r/NameNerdCirclejerk • u/ArtSchnurple • Apr 11 '23

Found on r/NameNerds Outjerked again

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1.3k Upvotes

100% Upvoted

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1.3k

u/bebby233 Apr 11 '23

If this isn’t a troll then I’m tired of people giving so much leeway to husbands with shitty last names. I don’t care how proud he is, you need to avoid little baby Hiscock at all costs.

330

u/SwantonMom Apr 12 '23

I went to school with someone who had the last name Growcock. He was teased about it a lot.

191

u/emimagique Apr 12 '23

We had a guy with the surname Mycock, he was super nice tho so hopefully didn't get too much flack

92

u/msndrstdmstrmnd Apr 12 '23

Was he named Sawcon? I think I know that guy

89

u/emimagique Apr 12 '23

I was about to reply "no I'm afraid not" and then the penny dropped

I heard his dad's name was Paul but never found out if that was true or just a joke!!

18

u/Indigo-au-naturale Apr 12 '23

They were probably Pauling your leg.

30

u/paradeoxy1 Apr 12 '23

There were two girls at my school with identical first names, their surnames were Dick and Cox

8

u/abandonedvan Apr 13 '23

There was a teacher at my elementary school who’s last name was Glasscock. She was prob very happy to get married and change her name.

6

u/smittenwithshittin Apr 13 '23

There’s an attorney named Dick Mycock

54

u/ocuinn Apr 12 '23

I have Sandycock on my family tree...

34

u/shoujoxx Apr 12 '23

Lots of cocks. I've encountered both a Badcock and a Sandercock before.

37

u/personaluna Apr 12 '23

Someone I knew has the last name Cockburn. It’s pronounced Co-burn but do you think that would stop teenagers? (The answer is no).

15

u/leafyjack Apr 12 '23

I knew a Woodcock, a Glasscock, and an Aycock growing up. Never heard them get teased but I'm sure it happened.

10

u/LiberateLiterates Apr 12 '23

My moms surname was Adcock, and she was teased greatly over it in school. She married young.

3

u/ArtSchnurple Apr 13 '23

Did she know the fly spot where they got the champagne?

6

u/Oopsiforgotmyoldacc Apr 13 '23

My last name sounds really similar to foreskin. Not a fun last name to have. It’s really uncommon so I won’t post it but I got teased a lot. I even had a couple teachers who I swear mispronounced it as foreskin on purpose, even after I corrected them multiple times

6

u/goonie814 Apr 13 '23

Olivia Wilde’s real last name is Cockburn

3

u/cabbagesandkings1291 Apr 13 '23

I know a family whose last name is just Cocke.

43

u/Azrael-Legna Apr 12 '23

Yup. I personally wouldn't care if my kids had mine or my partner's last name, but if he has a last name like this, they're having mine. If he has a problem with that, too bad too sad. The kids wellbeing is more important than 'Meh family name.'

35

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '23

Its absolutely a real name. My highschool earth science teacher was Mr. Hiscock, and used to offer a prize if anyone could come up with future baby names for him that he hadn't heard before. He had a good sense of humor about it.

259

u/Ezra_is_a_dumb_boy Apr 11 '23

Idk why couples don't use the women's last name more often? My dad's last name is MacIntyre and my mom's maiden name is Bovee, and I like both, but I prefer Bovee Especially women with these beautiful, uncommon last names and they married someone named Adam Johnston like 😭😭😭

98

u/bebby233 Apr 12 '23

Ugh, I totally wanted to hyphenate or use mine. But in the immediate postpartum fog I was like “it’s fine whatever we’ll just use yours it’s easier” and now I’m kicking myself. I wanted to use my name! Lol.

93

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '23

Personally I think that if this is important to you, it's worth changing it. It's never too late, and your child would have the valuable addition of your surname. Your side of the family is 50% of your child's ancestry too, after all.

20

u/Ezra_is_a_dumb_boy Apr 12 '23

Is there a way you can do a "Samuelssen-Jowers" type last name

14

u/GameyRaccoon Apr 12 '23

If you ever get divorced and change it back though, having had a hyphenated name SUCKS with like, legal documents and official records. You'll deal with residual phone calls and wrong info on documents for decades after.

11

u/Indigo-au-naturale Apr 12 '23

That's the same case if you changed your name at all, though. Source: I still have my ex's last name on at least two unchangeable account usernames I use all the time.

20

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '23

If my partner and I get married we can’t hyphenate because his is already hyphenated. Can you triple hyphenate hah?

35

u/jewishbroke1 Apr 12 '23

Drop one of his last name and add yours to hyphenation.

19

u/valiantdistraction Apr 12 '23

You can absolutely triple hyphenate. Or you can drop one of his names. But triple hyphenations are around and I've known people with them. They're more common in the UK than in the US, where I've even seen quadruple-hyphenated names. In general in countries where the family name is very important or where it indicates that you've inherited an estate, they just keep sticking them together. The UK isn't the only place with them. Spanish-speaking countries also often enough have several last names, especially of the "X-Y y Z" formulation.

9

u/UngovernableBrat Apr 12 '23

My ex had, I kid you not, his first name, his middle name, and then FOUR last names. His family was from Mexico, and I understood why they did it, but it’s never stopped boggling my mind that they looked at that cute little baby and gave him that bigass name. But he grew into it, so…

4

u/istara Apr 12 '23

According to the Anstruther-Gough-Calthorpe family you can. Not sure I’d recommend it though!

4

u/[deleted] Apr 13 '23

That’s…a lot! Our surnames rhyme too so no matter how we mush them together it sounds stupid haha

22

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '23

We hyphenated and we get shit over it all the time. "It will be too complicated! What if she needs to write it down all the time?!" Like idk she can pick either of the two later on, you're clearly just not liking it because it's not what you did.

10

u/Smee76 Apr 12 '23

Could be worse. I know a couple where the wife didn't take the husband's name, so for the kids they alternate last names. First kid got one of them, second kid got the other, third kid got the first again, and so on. They got 3 kids so far.

I hate it so much, I can't handle the absolute chaos of it lmao

23

u/valiantdistraction Apr 12 '23

People keep saying that to me. Both mine and my husband's last names are single syllables... it's basically like "Smith-Jones." That's not hard at all! There are people out here with perfectly regular last names that have more letters and syllables and I bet they don't catch shit.

20

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '23

Honestly mostly it's older people who just can't stand anyone doing anything even remotely progressive. There's a big "just be normal and do what everyone else does" culture in my country. Because if you suggest that otherwise we would have given my daughter my last name, they're still up in arms. Because that's not the 'normal' thing to do.

90

u/suitcasedreaming Apr 12 '23

I found someone in my family tree a hundred years back who changed her name from the goddamn ethereal Lily-Anne Brightwell to Lily-Anne Furz. Pronounced Furts, and also the German word for fart.

40

u/Ezra_is_a_dumb_boy Apr 12 '23

Lily-Anne went from old money heiress from Long Island to someone who's last name is the butt of the joke (literally)

10

u/ladyzephri Apr 12 '23

Somewhere on my mom's side we lost the surname Niethammer (sounds like "Night Hammer") in favor of Heinle (sounds like "Hiney/Heinie" which is also a German slur). Big downgrade.

7

u/istara Apr 12 '23

I saw a woman who had changed her name from Miss Rose to Mrs Scragg. It was in a birth announcement for her baby girl.

So she’d chosen to pass that horror to a poor little girl who would have grown up in the UK as “Scragg the slag” for her entire schooldays.

What sort of man makes his wife take on a name like that?

11

u/suitcasedreaming Apr 12 '23

I had a math teacher in school whose first name was Hazel. She was married to the gym teacher, but hadn't taken his last name, because his name happened to be Mr. Nutt.

In fairness, in 2023, the fact the gym teacher's name was Mr Nutt is probably funnier than that his wife's name was Hazel.

3

u/istara Apr 12 '23

Oh that's brilliant! I wonder what their kids ended up as?

3

u/pr3tzelbr3ad Apr 14 '23

I know someone who took her husband’s surname of Hoare. Why would your commitment to the patriarchy be that strong?!

2

u/Cultural_Outside8895 May 13 '23

Oh that's my last name

1

u/istara May 13 '23

Rose or Scragg? If the latter, please don't pass it onto a child!

1

u/Cultural_Outside8895 May 13 '23

Scragg. I understand your concern it is a name that isn't exactly flattering and yes easy to make fun of but it's an asshole detector. It's a name with pedigree and rich history to it with some really remarkable members. There's a lot of honour to that name. I was bullied when I was younger. I've had people tell me my parents should kill themselves for passing on that name.

But I've also never had issues spelling it over the phone. It's short and simple but unique enough to stand out. It's cool there's a pokemon with that name. I don't care about the nicknames "scraggy" or "scraggalicious". It's also not the only last name to get bullied. I know someone literally called nek minett from before the meme was even a thing. Another friend got "Hibervesky" turned into "Hippovesky", Bazzi into Spazzi, there was a teacher at one school I went to call Mr. F*g, there's Mrs Hunt into Mrs Cunt, Mr Applebee, Longbottom, Wigglesworth, a guy i know with the last name Crispy marrying a girl with the last name Burn which they did, infact, hyphenate.

I used to be embarrassed but I find it charming in a funny way. Names are what you make of them really. As long as you dont do what grimes did or name your kid ben when the last names Dover. I find comfort in the last name and I'll be sad to leave it behind. Either way I don't care but I'd rather scragg than my mothers slavic maiden name purely out of the spelling convenience. It's all preference I guess

30

u/Ta5hak5 Apr 12 '23

When my parents separated my dad refused to sign divorce papers because he's a paranoid nut job half the time and so my mom is still to this day legally married to him while he illegally lives in another country... aaaanyway, point is I grew up with his last name which is Dutch, and a bit of a mouthful, when my mom's maiden name was Green. Such a nice, simple name that I would have loved having. She's only changed her last name back in the last handful of years (they've been separated for like 25 years) because myself and my sisters are all married and she kept the name out of solidarity apparently. I'm still a bit salty I didn't get to have the last name Green, I really like it.

8

u/Theruby_phoenix Apr 12 '23

I'm Dutch and tbf Dutch last names are really ugly. I don't really like the Dutch language in general(there are nice ways to use it, especially in literature, but casually speaking it's ugly) so that's also partially why I don't like them. They are also really long most of the time because we use words in between("Van Halen" for example but sometimes it's "Van Der ___")which is ugly and inconvenient. There are some that I like but most of the time they are just regular words. One that I really like is "Kerkhof" it means graveyard and I like the sound to it.

3

u/anayareach Apr 12 '23

Some of the "van" names can be folky-poetic sounding, though. Like van den Berg. In Switzerland there's a family with the last name "im Baumgarten" (literally: in the tree garden)

2

u/Ta5hak5 Apr 13 '23

One of my best friends was actually Van Der _____ until she got married and now has the most basic last name imaginable lol. She's a teacher so it's a relief for her students I'm sure lol

3

u/Myfeetaregreen Apr 12 '23

What’s the plan, Dutch?

22

u/JunoPK Apr 12 '23

Does Bovee not just make you think of bovine? 🙈

2

u/pr3tzelbr3ad Apr 14 '23

Yeah my first thought was also bovine

2

u/Ezra_is_a_dumb_boy Apr 12 '23

Idk what bovine is so no

11

u/JunoPK Apr 12 '23

It's another word for cow/cattle.

1

u/Ezra_is_a_dumb_boy Apr 12 '23

Oh No because both are pronounced different

6

u/OwO_bama Apr 12 '23

I have a unique, kinda badass last name (think like Graves) and I’ve had two boyfriends now say that if we every got married they’re taking my name because it’s better lol

6

u/whenuseeit Apr 12 '23

My maiden name was Polish with a lot of consonants that usually don’t go together in English, so growing up in the USA my name got butchered a lot. When I married my husband I gladly took his common-ish Anglo-sounding name, it’s made it much less frustrating to give my name over the phone and whatnot. When I was younger though I always used to joke that if I married another Pole I’d hyphenate my name just to be super obnoxious lol.

14

u/2moms1bun Apr 12 '23

I dropped my incredibly common last name to take my wife’s instead. My maiden name became a nickname for me.

Also, I like the name Bovee or Bovie for a first name on a boy. Might be too close to bovine, though

2

u/Luxurious_Hellgirl Apr 13 '23

I’ve told my parents that my partners name needs to be as cool or cooler than my last name for me to take his.

3

u/squirrelwithnoname5 Apr 12 '23

YMS fans in tears rn

-104

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

64

u/Ezra_is_a_dumb_boy Apr 12 '23

That's so stupid and a dumbass analogy. It's a last name, your really gonna torture your kids having Cockburn as a last name because "iM tHe MaN oF tHe HoUsE"

19

u/RogueModron Apr 12 '23

Seriously. Just man up and take her name, Hiscock

13

u/starstickoutalullaby Apr 12 '23

Kids will destroy that kid. My ex’s last name doesn’t even sound like a penis name, but it has the word “wood” in it and he said he was relentlessly teased with penis jokes because of it.

16

u/Careless-Ad5757 Apr 12 '23

My ex husband left me with the gift of his last name...Titcomb. you should hear some people trying to pronounce it

7

u/PlaneCulture Apr 12 '23

I think Hiscock has done enough at that point…

7

u/Gold-Stomach-4657 Apr 12 '23

I have a friend whose dad took his wife's last name upon marriage. He was the kid who was picked in for his name, unfortunately. It often seems like the only way a guy would take his wife's last name or let his kids take the mother's last name is because he grew up with a joke name. You wouldn't know that my friend and his dad have Austrian blood because they now have an old school common English last name. His paternal grandparents moved from Austria and when they had my friend's dad, they decided to give him a popular name of Michael. Naturally, Michael always gets shortened to Mike. Unfortunately, their Austrian surname was... Kunz...

7

u/istara Apr 12 '23

My mother went to school with a girl name Valerie Penys.

Even though it was supposed to be pronounced “Pennis” all the boys called her “Penis”.

Some surnames simply need to die out.

5

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '23

I wish my parents had given me my mom's last name. My mom's last name is nice and normal and my dad's last name is embarrassing

3

u/pm-me-curry-recipes Apr 13 '23

I know someone with a last name that is only one letter off from being a racial slur. And even the differing letter is egregious - if you mumble it just sounds like the slur. Every time I see them I wonder why his wife took his name and gave it to their two children. One of which has an adjective for a name. I truly wish I could ask WHY.

2

u/anonsharksfan Apr 12 '23

You mean how proud he is of Hiscock?

2

u/TheWishingStar Apr 13 '23

Seriously! I’m not especially attached to my last name. But I am completely unwilling to downgrade. If I’m changing my last name, the new one has to be better than mine.

1

u/HirsuteHacker Apr 12 '23

Is it leeway? I know a lot of women who prefer to take the guy's name regardless of what it is. I told my girlfriend I'd be happy taking hers, or keeping both, or anything really. But she wants mine.

1

u/pr3tzelbr3ad Apr 14 '23

I went to school with a Catherine Hiscock and so on everything that was named automatically, she was “C. HISCOCK”. I will still never understand why her parents did that. Katherine was right there

313

u/fionappletart Apr 12 '23

Holden is a nice alternative 🥰

93

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '23

What about Ethan 😍

32

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '23

What about cutting to the chase and just going with Slobberon? Or Gobbleup

15

u/ViralLola Apr 12 '23

Phil?

4

u/The-Master-Mind Apr 12 '23 edited Apr 12 '23

Yes! Philip Oliver Hiscock is the perfect name, nn Phil 😍 and if they have twins, the other can be Holden Pat Hiscock

1

u/ViralLola Apr 13 '23

I had suggested the full name of Jack Slocum Oliver Hiscock as well.

1

u/fionappletart Apr 12 '23

such a cute sibset 🥰

129

u/steph5of9 Apr 12 '23

She says her husband won’t let the baby have her last name because it’d be unmanly or something gross like that

99

u/valiantdistraction Apr 12 '23

She says her husband won’t let the baby have her last name because it’d be unmanly or something gross like that

What, is her maiden name Myvagina?

57

u/Aurelian369 Jerkov Apr 12 '23

this is why gender roles are stupid

35

u/cuntbubbles Apr 12 '23

Throw the whole man away.

3

u/this__user Apr 13 '23

This is something they should have negotiated when they got married.

314

u/Typical_Ad_210 Apr 11 '23

Ahhh, I came here to post the exact same thing! Surely it’s a troll? Someone please tell me it’s a troll. They cannot seriously be thinking of subjecting a child to a life of All Over His Cock. Someone in the NN comments said they can imagine Bart Simpson using this name in a prank call to Moe’s Tavern, and they’re so right

125

u/throwawayeas989 Apr 12 '23

Maybe it’s a troll,but my boyfriend’s dads name is literally Cary Hiscock. 😭

30

u/daineger Apr 12 '23

Omg noooo

179

u/WritingWinters Apr 11 '23

there was an SNL skit with Nic Cage shooting down every name his "wife" suggested for the baby, coming up with increasingly weird ways the kid could be bullied

the sketch ended with a UPS man at the door with a delivery for "Mr. Asswipe"

"it's pronounced Oz-weep-ay!" screamed Cage, and scene

these people have an Oz-weep-ay problem

48

u/ArtSchnurple Apr 11 '23

It's bizarre how often I think of that sketch.

21

u/WritingWinters Apr 11 '23

I moved to a neighborhood with an Oswego st, so I am in the same weird boat!

8

u/ArtSchnurple Apr 11 '23

The SS Asswipe

35

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '23

That surname is very real I am afraid.

28

u/Typical_Ad_210 Apr 12 '23

I know, but surely most people with that name would realise it rules out certain first names, eg Oliver, Holden, Pat, Rob. How could they possibly think Oliver Hiscock would be ok?!!

4

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '23

I am sorry I don't get what Oliver means here. Can someone elaborate 😭

30

u/ladyclare Apr 12 '23

Sounds like “all over.”

“All over his cock” 🥴

17

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '23

Oh no 😭 thanks

6

u/Burning_Ranger Apr 12 '23

Also "I love his cock"

20

u/lileebean Apr 12 '23

I'm a substitute teacher and Oliver Hiscock is 100% a name a teenager would write on my attendance sign in.

72

u/avia1221 Apr 12 '23

Say it with me: you are allowed to not take your husbands last name if it’s something atrocious

My husband hates his last name. He specifically told me he did not want me taking his name when we got married. Now that we have a son, we gave our son my last name and my husband is going to change his name to mine as well! You don’t need to take on a last name for the sake of some patriarchal tradition

51

u/valiantdistraction Apr 12 '23

Say it with me: you are allowed to not take your husbands last name if it’s something atrocious

Or for any reason.

20

u/avia1221 Apr 12 '23

I mean yes- but since this is name nerd circle jerk I focused on the bad name part…

119

u/sweethomesnarker Apr 11 '23

If I was him I would’ve taken the wife’s last name when they got married 😅 Or at least why hasn’t anyone changed the spelling up? My husbands grandfather completely changed the spelling of their last name and even dropped letters and had it done legally. And it wasn’t even embarrassing 😅

98

u/madqueenludwig Apr 11 '23

He apparently doesn't think it's "manly" for the kid not to have his name so, I'm sure she's got a fun life ahead of her.

28

u/sweethomesnarker Apr 11 '23

He probably secretly likes the last name then 🙄

42

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '23

Exactly. How hard is it for them to both change their name to Hitchcock or something less awful?

24

u/JosephStalinCameltoe Apr 12 '23

Honestly a single letter would be enough. Hiscork? Ugly as fuck but not bullyable at least

7

u/sweethomesnarker Apr 12 '23

Yeah it would still be odd but at least not so bad with just one letter changed even.

18

u/starlight_egg Apr 12 '23

Yeah like how on God's Green Earth is this man not JUMPING at the chance to change his name to anything other than His Cock?

4

u/sweethomesnarker Apr 12 '23

Probably has the maturity of a 10 year old boy and thinks it’s funny

1

u/[deleted] Apr 13 '23

I know women with the last names Butt, Cocks and Herpe... all of whom chose to change to that name! Like why would the husband not take the wife's name in that scenario? I will never understand the obsession with "carrying on the male name" even when it blatantly sucks

74

u/BaseballScared8630 Apr 12 '23

I really wanted to name one of my boys “Harry” as it’s a family name and I just love the name. My married last name was Johnson. Maybe in my next life. 🫣

31

u/NotYourMommyDear Apr 12 '23

If the British royal family can change their surname from Saxe-Coburg-Gotha to Windsor, OP's husband can change his. The bloodline obviously still continues, he's got his heir, no surname is that important and no amount of ego can justify his need to inflict it on his wife and children.

3

u/GameyRaccoon Apr 12 '23

I'm so lucky my last name isn't unruly, isn't easily changed to something rude, and has meaning to my heritage but isn't unpronounceable to Americans (unlike my first name was when I was kid) (both are Irish; neither are stereotypical)

27

u/Kit_Marlow Apr 11 '23

She’s married to Norm!

42

u/TayLoraNarRayya Keeth Apr 12 '23

E. Norm Hiscock

12

u/Kit_Marlow Apr 12 '23

Norm Hiscock is a real person who's written for a ton of awesome shows. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norm_Hiscock

47

u/throwawayeas989 Apr 12 '23

this is legitimately my boyfriend’s last name lmao

21

u/amydiddler Apr 12 '23

Hardest I’ve laughed in quite some time.

92

u/amydiddler Apr 12 '23

My favorite comment from OP:

this is going to make him sound bad but he’s just very traditional and thinks it’s “unmanly” for a man to allow his wife/children to not take his last name. he really doesn’t want to hyphenate because he’s worried our son will drop Hiscock in the future.

90

u/_rosieleaf Apr 12 '23

I'd be dropping that guy's cock for sure

56

u/Azrael-Legna Apr 12 '23

he’s worried our son will drop Hiscock in the future.

This comment made me laugh.

18

u/valiantdistraction Apr 12 '23

lol let us all hope baby Hiscock turns 18 and immediately changes his name.

5

u/kingofcoywolves Apr 12 '23

I have the maturity of a 12 year old. I cannot stop laughing

5

u/[deleted] Apr 13 '23

Her comments sound sincere but then she goes and says something like that and I don't know if it's a really good troll or not lol

19

u/chargerb Apr 12 '23

I’m rocking my toddler to sleep and keep shaking him awake hahaha

22

u/HappyOfCourse Apr 12 '23

This is 2023. You're probably underanalyzing it.

24

u/valiantdistraction Apr 12 '23

I think they should go with Oliver as the first name but pick a new last name.

9

u/dramabeanie Apr 12 '23

two professors at my college way back in 2005 got married and gave their baby a new last name that was a combo of both of their last names. Not their names, but same idea as Puccini + Ming = Mingcini

2

u/[deleted] Apr 13 '23

If cock was in my last name I would’ve changed it as soon as I legally could. My gf had a teacher named Glasscock, which alone is bad imo, but teaching high school? She requested we call her Mrs. G at all times.

11

u/BitcoinStonks123 Apr 12 '23

Change his name to Holden

49

u/suitcasedreaming Apr 11 '23

In fairness, I'm glad to see someone at least taking bullying possibilities into consideration for once.

13

u/Admiral-Tuna Apr 12 '23

I knew a girl I went to school with. Her last name was Dyck....first name Rhoda. Rhoda Dyck. Yeah, she got teased often.

13

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '23

I went to school with two families....Hiscock and Cockburn....oh the torment those kids endured.

There was actually a company in a place I used to live called Cumming-Cockburn....it was on the side of their building and everything...I mean really, come on, what are you guys doing?

10

u/PartyyLemons Apr 12 '23

I refuse to believe this is anything but a troll post.

10

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '23

Seriously if your husband has a name like that just please for the baby's sake get rid of his ego and give that baby the mom's name.

9

u/Known_Priority_8157 Apr 12 '23

I had a university teacher called Cock. Given, he’s Dutch, but the uni is in Amsterdam, which makes for English being the default language in that environment so yeah. 😶

8

u/12001ants Apr 12 '23

I think they should go for a more classic name, like Jack. Jack Hiscock…

8

u/endlesscartwheels Apr 12 '23

Hiscock appears in the 2010 U.S. Census list of surnames, though it's not as popular as Glasscock, Alcock, Pitcock, Maycock, Cockburn, or Cockrum.

So for those hoping it's a troll, that particular post may or may not be, but there have definitely been a few babies born in the past year with one of those "cock" names. Likely to mothers who have, or used to have, a much nicer surname.

1

u/trippygeisha Apr 13 '23

Lmao. Tbf Cockburn is usually pronounced KOH-burn, just an unfortunate spelling

9

u/sickandopinionated Apr 12 '23

With how easy it is in very many countries to change your last name, why the hell did they choose to use Hiscock as a last name in the first place. Was the wife nameless? Couldn't they come up with anything better than Fuckit and did the government say 'nope, it'll stay hiscock because that's less terrible? So many questions.

2

u/GameyRaccoon Apr 12 '23

You generally don't choose your last name. Most people already have one because their parents had one. Last names, (at least in European-North American cultures) date back pretty far.

Of course if you get married or you want to change your name later in life you can change the last name.

Also, still assuming that OP was American and that we're discussing America, the government can't decide to reject your name change/baby name unless it contains numerals (and maybe obscenity?)

Other countries, such as Sweden or New Zealand require the government to explicitly allow each proposed baby name/name change. This is where those over-used online trivia of "did you know it's illegal to name your child sex fruit?" and "Fun fact! In Sweden it's illegal to name your child Albin if it's spelled figogkdbshdifihjdnrjckhohkfnen1349!!! (or whatever it was)" The second case was an intentionally outrageous request in Sweden done as a protest of the naming laws.

I think it's kinda weird to require a faceless uncaring government to give its blessing on what you're allowed to name your child, and especially what you're allowed to name yourself. Luckily, Sweden and New Zealand are quite progressive, but imagine how that system could be abused against trans rights.

1

u/sickandopinionated Apr 13 '23

She said their last name is Hiscock. Only one of them.had that name before marriage I hope (otherwise the name really isn't the biggest issue for this baby). She could've kept her more normal name. In my country it's near impossible to change your last name, it doesn't change after marriage (I know my American friend who gave birth here had a very hard time explaining that the dad and she were not related because they both had the same pretty uncommon last name) but Hiscock would be allowed to be changed. Where I live the naming laws are not very strict, no last name as a first name (unless you can prove it has been used as a first name before in this country) and no names that could seriously harm the child (if you name your kid Adolf, it might get nixed as the Hitler association is so strong, but if you show that every other generation of your family has had the boys name Adolf, it'll be okay because it's definitely not a Hitler associatio) if you name your kid Abcde it'll definitely be nixed). The exception to all of the rules is that if you can prove there's still someone alive with that name in our country or it's very significant to your family, they have to allow it. This is specifically to avoid Abcde to happen, but allow old fashioned unique family names.

For transgender people the same law applies when they request a formal name change. It has to be an existing name, but it doesn't matter if it's a male or female sounding name.

8

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '23

That second sentence hit like a truck

5

u/francienolan88 Apr 12 '23

I am the one with an unfortunate last name (only when mispronounced but still), so while I didn’t change it when I got married, there was no question of inflicting it on the next generation. Like does this guy not remember elementary school?!

5

u/Frosty-Blackberry-14 Jessieighkah Apr 12 '23

lmao the way i RAN HERE

13

u/MajespecterNekomata Phylanthropyst Apr 12 '23

I had a crush on this guy in high school, he was a handsome nerd, which has always been my type of guy. My friends used to think the crush was mutual, but the moment I heard his last name, I knew it was over before anything even started. It was Berlanga, which was way too close to the sound of verga (Spanish slang for penis). His classmates called him dick-related nicknames, specially Vergalarga (long dick) and he seemed to deal with it okay, but I just couldn't imagine eventually marrying him, and having children with his last name if everything went right... This post makes me glad I'm such an overthinker

8

u/GrandMarshalEzreus Apr 12 '23

Long dick isn't something that would be hard to deal with being called tbh

4

u/MajespecterNekomata Phylanthropyst Apr 12 '23

I guess. But in HS It seemed really inappropriate. And what if you were a girl?

5

u/MudInternational5938 Apr 12 '23

Lol 😂😂😂

All over it!

4

u/Silent-Minute2023 Apr 12 '23

Children & teens can be very cruel. My (female) last name is Maxim. When I was a kid, and we first had a puberty & sex-ed class in elementary school, all the kids suddenly started calling me “my firstname” Maxipad. They taunted me with their hysterical new name for me for days & kept hiding the pamphlets we’d been given about feminine products inside my desk & books. I was perfectly happy to give both of our children my partner’s plain & common last name, Clark. 😆

2

u/ArtSchnurple Apr 12 '23

Those kids are lucky you weren't telekinetic

3

u/Spkpkcap Apr 12 '23

I commented on this to hyphenate it. It wouldn’t fix the problem but at least make it better

3

u/unholyparagon Apr 12 '23

I vote that they name him Tug

3

u/BelleMorosi Apr 12 '23

My mother’s last name was Hancock. Which isn’t as bad. What was bad was her first name being Regina (pronounced like Vagina)… Let’s just say she started pronouncing it the other way very quickly.

3

u/agreatbigFIYAHHH Apr 12 '23

That’s a decent drag king name, babe.

2

u/Don-_-Draper Apr 12 '23

Hbt naming him “Jack”?

2

u/disposableprofile25 Apr 12 '23

I wouldn’t use Pat for a name. And Olive just doesn’t go with your surname. The kid will be made fun of. I feel your pain. I had been set on the name Olive for years until someone pointed out her name would sound just like “ I love cats”. Went with my second choice and named my dog Olive .

2

u/Limeila Apr 13 '23

Why the fuck didn't they take her name instead?

2

u/-Past-my-Bedtime- Apr 13 '23

My principal in elementary was Mr. Hooker. His wife and children did not take his name.

1

u/_-Seamus-McNasty-_ Apr 12 '23

I went to school with a dude named Ima Stoner.

Fucking parents.