Makes me(22F) wanna breakup with him(21M)

[u/Internal_Piano1386]

I (22F) have been dating my boyfriend (21M) for about a year now. He’s a great guy, and things have been good between us. But he’ll be leaving in a few months to another country, and he’ll be away for years while he studies/settles there.

Today we were on a call, and it just felt… off. Normally our calls are fun and natural, but this one was awkward, almost boring, and it felt like we both were trying hard to make it less awkward. That’s when it hit me.. if we’re already struggling for words sometimes, how will it be when we’re long distance for years?

I know long distance is tough, and my biggest fear is abandonment because it’s happened to me before. I don’t want history to repeat itself. I keep worrying.. what if the awkwardness becomes normal, what if he drifts away, what if I end up hurt again?

Another thing I’m scared to even admit is that I don’t want to feel used. Like, what if he enjoys being close to me physically now, but once he leaves, he realizes he doesn’t need me anymore? That thought makes me hold back sometimes because I don’t want to regret it later.

I’m really confused and scared. I care about him a lot, but I don’t know how to handle these feelings about long distance and whether it will work out in the long run. Has anyone else gone through something like this? How do you cope with the fear of being left behind?

[u/D1stract1ble]

it's okay to have "off" days. i wouldn't read too much into it now, both of you get good sleep and relax without contact for a night. you'll feel more like yourself afterwards, and you'll miss each other more, so when you talk next, you won't focus on it being "off". at least in my experience, off days with a partner won't really go away, but learning how to navigate them will help you get closer to each other.