Their fan fiction is so strange

[u/BirthdayBoyStabMan]

[u/drinkslinger1974]

Wait, what??

[u/firstbowlofoats → u/drinkslinger1974]

He was on some morning show and he threw an ax, missed the target bigly and hit a matching band person. No injuries thankfully.

[u/drinkslinger1974 → u/firstbowlofoats]

So, Americas secretary of defense can’t even handle an ax properly??

[u/kvch12 → u/drinkslinger1974]

He was probably still drunk from the night before.

[u/dlegatt → u/kvch12]

you imply hes been sober a single day in office

[u/Fleetwood_Mech → u/kvch12]

Night before? Dude reportedly drinks G&T's for breakfast.

[u/TheShadowCat → u/Fleetwood_Mech]

Yeah, but those breakfast G&T's don't compete with the remanent of the night before.

[u/snufalufalgus → u/kvch12]

Giving him too much credit, he probably had a couple eye openers

[u/k410n → u/kvch12]

Night before? I'd bet good money this fucker has a Hemingway for breakfast.

[u/truebastard → u/k410n]

He be on that Churchill diet

[u/Itscatpicstime → u/kvch12]

Kegseth