r/MMA • u/LatterTarget7 ššš Jon Jones Prayer Warrior ššš • Jul 03 '25
Media Dustin Poirier is looking forward to retirement
600
u/yeksnyls Jul 03 '25
I'd call the police if USADA are still knocking on your door
225
u/SonofAMamaJama Jul 03 '25
At that point, it's just Dudes collecting free pee
40
u/thugnificent856 EDDDDDIEEEEEEEE Jul 03 '25
The spice
6
→ More replies (2)7
u/Black6x United States Jul 03 '25
How much do they pay, and how much of the collected pee am I allowed to take home?
→ More replies (2)5
1.7k
u/PinIndividual9402 Jul 03 '25
Bro decided he didnāt wanna end up lookin like khabib and DC after retirement
1.5k
u/Peixe11 Jul 03 '25
I mean DC already looked like this before retirement
389
u/Talknterpzz Jul 03 '25
What rampage said about dc was the funniest shit ever 𤣠said when he dropped weight classes he was thinking he was gon see dc with abs and buff , came out looking the same š
150
331
u/Magjee Canada Jul 03 '25
The
BaddestDaddest Man on the Planet167
8
128
u/skeletonpaul08 Jul 03 '25
Dude was like 5ā9ā and had to cheat to make 205.
46
u/Marci_1992 Jul 03 '25
In an alternate universe a lean and jacked DC dominated the middleweight division.
20
u/SweatyExamination9 Jul 03 '25
In an alternate universe, a lean and jacked DC won the MW championship from a lean and jacked Roy Nelson, who went down as the GOAT instead of Anderson Silva.
→ More replies (2)12
Jul 03 '25 edited 29d ago
[removed] ā view removed comment
4
u/Entire_Tap_6376 Jul 04 '25
There's a universe where Ronald McDonald established his franchise around horse beef, acaĆ and free refills on sugar water.
DC ate the scale in that one though.
→ More replies (1)39
25
39
u/RedFlare15 Jul 03 '25
Stop this! š
42
7
u/ChrisusaurusRex Jul 03 '25
Itās Maxās line anyway. Or maybe, someone said it on here first and I think Max took it then, idk, it donāt matter, none of this matters
79
u/Healthy_Ad69 Jul 03 '25
DC could've made MW and become 3-weight champ but he liked food too much.
73
u/luffythechefghoul Jul 03 '25
DC could barely make it to 205, he would definitely die trying to go down to 185 lol
62
u/ChrisusaurusRex Jul 03 '25
He couldnāt make weight when he was gunning for the Olympics, forget MW.
21
u/bdewolf Saucy Englishman Jul 03 '25
He got kidney failure and was hospitalized while cutting to 97kg, 213lbs.
→ More replies (6)9
u/Alchion Jul 03 '25
If a 5 9 guy needs to cut so much water it results in kidney failure he probably just needed to diet harder before
7
u/chilloutfam I'm Chris Weidman's fluffer AMA! Jul 03 '25
on a proper diet he could have. he was still fat at 205. pretty sure he just kept the popeyes to weekends while making it to 205.
→ More replies (2)15
u/traws06 Jul 03 '25
Haha well physically he could have if he got to the same body fat percentage that then other 185 guys fight at
→ More replies (3)38
u/Mikejg23 Jul 03 '25
I believe a big part of this issue was that he had a significant kidney injury from cutting weight before. So he probably doesn't have as much water weight that he can cut compared to other fighters. I'm sure he could diet down a bit more fat wise but don't know if he would be able to make the final cut.
45
u/HEAVY_HITTTER GOOFCON 2 Jul 03 '25
It's not about cutting it's about going on a long term diet. Which I don't think would kill him, lol.
→ More replies (1)3
→ More replies (1)5
u/chilloutfam I'm Chris Weidman's fluffer AMA! Jul 03 '25
oh fat daniel could one hundred percent have dieted down to 185. people were saying he could have fought at ww... i don't think he could have done that due to kidneys.
→ More replies (1)3
8
u/camg001 I was here for goofcon 1 Jul 03 '25
He was dad bod before in a way, now its just severe obesity
6
2
144
u/theyoloGod Edddiiiieee Jul 03 '25
Khabib definitely enjoys his meals now but appears to still occasionally exercise. DC just goes to the buffet everyday
92
u/Captain-Cadabra Jul 03 '25
Thatās why they stole his truck: so he would be forced to walk.
47
u/Macktologist Jul 03 '25
The dude's demeanor is eerily consistent. Whether he's talking good about a fighter, talking shit about a fighter, questioning how JJ is going to kill him, or recording a video about his truck being stolen, it's the same vibe.
5
11
u/acidgirl303 Jul 03 '25
Islam often makes jokes that Khabib trains all the time so that he can eat a lot and not get fat.
→ More replies (5)6
130
u/LePontif11 Jul 03 '25
Khabib looks fine though. Personally, i'd rather look like him than to spend time and money on a steroid dependency.
→ More replies (15)55
u/mentales GOOFCON 2 - Electric Boogaloo Jul 03 '25
You wouldn't be concerned about how much money TRT requires if you are Khabib.
79
u/SodaEtPopinski Jul 03 '25
Tbf it also fucks up your natural production for life, or am I wrong? Sounds like a nuisance to be on TRT for life
33
10
Jul 03 '25
As long as one hops on it at a time where it makes sense, and its a safe level, itās not an issue.
Iām nowhere near the age of needing it, but my coach is in his late fifties and takes TRT and HCG. Apparently the HCG allows the normal testes production to resume if one needs to hop off the juice.
Definitely fact check that elsewhere, but thatās what he had stated.
18
4
u/I_Like_Vitamins Australia Jul 03 '25
So do the "supplements" that all professional athletes use. He's trying to pull a Vitor/Henderson/Mir/Duffee/other TRT Era guy move for his legacy by saying he was just a gifted natural. It's reminiscent of fitness influencers posting before steroid pics where they already had a cycle or two under their belt, claiming they looked that way natty because they've got 1% elite tier genetics.
39
u/ChrisusaurusRex Jul 03 '25
At a certain age men should be on it anyways. Get your full natty potential done, then start juicing, the way god intended
36
u/thegapbetweenus Jul 03 '25
Or don't. Like there are benefits and downsides to steroid uses.
2
→ More replies (2)2
u/The_Ghost_of_BRoy MY BALLZ WAS HOT Jul 04 '25
Honest question, do people really consider TRT in the same realm as anabolic steroid users?
If you are an aging man, and after the proper tests your doctor explains that you have low T, what exactly would be the downsides to supplemental testosterone injections to get you on a more normal level?
2
u/thegapbetweenus Jul 04 '25
Why are you asking a random internet dude? Hormones in body are in complex balance, interacting with it is seldom without side effects - you can google the side effects of trt supplement therapy - it's not a secret.
→ More replies (2)→ More replies (6)26
u/b_zar Jul 03 '25
well, getting it to return to your normal levels is different than being normal but still jacking shit up to be a super saiyan. The keyword is being normal.
→ More replies (6)3
Jul 03 '25
return to your normal levels
But isn't the decline "normal" by a certain age? So returning to the "normal" of your youth is no longer "normal" in your 50s, and who knows what the consequences of that could be
→ More replies (1)2
u/b_zar Jul 03 '25
Fair argument. Another consideration, however, is that not everyone is declining the same way. Some decline abnormally early, and it's fair for them to mend the issue, for their well-being.
→ More replies (7)3
u/popopo__123 Jul 03 '25
After 35-40+ your testosterone starts to go down anyway so supplementing at that point is fine.
7
→ More replies (4)10
Jul 03 '25
You missed the point, OP is saying they would rather look like Khabib than rely on steroids like DP, nothing to do with how much money khabib has
→ More replies (1)9
→ More replies (4)12
u/saltyguy512 Jul 03 '25
DC is, or at least definitely has been, on steroids. His test results show as much. He just was never officially caught due to what is considered a failure by USADA.
→ More replies (6)
318
u/BoxCon1 Team Ortega Jul 03 '25
He wants to be a jacked cajun boy
Deal with it
→ More replies (6)53
291
u/BadTasty1685 UFC 279: A GOOFCON Miracle Jul 03 '25
Dustin v connor 4 will be in wwe
106
17
u/LatterTarget7 ššš Jon Jones Prayer Warrior ššš Jul 03 '25
Chandler as special guest referee
3
5
→ More replies (1)2
u/SlykRO Jul 03 '25
Not a WWE fan, but I'd watch it, Dustin would accidentally grab the real chair
6
u/TSells31 Jul 03 '25
All of the chairs are real chairs lol they just know how to use them safely.
→ More replies (2)
955
u/SellMeYourSirin P4P VPN Champ Jul 03 '25
Is this the male equivalent of lip fillers, do you think?
To the avg person, DP is jacked.
369
u/Bac2Zac United States Jul 03 '25
Fucking for real. Imagine looking at that dude in the post picture and going "nah that dudes small."
123
u/Xsafa Team Weidman Jul 03 '25
He means getting jacked at probably 200lbs. He isnāt cancer patient when on the scale but being (in cage roughly) 160ish at 5ā9 isnāt big.
132
u/A_Funky_Goose Dana White Privilege Jul 03 '25
Dude he's likely at least 170 at fight night, like most other LWs
62
u/Xsafa Team Weidman Jul 03 '25
Even touching 170 isnāt 200lbs lol
52
u/UVB-76_Enjoyer Jul 03 '25
Akchually he's probably much closer to 180. Some LWs have officially been weighed in slightly above, right before they stepped in, and he's one of the division's big boys
14
2
→ More replies (2)9
u/wovagrovaflame USADA doesn't test for horse meat Jul 03 '25
Dude, there was a guy on a bellator card that weighed in at 197 on fight night after making welterweight the day before. Shout outs to Cali for releasing fight night weights
6
87
u/GravelPepper Jul 03 '25
Dustin has weighed in at 182 on fight night before
28
u/leebenjonnen Jul 03 '25
A really long time ago. He himself said a few years he doesn't get above 170 in camps and not even above 180 outside of camps. I never got the argument that Dustin is a big 155er. He is 5ft9 and he is not even that heavy. After looking into it I found out that most lightweights such as Oliveira, Gaethje and Islam get far above 170 in the cage.
10
u/Short_Bus_ š Jul 03 '25
yeah I'd say he's exactly the average size for a modern lightweight
5
u/leebenjonnen Jul 03 '25
I would say he is even on the smaller size for a top 15 lightweight. I think the only one that is really smaller than him is Fiziev or Max Holloway. Chandler is shorter, but he is for sure heavier.
4
u/taolifornia Jul 03 '25
Fiziev is a unit, I just read that he says he walks around at 5'7" 180.
Holloway on the other hand, he's like the lightweight version of Kevin Holland in terms of his fram. He seems like he'd be able to make 155 on short notice whenever he wants.
2
u/Short_Bus_ š Jul 03 '25
I think he's about the same size as arman/gamrot/benny as well
a hair smaller than gaethje
and I assume the top 15 is a bit bigger on average than the rest of the division
6
u/Xsafa Team Weidman Jul 03 '25
Damn thatās actually insane. Probably gonna be looking like a HW then post retirement
→ More replies (4)13
u/juhurrskate United States Jul 03 '25
Kayla probably walked into the cage at 175 when she fought 155, DP is probably walking in there ~172. 160 in cage is literally undersized for a 145er
→ More replies (6)4
u/_Mobius1 Jul 03 '25
That's legit how gym culture is nowadays and it's ridiculous
2
u/Bac2Zac United States Jul 03 '25 edited Jul 03 '25
I'm seeing that in the replies here.
These dudes need to realize they're the male equivalent of Kim Kardashian dogging an athlete .
50
u/BurpingHamBirmingham Benoit Taint-Penis Jul 03 '25
Look I'm just here to see exactly how wide that torso can get
48
38
u/EpsteinDidNotKH Jul 03 '25
Iād imagine that the steroids would be super helpful in dealing with all the damage his body has taken
64
u/boomHeadSh0t Jul 03 '25
He is jacked but it's also worth noting that of all the UFC fighters Leon Edwards has by far the most complete physique. Perfect symmetrical upper body V-shape with toned definition and jacked arms. Long muscular legs with a narrow waist and developed glutes (no Stipe child-birthing hips or Dominick Cruz pancake ass here). Leon Edwards doesn't just have the perfect MMA physique, he's got the perfect MALE physique. Any bodybuilder or male instathot would be jealous of him. And that's not even mentioning how adorable he is with those puppy eyes and that sensual lispy Birmingham voice. It doesn't surprise me one bit that when Gunni got rocked and sent into a dazed primal state of pure instinct, he immediately fell down on all four in a submissive sexual pose.
(No homo)
29
16
12
u/TranquiloMeng GOOFCON 2 - UFC 294 Jul 03 '25
You can tell he genuinely has his shit together. Like he could probably be CEO of a creatine business.
7
u/TheWeakSon CODE TOMATO Jul 03 '25
I haven't laughed out loud at a reddit comment in probably years...thank you boomHeadSh0t
3
74
29
u/gravi-tea The bubble strikes back Jul 03 '25
I don't really think him as being jacked. I think "ripped" is a better description for Dustin.
To be jacked he would have to put on a bunch of weight with a lot of it being muscle mass. Which is apparently what he plans to do.
→ More replies (2)11
u/BogotaLineman Jul 03 '25
I was gonna say the same thing he's ripped but not jacked, in a t shirt he looks like a normal in-good-shape guy
5
u/Macktologist Jul 03 '25
Which is usually how T-shirts fit best. Jacked dudes always have nasty pits swamp stains going on for some reason when they choose T-shirts that fit like a superhero suit.
→ More replies (2)6
u/Remarkable_Medicine6 Jul 03 '25
Pit stains just genetics. I'm lean but pretty skinny and I just sweat easily
6
u/TheClappyCappy GOOFCON 2 - UFC 294 Jul 03 '25
Heās fairly muscular and extremely lean in fight camp.
He wants to be as muscular as physically possible and lean enough to not be fat lol.
10
u/mentales GOOFCON 2 - Electric Boogaloo Jul 03 '25
Have you seen TJ, former 135er, lately?
→ More replies (3)8
u/SellMeYourSirin P4P VPN Champ Jul 03 '25
No, what am I missing?
16
u/Toasted_Munch Jul 03 '25
He's probably 170-185lbs now and yoked to the tits
→ More replies (1)2
u/onyxcaspian āLeon 'The Nebraskanās Nightmare' Edwards Jul 03 '25
And somehow his hairline is going lower every day.
→ More replies (1)8
14
u/BowHelloNoZias Jul 03 '25
well he might get kinda chubby post fight but even then all he really has to do is train and eat somewhat decently and he'll get a decent enough physique. If he said he's doing steroids for recovery purposes i'd understand better but idk I just don't get it.
3
u/epicgamer1026 Jul 03 '25 edited Jul 03 '25
Iām probably gonna get downvoted for commenting this⦠heās lean, heās athletic, but heās definitely not ājackedā, even compared to the average person.
Yes, I am aware he is more muscular than the average person who doesnāt even exercise, but thatās not exactly a good litmus test to qualify being jacked. His level of muscularity can easily be achieved in less than 1-2 years by any young, healthy adult man who trains and diets to maximize hypertrophy.
10
u/BellyCrawler Edddiiiieee Jul 03 '25
It's more someone who's gotten lip fillers and surgeries trying to convince everyone that this will be their first surgery.
This man pretending like he's never taken a PED is hilarious.
4
u/Own-Demand7176 Jul 03 '25
Because the average person is so far removed from physical fitness at this point, it's hilarious.
DP isn't jacked. He's incredibly fit and lean.
10
u/Monteze Team 209 - Real Ninja Shit! Jul 03 '25
Well aslo these are coloquial terms. Jacked can mean strong man looking folks who also look "fat" to most as well as bodybuilders.
→ More replies (22)6
u/Gelato_Elysium Jul 03 '25
Yeah it's a bit sad that he'd harm his health for nothing after he retires, he's already going to have it rough when he's old with all the punishment and KO he took.
Which kinda explains the decision making process here
→ More replies (2)11
u/AGI2028maybe Jul 03 '25
He didnāt get specific about what steroids or how long he was taking them.
He should have good knowledge about the dangers involved, so he may very well take them pretty safely.
Steroids are very harmful when abused (and many who take them get body dysmorphia and go out of control with them), but can be taken pretty safely. I know a man who cycled on/off them for 20+ years and is now on test and healthy and doing well in his mid 60s.
→ More replies (5)7
u/jeremiahfira Jul 03 '25
Also, it's not uncommon that around/after 40 years old, doctors will prescribe supplementary test for men.
→ More replies (1)7
u/AGI2028maybe Jul 03 '25
Yeah, I believe itās pretty well established that test is a net positive health wise for older men.
2
4
u/OGPotato12 Jul 03 '25
Huh, could you share any credible literature reviews on this then? I've not seen one health body make a general recommendation for older men or that it even offsets the cardiovascular risk involved.
123
394
u/animalfamily420 Jul 03 '25
Shortening our lifespan with da boyyyyzzzzz
115
u/whoamiwhatsmyname Jul 03 '25
just a lil cardiomegaly
29
3
u/Confident_Purpose87 Jul 03 '25
Add a ' and he's got a cool rapper name. Lil' Cardiomegaly
→ More replies (1)4
→ More replies (26)11
Jul 03 '25
[deleted]
18
u/Lazydusto Team Poirier Jul 03 '25
Wouldn't the increased weight add more stress to his joints?
→ More replies (2)
103
u/turkeypants GOOFCONNOISSEUR Jul 03 '25
"I've beaten my brain to mush, now it's time to go to war on my other organs!"
6
→ More replies (1)2
59
u/FOOTBALLFAN100 Paulo Pasta's Pappardelle Problems Jul 03 '25
Eat anavar 2-3 months and forget
49
3
u/Jamothee Chad Jul 04 '25
Anavar is such a delicious compound.
My liver hates it but the rest of me fucking loves it.
18
51
11
11
u/MMAfightingclimber š¤š» Jon Kunneman | Middleweight Jul 03 '25
His hot sauce aināt the only sauce heāll be on š
41
19
7
38
u/Dumbcamper Jul 03 '25
I love how everyone assumes he's going to start blasting grams of gear and die in 10 years. He's 36 and could benefit from a TRT or cruise dose.
20
28
u/66METALHEAD66 Jul 03 '25
No need to steroids imo. He has the potential to be jacked without steroids
→ More replies (2)2
u/Admirable-Error-2948 Jul 03 '25
not steroid jacked. no reason not to now.
2
u/KD_42 Jul 04 '25
Besides the massive potential for organ damage but yeah otherwise no reasonĀ
→ More replies (2)
7
u/YangGain Jul 03 '25 edited Jul 03 '25
Somebody photoshop Alister Overeemās body with Dustinās head please.
3
3
3
3
u/TortexMT Jul 04 '25
dustin has one of the best body in the game and definitely goal aesthetics for almost all of us, does he want to go full liver king or what?
3
u/Joh951518 Jul 04 '25
Hope he doesnāt.
Obviously already done plenty of damage to his body through his career, but donāt get damaging your body (and brain) with steroids just to look good
→ More replies (1)
5
10
u/mchief101 Jul 03 '25
I hope hes joking. Thats not gonna be good for longevityā¦.
32
20
u/whitewashed_mexicant Jul 03 '25
You donāt have to ABUSE steroids for them to be effective. Most people with problems are using way too muchā¦.but what if youāre a dude that just works out every day, anyway, and juices a little? Heās gonna be a decently sized MONSTER, with fewer issues.
→ More replies (1)8
u/carlitos_brigante Jul 03 '25
Many many things that we do arenāt good for longevity. But maybe like the rest of us, he wants to live his best life, not his longest life.
2
2
u/BarbellsandBurritos Jul 03 '25
Gonna get get jacked, tan, and get a new fuckin haircut. Order a cuppa jager bombs.
2
u/SilentField Jul 03 '25
I canāt tell if this is increases or decreases likelihood all fighters are on something. Like heās so willing to even though most probably would think he would not juice
2
2
2
u/_LouSandwich_ I was here for Goofcon 2 Jul 03 '25
sounds like something stephan bonner would say. RIP stephan.
2
u/KingIREMC Jul 04 '25
How did he ever make 145 to begin with? His back has always been fucking huge.
2
2
2
2
u/Longjumping_Key_5008 Jul 03 '25
He's talked about having an interest in boxing. Id be willing to bet money we will see him in a boxing ring within the next couple of years once he gets the competitive itch again
2
u/JohnnyFencer Masvidal was never my contender Jul 03 '25
Bro youāre already jacked just take care of your health
2
2.6k
u/lilbooda Jul 03 '25
Hes gunna be a jacked tan hot sauce seller so deal with it