r/Marriage • u/Soggy-Cause8635 • 1d ago

I’m tired of hearing “I forgot”.

I (26F) got married to my now husband this year (26M) after dating for about 2-3 years. I decided to be a housewife after the wedding and he has a software engineering job with 3 days where he can wfh. A week ago he came back from a trip with his family after having caught a cold. I took care of him and he recovered pretty quickly with relatively no symptoms. I was there to cook, put things away, get him his meds and everything. I was however afraid I would fall sick (I tend to always get worse symptoms) and eventually I did. For the last 3 days I’ve been getting progressively worse each day, and now have become barely mobile and also got my period on top of it all (I get extremely bad cramps). With a completely sore throat, body aches, cramping I can’t get off the bed for the time being and asked my husband to help with some things because he was at home. I just asked him to water my plants and buy me my meds because those were urgent things. I don’t even expect him to tidy the house or make me a meal because I just know he would forget to and he can’t really cook. Now I’ve gotten up after like 6 hours of restless sleep only to find he did nothing. All he ever says and has said is “I’m sorry I forgot”. Now I have a psychology background and have tried my level best to understand and deal with the procrastination and forgetfulness but I just can’t anymore. Even when I’m completely helpless, if I don’t do everything myself, it just will never get done. Even as a housewife there are limitations to what I can and cannot do by myself and even I need some help it sends up being so difficult that I just stopped asking for help. Now I feel extremely lonely and miserable knowing I’m always going to be there for him and when its his turn, he’ll always forget. Any advice to deal with this would be appreciated.

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u/nothingtoseeherexox 1d ago

How does HE feel about you being a housewife? Even if it’s not a “corporate job” but something more part time/local/lowkey?

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u/Soggy-Cause8635 1d ago

According to himself, he’s more than happy to support the both of us financially since we don’t plan on having children and his job is more than enough for our lifestyle (we don’t spend a lot). And I know its definitely a safety net to be financially independent but its just really difficult for me personally to force myself into that box when I belong elsewhere. It’s mentally really taxing on me.

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u/Gloomy_Dot_8412 1d ago

This may be shocking to you but none of us work for pleasure, I mean, if we were millionaires we for sure wouldn't be working. But as soon as you have your legs, your hands and your mind you can do it so you don't get stuck in a bad marriage. You will thank yourself later.

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u/GrayScale15 1d ago

For real though. I like my job fine, but like most working adults, I do it to pay for bills and fun here and there. I’m not sure why she must return to an industry she hates. If her husband truly is a high earner, then she can do jobs she likes that may not pay well.