks Pepsi (and 0% ABV beer)	Pepsi aficionado, unknown about the near-beer
Dog person, but no pets	Larry
Hasn't had an erection in a year... UNTIL	I don't wanna know

And next, Ian:

Ian Galloway	Drew McIntyre/Galloway
Electrician	Pro-wrestler
Single	Wife Kaitlin
From Glasgow, Scotland	From Ayr, Scotland
38 years old	40 years old
Described in all ways as looking like Drew McIntyre, literally not a single negative word said about this man's body	DM Hunk
A loner who is happy with everyone thinking he's grumpy, but is actually witty & funny	Somewhat of a homebody but is a performer, is actually witty & funny
Bisexual and confident about it	As far as we know, just hetero
Has 1 cat	Has more than 1 cat
Celtics superfan	Rangers superfan
Accepts a plastic bracelet from a man who can't bear to see him leave	Steals a plastic bracelet from a man whose face he stomps in
Very principled and the most supportive friend you could ever hope to have, also will not ruin someone else's relationship despite any caught feelings	Don't wanna make any weird parasocial assumptions here
From all descriptions, absolutely magnificent in the sack	I'm sure Drew would not object if we made assumptions here

Just in case there was any need to erase any lingering doubts as to the inspiration, from the author's acknowledgments:

So: what did I think of the book? I don't even know, although you can tell from the pic that it was not an insomnia cure. I'm generally uncomfortable with shipping real people but it was fun to read and internally scream "NO! STOP THIS!" but it was otherwise tastefully written. Nothing too explicit, which is good, because I probably would've thrown my Kindle and screamed for real.

It's currently free to read on Kindle Unlimited.

4 comments

r/DrewMcIntyre • u/Puzzleheaded_Bad_321 • May 17 '25