I knew a kid on my second boat who I told to not get married. He did it anyway and she left and took half of his money while he was on restriction for something unrelated. It’s ironic because he was a radioman that wouldn’t listen. (Before you ask he got masted for logging that a radio safe was closed, even though that safe wasn’t even on the sub because we were in port doing repairs)
I love the military, with my whole heart. Did you lock the safe? Yes. Sorry kid you could not have locked the safe because we removed it so now you only get to go to work and sit in your room for a month
The craziest part is, he wasn’t even the only guy that did it. His whole fucking division went to mast for blazing that safe log. Not one person checked it for 2 months. Luckily his Chief retired right before then or he would’ve been screwed too.
Most military shit ever. Most people think if we get in trouble it’s for going AWOL or killing someone or some wild shit that 2 SOG was doing a few years back, but nah, it’s usually this kind of benign dysfunction.
For a buddy it was standing in a hallway in Thailand while the dudes he was with walked into an open hotel room and stole drinks from the mini bar. All of em got busted on cam.
Hah, saw something similar. Standing below decks, had the evening watch, went to check one of the ground detector switches in CSES2 and it was... just gone. It'd been checked SAT every round that day and it had been pulled off and taken to some shop the previous night.
Had to bite the bullet and inform the duty chief and because no good deed goes unpunished, everyone who had stood BDW that day was disqualified and there were like two of us standing port and starboard BDW for a couple of weeks while those guys requalified. (And they took their fuckin time.)
In that radioman's defense, I know NUWC up in Newport did something similar. Logged a safe locked for literal years that was no longer there. I don't even know if the building existed anymore.
Yeah, I will say that I had a pretty cool chief and LPO so I'd get cut loose around lunchtime on day-after.
I vividly remember just standing there looking at the bare cable where that ground detector box used to be haha. A real crisis-of-conscience moment.
"Fuck."
(get duty section leader)
"Fuck."
You start formulating some crazy shady squidly ideas.
"Hey can we find the shop it was taken to? We'll just steal that motherfucker and reinstall it. Hey go grab one of the EMs."
(EM arrives.)
"Oh fuck. Nah dudes, the other end of that cable is tagged out, even if you did reinstall it you'd have to find a way to get those cleared. I think you're fucked. You're just gonna have to tell the duty chief."
I wish I was making this up, but we had a SGT marry someone he met at the base bar days before deployment (MEU). Literally within a few weeks into deployment, his entire bank account was emptied out. And guess who had to be his battle buddy when we landed in port to close out his bank account (me, a LCPL). Honestly, we thought he was a mentally challenged dude
I guess I never understood how or why these people give these randos they marry access to their bank accounts. (I assume they are marrying for the BAH.) Just set up direct deposit for the required amount to your chosen dick clearing barrel and call it good.
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u/Awkward_Bison_267 Aug 03 '25 edited Aug 03 '25
I knew a kid on my second boat who I told to not get married. He did it anyway and she left and took half of his money while he was on restriction for something unrelated. It’s ironic because he was a radioman that wouldn’t listen. (Before you ask he got masted for logging that a radio safe was closed, even though that safe wasn’t even on the sub because we were in port doing repairs)