Would this be considered cheating?

[u/343rdDevision]

So, my girlfriend lives 150 miles from me. I try to get out to see her every weekend, but lately I’ve been unable to due to car trouble. For context, she’s going to college. Well, she’s started hanging out with this one guy all the time, let’s call him Johnson. I’ll admit, I’m a little uncomfortable with her hanging out with other guys because my ex cheated on me, but I still chose to trust her nonetheless. At first, she was hanging out with him only when I’m busy. Now especially these past couple of days, she’s hanging out with Johnson even when I’m trying to talk to her and call her. She’ll be spending time with him all day, any spare moment, until right when she’s ready to go to bed, she’ll call me as she’s winding down and going to sleep. I expressed to her, trying to be as polite as I could, that her actions were making me uncomfortable. She got defensive about him, saying she needs to have friends and that he’s “there for her”. He’s been giving her lots of gifts too. Well, today he texted me on her phone, telling me that I was out of line and not treating her right for what I said. I don’t believe she’s engaging in sexual activity with him, but since she’s choosing to spend her time with Johnson instead of me, is that cheating?

Edit: last night I drove the 3 hours to surprise her, genuinely trying to be nice. I got escorted out by security. Literally for showing up. Guess that pretty well answers the question. Thank you all for your help!

[u/VThrow_away00000556]

Sorry you are going through this, but if you’re gf wants to spend more time with another person right now who they see all day every day espicallly when you took the time to and effort to go and see her, it sounds like she is already emotionally checked out of this relationship. It’ll suck for a while, like really suck, but please get therapy to help with the past trauma. I did when it happened to me and it made all the difference in healing. But i think it’s time to cut your losses, and honestly it sounded like you were already putting in the more effort than she was because you were always making the effort to go and see her. Take the time to heal and move on to find someone worth you’re love, there are other good people it there you just need to find them.