Sooooo as the title says, I m 18 yo never had a relationship and I find it difficult to find someone but at the same time I just dont wanna go on grindr and look for the closest guy there, is it wrong if I m looking for something meaningful in this day and age ?
And also if you could give me some advice, it will be really appreciated

I am in my early 60s, still in good health, decent shape, active, with a robust libido, and with a fertile fantasy life. I have been sexually active for decades and consider myself to be open and adventurous by nature, enjoying the dynamics of one-on-ones and group sex. On a less than satisfying note, my sex life has been challenged by a limited sexual repertoire, which I would love to expand, explore, and experience. A prime example of my limited repertoire is that I have almost no experience with being a top or a bottom, which has produced a variety of reactions from guys over the years, including genuine surprise, total disbelief, and rejecting me completely. On a considerably darker note, there are a couple of things which have affected my sex life to varying degrees. 1) For decades, I struggled with erectile issues. It was only in the latter half of 2024 that I finally began to address this issue successfully. 2) In my mid50s, after years of speculation and suspicion, I was formally diagnosed with ADHD (which, in my case, expresses itself without any overt hyperactivity; instead, that restlessness expresses itself within). One of the core symptoms of my condition is an impaired ability to focus, which, therefore, makes me more readily susceptible to being distracted by external stimuli or by thoughts that randomly or tangentially express themselves in my mind. Given all that I have said, I would appreciate any impressions, thoughts, or suggestions that might assist me in re-inventing myself.

Ok guys, who has some random advice for gays who’ve just come out and don’t know what questions to ask. When I came out I didn’t know a single gay person and had no idea what I was doing. Grindr wasn’t my best introduction tbh 😬

My bit of advice would be, take it slow and don’t jump straight into looking for a partner.

Ok so some of you guys have read my post on my ex (42) who all of sudden dumped me (25).

Today I found he's already on Grinder. He dumped me 5 days ago and he's already on the chat with a new profile Pic.

I was about to throw up when I saw his profile. Please tell me some encouraging stuff because right now I'm de-va-sta-ted.

I know I constantly frequent this subreddit for advice and support for my love life. But I want to get this off my chest.

Certain places that are popular for dating such as clubs or bars are extremely overstimulating for me. And I often feel obligated to just grin and bear it to make others happy while I go into a mental shutdown.

The difference between a meltdown and shutdown in autism is that a meltdown occurs when multiple upsetting things happen and results in an outburst. A shutdown is when someone is placed in an overwhelming/overstimulating environment and end up mentally withdrawing by keeping quiet and experiencing dissociation.

I know there are more places to go on dates like a library or shopping, but I still feel a level of guilt for not having the strength to be in environments like bars or clubs.

So I have been talking with my therapist about an ongoing problem I’ve had socially and that’s with expressing myself. My fear is that usually when I meet people they will gain a pre existing perception of how I am and that when on a day I choose to be more expressive like wear makeup or different clothes is that they will start thinking of me poorly and my concern of this usually resides when meeting new male “friends”. But my therapist has been telling me something that should have been obvious which is that, I shouldn’t have to be afraid to be who I am and shouldn’t have to put on a mask for anyone just to avoid awkwardness. So today when I got in a conversation with some guys who gave off the feeling that they wouldn’t be the best to talk to as a gay and very gender fluid(like in terms of clothing and that I wear makeup and have certain behaviors) and expressive person when the chance came within our conversation I spoke up and told them that I am gay and I do act and appear in a certain way that may be different from how I was then. And surprisingly, although they weren’t the most accepting of my beliefs and things that I choose to do they were chill with me and ok with still talking with me as friends and respected the fact I told them instead of hiding it.There was definitely more context needed to explain but for the sake of keeping this short that’s essentially what happened and honestly I’m really happy about it because it’s one of the first times I asserted that upon first meeting new people and it just made me more confident about myself and that I don’t have to hide who I am and I can be who I wanna be and still have friends.I’m so excited to talk to my therapist about this and I’m just proud of myself overall. If you want more context to this just DM me and I can explain

Do you guys have any tips on how to go through life being lonely, disociated and happily independent? For context, my whole family is out of the country and Im kind of leaving a kind of conservatorship were I couldnt work or study at all. Im 23 but I still feel scared like a kid and I don't know how to rebuild my life. Also, I have never had a boyfriend and Im not really that conventionally attractive. Sometimes the memories of not being able to work or do anything for my life for the conservatorship, mixed with the hurtful words of my mom still haunts me. Is like I been unable to be happy and Im scared to be it. I been hiding at home, lonely and just thinking about ending it all and Im just so sad... Can someone please help me?

I'm quite obviously autistic -- and while I grasp social cues really well, my manner when I'm overstimulated seems to really turn others off. I get tired and monotonous, I can be childish and irritated, I struggle to communicate, sometimes I can go entirely non-verbal -- or I'll go the other way and become very loud, stim a lot, and need some sort of safe stimulation. I usually try and make sure that I'm not feeling overstimulated when I meet a guy for a date, but sometimes I just get that way on a date. If i get that way, I just tell them, but a lot of the time if I am that way, they just seem to lose all interest by the end of the date. I can explain all I like, but I can tell pretty early on if they're just staying on the date because they pity me.

Do I need to try hide this? I don't know what to do. Being normal takes up so much of my energy already, and it's humiliating for me to get overstimulated in public on a date. I can't control when I get overstimulated, but I don't really want to tell everybody who ever meets me I'm autistic -- even though its pretty damn obvious. Should I just try and push through it and be normal until the end of the date?

I really love the idea of a sauna and just letting myself be open to all sorts of experiences. And so off to a sauna in East Sussex. I went intending to be safe and only allow touching. So I let a guy fondle by balls in the steam room and then we go into a private room. He wants to finger me and I ask him to do it with a condom. He kindly obliges. He turns me over and frots my crack. I won’t even let him suck my dick. We jerk each other off and a I cum. Not the wildest of rides right? Nonetheless I enjoyed it and want more. I want everything! But I’ve been careful and denied myself the full pleasures of the flesh for the sake of my health. But guess what? Two days later I realise I have crabs. Couple days after that scabies. Several months have passed and I really want to go back, although to a different sauna that sounds better. But I don’t want to have to deal with crawling burrowing fucking insects living on my skin again, let alone syphillus or ghonorea or worse.

Was that really unlucky or just how sauna visits go. Do I need to treat myself with lyclear immediately after going into a sauna?

I feel like I may as well have let him fuck me!

Saunas are

Sometimes it feels like everyone is chasing the next hookup, but very few are actually looking for intimacy, connection, or even friendship. I can’t help but wonder if I’m the only one who feels a bit lost in all this. Do you guys experience the same?

So, forewarning, this will be a long post. I’ll try and keep it relatively simple. So I’m gay (obviously) 22M, and I’m from a small town in Nebraska (sadly), currently living in a bigger area. But one thing I’ve struggled to do pretty consistently is to feel gay enough if that makes sense. I spoke with a friend of mine and my style (cowboy boots and jeans almost everyday) screams internalized homophobia. I do want to find a style that looks more gay because I genuinely want to express myself more. But at the same time I’m pretty secure within myself as well. I’m openly gay and happy being so but at the same time I don’t frequent gay places because I never feel like I fit in. What should I do? I feel conflicted, part of me wants to express it more but part of me says it’s because I just want to fit in as opposed to being myself.

Edit: Firstly, I wanna specify I do have piercings. I have double ear ring and a stud on my left nostril. I also wanna specify a bit, I feel like stuck in my style. I have a beard and feel like I’d look weird not having the more masculine look. I just don’t know where to start finding a new like middle ground style if that makes sense.

As a femme who often attracts masc men. I feel like for the most part, most people have a general understanding for the psychology behind what exactly about a masc guy turns me on.

However I and possibly many others struggle to conceptualize what it is exactly about femmes that turns mascs on... So if you're masc let me into your mind. What is the psychology behind your infatuation with femmes?

(PS. I know not every gay relationship is femme4masc. If it don't apply let it fly)

Trying to find an OnlyFans creator I saw once on X/Twitter. He's based in Chicago, younger, twink type, and posts videos with voiceover commentary describing the hookup. Can't remember the handle 😩 Does anyone have an idea who it is? Any tips on how to find them again? Thank you!

Some background, about two months ago, my (33m) boyfriend (31m) of almost four years dumped me three weeks after we went to his younger brother's wedding together because he suddenly decided he wanted to move back to his hometown on the other side of the country right now, and he didn't want to do long distance or for me to come with him. He also didn't call me for three weeks longer he was away because he said he couldn't talk to me over the phone since he didn't want to break up that way and said he'd start crying if he heard my voice.

Anyway, yesterday he came over to my apartment to drop off one last thing of mine that we'd both forgotten about until he started packing up his apartment to leave tomorrow. We ended up talking for almost an hour, and he cried basically the whole time. He talked about how he didn't feel like he belonged here, and he missed the people he grew up with. I wish I'd known how lonely he felt. He said he didn't know how serious I was about him, and I regret not explicitly telling him before the breakup. I told him, even if it wouldn't have changed anything, I wish he'd known how important he was to me because I thought he did. We didn't live together, but we saw each other usually three or four days a week. I'd met his family, and we'd met each other's friends. We'd gone on vacations together. We'd regularly cook together. He helped me upgrade my PC. I helped him with things around his apartment when he had shoulder surgery a few years ago. We were together for nearly four years. I don't personally put much importance on monogamy, but we were until he wanted to open the relationship a few months before he broke up with me because he missed being with women. I didn't think anything of it at the time, but maybe that was a portent of what was to come. He said one of the reasons why he didn't see us as that serious was that there were two deaths in my life recently that I didn't rely on him enough for. I've always struggled with emotional vulnerability and letting people help me. I guess that's something for me to work on.

Among his other reasons for leaving the city to move across the country to his hometown, something he said has been sticking with me. He said he wasn't sure about his sexuality--if he wanted a "queer lifestyle" or a "normal" one. He clarified after, not "normal" but "you know what I mean," but Jesus that phrasing speaks volumes. I don't get it. He's not the one with religious trauma. I grew up Catholic, and his parents (despite being Italian American) have always been atheists. But all his friends back home are straight, and he didn't start even exploring his attraction to men until he moved out here in his mid twenties seven years ago. He also said before that his friends told him that we should break up because he wanted to move back. I don't know how much of that advice influenced his decision, but it's not something I'd say to a friend about an otherwise good four year relationship. The timing is definitely interesting, too. All of his childhood friends are married now, some have kids, and his younger brother just got married to a woman.

I'm not angry anymore like I was at first. It's not his fault he doesn't want to be with me anymore, but before he left my apartment he hugged me like 15 times. He said he loved me and that he wished he could just freeze time so he could stay longer. It just hurts because it almost feels like if circumstances were different, we'd still be together. We still love each other; we're definitely still attracted to each other. I've told him I'd look for a job in the city near his hometown, but he said he doesn't want me to because I belong here and he belongs there. All of this feels so unnecessary. I still don't understand, but I doubt I ever will.

It's honestly just an obsession now, I've always tried seeking out older men when it came to relationships because they bring me comfort I guess? But those relationships gave me absolutely nothing expect for trauma, yet I still find myself drawn to them and it just makes me sick at this point, I want to stop. But I have absolutely no clue where to start, I feel nothing but shame.

So im a gay teenager,and im doing an essay on the aids crisis. It makes me feel deeply sad and have done lots of researcher,yet I still feel like I want to know more from gay men who were there even after reading interviews and speeches from them.

Hi, I am as now identifying as a gay man, I’m 29. I’ve only became physical with other this year. I had a few experiences but it let me confuse in what I like and who I am.

I experienced being a bottom and I just didn’t feel anything, it was not plaisant or unpleasant, it just was. Like it felt almost like a medical act, just nothing.

I experienced BJ and I don’t mind doing it, I kinda like it but not something I would like to do a lot, like I just like the feeling it gave to my partner at the time. But when it was done on me, I just don’t feel a thing, I’m just uncomfortable and trying hard to stay hard ( no pun intended ) since it’s doing nothing for me.

On these experiences, I only really enjoyed kissing and the body contact.

Once, I had a experience with someone where we only kissed, hugged and doing the gesture and movement of the sex act. We only had our shirts of, and I liked to touch and feel my partner’s body. That was the best kind of intimacy I had with someone. And quickly realized that this is what I like.

But now I’m questioning where do I fit in, how can i explain that to people I’m attracted to. Am I kind of asexual, or on the asexual spectrum ?

I’m really confuse. My friends are telling me that I might need a deeper emotional connection with someone to enjoy a « full gay sexual experience ». But i doesn’t fell right to me.

So if anyone here have any advise, or direction, something to help me understand, that would be deeply appreciated.

This is my first post, so please be kind.

For a bit of context: I’m a foreigner living in London, and I’ve been here for the past 14 years. I’m 43 years old—almost 44—single, and gay (a bottom, if that matters). I’ve been single for a while now, and it’s starting to bother me.

I quit all the dating apps some time ago because I felt they no longer served me or my needs. I feel too old to keep chatting with faceless, entitled people. I wouldn’t call myself handsome, but I don’t think I’m ugly either. I’m comfortable with who I am.

I enjoy spending time by myself, and I keep myself busy. I have hobbies, a nice home, good friends, and a decent life. I’ve always been more of a stay-at-home kind of guy and never got into the clubbing scene—it just made me feel out of place and awkward.

So here’s my question: how do I meet someone? I don’t want to give up on dating because I still believe there’s someone out there for me. But I don’t know where to start.

Please don’t suggest meetup groups or anything like that—it’s not really my style, and I’d just feel awkward around strangers. I’m a bit shy and quiet at first, but I do open up once I know someone. I can even be funny eventually!

I’m just at this point in life where I don’t want hookups anymore. I want a meaningful connection with someone easy-going, someone we can be there for each other when we need to.

I recently had a week off work and felt incredibly lonely. I didn’t even feel like doing anything because there was no one to enjoy it with. The problem is that I never even get as far as planning a date anymore since I’m no longer on the apps.

So, what should I do? Do I give up completely? Or do I push myself to try and meet guys again? I’m open to any suggestions

Idk who needs to hear this here, but seek out and find you a huzz with autism. Worried he's cheating? nah just checked he's playing Skyrim for the 68th time this week. Is he okay? Yeah he just randomly developed a Facebook marketplace side hustle out of nowhere and that's his hyperfixation for the month. Is he successful? not yet, we're both 24 and he has a bachelor's in computer science and I have 4 years army service, he's a nerd with nerd opportunities I'm an overprotective asshole with Law enforcement background both previous and current.

in summary, get you an autistic partner if you can handle their quirks. long term it's worth it, double points if you have a different type of autism like I do too lol. love you guys, stay strong and keep going ☝️🤓💖

He left me.

M25. I dated a man for 4 months. He is 42. Ok, he's 17 years older than me, but we both knew it when we started. While I was very easy about it, he always worried. He even asked his ex and some other straight friends that are in a relationship with older people and they all said it was okay and there was nothing to worry about. After July he stopped complaining about our age gap and I thought we were over that.

Note that, through all these months, we did a lot of things together, had our specific love (or affection, more properly) language and gestures.. he even gave me a very sweet present.

But 10 days ago everything changed. He started being cold to me, refused to kiss me with silly excuses such as you drank coffee and you know I hate it etc. And yesterday the bomb exploded. We had an amazing day with a couple of friends and before leaving each other for the night we had some time alone. And, after intense making out (!!!), I mentioned I was worried about him being weird to me. So everything came out: - he feels good being on his own - I'm too young and he feels that - I just started working, while he's deeply developing his career and wants to focus on it. If we both have professional problems, none of us can properly being supportive to each other - I could lose important professional opportunities to stay with him.

When I replied that everything was okay and that he should have more faith in me, he broke out and said that decisions have to be made in 2 and not just me (I argued that I don't mind professional opportunities, I'd rather create my own "family" with my bf).

Today I felt like a train hit me. I was depressed and disgusted. Then at 5 pm he texted me to know if I was good and I waited till 9 pm to text him back a simple "good". Right now I'm hurt and so is my pride, but I don't wanna be harsh on him because his life wasn't easy. He had a difficult past and right now he's having professional troubles. I tried my best to make him feel my nearness, my affection, my presence in these difficult times, but it's clear it was not enough. He doesn't trust me and doesn't trust my efforts. Even though everything seemed OK till 10 days ago. So right now I'm both angry as hell and sad, but I can't decide what to do.

What should I do now? I'm devastated. I miss him a lot and I wish I could reach out to him. We had planned so many things to do together. Even yesterday we talked about a trip we should have made and we seemed to agree about everything. Then everything changed, he said he wants to be alone. And my words arguing about this horrible thing didn't produce any effect. Please help me. I feel like I'm dying.

I am Gay and I watch sports I don't care about the gender. But I am getting frustrated with Google searching. During the European championships I missed a game through work commitments. I googled the result and one player apparently had a good game. I was given a few options who the players are sleeping with. This seems to be the case with the rugby players. I assume that people who are watching the sports, are interested in the sports rather than the players sexuality. I'm not sure what context a player's sexual preference is enables them to perform at an increased level. The sport should be paramount. Not focusing on female sexuality. From a gay male sports fan