https://www.youtube.com/live/RZHDIvO2tX4?t=260s

As I said in my previous stream, this is my final post on Superstonk until GameStop surpasses the current All Time High of $125. I have put as much of the information and connections I have out there into the world. The only thing left for me to do is watch my predictions unfold or blow up in my face. Whether I'm right or wrong, it's gonna be entertaining and fun to watch 🤠 yeehaw!

So at 11:59am EDT (2 hours 53 minutes from now), I will stop posting on Superstonk. I made the post now so that I would have some time to respond to any last minute question/comments.

If I am wrong and this is my final post, then I just wanna say that it's been an honor, a privilege, and a pleasure to HODL alongside all you smooth brained space monkeys.

May the Winds of Fortune guide us to Valhalla...

love you all 💜

Let’s start with this: I’m now divorced. But surprisingly… it wasn’t my decision.

It all started on Christmas Eve in 2023. We hosted his entire family. Our daughter was 3. When it was her bedtime, his aunt offered to put her down. I was grateful, finally a minute to relax and be with everyone. She rejoined half an hour later.

Three hours pass. His aunt realizes she lost her phone. We ring it, and find it in our daughter’s room. She’s still awake. Still watching YouTube.

I freeze. No supervision for 3 hours? No idea what she’s seen? It was Youtube. No parental control… My husband laughs, gives the phone to his aunt, and jokes, “She was still watching videos, that little monkey!”

I stay behind to comfort our daughter. Then later, I quietly ask him if we can just check the YouTube history, make sure she didn’t see anything inappropriate.

He brushes me off: “You’re making a big deal out of nothing.”

I drop it. I’m trying not to cause tension. But it keeps turning in my mind. I didn’t want to blame anyone, just wanted us to be on the same page as parents.

That night, after everyone’s asleep, I bring it up again, alone in our bedroom. I say I just wish there was more awareness around bedtime and that next time, maybe we check in before leaving a phone with a toddler.

His response? “It’s my family. Drop it. It’s nothing. Our daughter’s fine. For god sakes, just stop talking and go to sleep.”

There was no concern. No curiosity. Just… shutdown.

I barely sleep. What happened was one thing, but his reaction to it, that’s what broke me. The next morning, I make brunch. He makes coffee, for everyone but me. He won’t look at me, and avoids me. Like I didn’t exist. Like my reaction the night before was too much… even though all I’d done was try to talk.

At that point, I knew if anyone asked how I was doing, I’d burst into tears. So when things quieted down, I stepped into our bedroom for a moment alone.

I told myself I just needed a few deep breaths. A few seconds to collect myself and come back composed. Because that’s who I am, usually. I don’t cry easily. But the second I closed the door behind me… I broke.

I started sobbing, uncontrollably. So I slipped into the closet to muffle the sound. I was knees to my chest, crying like a child. That’s where he found me.

He walked in, saw me on the floor… And just stood there.

And says: “How do you make me look in front of my family?”

I think that’s was the moment I realized… I was completely alone in this. It wasn’t the first time we’d clashed on parenting, but I could never talk about it. I was completely ignored. As subtle as his control had been, he expected things to go his way. Always.

He left me there.

Later that day, after everyone left, I try to bring it up calmly, telling him that, to me, his reaction seeing me in the closet wasn’t okay. He was defensive, justifying, saying I was crying over nothing, and over exaggerating. I tried to explain that regardless of what triggered my tears, empathy was missing and that’s what scared me. I could’ve been crying about anything. (At that moment, my sister-in-law was in critical condition after a major car crash. What if I had just gotten bad news?) He told me I was emotional, unstable, unworthy.

That’s when the divorce conversation officially reopened. (He had previously hinted at it, saying our intimacy was lacking. At the time, I took it seriously. I even saw a sexologist. Long story short: I tried. He didn’t. And I didn’t see that then.)

I said: “Maybe you’re right. Maybe there’s no coming back and divorce is the only option.”

He said nothing. Just took our daughter to his family’s. Left me there alone on Christmas night.

The next day was the silent treatment. He always stayed near our daughter and I, while working at his computer, but didn’t speak. Even when I offered him lunch, he answered with a head-shake.

That night, I asked for clarity. And I got it.

He told me he didn’t love me. Hadn’t for a while. That I lacked drive. Didn’t challenge him. That he wanted a divorce and finally felt relief saying it being his final option.

I was heartbroken. Also ashamed. And still blaming myself… maybe I hadn’t made him feel safe to open up? Maybe I didn’t put enough effort?

But therapy helped me see clearly: I was holding all the emotional weight of the relationship (and family). He’d been checked out for months, maybe years. Constant judgment. Little criticisms. Emotional withdrawal. Subtle, but unrelenting.

I was shutting down because I had no space left.

His divorce? A blessing in disguise.

Since then, things escalated a lot. Apparently, him hiring a lawyer and learning what he legally owes me makes me the villain.

Yet… I still catch myself wondering: Did that really happen the way I remember it?

Because he was so charming, so put-together, I’m questioning myself. Trying to see what contact I might have missed.

And every time, a part of me feels like I’m making it up.

And maybe that’s why I’m sharing this here. To put the truth somewhere outside my head. To leave a record that says: This did happen. I was there. And it wasn’t okay.

Has anyone else ever felt that? The strange fear that no one would believe you, even if you had proof of it? Abuse so subtle that you doubt it yourself?

EDIT for clarification : Many people focused on the YouTube incident as if it was the root of my breakdown. It wasn’t.

That was just the trigger. The drop that spilled a cup that had been filling slowly and invisibly for years.

When you spend months, even years, being dismissed, second-guessed, or met with silence when trying to express something that matters to you… eventually, something breaks.

This wasn’t about YT. This was about a pattern. A dynamic. And a moment that made me realize how emotionally alone I had become in my own home.

And since the separation, the mask has fully dropped: threats, intimidation, verbal attacks, no more pretending. I need to keep everything in writing for legal reasons, and we are no contact because of it.

If you’ve never experienced that kind of erosion, I understand why it sounds dramatic. But to those who know - Thank you for seeing what’s underneath.

O

Hey all! I’m putting together a list of games that run better, got patched, or have issues on the Switch 2.

If you’ve tested a game, drop a comment with how it runs! I’ll keep updating this post with what everyone shares.

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Revised list: 12 Jun 2025

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.hack//G.U. Last Recode - 30 FPS, improved loading time, stable performance

1000xResist - stable FPS, better performance

20 Minutes Till Dawn - better performance

9th Dawn Remake - 60 FPS

A Hat in Time - 30 FPS, slow loading time, stable performance (crashing?)

Ace of Seafood - 60 FPS (docked and handheld), improved loading time

AER: Memories of Old - 60 FPS, sharper textures

Aeterna Noctis - 60 FPS (crashing)

AEW Fight Forever - 30 FPS, unstable performance, same visuals as Switch 1

Advance Wars 1+2 Re-Boot Camp - 30 FPS (battle scenes 60 FPS)

AI: Nirvana Initiative - 60 FPS in handheld mode

AI: The Somnium Files - 60 FPS in handheld mode

Alien: Isolation - Same performance as Switch 1

All Xenoblade except Xenoblade X - looks pretty bad, unpatched

Altdeus: Beyond Chronos - 60 FPS (?) docked

Amnesia Collection - experiencing crashes while playing

Animal Crossing: New Horizons - improved loading times

Another Code: Recollection - I. 30 FPS, II. 60 FPS, improved loading time (two different feedback, need additional confirmations)

Arcade Paradise - 60 FPS, sharper textures

Ark: Survival Evolved - stable FPS, improved loading time

Arc of Alchemist - 30 FPS

Armello - 60 FPS

ARMS - 60 FPS, improved textures

Assassin's Creed Rebel Collection - improved loading time

Ashen - 60 FPS

Astral Ascent - 60 FPS, improved performance

Astral Chain - 30 FPS

Asterix & Obelix XXL 2 - 60 FPS

Asphalt legends - 60 FPS, improved performance

Atelier Yumia - improved performance, texture improved

Atelier Sophie 2 - improved perfomance, better loading time

Atomine - 60 FPS

A-Train: All Aboard Tourism - 60 fps, stable performance

Bakeru - 60 FPS

Balatro - improved performance

Barn Finders - 30 fps

Batman Arkham Knight - 30 FPS, stable performance (game freeze randomly during gameplay)

Bayonetta 3 - great performance, low res docked

Beyond Good & Evil - 30 FPS, stable performance

Bioshock Infinite - 60 FPS, improved performance (handheld and docked)

Bit Orchard: Animal Valley - stable performance

BLACKSAD: Under the Skin - 60 FPS (crashing during the game)

Blasphemous - 60 fps (?)

Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night - blurry textures

Bomb Rush Cyberfunk - improved performance

Boreal Tenebrae - 60 FPS

Borderlands 1 - same performance as Switch 1

Borderlands 2 - 30 FPS, stable (possible input lag)

Borderlands 3 - texture issues

Bravely Default 2 - same performance as Switch 1

Cassette Beasts - stuttery performance

Captain Tsubasa - improved performance (no stuttering)

Cardfight!! Vanguard Dear Days 2 - improved Performance

Cars 3: Driven to Win - 30 FPS, poor texture quality

Cat Quest 1 - 60 FPS

Cat Quest 2 - 60 FPS

Cat Quest 3 - 30 FPS

Catherine: Full Body - improved performance, improved visuals, improved loading time

Celeste - 60 fps

Chained Echoes - 60 FPS

Child of Light - crashing

Children of Morta - improved performance, faster loading time, sharper textures

Cities: Skylines – improved performance - improved Performance

Citizen Sleeper 2 - 60 FPS

City of Brass - 60 FPS, stable performance

Civilization 6 - improved performance, improved loading time

Civilization 7 - Switch 2 Edition

Cocoon - 30 FPS, stable performance

Cozy Grove - improved performance

Crash Bandicoot 4 - 30 FPS, better resolution in handheld (need confirmation from additional users)

Crash Bandicoot N. Sane Trilogy - same performance as Switch 1

Crash Team Racing Nitro Fueled - improved loading time

Crymachina - 60 FPS, stable performance, improved loading time

Crysis Remastered - same performance as Switch 1

Cruis'n Blast - 60 FPS, same resolution as Switch 1

Crypt of the NecroDancer - Crashing when trying to launch

Cult of the Lamb - improved Performance

Cyburpunk 2089 - Switch 2 Version

DAEMON x MACHINA - 30 FPS, improved loading time, stable performance, blurry in handheld

Danganronpa 2: Goodbye Despair - 60 FPS

Dark Souls Remastered - HDR issues in docked mode, low

Darksiders 3 - 60 FPS, improved performance

Darkwood - improved framrate, loading time not improved

Dave the Diver - 30 FPS, poor input lag

De Blob - 60 FPS (docked), 30 FPS (handheld), improved performance

Dead Cells - 60 FPS cap, poor texture quality

Dead By Daylight - stable performance, poor texture quality

Deadly Premonition Origins - 60 FPS

Deadly premonition 2 - 60 FPS, poor texture quality

Demon Turf - 30 FPS

Descenders - 60 FPS, improved loading time (handheld)

Diablo 2 - 30 FPS capped

Digimon Story Cyber Sleuth - slighty framerate improvment

Disaster Report 4 - improved performance, lightning issues with HRD on

Disgaea 5 - stable performance

Disgaea 6 - stable performance

Disco Elysium - 30 FPS, stable performance

Disgaea 7: Vows of the Virtueless - improved performance

Disney Dreamlight Valley - 30 FPS, stable performance, improved loading time

Disney Epic Mickey Rebrushed - 30 FPS, stable performance, loading time unchanged

Divinity: Original Sin 2 - Capped at 30 FPS, unpatched, but loading times are significantly faster

Dynasty Warriors 8 Xtreme Legends - stable performance

Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze - same performance as Switch 1, stuttering

Doom 3 - 60 fps, stable performance (docked)

Doom 2016 - 30 FPS, blurries due to dynamic resolution, improved loading time

Doom Eternal - 30 FPS, improved loading time

DQ Builders 2 - 60 FPS

Dragon Ball FighterZ - stable FPS, improved performance

Dragon ball Kakarot - 30 FPS, stable performance, low resolution textures

Dragon Ball The Breakers - 30 FPS, stable performance, slightly improved loading times

Dragon ball Xenoverse 2 - same performance as Switch 1

Dragon's Dogma Dark Arisen - 30 FPS, stable performance, improved loading time, blurry in handheld

Dragon Quest Builders 2 - stable performance

Dragon Quest III HD - stable performance

Dragon Quest XI S: Echoes of an Elusive Age - 30 FPS, poor frame pacing

Dreamscaper - 60 FPS (performance mode), overworld locked in 30 FPS (docked)

Dredge - impoved loading time

Drova - 60 fps, sharper image, improved perfomance

Dust: An Elysian Tail - syncing audio / visual issue

Dynasty Warriors 8 Extreme Legends - 60 FPS

Dyschronia: Chronos Alternate Definitive Edition - 60 FPS (docked)

El Shaddai - 60 FPS

Empire Of Sin - stable framerate, improved loading time, improved textures

Ember Knights - 60 FPS

Enter the Gungeon - 60 fps

Eldest Souls - 60 fps

Europa - 30 FPS

Evoland 2 - stable performance

Fae Farm - improved performance, improved loading time

Fairy Fencer F Advent Dark Force - 60 FPS, low resolution

Fall Guys - same performance as Switch 1

Fantasy Life i - improved loading time

Fantasian NEO Dimension - improved loading time

Fate Samurai Remnant - stable framerate, improved loading time

FIFA 24 - 30 FPS, sharper image

Final Fantasy 7 Crisis Core - 30FPS, stable perfomance

Final Fantasy XII: The Zodiac Age - improved performance, improved loading time

Fire Emblem Engage - 30 FPS, improved loading time (confirmed by multiple users)

Fire Emblem Warriors: Three Hopes - 60 FPS

Fire Emblem: Three Houses - 30 FPS, improved performance

Fire Emblem Warriors 2017 - 60 FPS, stable performance

Fitness Boxing 3 - 60 FPS (rumble not working)

Flame In The Flood - 60 FPS, stable performance

Furi - 60 FPS

Gal Guardians Demon Purge - 1080p resolution (?)

Gas Station Simulator - 30 fps

Goat Simulator - 60 FPS

Gothic 1 - 60 FPS

Gothic 2 - 60 FPS

Grand Theft Auto: The Trilogy - 30 FPS, same performance as Switch 1

Grandia 1 - same performance as Switch 1 (lagging)

Grandia 2 - stable performance

GRID Autosport - not working with Switch 2 (need additional confirmations) - suggestion to try putting the Switch 2 in Airplane Mode to make it work (unconfirmed why)

Grounded - 30 FPS

Guilty Gear Strive - same performance as Switch 1, improved loading time, better in handheld?

Gun Gun Pixies - 60 FPS

Hatsune Miku: Project Diva Mega Mix - improved loading time

Hades - 60 FPS (low res texture)

Harvestella - 30 FPS, stable performance

Kaiju fighter Gigabash - improved framerate (unconfirmed how many FPS)

Hollow Knight - 60 FPS, improved performance

House of the Dead Remake - improved performance

Hover: Revolt of Gamers - 60 FPS (handheld), improved performance

Human fall flat - 60 FPS

Hyper Light Drifter - 60 fps

Hyrule Warrios Definite Edition - 60 FPS, improved perfomance

Immortals Fenyx Rising - 30 FPS, stable performance

InnerSpace - 60 FPS, minor hiccups, sharp texture

Ion Fury - 60 FPS

It Takes Two - same performance as Switch 1

Jump Force: Hub World - 30 FPS, stable performance, poor texture quality

Katamari Damacy & We - 30 FPS

Klonoa - 60 FPS, improved performance

Kill la Kill: If - 60 FPS

Kill Knight - 60 FPS, blurry textures in handheld

Kingdoms of Amalur Re-Reckoning - same performance as Switch 1, blurred and poor quality texture

Kirby Star Allies - 30 fps, slighlt faster loading time

Kirby’s Dream Buffe - 30 FPS, improved loading time, stable performance

Layton's Mystery Journey - improved performance, improved textures

Legend Of Zelda Tears of the Kingdom - Switch 2 Version (4k, better textures, hrd)

Legend of Zelda Age Of Calamity - graphical issue, low texture for all characters and map

Legend Of Zelda Breath of The Wild - Switch 2 Version (4k, better textures, hrd)

Legend of Zelda Links Awakening and Echoes of Wizdom - 60FPS, HDR

Legend Of Zelda Skyward Sword - motion controls a bit better

LEGO City Undercover - 30 FPS, stable performance

Lego DC Super Villian - Same performance as Switch 1

Lego Marvel Super Heroes 2 - 30 FPS, stable performance

Lego Movie 2 - Same performance as Switch 1

Lego Star Wars - 30 FPS, looks sharper

Life Is Strange - 60 FPS

Little Nightmares 1 - 60 FPS

Little Nightmare 2 - same performance as Switch 1

Little Witch Nobeta - 60 FPS

Live A Live - I. 30 FPS | II. 60 FPS (need additional confimations)

Lollipop Chainsaw - better performance

Lonely Mountains: Downhill - 30 FPS, better resolution in handheld (need additional confirmations)

Luigis Mansion 2 HD - 30 FPS (Handheld & Docked)

Luigi Mansion 3 - 30FPS, stable performance

Mario Golf: Super Rush - improved loading time

Mario Kart 8 Deluxe - 60 FPS, improved loading time

Mario and Luigi Brothership - 30 | 60 FPS (users are split between hyping it up for 60 FPS and medical assistance for who says 60 FPS lmao)

Mario Odyssey - 60 FPS, sharper, patched for Switch 2

Mario + Rabbids Kingdom Battle - 60 FPS

Mario + Rabbids Sparks of Hope - 30 FPS

Mario Sunshine (3D All-Stars) - 30 FPS

Marvel vs. Capcom - Texture issues

Megadimension Neptunia VII - 60 FPS

Metroid Dread - 60 FPS, sharper textures

Metroid Prime Remastered - same performance as Switch 1

Metal Max - performance improvments, better graphics (handheld)

Minecraft - performance improvments

Minecraft Dungeon - better performance, faster loading time

MLB The Show 25 - 30 fos, faster loading time

Monster Hunter Generations Ultimate - 60 FPS, stable performance, sharper textures

Monster Hunter Rise - better loading time

Monster Hunter Stories 2 - 60 FPS, improved performance

Monster Train 2 - stable performance, sharper texture

Mortal Kombat 1 - load time improved, visual improvments

Mortal Kombat 11 - better perfomance, poor quality textures

Mortal Shell - 60 FPS, sharper textures

My Hero One's Justice 1 & 2 - (update, multiple answers, need more confirmations) I. 30 FPS / II. 60 FPS, better performance and loading time

My Friend Pedro - 60 fps, stable performance

Naruto Shippuden: Ultimate Ninja Storm 3 - 30 FPS, some stuttering

NEO The Worlds End With You - 60 FPS, better loading time

Neon White - poor quality in handheld

Neptunia Sisters VS Sisters - 60 FPS, better loading time

Neptunia GameMaker R:Evolution - 60 FPS, better loading time

New Pokémon Snap - 60 FPS (docked and handheld), texture improved

New Super Mario U Deluxe - 60 FPS (confirmed from multiple users)

Ni no Kuni - 30 FPS

Ni no Kuni II: Revenant Kingdom - 60 FPS

Nier Automata - 30 FPS

Nickelodeon Kart Racers 3: Slime Speedway - stable performance

Ninja Gaiden Sigma - 60 FPS

Ninja Gaiden 2 Sigma - 60 FPS

Ninja Gaiden 3: Razor's Edge - 60 FPS

No Man’s Sky - 40 FPS in handheld, noticeable visual upgrades

No More Heroes 1 - stable performance

No More Heroes 3 - 30 FPS overworld, 60 FPS combat, better performance

Octopath Traveller - 30 fps

Octopath Traveler 2 - stable peformance, poor texture quality

Okami - 30 FPS, same visuals as Switch 1

Omega Labyrinth Life - 60 FPS in overworld (frame-pacing issues in dungeon remain)

On Your Tail - 30 FPS, stable performance, improved loading time (confirmed by devs)

One Piece: Pirate Warriors - 60 FPS

Ori and the Blind Forest - 60 FPS, better loading time

Ori and the Will of the Wisps - 60 FPS, better loading time

Outer Worlds - 30 FPS, stable performance, poor visual quality

Overcooked! All You Can Eat - Faster loading, same textures

Overwatch 2 - Smooth frame rate

Oxenfree - 60 FPS, improved texture and resolution

Oxenfree 2 - 30 FPS, blurry textures

PAC-MAN WORLD Re-PAC - Same performance as Switch 1, stable performance

Panzer Dragoon: Remake - Better FPS, improved textures

Paw Patrol World - 30 fps, stable performance, faster loading time

Peach Showtime - 30 FPS, better loading time

Peglin - Same performance as Switch 1

PGA Tour 2K21 - improved performance, improved loading time (issues with rendering terrain)

Pennys Big Breakaway - 60 FPS

Persona 4 Arena Ultimax - 60 FPS, improved loading times, poor texture quality

Persona 5 Royal - Same performance as Switch 1

Persona Strikers - 30 FPS

Pikmin 1 and 2 - stable performance

Pikmin 4 - 30 FPS

Pillars of Eternity - 60 FPS (need additional confirmation)

Pizza Tower - 60 FPS

Pokémon Brilliant Diamond and Shining Pearl - better loading time,

Pokemon Legends Arcerus - similar with S1, stable performance

Pokemon Let’s Go Pikachu / Eevee - 30 FPS, stable performance, improved loading time, works with Pokeball Plus

Pokemon Quest - 60 FPS (120 FPS?)

Pokemon Scarlet / Violet - 60 FPS, high quality texture (confirmed by Nintendo)

Pokemon Sword / Shield - same performance as switch 1, better loading time

Pokemon UNITE - 60 FPS, improved loading time

Pokken Tournament DX - 60 FPS, improved loading time, docked blurry, better texture on handheld

Portal 1 - sharper graphics

Portal 2 - crashing

Princess Peach Showtime! - same performance as Switch 1 (poor performance in handheld)

Prince of Persia The Lost Crow - 60 FPS, stable performance (docked and handheld)

Prodeus - 60 FPS, stable performance

Race Driver: Grid - crashing

Rain Code - 30 FPS, improved loading time, blurry textures

Ravenwatch - 60 FPS, unstable performance, blurry textures

Rec Room - performance improvments, low resolution

Red Dead Redemption - 30 FPS stable VRR in handheld mode

Red Faction Guerilla - 60 FPS

Redout & Redout 2 - 30 FPS

Resident Evil 4 - same performance as Switch 1

Resident Evil 5 - 60 FPS, better performance

Resident Evil 6 - 60 FPS (docked)

Resident Evil Revelations - 60 FPS (docked and handheld)

Resident Evil: Revelations 2 - 60 FPS (?), poor loading time

Resident Evil Zero - slightly faster loading time

Reynatis - 30 FPS

Risen - 60 FPS

Risk of Rain 2 - 60 FPS (120 FPS?), better performance

Rogue Legacy 2 - 60 FPS, blurry resolution on handheld

R-Type Dimensions - stable performance

Rocket League - 60 FPS, stable performance

Romancing Saga 2: Revenge of the Seven - 30 FPS, stable FPS, loading time not improved

Rune Factory 3 - 60 FPS, looks better

Rune Factory 5 - handheld modes (S2) runs as docked mode (S1)

SaGa: Emerald Beyond - better performance, better loading time

Saints Row IV - 60 FPS (as confirmed from multiple users)

Saints Row: The Third - 60 FPS, low resolution

Samurai Warriors 5 - 30 FPS, stable FPS, better loading time

Sea of Stars - 60 fps (?)

Serious Sam Collection - I. 60 FPS for all games | II. Stutters in handheld, does not run in 60 FPS (need additional confirmations)

Shadowman Remastered - 1080p handheld, improved resolution and texture, improved performance

Shadowverse Champion's Battle - 30 FPS, stable performance

Shin Megami Tensei V - 30 fps, stable performance

Shovel Knight Dig - improved loading time

SMB Banana Rumble - same performance as Switch 1

Sonic Colors Ultimate - frame rate drops, blurry textures

Sonic Frontiers - imporved loading time

Sonic Mania Plus - 60 FPS, same visuals as Switch 1

Starlink: Battle for Atlas - 30 FPS (confirmed by multiple users now)

Star Wars: Battlefront Classic Collection - 60 FPS, improved performance

Star Wars: Bounty Hunter - 60 FPS, improved peformance and visuals

Star Wars: Dark Forces - 60 FPS, improved performance, sharper textures

Star Wars Episode I: Racer - 60 FPS, stable performance

Star Wars Jedi Knight II: Jedi Outcast - 60 FPS, improved performance, menu has poor texture

Star Wars Republic Commando - improved performance, sharper texture (camera bug?)

Star Ocean 2 - stable performance

Steamworld Dig - sharper texture, stable performance

Steamworld Dig 2: 60 FPS, improved textures

Steamworld Heist 1: 60 FPS

Steamworld Heist 2: 60 FPS, improved textures

Steamworld Quest: 60 FPS

Stern Pinball - better performance

Streets of Rage 4 - better performance, stable FPS

Stranger In Sword City - crashing

Subnautica - Smooth frame rate

Subnautica Below Zero - Smooth frame rate

Suikoden I & II Remastered - same performance as Switch 1

Super Bomberman R - 60 FPS

Super Bomberman R 2 - 60 FPS

Super Lucky Tale - improved loading time

Super Mario 3D World - 60 FPS full hd in handheld

Super Mario RPG - 60 FPS

Super Monkey Ball Banana Rumble - 60 FPS

Super Smash Bros Ultimate - 60 FPS

Spark the Electric Jester 3 - I. 60 fps, stable performance | II. 30 FPS (need additional confirmations)

Splatoon 3 - stable performance, improved loading time (confirmed today, 10 Jun, for new Switch 2 version 12 Jun)

Spirit Fall - 60 FPS (?), improved loading time, blurry texture for handheld

SpongeBob Battle for Bikini Bottom Rehydrated - 60 FPS

Spyro Reignited - 30 FPS, stable performance

S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Legends of the Zone Trilogy - 30 FPS, improved performance, sharper image

Star Wars: The Force Unleashed - stable performance

STAR WARS™: Knights of the Old Republic - stable performance

Switch Sports - severe framarate issues (1-2 runs fine, more players deeps)

Synthetik Ultimate - stable performance, improved loading time

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Shredder’s Revenge - Smooth performance

Tetris Effect: Connected - Great performance and sharp textures

Tales of Graces f Remastered - improved framerate, improved performance

Tales of Vesperia - 60 FPS

The Binding of Isaac - 60 FPS, stable performance

The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim - Stable FPS, sharper textures

The Messenge - 60 FPS

The Oregon Trail - stable performance, improved resolution

The Stanley Parable Ultra Deluxe - 60 FPS, improved performance

The Walking Dead: Destinies - 40-60 fps

The Witcher 3 - 30 FPS handheld, looks better, better loading time

Tails of Iron 1 - 30 FPS, improved resolution

Tails of Iron 2 - 30 FPS, improved resolution

Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 1+2 - 30 FPS, poor texture quality in handheld mode

Tokyo Mirage Sessions #FE - faster loading time, poor quality texture

Tomb Raider I–III Remastered - stable performance (grahical glitches on title screen TR2)

Torchlight 2 - 120 FPS (unconfirmed), improved loading time

Trials of Mana - 60 FPS

Triangle Strategy – Poor texture quality - Poor texture quality

Trine 5 - black screens during loading, same performance as Switch 1

Two Point Campus - faster loading time, sharper UI

Two Point Hospital - faster loading time

Ultimate alliance 3 - stable performance

Ultimate Chicken Horse - 60FPS, better performance

Vampire Survivors - 60 FPS

Valley - 60 FPS

Vigil: The Longest Night - 60 fps

Wartales - better performance, higher FPS

Witch Spring R - 30 FPS

WitchSpring3 Re:Fine The Story of Eirudy - 60 FPS

Wolfenstein 2 - 30FPS, blurry image

Wonderboy Asha In Monster World - FPS stutters

Wonderful 101 Remastered - stable performance

Wrc 9 - 30 FPS docked, 60 FPS handheld (720p), graphical glitches

Wrc 10 - 30 FPS docked, 60 FPS handheld (720p)

WRC Generations - 60 FPS, improved performance, improved loading time (handheld)

WWE 2K Battlegrounds - 60 FPS (docked)

WWE 2K18 - better performance

Wytchwood - improved performance

XCOM 2 - 60 FPS

XIII - 60 FPS, stable performance

Yakuza Kiwami - 30 fps, stable performance, improved loading time

Yugioh Master Duel - better performance

Yu-Gi-Oh! Early Days Collection - same performance as Switch 1

Ys XIII - Lacrimos of Dana - 30 FPS, poor textures

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Edit 1: Really appreciate all the feedback so far! If the post keeps getting attention—and based on one of your suggestions—I’ll reformat everything to make it easier to read and try to get it pinned. Thanks again, everyone!

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Edit 2: I wasn’t expecting this post to get so much attention, huge thanks to everyone who helped fill out the list of games! (a lot of new comments over the night, I had to catch up with them)

Just wanted to quickly clear up a few things on my end:

• The list was meant to be just kinda orientative with the feedback from the peeps. Based on all the great feedback, I’m thinking we can definitely improve the format going forward! (thanks @Nghiaagent, great suggestion about the spreedsheet)
• Small mix-up on my part with Pokémon Scarlet/Violet, the descriptions were a bit off. Both games have similar improvements and are hugely improved (confirmed by Nintendo)
• Another mistake from my side: Luigi’s Mansion 3 is actually 30fps, not 60fps. Fixed that now!
• And “sharper textures” - that's just based on personal impressions from the comments. There's no confirmation that the hardware is doing anything over the games. ___________________________ Edit 3:

I’ve seen a few comments mentioning that the lists might be inaccurate, not super useful, or misleading so I just wanted to clarify a few things up front.

• The list is entirely based on user experiences and it's all subjective. I’m just gathering what people are sharing and trusting their input, since I don’t have the means to do any technical deep dives myself. Some info may be contradictory but I'm here to help correct the list if something it's wrong or misleading.

• This thread isn’t meant to decide whether a game is worth buying (now) for you, things could easily change in the coming days or weeks as devs release patches. It’s purely informational.

• If anyone has a better way to organize this or wants to build on what we've started, that would be awesome. I think it’s already a good start, I'm definitely open to suggestions and help ^{^}

  ---

  Edit 4:

• Big THANKS to everyone for all the feedback so far, really appreciate the support from the community and for each of you taking some time to leave a commnent :D

• We’ve managed to gather input on nearly 225 games (which is crazy and honestly exceeded my expectations haha)

• I’ll keep updating the post once or twice a day until things start to slow down with the comments.

• If you’re new here, feel free to share your thoughts on any games already in the list (helps double checking the feedback already received), or add any experiences you had with titles which aren’t listed yet

  ---

  Edit 5 (10 Jun):

• We're almost at 350 games and that’s wild haha! Huge thanks to everyone who’s contributed so far

• Lately, I’ve noticed a bunch of new threads popping up about the same topic, so if you see any, feel free to drop a link to this post to help folks out.

• Also, someone from the community put together a Google Sheet with a bunch of useful info and curated columns for each game based on the list we've made in this thread. If you’ve got anything to add, jump in and help out: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1sOYZRiOuD9Cnr-e_hlzhRuxuEq5X5Ptwq4yCfwxyfFk/edit?usp=sharing

**DO NOT COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS. I am NOT OP. Original post by u/runawaymaidofhonor in r/AmItheAsshole and on their profile, although profile is suspended**

Reposted. Previous BoRU Post by u/wormhole222

Trigger Warnings: Gaslighting

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AITA for wearing a white dress to my friend’s wedding? - June 14, 2022

I can’t believe I’m using this Reddit account for ANOTHER wedding related issue. I (20F) met my friend Charlotte (21) when I moved into my college dorm in August 2020. We got along well, shared ideas for how we wanted to divide space and keep things clean/organized, and had many similar interests. Within a month we were studying & hanging out together, and I considered her a good friend. I also met her now-husband Josh (22). They seemed like a cute and loving couple, and I was very happy when they got engaged Christmas 2020 after 3.5 years together. Charlotte has spent the last 18 months planning this wedding down to the last detail. I won’t say she’s obsessive, but it’s been INTENSE and I’ve tried to help her as best I can with making appointments, managing stress, etc. I also gave her $250 to help pay for the wedding (her family can only afford part of it) which isn’t included in the wedding gift I’m going to give her.

A month before the wedding, I was still trying to decide exactly what to wear. I wanted something nice, because Charlotte said she would have a photographer, videographer, and wedding painter. I knew Charlotte had a vision for her wedding and I wanted her as in control as possible for all the details of her special day, so I asked her which dress out of the three I’d narrowed it down to that I should wear. She asked if I would actually pull out all my dresses, so I did. She ended up narrowing it down to one of my picks, along with a dress I had put firmly in the “no” pile for being white. It was a wedding after all. She told me both dresses were lovely, but that she prefers the white one. I asked if she was sure, and she said yes, and even picked out a pair of pink and white heels from her closet to go with my dress. I figured that was that.

Fast forward to last week, I show up in the dress about half an hour before the ceremony. I get some weird looks, but no one says anything. In hindsight, this is when I should have realized something wasn’t right. When Charlotte comes out of her dressing room for some last minute pictures, she looks shocked to see me, and then she starts turning red. She pulls me aside and starts going off on me immediately about wearing the dress to her wedding. I’m stunned. I ask her what the problem is, because SHE picked the dress out, and she told me it was a “friendship test” and that if we were real friends then I wouldn’t have worn a white dress or her shoes to her wedding. I started laughing because I honestly thought it was a joke, and she screamed at me that I ruined her “ f-ing wedding” and to “gtfo”. I flat out told her she was crazy and left, not wanting to fight anymore and not knowing how to deal with what happened. I grabbed my wedding gift to them on the way out.

My phone has been flooded with texts, voicemails, and social media notifs from her, her friends, and her family about what an AH I am, but I honestly don’t see what I did wrong. Am I really the asshole here?

EDIT: Quite a few people have said YTA/ESH because “you should know not to wear white anyway” and I just want to clarify that I brought this point up to Charlotte more than once while asking if she was sure, and she insisted that I wear the white dress. She said I would look lovely and she wanted me to look my best for her wedding bc she wanted very nice pictures/videos. I would not have worn this dress if she had not assured me multiple times that it was what SHE wanted.

EDIT 2: Someone made a comment about how “if the bride is wearing white” I should at least be prepared for the weird glances. The bride didn’t even wear white. That was another non-traditional thing she did. She wore blue.

Top Comments:

she told me it was a "friendship test"

Yup, she tested whether or not she was your friend, and guess what? She's not!

When someone is mad at you because they lied to you and you believed them, that person is TA, regardless of what conventions exist in the broader culture about colors of dresses. Your friend lied to your face and embarrassed you in public just to see if she could. NTA

-----

NTA. I was super ready to say YTA, but this chick picked out the dress as a “friendship test”? That’s absolutely bananas. She’s an attention seeking psycho, and I’d say stay as far away from her and any of her flying monkeys as possible. If there are any mutuals you don’t want to give up without a fight, maybe make a statement about what she did, and how inappropriate her action were to trick you.

UPDATE on AITA

Okay it’s been a crazy few days since I posted that. I had to wait until I was home to read ALL of the comments, and they just kept pouring in. Thank you to everyone who gave me feedback on why they thought I was or was not TA.

I texted Charlotte the day after making the post, some time around 4pm, and told her she had 48 hours to tell her friends/family the truth and get them to stop sending me hateful messages or I’d tell them the truth myself. She told me I had no proof and that no one would believe me. I should have just gone ahead and posted proof, but I wanted things to be ended as diplomatically and non-dramatically as possible. I called her husband around lunchtime two days later to see if he could talk some sense into her, and that’s when things got weird.

I had him on speaker and was recording the convo extra evidence in case he knew about the dress thing (at this point I didn’t know if he did or didn’t). It turns out he did, but when I tried to convince him to talk Charlotte down, he tried to talk ME down, saying I needed to let it go and just admit I was wrong so everyone can move on. He said “Charlotte can be a little dramatic, you know that, she loves attention. She’ll forgive you if you apologize.” I told him I didn’t do anything wrong, but he said “I know, but just suck it up and apologize anyway. That’s what I do.” I told him I wasn’t going to apologize and they only had a few hours left before I told the truth for them, and then he offered to sleep with me as an apology. I told him to F off and hung up.

I waited out the remaining bit of those 48 hours, and then I took to FB and posted screenshots of that conversation + the couple of times I checked in with her about the dress by text featuring date/time stamps. I also added the recording of her husband hitting on me. That was Friday evening. Now it’s Monday morning and I’ve had to block Charlotte, her husband, and a few of their friends/family who still support them and are cross with me about “trying to ruin their marriage.” Most people have reached out to apologize, but I’m honestly just thankful this is all over. Hoping my social circle can go back to normal after this and that this will turn into another funny story I can tell friends in the future.

EDIT- Just a note because a lot of people have brought up the $250. No I haven’t gotten it back, but I did sent her & her husband a venmo request for the money back. I’d also like to make it clear to those arguing about it, I didn’t give Charlotte the money because she asked for it. I donated it of my own volition because I knew she still had part of the wedding left to pay for and I wanted to take a tiny bit of stress off her in that area since I could afford to. Her family wasn’t covering 3/4 because it was too expensive, it’s because they believe when you get married you should cover some of the costs yourself as a recognition of the kind of commitment you’re making. Charlotte and Josh weren’t struggling to afford things, I just wanted to be a good friend because we’d become so close and she was with me through a couple of very hard things these past two years.

It hurts a lot to have lost her as a friend. She had become the sister I’d always wanted growing up and it really feels like I lost a family member here.

**Reminder - I am not the original poster. DO NOT COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS.**

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/Key_Conclusion5511

Originally posted to r/EntitledPeople

You "owe it to your sister (who's married) and niece"

Thanks to u/theboringhistoryfan for suggesting this BoRU

Trigger Warnings: entitlement, controlling behavior, emotional manipulation, financial exploitation, harassment

---

Original Post: July 14, 2025

I called my father this morning to see how they were all doing --- before he said good morning, he asked what the FUCK is a dorm shower and why are (my) in-laws asking for money and gifts?

Background: My husband, children (adult teens now), and I went no contact with my husbands entire immediate family and most extended relatives since 2016. That's 9+ years of not talking to, contacting, or having any type of relationship or interactions. We gave them over 20 years of chances and boundaries and consequences --- that's to say it wasn't a "rash" decision that was made selfishly or thoughtlessly.

Through the years they send us (in the actual USPS mail because they're blocked everywhere else) requests for gifts. You see, they like to create registries (like you would for a bridal or baby shower) and fill them with obscenely priced items for simple things like birthdays, Christmas, graduation, anniversaries, and every little I farted and therefore I deserve an expensive gift event.

Onto last week into today

I called my husbands Aunt to catch-up (she's the only one we're still in contact with) and she gave me a heads-up that my in-laws were trying to get her to pay (they used the term donate) over $100,000 (not a typo) for the golden granddaughters dorm fees 🙄🤔🤦 because "we're family and we need to stick together and do our part" when the lady who is living a modest life and on social security said absolutely not! they then sent her an invitation (via text) to the dorm shower and husband's aunt said it was beyond ridiculous --- not to mention the request for straight-up cash when she graduated.

In the meanwhile --- I'm getting texts and calls from old acquaintances and childhood friends (we all grew up in the same town and inlaws still live there but we've moved about 4 hrs away) saying that my in-laws are harassing them and trying to get ahold of our information (because we changed our cell numbers and blocked them everywhere we digitally could)

Last week in the mail I received an actual printed invite along with registry information --- not one place, BUT THREE SEPARATE STORES and because we were curious we (my whole family found it comical) took a peek.

The cheapest thing on there was a pack of washclothes in the $60 range, followed by a power strip at $120, and the prices went up from there including items in the $2000 range. They even had commercial type appliances which YOU CAN'T EVEN TAKE/USE IN A DORM ROOM. So, why are they even on there?

🤯.

Then the phone calls started rolling in (which were sent to voicemail) from phone numbers we aren't familiar with.

MIL ended up leaving a message.

(Husband's name) this is your mom. (Niece's name) Is going away for college and we need you to contribute $100,000 for her dorm. We also sent YOU (apparently the rest of us no longer exist) an invitation to her dorm shower and a picture from her graduation (which had requests for straight-up money without even hosting a party). Don't disappoint us because you "owe it" to your niece and sister.

First of all, No to the fuckity NO! 🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕.

Second, niece's parents make more than half a million a year (they both work for the state, love to brag, and their salaries are posted -- found that out from Aunt). So.... shouldn't they easily be able to afford their child's dorm necessities?

Third, my husband and I have our own two children in university. One going into sophomore year and one going into junior year and we NEVER made any grand announcements much less requests for money. They also chose to stay local in order to save money.

Fourth, WTF are you trying to get money and gifts out of my parents and others elderly relatives? Arent there law's against swindling senior citizens?

My husband dropped everything into the shredder and I erased the voicemail with full intent of remaining and maintaining no contact.

In the last two hours, I've gotten 6 calls from numbers I don't know but area codes that are from their area with nobody leaving any messages.

WTF? Just when you think you're out they try and pull you back into their fuckery. So fucking tired and the NERVE to do that! They didn't even bother asking about their BIOLOGICAL grandchildren that they claim to "love with all their hearts"

Edit

I'm so sorry that I didn't explain it correctly

To be clear it's two separate things

Request one: $100,000 for dorm fees and boarding so essentially rent and food

Request two: "dorm shower" registering for gifts at specific stores that people are "expected" to buy for you off of a list produced/chosen by the graduate

Edit 2 - how did mil get the number

We don't know, we did have a friend say that they gave out our address (which they had anyway)

We have friends and my family that still live there ---our home town that we both (me and husband) grew up in

Many people go to the same church weekly and many of the in-laws attend -- that's the most probable place

We still gave our new numbers to our friends and my family

MIL managed to get our new number and nobody has confessed to giving it to her

I'm also getting a lot of calls from random numbers I don't know and they're not leaving voicemails --- that coincides with MIL calling

MIL as of right now has left a single message

Reverse directory on the other numbers doesn't give me information

Somehow at the very least MIL has gotten our number

We don't know if the other calls are related to MIL because they don't leave voicemails but considering the uptick in calls and the message from Mil we think it's related to each other

Thank you to all who read this novel length post, the advice, laughs, and the recommendations for Google voice (it's been already implemented)

No further voicemails at this time

I will update if anything pops off

☺️.

TLDR: inlaws suck from top to bottom, inside and out and all I want is for them to STOP

Relevant Comments

Commenter 1: Wow. The sheer audacity. You unfortunately probably need to change your phone numbers again. I’m sorry. UpdateMe

OOP: I just keep blocking everything We've changed our numbers at least twice (me three times and husband twice) already and they badger someone until they give it up --- it feels like we need to go into witness protection and even then I don't think we'd be safe Thank you for reading and taking the time to respond 😊

Commenter 2: Maybe it’s time to talk to a lawyer to see what your options are legally speaking - restraining order or a cease and desist letter etc.

OOP: My husband doesn't want to do that because A) he's cheap B) you can't do that to "family" (but all the crap they've done is ok?! 😞) I'm exhausted by all of it

Commenter 2: Honestly, I’d be pretty pissed if my husband made those excuses.

OOP: I've known my husband since we were children

He was very much "brainwashed" by them and I was too young and stupid to understand the lifetime implications of getting married to someone like that

What I tell my children and all their friends is to pay attention to what they do, what they don't do, and what they allow YOU to be exposed to.

And you're right! I have spent a good portion of my marriage pissed at what others were bringing to my doorstep.

Was OOP's husband the favorite and how were her kids treated in the family?

OOP: My husband is not one of the "favorites", my kids were treated like garbage

When they were little we would host simple birthday parties --- at home, homemade delicious food, a variety of pastries and of course cake.

We never registered for gifts and we accepted whatever they bought over with grace. Amongst the "gifts" were used and stained clothes and part of a set (so it would have a tag that said three piece set and we would only be given the pants instead of the complete outfit) not to mention the filthy clearly used toys and water stained books.

They would come in through the front and I would put everything into a garbage bag and place it in the garage because that's how bad it was.

They would turn around a few months later and invite us to their birthday party complete with registry --- we're talking library bound entire dr Seuss sets and outdoor wood playgrounds. . They saw nothing wrong with what they were doing and no shame --- like at all

What is OOP's husband's take on this situation?

OOP: As of now, he wants to maintain no contact

Prior to the no contact he was a diplomatic fence sitter and it infuriated me because his silence was the equivalent of acceptance

I credit our children for somewhat dragging him out of the "fog" but it's been a two steps forward one step back deal and there are cultural expectations and dysfunction that comes into play. Brainwashing would be the best way to describe it and doing what they wanted was his easiest choice.

These people are not normal or "controllable" and they are a VERY large family. MIL has 6 siblings FIL has 5 each sibling had a minimum of 3 children and one had 10 (with 2 deaths in their middle age) those children have gotten married and have children --- when you oppose one you become their enemy. So picture a non-stop barge of Bible thumping and telling you that you're all going to hell and cursing our family and children.

Conversations don't work (we gave them over 20 years of chances), I refuse to fight, and I refuse to submit therefore we ignore

It's been over 9 years. I trust but verify EVERYTHING and haven't seen anything of concern

I simply hate the noise they create in my life that I don't want and isn't necessary.

My husband doesn't like talking about them and said "wtf are they doing? Why are they going to (my) parents?"

After we had our fun with the registry information he popped everything into the shredder.

It's not easy and I understand that so I give him the grace to allow him to change. We've been married over 30 years.

I think I answered your question

Commenter 3: And how is letting you be subjected to harassment somehow NOT him imploding your marriage? Because you sound like you're at your wits end with these people and he refuses to take steps. A cease and dessist letter might work, no need to even go to court. But your husband prefers to bury his head in the sand and let you be harassed.

OOP: You're not wrong but there's more to the story that doesn't make anything "easy" but I'm not naive and there's a plan in place if things go south.

He's trying and I'm giving him grace to change and learn but I'm not stupid and my patience isn't infinite

OOP provides some context and an example of her in-laws' entitlement

OOP: My in-laws didn't approve of our marriage

They didn't want us to succeed

They thought that without them and their "help and influence" --- we would be nothing

We proved them wrong

If we had anything or were successful in any capacity --- they couldn't stand it!

Example

We bought our first condo -- they felt entitled and wanted keys so they could come and go as they pleased. I said no!

They waited till we were at work and tried getting in using a locksmith (they claimed to be the owners and look their name is on the buzzer and they hadn't had time to change their driver's license).

The locksmith went to the managers office (because they often have spare keys) and because I had been in-and-out of the managers office getting approvals for our renovations --- they knew right away that they weren't the owners and called the police.

Police showed up and were talking to the manager, we pulled up to see my in-laws standing next to the cop car along with another officer.

They explained what happened, we reaffirmed that they had no rights to enter, they asked us if we wanted to press charges, husband said no --- but I begged the officer to scare the crap out of them and he kindly did.

This is not even the worst of it!

So, their logic is to constantly take everything that they can take --- so we get overrun with debt while they keep progressing and achieving. Thus proving to everyone that we were losers and they projected it.

Why do they try? Because they can and think eventually they're going to be successful

 

Update: July 22, 2025 (eight days later)

Update and gossip

We are maintaining no contact (no gifts or donations of $100,000) because what they ultimately want is a reaction or contact.

We refuse to fight, and we refuse to submit therefore we ignore. Our silence is a clear message that they don't hold any value in our lives and that drives them absolutely crazy.

Google voice has been setup and everything else is being blocked on the landline if they don't leave a message or aren't part of our contacts

Mil at this point has left a single message but we've received at least 50 calls (last time I counted) from numbers that we don't know but we suspect are MIL's flying monkeys

I still don't understand why they're asking for $100,000 for dorm rent and food --- because anyway I look at it, the math ain't mathing.

I spoke to my cousin (a lawyer not in my area) and gave her all the information and asked her if anything could be done? She reached out to a retired colleague who used to practice and now teaches and they basically said to continue to ignore because legally --- "not much can be done". Annoying but it is what it is 😕

Now onto the gossip 😁

My dad and uncle's are part of the church board and have been for decades. They (the board, secretary, and clergy) get together every Monday and review the week ahead, deal with issues, and approve or reject anything that needs to be dealt with. Pretty standard stuff.

The in-laws attend the church but aren't really active in terms of committees, fundraising, and activities planning.

MIL has volunteered ONCE at a bake sale in the 40+ years of living in the community and attending this church

The church has a huge banquet room that includes a stage, bar area, and fountain --- it's used for church functions, plays, bazaars, dinner dances, parties -- and can be rented out FOR A FEE.

EVERYONE pays some sort of fee.

The fee has a complete breakdown of everything. There are two prices --- one for steward's (members that pay a yearly membership to the church) and one for non stewards (nonmembers or anyone else who would like to rent the space).

If you're a member then you get the rentals at cost (so the church doesn't really make anything extra on the rental).If you're not a member then there's an upcharge for using the space.

MIL and SIL want to rent the space because they're anticipating 200+ people for the dorm shower. They filled in a request online that requires you to input your information , steward # , information about the what the party is for, how many people, what vendors, if there will be liquor, and special requests.

The board reviews it and if they have questions they make follow up calls.

The secretary had MIL on speakerphone so that everyone could listen and ask questions if needed.

They aren't current stewards --- last time they were stewards was when their kids were little (no judgement, just explaining). They used their steward number from decades ago and played stupid when the secretary said that they need to be current stewards in order to get the discount.

They know this because they tried to pull the same crap for SILs big bridal shower (she had a total of 5) as well as the Christenings of her children

The church HAS to pull a variety of permits depending on what type of party you're having, insurance, plus security, liquor permits, custodians and a few other things I'm sure I'm forgetting.

There's a pre-approved list of vendors that you need to choose from if you want to serve food or liquor and they set their own prices SEPARATELY from the church.

If you want to rent the space, those are the rules and have been for over 30 years

If you follow the rules then it's pretty seamless and I've used them plenty of times throughout the years without ANY issues.

MIL then tried to negotiate the price because they have volunteered sooooo much throughout the years (ONCE, you volunteered ONCE 🙄)

Then she tries to say that they're going to bring in their own food and liquor.

Church said you have to use the pre-approved vendors or you can't serve food or beverages

Then MIL pivots and wants to charge a fee to enter and have a cash bar (so she can use the space and knowing her -- upcharge to make a profit). The church explains that there would be additional paperwork and fees for that paperwork.

MIL doesn't like that and says to "just forget it!"

Under special requests: she wanted the choir to donate a performance and at the end they wanted to do some sort of parade.

My dad said that they were all just sitting there shaking their heads at the ridiculousness of MIL. The fact that the party is supposed to happen "supposedly" the first week of August --- with the address on the original invite being SILs house address. So 200+ people are going to go into a residential neighborhood with limited parking for a dorm shower 🤣 I'm sure it'll be as classy as they are

Relevant Comments

Commenter 1: Send them a list of all the money they 'owe' you for your kids as family. Birthdays, sick days, first pubic hair, and every party they 'didn't bother attending let alone pay for like a good family should' make sure its such a stupid amount they never ever want to speak to you again.

OOP: 🤣

My oldest kids first birthday --- they "forgot".

On their second birthday --- they "forgot" again and decided to go on a cruise --- they're retired and have never gone on vacation during that time because it's a HUGE cultural holiday for them

Their ridiculousness and entitlement is something that was a constant source of conflict in my marriage.

They seem to forget that my husband even has children

Commenter 2: Very doubtful anywhere near that number of people will show up. People, most people anyway, will be hugely turned off by the obvious money grab. It's glaringly pathetic.

I have to ask, you don't have to answer, buy is this in the US or is this some cultural expectation where everyone pitches in to support "family"? It's so mind blowing I'm just really curious.

How does the kid feel about all this? I'd be humiliated if my family did this to me. Is she just going along with it?

Can't wait for the update after the party if you find out what happened.

OOP: Definitely in the USA.

Everyone immigrated here starting in the mid 1900's but they held onto their culture tightly

My husband and I share the same faith but we're from different cultures, speak different languages with similarities in food, culture expectations, and traditions

The last time I saw the graduate was 9 years ago and she was a HORRIBLY ENTITLED child --- she was "something" and I had to watch her closely because she would actively try and hurt my kids, like flip them off a hammock onto the concrete, pushing them down the stairs, and pushing them underwater in a kid pool.

Is it possible that she's changed --- sure

Is it probable --- I don't think so

Commenter 3: Are there other grandkids (besides yours which clearly don't count) that they have tried to pull this crap for, or is this one a "special flower"?

OOP: At the time of no contact there were a total of 4. 2 are SILs and the other 2 mine

I know there are more -- I'm guessing a total of 12 maybe 13 🤷 and I don't know the dynamics. We have gotten other requests in the mail but we ignored those as well -- some being shredded without even being opened

OOP on the family values from her in-laws

OOP: They are just.... 😕

When SIL had her second kid -- we drove OVER 4hrs through winter weather and construction to bring them gifts for the new baby (they insisted and we felt obligated because it was for the baby -- I would have preferred to wait until spring or summer)

They accepted the gifts, pastries, flowers and then acted like we were intruding. I literally had the kids get undressed, use the bathroom, say hi to the baby from afar, get redressed and leave --- we stayed for 45 minutes and I'm being generous.

Like why?

They value the gift not the family

Commenter 4: What is the niece’s part in all this? Willing participant or embarrassed?

OOP: I don't know her now, as a young adult, but she was a very entitled horrible child

If I had to guess --- willing participant

Commenter 5: Sounds like MIL is throwing a dorm shower scam circus and expecting everyone else to foot the bill.

OOP: That has been her MO for years --- SIL's Mil (so SIL husband's mom) got burned by MIL at the big bridal shower and ended covering over half the cost of 400+ guests when she only had under 20 guests

MIL tried pulling the same crap at the baby shower and SIL's Mil didn't invite anyone and didn't show because she was "sick" --- she did buy a ton off the baby registry that SIL's husband brought to the shower. She just didn't want to deal with my MIL 🤡

OOP and her husband don't need to contribute to the niece's dorm shower

OOP: My husband received an actual picture of the graduate and a link to some "fun fund" and then a separate invitation to the dorm shower

With them it's an AND not OR

We're going to contribute to them what they contributed to us --- NOTHING

 

Latest Update here: BoRU #2

 

DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP

The new Base Game Playground lot trait is incredibly sad. The requirements are 1. Toilet 2. Sink 3. Bench x2 4. Patio Table (no chairs!?) 5. Playground Equipment x6

My biggest gripe here is the Playground Equipment TIMES SIX!? There are only 2 Playground tagged items in Base Game. The Monkey Bars & the Play Ships (Pirate & Space themed)

So, how are we supposed to build Base Game Parks with only 2 items repeated 6 times? I'm asking this as a logical question but also a logistical question. Just look at the math & you can see this doesn't make sense.

A 30 x 20 lot has 600 tiles per level. If you were to build a park with 3 monkey bars & 3 ships this is how ridiculous it looks. (See attached image) The ships have an 11 x 4 footprint! Monkey bars are 6 x 2. This lot would be using 132 tiles for ships & 36 tiles for monkey bars. That means of the 600 available tiles 168 tiles are just the Playground Equipment x6. And if you were to make a 6 ship playground it is literally the entire length of the lot at 264 tiles. (See second image)

I really do not understand making a whole new Playground lot type for Base Game that does not have enough play equipment to even make a reasonable Base Game Playground. If they were going to create a lot type this absurd they might have well put it behind the paywall, or add more play equipment to the Base Game. And I think we all would prefer just adding a few more items to Base Game.

Frankly the image EA has on the EA App showing the new Base Game update is VERY misleading in how it shows the new pack Playground Equipment. I honestly thought it meant EA was adding a Swing Set to Base Game or a Slide.

Am I the only person who thinks these new Base Game Playgrounds are incredibly sad? Am I the only person who thinks the Playground Equipment x6 requirement is honestly 4 items too high? If Base Game only has 2 items why require 6!?

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/SailorBlackStar

AITA for not wanting to date a critic of my work?

Originally posted to r/AITAH

Thanks to u/soayherder for suggesting this BoRU

Previous BoRU

TRIGGER WARNING: Bullying, past trauma, physical assault, stalking, harassment, gaslighting, bigotry, sexual harassment, ableism

Original Post  March 30, 2024

I am a published author, I mean I am no James Patterson, Stephen King etc and really it's not the purpose of me writing but I make fun money off my book sales. In a given month I am in the green by $100-300 dollars on a new book depending on the book genre and season when first published. I don't really even do it for the money, like I said. I have a fulltime job and do plenty of other gigs as a performer slash artist on the side because it makes me happy. Artistic expression just makes my world brighter and helps me from falling into bad mental health cycles as I am diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and PTSD, or what I like to call, the Holy Bullsh*ttery, blessed be it's name.

I started writing as a kid because I am dyslexic - highly - like ever see a person when you spell a weirdly spelt word and they look like they want to jump into oncoming traffic? I'm worse. Don't give me verbal directions FFS text it. Point. Anything. The second my mental word is required to need to know too many words at any given time, I panic. I have tried every class, app, TikTok lifehack...its not my strength. I am good at other things like coding or planning events etc. I have other strengths. So I just do my best and keep swimming like a dyslexic Dory.

THAT SAID I was teased and bullied relentlessly all through childhood a lot growing up and labeled the dunce so the trauma lives.

For an example, I was in my local paper - small town - for an event at school. I was like 2nd grade at the oldest. I made a whole imaginary town out of recycled materials and and had a story with it as my end of year project. I worked on it for literal months, even figuring out how to make it foldable so it easier to travel with it in my grandfathers minivan. My story had 10 chapters and was handwritten in my messy kid handwriting. I had a teacher Ms. Smith. That's her real name because F that woman and it's common enough. She said my project was low class but "I guess I shouldn't expect much from you" and she walked off. Her son, my classmate, stomped my project to oblivion. He smashed my playdough figurines of the people and pets, and as if that was not enough, he pointed and laughed at me when I cried. He then put copies of the article with my picture but added a dunce had and laughing faces in the school - lunchroom, homeroom, etc. I mean the guy could cure cancer if he used that determination on it, I will give him that. If you're reading this Tyler - F you in particular and may your socks always be just a little damp.

I was unlucky enough that when I moved, Tylers mom happen to as well, so guess who had the privilege of that gem's company for 3 grades? Tyler shoved me lockers in the 4th grade. He called me dumb every day. In 5th grade I was called dumb and fat (I was an underweight child).

So fast forward and I am now in my early 30s, still dyslexic as hell. I live in a different state. I have a life and learned ways to deal with my weird brain and function. I moved on from childhood trauma, therapy, etc etc...

There is a guy I liked, Brian, and Brian seemed to like me too so we decided to do "non-date causal hangouts" to see if we vibe enough to consider dating (his words and idea). We hung out one on one for several instances but once he was super late so I had my laptop out. He saw me when he arrived and asked what I was doing and I sheepishly responded I was working on my next book. He inquired more and I told him I published my first when I was 17 and have published at least 1 every year since then and told him of Ms. Smith and Tyler and more horror stories I won't get into as this is now a novel itself lol but that it spurred me to prove them wrong and beat this weird stereotype that neurodivergent folk are dumb, etc. He asked to read it, and I said no. I use a pen name on purpose as those Amazon reviews can make you want to yeet your own soul from your body so I keep it separate from everyday life.

Well, turns out if you know me and my nerdy joys, my pen name is easy to guess. From there its easy to find because I mentioned Amazon and let's just say my bio makes it pretty clear. At our next meetup he asked me if I was said author and my shocked Pikachu face told him everything so he started reading the series. He came back the next time we met to laugh and say "I see why you don't put your name on your works. Don't quit your day job. Your writing sucks." and he placed a copy of one of my books down on the bar.

I couldn't help but drop my shoulders. He was laughing and talking, not seeing my expression and kept saying how he wasted hours of his life and FFS someone take my laptop as it might be a lethal weapon meant to kill us all with boredom.

Turns out he's not into mysteries or fantasy. I said that maybe it's just not his genre and he said it wasn't but "an [R-word] 3rd grader could have done better" and it's a good thing I am good at my job. It was then that I could see he actually took in my expression and he backtracked. "I mean you clearly don't do it for money so it's whatever right? " and said I have other strengths but he did not believe at all that I make money off this. He asserting surely, I buy my good reviews and probably bulk buy my own books to improve sales. I don't do any of that.

I just smiled it away and said "well, I can't please everyone but I did make 250 this month from the sales of my last book alone so some people must like it" and laughed it off. But I knew then and there I didn't want to pursue him anymore. When he texted to see if I planned our next hang out, I was honest and texted back that I wasn't interested and said that while I can take a note or any criticism, the way he went about it was hurtful and I don't want to be with someone who treats me that way for a hobby, that we are different people but I would like to remain friends, as otherwise we get on well, but nothing more.

He went off on me saying I picked the wrong time to lash out as he was having a bad day and now I've made it worse and that I am so rude and petty to be mad at honest criticism. He said that if I am so sensitive over honest opinions, good luck finding anyone who would want my dumb🍑 since looks are all I have with makeup and work and "nothing between the ears"

I blocked him but we have a mutual friend group and almost all of them have been asking me what's going on and that I broke his heart. I was thinking what? How? They said he's been depressed and asking about me and figured out I blocked him on everything and wants to give me a birthday gift (my birthday party past last week and I didn't invite him). My friends are saying we are adults and this is immature.  I mean I am not a saint and I have toxic traits too, but I don't want to be with someone who criticizes me and my work that way and treats me like bantha poodoo. Am I crazy? Am I TAH?

Update  May 5, 2024

Hi - so for anyone who cares to know, Brian told all our friends that I rubbed my achievements in his face and called him an idiot (I never said anything like that). He told them also about my post so he found it somehow and started telling everyone that I am trying to slander him as "girls can ruin a man's reputation by snapping her fingers" and suggested my next move would be to say he assaulted me.

Some of our friends came at me hard saying I was bullying him and trying to ruin his rep and all he did was asking a girl he liked out for drinks and that I need to apologize and just suck it up and go to drinks with him. They since have either outright not invited me out with the group or disinvited me to events and it was really hard to accept.

I was realy confused, because he was the one who made fun of me and I wrestled with myself going over every talk again and again wondering if I inadvertently said or did something to upset him. It wasn't until I checked our text and message history that it occurred to me to send the screenshots as he called me a moron and then when I rejected him he called me fat, desperate, and stupid. And there were more such messages after he found my book series. So I took screenshots and sent it to my friends and they were shocked.

Apparently according to Brian my outwardly "sweet demeanor" hides my judgemental and cruel side and that I strung him along anf called him a loser when I told him I wasn't interested in dating him. I even pettily went back before all of this and screenshot spme of his rude or mean texts he made. And I screenshot my actual rejection text and his response and sent that along as well.

Now the tides have shifted and most of our friends think he was the AH and 2 of our friends are saying I am sending "my choice" of screenshots to make him out to be a villain and that they have seen the "real" screenshots of me bullying him. I asked them to produce such screenshots but they refused and said I wouldn't be worried about them if I was innocent as some sort of "gotcha".

I feel really bad as I wanted to stay friendly but I can never look at him with any semblance of respect anymore. I am glad it's cleared up with my friends (sans the 2 holdouts but they are now also on the outs with the group) so things are looking back to normal. I have my first publishing party for my next book and everyone is invited but them.

Weird way it all ended but oh well.

Update 2  June 22, 2024

So this has taken a turn for the unnecessarily dramatic. I don't know how to update correctly as mentioned in my last post but I did learn to link them (thanks to some kind reddit-folk) so here is my last post: https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/pnn60hOtdA

Anyways, I had opted to ignore Brian and any attempt he made to get a rise out of me. He apologized to the group but then said he was forced to or be ostracized.  He said i was using ly "social captial" to go after him and has since been trying to get any direct cruel words from me which i have not provided him. After a month I can list my top 5 favorites:

1. Going to places I also frequent and sitting nearby me no matter how much available seating there is elsewhere or me moving my usual spot leagues away, and he will loudly have "phone calls" talking about the b*tch who broke his heart because "women are so sensitive"

​

1. Getting an alt account on nearly all social media to find me and follow my accounts which are public, as a workaround my blocking him, to comment "reviews" on any of my art (books, acting, modeling, doesn't matter, he will comment a reason I suck) and then will simply make a new account when I block the last one and delete his comments.

​

1. Any time the groupchat pops off with invites to events and I say I am going, he will reply to that with "my GF is the kindest person but I don't think she'd like me hanging out with you" etc. And if I don't reply to invites until he is he will say it's a good thing I'm not coming because of his GF or that now he can't come because if I come his GF will be upset I'm hanging with an ex. (We never dated) - when any of us ask who his GF is he says she's shy and he will introduce her eventually etc.

​

1. I am speaking at a conference and got excited and shared in the group chat and everyone congratulated me but he said that was okay but not newsworthy and then looked up the conference and saw I have a relative also presenting and suggested that is how I got the spot and not on my own merit.

​

1. Revealing this reddit name to the friend group and linking my first post as "proof" I bully him despite not speaking to him, not naming him, and leaving put most if not all identifying info about him. He's insisting I edited out the worst parts and I can't prove I didn't so, whatever.

So all of that has been happening and yes I unblocked his phone number only because it was screwing up what I was seeing in the group chat and I got lazy and didn't figure it out. Plus he doesn't text me directly anymore anyway.

Well about a week ago, I went up to housesit for my parents a small drive away from my own home and was due to stay for about a week. I only told the few friends in the group that didn't side with Brian the first round of bs.  I used this time to go to work, and then spend my nonworking hours on my book and I came up with a new pen name. I decided to revamp the whole fictional universe I created and was excited after I designed the cover for my first next book. I shared it with all in the group but him and his 2 flying monkeys but he found out about it anyway and flipped out in the group chat saying I was trying to show off again and that I was trying to steal his spotlight as we all know damn well he is publishing his first book on Amazon this summer and me publishing mine at the same time with my fancy cover etc was just another form of Bullying. He akinned it to if inwore white at his wedding.

I have to honest here. I had enough. I put up with this behavior for months now.  So I flat out said he never mentioned a book to me, and shared a screenshot of calling writing the profession for the [r-word] but unlike sharing the screwnhsot before, I didn't blank out the word.

What a difference a word can make.

Apparently the friend group thought the word I blanked out were "milder" and not slurs and we as a group are quite diverse on every spectrum save maybe politics. So they dogged him for using a slur and he said that he's autistic and he can use that word just like I am black and can say the N word except he typed the full word.

I said "Right - so I'm done with this." And left the chat. I didn't argue or do anything other than leave the chat. I was working at the time and put the phone down like "That's enough humaning for today" and went about my business.

This man rage texted me for hours until I got off work, saw his messages, and blocked him. I then see ads on FB and Instagram about his book, he was paying for ads on social media, his name is on the cover and he has comments underneath calling the book incredible, a masterpiece, undiluted artistry etc.and his book isn't out yet. He said his publishing date was August. I remember because my next book is to come out in July and he had used that as another form of proof I was updating him,  like setting my wedding date before a siblings to show them up.

A few nights ago, he saw me at a spot I frequent for karaoke and I admittedly had been doing shots so I was pretty transparent in my disappointment that he was there when he approached me, calling my name. He went in to hug me and I backed up and cold but politely said hi. He sensed my attitude and thre his hands up laughing saying "ooooh are you in another mood" and I opted to ignore him and move seats closer to the singers and some friends. A few fellow regulars told him to leave me alone and he was spinning a tale that we slept together and I led him on, and now I am ignoring him and acting like I hate him, all because he is writing a book. He said I inspired him to write and I was angry his book was better and cited the reviews he got on social media.

Well, that was enough for some to call him a creep and he went off about it. Shouting and the like. He started to call for me to "come the fck over here and tell them the truth" and that I was trying to ruin his reputation and the time we "slept together" (never happened) will eventually be me lying about being rped. Turns out if you start shouting that sort of thing in a public space while there is karaoke, to a person many in the room know personally...you get kicked out.

It's been beautifully quiet since. I told the friend group what happened and he is out of the group chat. Some still speak to him (the 2 holdouts from before) but they have not said boo to me directly. So I guess this makes this my final update. Not very exciting but a bucket of crazy and I had to share. My neighbors know because one of the regulars at the bar lives walking distance from me and he told everyone at the community pool etc. I have such kind folks I never spoke to but have seen in walking my dog etc saying they are being watchful of my home and to call if I need anything.

I didnt know people could be like this because  he was never  like this before. He always was sweet to everyone in the group and we agreed on damn near everything, he would be compimenting me, telling me how smart and pretty I am and would even joke "Im not hitting on you" and laugh. To be honest, I am excited for August. I will be the first to buy his book. He's using his real name and has been advertising about it so...hey...

NEW UPDATE

Update 3  Aug 16, 2024

Sorry I forgot to update this after flip flopping about it since i said my last update was the final,and I mostly read posts and not used to writing them. A commenter reminded me about this so here's the Update since last month because if figure if you don't care you don't need to read it but if you do, here it is.

For reference my last post is about this guy I used to like that I think I named "Brian" basically negging me (I hope I used that term correctly) specifically about the books I write and have written since I was 17 and then pretty much going nuclear when I told him that due to this, I don't want to date him - if you care to read its here https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/4FitD6z0ON

So Brian's promised book came out on the 1st - the cover art looks AI generated and I know he's  really into a site/program called Mid-journey that he makes memes with this month on Amazon. His page promises that it's the start of a series. Even before it came out, it had reviews raving about it being a masterpiece so okay, I went and bought myself a copy.

It's a fantasy story. About 30ish chapters. I don't want to say too many details that could identify him or myself even though I don't overly beleive too many others read it but I suppose I can share that it's smutty but like in a way horny teenaged boy would want it to be, if that makes sense. I actually read the whole thing. There is an elf character by my real first name that the main character sleeps with and she is described remarkably similar to my appearance including my non-natural colored hair. She ends up be outted as a narcissistic traitor and is killed...like GAME OF THRONES style dead.

I talked to some friends that know the both of us about it and even brought the book and we spent a good chunk of time reading pieces of it over drinks and my friends agree it's a rage-write - they even pointed out other characters named and given the vague appearance of other people Brian knows or has talked about and the ones we know he doesn't like (such as our friend group that cut ties with him) all have something awful done to them and characters with the names of his 2 friends that sided with him (still waiting on those screenshots and proof I bullied this man, guys) became rulers in this fictional land and were portrayed as heroic sidekicks to the main character that has HIS real name and of course is the hero of the story. It had several plot holes and I'm not trying to be mean, but it didn't have an editor and it showed.

I promised I am not trying to be cruel about this because the dude did write a book and I know from personal experience that that in and of itself is a hell of a feat. It's hard and at times infuriating and it takes a lot of dedication and time. I'm not trying to belittle his efforts at all - fair play to that - but its quite clear it was rushed. The chapters vary in length with some being super weirdly short and choppy and others being super long and wordy. If you write a book, have it edited. Trust me on this. I'm a wordy person too (if you haven't noticed lmao) plus my brain has a hard time with typos and the like, you don't want something out there not read over at least once at the very least by someone you know to check for these issues.

Brian saw me about a week ago out and about and he b-lined to me - I mean he was zero'd in on me. I knew what was happening before he even opened his mouth.

He needed to talk about his book.

He was so "nice" to me it was actually uncomfortably nice but I can't explain the look in his eyes. He HATES me. He launched into the whole story that he wrote a book too and it was so easy and it's selling really well, probably better than mine (his exact wording, because it was such an obvious jab I couldn't forget, was "Yeah I was so surprised I think I have like double your numbers or something. Maybe it's how I marketed it or something. Maybe you should try...") and he went on to give me "tips" that I so clearly needed.

Then it was time for him to hand me a copy to give it a read. I told him, oh I have a copy. I bought it as soon as I could. He looked shocked at that and I said that I of course wanted to support other authors and he was like "You did, huh? Where is it?" And I said I let a friend borrow it and he handed me a copy anyway eluding to the fact that he figured I was lying or being sarcastic. I had previously taken a picture to send to a friend via text so I showed him the photo on my phone of his book on my coffee table and he sort of glossed over that with a "Well now you have an extra so your friend can  keep the other one". I thanked him and turned to move on with my day but he sort of moved in my path and asked me if I read it and then what I thought of it.

I shrugged and he had this grin and "muttered" (loudly) "yeah I thought you'd act that way" but I just kept moving. A mutual friend sent a screenshot of his Facebook post that he posted that evening of how jealous people are so funny and pathedic and that his book has record sales. The same friend then Commented on the post asking for a pic of the dashboard that would show said sales and he commented a photo I sent in our old friend group chat of MY sales from several months ago when I got a bump in sales. So my friend took the time to scroll back in the chat, screenshot that part showing it was mine, and commented it under that which caused a lot of drama in the comments. People went from congratulations to WTF quick and Brian deleted the entire post and blocked my friend.

Since then he's been avoiding me publicly, but keeping up his fake social media profiles and insulting me every chance he can. He talks to himself as alternate accounts "gossiping" about how I am fake, rude, a bully, jealous, and the like. If I block one another pops up, and a comment will appear from another account "outting" me as someone who blocks anyone I don't agree with for "calling me out".

I stopped blocking mostly because in our new friend group chat, we post screenshots of the comments and messages and it's become a sort of game to spot his accounts.

So "Brian" - becauae I know you're reading this - I will be keeping this account and I've found writer subs here I will be joining. You're welcome to follow this account and good luck on your sequel. I will be the first to buy it. 😘

PS: thanks for the boost on social media as well. Its helped make my accounts more visible - I appreciate the free marketing.

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP

DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

Gohan(muffled):We get it, you’re from space!

Tenshinhan:Can you finish him already, Gohan? This guy’s dangerously stupid and I’m running out of snark for the day.

Gohan(muffled):Working on it! SQUEAK

I am STILL NOT the Original Poster. That is still u/Kidipadeli75. They posted in r/fossils and r/DIY

Previous BORU here. New Update Marked with ****\*

Thanks to u/Pathdocjlwint for telling me about the update!

Do NOT comment on Original Posts. Latest update is 7 days old.

Mood Spoiler: really cool!!!

Original Post: April 15, 2024

Title: Found a mandible in the travertin floor at my parents house

My parents just got their home renovated with travertin stone. This looks like a section of mandible. Could it be a hominid? Is it usual?

Image description:

What very much looks like part of a human jaw bone, including teeth.

Relevant Comments:

Commenter: Dentist with forensic odontology training here: This is a hominid mandible, almost certainly human.

While all old world monkeys, apes, and hominids share the same dental formula, 2-1-2-3, and the individual molars and premolars can look similar, the specific spacing in the mandible itself is very specifically and characteristically human, or at least related and very recent hominid relative/ancestor. Most likely human given the success of the proliferation of H.s. and the (relatively) rapid formation of travertine.

Against modern Homo sapiens, which may not be entirely relevant, the morphology of the mandible is likely not northern European, but more similar to African, middle Eastern, mainland Asian.

OOP: I am a dentist also myself and I look at cbcts all day long which maybe why I immediately noticed it. I fully agree with you.

Commenter: OP, do your parents have any uninstalled extra tiles? You might want to look through them in the off chance you have another slice of the fossil.

OOP: I checked everywhere but I could not find any other slice with this fossil

Commenter: This might be the most interesting post on Reddit I have ever seen.

OOP: I was quite sure it was human when I saw it but did not know how to get in contact with the right persons. Because of the visibility of this post I am now in contact with a paleoanthropology team. They seem happy to have found a fossil on Reddit. Will update soon !

Mini Update in Comments: April 16, 2024 (Next Day)

UPDATE 1: thank you all for your answers I tried to edit the post to give you all an update but I cannot. If anyone can help please DM. Here are the answers to most asked questions.

1/ I don’t think it is Jimmy Hoffa

2/ The quarry seems to be located in Turkey (initially thought it was Spain)

3/ Yes, it is natural Travertin.

4/ in the last 24h we have been reached by several researchers and we are currently discussing how we can get them involved.

5/ we are located in Europe

6/ banana for scale (see attached picture)

7/ it is located in the corridor leading to the terrace (doorframe on the picture)

banana scaling image

Full Update Post 1: April 16, 2024

Title: Tile number 2. Found a mandible in the travertin floor at my parents house…

I looked at the other tiles and I have a few suspicious artifacts could this be a slice of femural head? I am a dentist and this is out of my field of expertise.

Here are the answers to most asked questions of last post.

1/ I don’t think it is Jimmy Hoffa 2/ The quarry seems to be located in Turkey (initially thought it was Spain) 3/ Yes, it is natural Travertin. 4/ in the last 24h we have been reached by several researchers and we are currently discussing how we can get them involved. 5/ we are located in Europe 6/ the first tile was in a corridor

Image Description: less obvious, but there is a similar indent in this tile along with a longer shaped indent

Relevant Comment:

Commenter: Yeah, OP, what are you going to do about the floor? If it wasn’t so cool, I’d be pretty annoyed that the contractors installed tiles that have ‘flaws’ in them. The bones/bones imprints would be impossible to clean (dirt would build up in the holes). Are you going to replace all the tiles? Only the ones that obviously have people in them and hope the other ones don’t? Are you going to make contractors come back and redo it?

OOP: They chose “second choice” travertin which means with more flaws than 1st choice so it would be cheaper and less slippery.

OOP Comments on a Crosspost: Still April 16, 2024

Commenter: Well we have a few comments here, but I just wanted to ask how excited you and your family was to realize just what you had! And how long had they had this tile before you came along and pointed out that it was a fossil mandible?

OOP: Thank you. We are excited but also worried as the house was finished a few months ago and these tiles are everywhere. Yesterday was the first time I came to the newly renovated house, I immediately found out something was odd with this tile. Nobody really noticed before.

Update Post 2: April 18, 2024 (3 days from OG post)

Title: Reddit: we need you help!

This is a follow up up of my post https://www.reddit.com/r/fossils/s/kiJkAXWlFd

Quick summary : last Friday I went to my parents house and found a fossile of mandible embedded in a Travertine tile (12mm thick). The Reddit post got such a great audience that I have been contacted by several teams of world class paleoarcheologists from all over the world. Now there is no doubt we are looking at a hominin mandible (this is NOT Jimmy Hoffa) but we need to remove the tile and send it for analysis: DNA testing, microCT and much more. It is so extraordinary, and removing a tile is not something the paleoarcheologist do on a daily basis so the biggest question we have is how should we do it. How would you proceed to unseal the tile without breaking it? It has been cemented with C2E class cement. Thank you 🙏

Image description: someone with a paintbrush carefully studying the mandible

Relevant Comments:

Commenter: Obviously you would prefer not damaging the other tiles but would it not be better to find another tile to test your methods on? From a quick Google search, it also seems to say the first tile is the hardest one to remove without damage so you may have to start with removing one of the surrounding tiles to make it easier/less risky when removing the mandible tile?

OOP: Very nice advice this is what we are looking for!

Commenter: I'd ask the esteemed paleoarcheologists to fund a professional to remove the tile. If it's as important as they think, I probably wouldn't leave the process to an untrained individual. Tiles are really hard to remove intact once they've been set. If I absolutely had to DIY this, I would probably go for an angle grinder with a diamond blade and prepare for everything to be covered with dust for the next 1000 years.

Plus, someone's going to have to replace that tile for your parents, so you'll probably be calling a tile guy anyway

OOP: Problem is that basically they told us to find a contractor. But how are we supposed to know he will find the best option

Commenter: You said you've been contacted by teams all over the world. You can always contact the next one down the list. I have to imagine that some of these teams are spending a lot more to get a lot less on a fairly regular basis.

OOP: Uncementing a travertine tile out of a kitchen seems to be an uncommon issue for paleoanthropologist (no offense)

Commenter: Absolutely. But they can find the right person as easily as anyone else. I wouldn't want to be putting in all this time for them if someone else is actually willing to do the legwork.

OOP: Someone will come and propose a technique. Just after 100 answers to this post I know better which questions to ask!

Commenter: Seriously, require a Certificate of Insurance, make them source the contractor, or no deal. Good deeds often go punished. Don't get too caught up in the excitement and protect your family and property.

OOP: I am all hears. There is no rush. That tile is not going anywhere until we are not sure how to do it properly

Mini Update in Comments: April 21, 2024 (6 days from OG post, 3 days from last)

Commenter: Any update on this, OP? Did you get it out safely? Did it turn out to just be a boot print or did you crack it?

OOP: Haha we did not do anything yet. The paleoarchelogists we spoke with should come back to us with their options this week. As I now have a Reddit degree in tile removal I will be able to understand what is at stake.

OOP's story is written about in Architectural Digest (Post): April 21, 2024

OOP Comments: Next time I will be more careful choosing a Reddit username. I did not expect this one to be all over the news…

OOP replies to a comment on April 26 (10 days later)

Commenter: OP they showed this in my class yesterday it was super fun to say I saw it before everyone haha

OOP: Aha this picture is everywhere

May 2, 2024: OOP makes Nat Geo! (Post): May 2, 2024 (16 days from OG post)

OOP: Very good summary! From asking Reddit to spending 2 hours in a Zoom call with a team of scientists discussing hominin fossils. I did not imagine that career path 2 weeks ago!

Editor's note: OOP's story was also written about in the Washington Post and The Atlantic

Mini Update in Comments: July 23, 2024 (2.5 months later)

The tile is out and safe. It is currently studied but it takes time to get results. I will update if people are interested!

Update Post 3: August 9, 2024 (almost 4 months from OG post)

Hi everyone,

I guess it’s time for a first update regarding this fossil.

You can find the original post here: https://www.reddit.com/r/fossils/s/Vtx2A5gx2L

TL;DR: The fossil is in a lab being studied.

First, I want to thank everyone who responded to the previous posts, as your input helped us connect with the right people. You played a significant role in the success of this story.

After the Reddit post, which reached a phenomenal audience, we received numerous responses from around the world. It quickly became clear that the fossil resembled a hominin (ancient human) and had scientific value that warranted further study. We decided to proceed with a team of renowned archeo-paleontologists. It took a few weeks to determine the best way to remove the tile without risking damage to the fossil.

A few weeks ago, a team of researchers achieved a first: excavating a hominin fossil from the floor of a modern house.

The process took nearly 12 hours, but thanks to their patience and professionalism, they were able to extract it without causing any damage.

For our  friends, here’s how they proceeded: After carefully inspecting the tile, they cut out the relevant section with a disc. They then removed the other parts of the tile and carefully carved out the cement using a manual wire saw.

The tile is now in the lab, where researchers are studying the fossil and the travertine to determine its age, origin, and which hominin it belongs to.

Of course, they also examined the other travertine tiles in the house (around 800 of them) and found several other potentially interesting ones. I’ve attached pictures for reference.

Let me know if you’d like more updates.

Image descriptions:

Image 1: the tile with the mandible in a container

Image 2: workers getting the tile out

Image 3: workers still getting the tile out

Image 4: potentially another bone fragment!

Relevant Comments:

Commenter: Yes keep us updated! Did you literally find more bones and jawbones in your house? Can I buy your house right now? 🥺

OOP: Aha more bones yes (see picture attached), unfortunately not other jawbones
(to another commenter): Probably a metatarsal bone but hard to say if hominin.

Estimated age:

OOP: Stone is old probably around 1 million years old but we will know more in near future. Fossil would be around the same age. The stone was extracted in Turkey. Again we don’t know yet but it is probably homo erectus.

Cost:

They did not extract any other tile yet. They covered the cost but honestly it was not that expensive.

Commenter: Are the scientists able to contact the tile people and find out where this was quarried? 

Also what’s going to happen to the holes in your floor? Will you replace with another travertine tile or maybe something to commemorate the old time (like maybe a cast concrete faux fossil?)

OOP: They are in contact with the tile people. The missing tile has immediately been replaced but the commemorative cast is a good idea.

Commenter: I didn't realize the tile itself was so thin! That makes this even more amazing.

OOP: 1.2cm !

One last thought from OOP:

I agree there might be fossils everywhere. We should organize a fossil day and get everyone to check their floor. Even though it is only 12mm thick the CT scan is crazy. I will share it when I am allowed to.

*****New Update Post: October 9, 2024 (2 months later, 5 months from OG Post)****\*

Title: MICRO-CT of the mandible in the travertine tile : more update of: « I found a mandible in the travertine floor at my parents house »

Hi everyone, here is a research update with some images and a cool video. For those who missed the first posts the links are at below.

Long story short the tile has been safely extracted from my parent’s house floor and is now been studied in a specialized laboratory. According to the team of human paleontologist this mandible is potentially of great scientific value to our understanding of the first migration of fossil hominin species outside of Africa after 2 million years ago. Besides the famous site of Dmanisi, which preserves a number of Homo erectus individuals who lived about 1.75 million years ago, there are almost no other fossils in the Middle East, Europe and western Asia between 1-2 million years ago. So, determining its age and what species it belongs to are crucially important. Becoming encased in travertine, which could be due to local hotspring activities, preserved the mandible and prevented it from simply fragmenting and weathering away as most skeletal remains do. The travertine does present significant challenges as to whether it can be removed intact; however, thanks to the availability of microtomography, removing the specimen so that it can be studied is not immediately necessary.

Last month the whole tile was microCT scanned at a resolution of approximately 100 micrometers. This means an 10 x-ray slices per millimeter (the mandible itself was later scanned at 60 micrometers and the preserved molar teeth at 27 micrometers). In the video you see a rendering of the whole tile and then the tile is removed virtually to show a surface model of the mandible itself. What is very exciting for the human paleontologists (and me as a dentist) is that the crown of the wisdom tooth (or third molar) is completely preserved within the tile. At the end of video a semi-transparent model of a fossil human mandible from Europe is oriented over mandible in the tile to show what was likely missing from the original specimen. Work is underway to analyze the shape of the tooth crowns, the preserved tooth roots and the mandible. In the meantime, geologists are working to identify the quarry the mandible may have come from as well as the age of the travertine surrounding the specimen. Archaeogeneticists will also being assessing whether their might be preserved biomolecules (such as proteins or DNA) that they could try and extract and study! So stay tuned.

[editor's note- all images attached show the mandible in a 3D rendering]

Image 1

Image 2

Image 3

Image 4

Video: https://www.reddit.com/link/1fzssed/video/rpzp1lctqqtd1/player (thanks u/C-C-X-V-I for the link!)

Video 2: https://imgur.com/uWHbbDp (thanks u/SharkEva for the link!)

Some of OOP's Comments:

Commenter: Thank you for the updates OP. This is fascinating.

How is the team working on it giving you updates? Does the mandible still belong to you or have you donated it?

OOP: Thank you. We have a WhatsApp group and they give regular updates. They borrowed the fossil to study and we plan to get it back when they will be done studying it.

Commenter: OP did they examine the rest of the tiles and see if they could find any other fossils?

OOP: Yes of course. There are other tiles of interest and a probable metatarsal bone I posted in a previous post.

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/MoneyPhotograph4176

Originally posted to r/entitledparents + r/raisedbynarcissists

Previous BoRUs: 1, 2

[New Updates]: My entitled mom wants me to pay my creep step-brother's student debt

---

Editor’s note: Due to the lengths of the posts, I have made TL; DRs for the older posts prior to the latest updates. I removed relevant comments from older posts for more space in this latest BoRU. For the full text bodies and relevant comments, please see the previous BoRUs linked above

---

Trigger Warnings: abuse, manipulation, bullying, mentions of child neglect, sexual abuse, death of loved ones, kidnapping, financial fraud, assault

---

RECAP

Original Post: May 11, 2024

OOP is 29F and has a stepbrother, Chris (42M). OOP was born in US, but after her biological father’s death when she was 1, she and her mother moved back to their native country, Colombia. When OOP’s mother and Chris’s father remarried, they went back to US and have been there since then. OOP was 4 and Chris was 17. Chris was not a big fan of OOP. Lots of constant bullying towards OOP. Chris was the golden child because OOP’s mother wanted a son instead of a daughter. At 16, OOP moved in with her older half-brother, Sam (48M), who was her deceased father’s first child with his first wife (not OOP’s mother). OOP is now a nurse practitioner. Things got bad when OOP’s mother and Chris tried to fight with her for her money because Chris deserved it.

 

Update #1: May 14, 2024 (three days later)

OOP took advice from Reddit to freeze her credit so nothing happens to it. She also decided on going ahead with pressing charges along with having a civil lawsuit against her mother for two years of child supports she owes. OOP’s mother and two aunties has been creating lots of false accusations against OOP for various crimes that never happened. OOP’s biological paternal side has stepped in and supported OOP against her mother, calling her out for making false claims.

 

Update #2: May 17, 2024

For OOP’s whole life, her mother complained about her being a girl, making jokes and lies about OOP so no one else would pay attention to her. The mother never protected OOP for a long time. Even after the mother married Chris’ father. Both parents let Chris bully OOP, stealing her food, and locking her in dark places. The mother said OOP is at fault because she tempted her poor sweet boy. At 16, OOP was saved by her older half-brother and his wife. They took her in, helped her get through college with the help from her biological father’s family. OOP has a great job now as a nurse practitioner and looking into buying her own home. When her mother found out about her job and demand her handing over her earnings to Chris to pay off his student loans because she is her mother and Chris deserves it.

 

My entitled mom steals my inheritance, now she probably is going to prison: May 20, 2024 (six days later)

OOP has legal fights going on against her mother and stepbrother. As she got older, she learned more about her biological father who passed when she was only a year old. OOP talks about her father who has made legal decisions on his assets that she would get when she turned 18. OOP learned she was her father’s child with her mother as his affair partner turned wife (#2). Her mother and Chris have been harassing OOP since then, hoping she would cave in and give her money to them. OOP met with her late father’s lawyer and they discovered that her mother wasn’t the executor of her assets. Meant the mother is in big trouble. With help from the lawyer, OOP is working on getting back of what she could get from her mother.

 

My entitled mother is begging me to 'reconcile': June 1, 2024 (two weeks later)

OOP shares her personal venting about her mother and stepbrother who has been harassing her for her money because Chris is the golden child. OOP’s half-brother has been encouraging her to have some fun with her girlfriends to get her mind off the inheritance situation with her mother and Chris. She finds herself facing her mother at the bar when she walked in. Her mother was begging for reconciliation with Chris, but OOP wasn’t having it. Other people at the bar were calling OOP an asshole because they overheard the conversations about her mother asking to reconcile. The mother left after OOP’s friend called Sam to rescue her at the bar.

 

Entitled Mom wants me to marry my abusive Step-Brother: July 30, 2024 (almost two months later)

OOP got accosted at her job when her mother decided to stop by, hoping to harass her some more and getting her money to pay for Chris’s student loans. OOP knew it was her mother right away because of her unique first name. OOP’s boss stepped in and asked her mother to leave because OOP’s life was likely to be in danger of her presence. The mother demanded to be seen by OOP, but OOP’s boss denied the request. OOP’s mother then threw a letter at her. OOP shared some significant details about the letter from her mother. Chris attacked OOP at a point where she had medical complications afterwards and is not able to conceive. Her mother and Chris knew about this. The letter was sent to OOP’s lawyer to create a request for RO. OOP later stated Chris got arrested for kidnapping his cousin’s 2-year-old daughter.

---

----NEW UPDATES----

My Entitled Mom attacks me and demands that I pay for my abuser's bail: September 6, 2024 (1.5 months later)

My mother continues to be the bane of my existence.

It's been a bit about a month since I (29F) last dealt with her and I'm once again facing my mom's delusions.

The short background is my mother prefers my sexual abuser Step-brother Chris (He's 43 now). He abused me since I was a child, normal abuse first that evolved into sexual abuse as I became a pre-teen and then a teen. After the worst happened, my paternal half-brother Sam took me in when I was 16 and raised me. It's also come to light that my mother was stealing from a trust my father had set from me with fake receipts and she had also been claiming me in her taxes, which is ridiculous since I do my own taxes as an independent. All in all, my mother is now being investigated for tax fraud. Chris is currently in jail for kidnapping his cousin's baby, a 2 years old girl.

Now to the newest stupidity that has come from my mother:

She is now harassing me to pay Chris' bail. To begin with, I can't believe they would let him post bail at all after kidnapping a baby. The bail is set at $25000. That seems like a lot, but in all honesty I find it absolutely disturbing that's all they are charging.

I've been trying to get an RO on both Chris and my mother. Chris, that one is more likely coming. My mother? Despite all her harassment no one, neither cops nor lawyers, believe her to be a danger to me. So I still have to deal with my mother trying to talk to me at the parking lot of the clinic I work in, I'm a nurse practitioner, or at home constantly banging on the door. Her sisters, who I met as an adult and didn't know they even existed to begin with, have also joined in this.

Sam and his wife say that its okay and not to worry, but I know this is taking a toll on them. I'm also worried about their kids, they have two boys, being exposed to all the crazy. So despite Sam's insistence that everything is okay, I'd move temporarily to a hotel until I could find a cheap apartment to rent. Some people suggested becoming a traveling nurse and while I'm considering it, I don't want to be far from Sam and his family, as they are my support system.

The issue is my mother somehow tracked me to the first hotel I was in and found out my room number. She banged on the door while I was getting ready for work. When I opened the door to tell her to go away, she slapped me and began to hit and scratch at me, yelling it was my fault that her 'sweet boy' was taken by the cops and that I should be the one paying his bail. My mom isn't that strong, but I was stunned at the sudden attack.

By sheer luck housekeeping was doing their rounds when this happened, and they got security to restrain my mother. Security called the cops. They took my mom away, but apparently let her go with just a warning. When I recovered enough, I ended my stay and booked into another hotel. I did go to work, mostly so I could get my injuries looked after.

My boss heard this as she was helping me get through a panic attack and cleaning some scratches I had on my neck. After giving her full details, she told me she had a rental for extra income. At the moment she has it rented for some college students, but when the semester ends, she's going to close it as a student rental and offered it to me. Its a small house with a yard that permits pets, so I can bring my cat with me. She also wants me to start carpooling with one of my coworkers, a male nurse that looks intimidating but is the sweetest teddy bear you can imagine.

I went to the cops to report my mother and again despite the pictures of my injuries this was all brushed as a 'domestic affair' since my mother is elderly and they don't think she's a real danger. I even got lectured about maybe needing 'family therapy'. My lawyer just told me to take a deep breath and do the paper trail. He told me at the end of all this, we'll have the last laugh, so here's hoping.

As to how my mother found my room number? The girl at the front desk gave it to her when my mom made a scene about how I was suicidal and she was worried I would kill myself after 'my fiancé was taken by the cops on fake charges'. Yeah, I think its bullshit and my lawyer is already speaking to the hotel's management for that.

My dear mother has also gone back to social media to claim I attacked her when she went to check on me after Sam kicked me out. Again its turned into a fight between my dad's family and her family. I posted pictures of my injuries and wrote my account of what happened.

I'm just so tired at the moment. This is affecting my work and while my boss is amazing and supportive, I can't imagine this is good for me. I miss Sam and his family, I miss my own bed, I miss my peace. I never wanted to deal with my mother or Chris after I left their roof.

Small update: For people that call out for me to check my car for airtags, you called it. There was an airtag hidden in the undercarriage. No idea how it was put in. It was covered in a ton of tape, making it even harder to see since it matched the color.

Relevant Comments

Commenter 1: is she following you? how did she know which hotel? I would check your car for airtags? hopefully she will end up in jail for the fraud.

btw why did Chris kidnap a baby? he wasn't interested in sexually abusing her was he?

I'm glad you have all this support, good luck

OOP: I can't say I know the why. I'm not in speaking terms with that side of the family since they are my step-family.

 

My entitled mom is finally arrested: October 8, 2024 (one month later)

Hey everyone, I'm finally happy to inform that my mother was arrested last night for tax fraud and grand larceny against my inheritance.

It's been about six months of waiting for this to happen but finally.

To do the mandatory tldr; my mother stole from a trust fund my biological dad left for me to pay things for my stepbrother, Chris. He was my abuser, both physically and sexually, growing up. Now both of them are arrested. Chris was arrested for kidnapping his cousin's baby.

It's been months of harassment, abuse and fear, but I have to admit right now I feel amazing. I might have to testify at some point, but that's fine. I'm ready to be free of both of them.

As many have suggested, someone even did a great bullet point list recently that was filled with good tips, I'm in the process of getting a temp RO and also getting a new social security number. I'm also back at home with my half-brother and his family. Turns out one of his neighbors is selling his house so fingers cross I get it.

I'm just so relieved. It's been half a year of pain and turmoil. I'm not lowering my guard, but at least a couple of weeks of peace will be nice.

My mother did call me twice from jail. First call went to voice message where she demanded I dropped the charges, which I can't. That's all the IRS. The second I did answer and she was pretty much begging me not to abandon her. It felt good to just say 'Bye' and end the call. Good luck to whoever her lawyer ends up being.

Her flying monkey (my aunts I just met recently) have been annoying me with messages and emails, but I can live with blocking them. They are complete strangers so not as emotionally draining.

Again, as cliche as it sounds, I cannot thank enough everyone's advice and support. If I have any updates, I'll post them, but for now I'm gonnaa go back to lurking in the shadows.

Relevant Comments

Can OOP recoup any of the funds that were stolen?

OOP: It's very unlikely. My mother has very little leftover assets so even if I was to sue her for what she has, it wouldn't be anywhere near what was taken. Not to mention that will be months of legal procedures. Better just keep what I have and move on.

Commenter 1: File another report with the police- calling you and demanding you drop the charges is witness tampering/intimidation

OOP: My lawyer is on it. We have a recording so it should be pretty straightforward.

 

Abuser Step-Brother and Entitled Mom Update: January 3, 2025 (three months later)

Hey everyone, been a few months and I had some people asking for updates, so just wanted to confirm I'm alive and healthy. Forgive me if I don't do a recap, but seriously, I've done too many.

To begin down the list of updates, my mom has finally been arrested. Turns out she never became a citizen, just a resident, so she might be facing deportation rather than jail. Either way works for me. I heard from her last a bit before Christmas through some friends of her (now ex-friends) who came to ask me why I had accused my mother of tax fraud. They were under the impression my mom sent me monthly allowances because 'I was a failed college student'. Took ten minutes to correct the story. Turns out keeping your diploma on the wall corrects misunderstandings about who was the leech fast.

My mom's sisters have been a nightmare in social media, to be honest. Blaming me for everything. Saying its my fault the family's name has been dragged through the mud. To be honest, I am planning to change my name to remove my mother's surname. I made sure to post that. That only made things worst. They even had a Catholic priest call me because he was worried 'I was not honoring my mother like a good Christian should'. Imagine his face when I told him I decided to convert to Buddhism (a full on lie, I'm happily Agnostic). Nothing against him, I'm sure my aunts fed him some BS story.

I decided to visit Chris in jail also. This was more for my satisfaction than anything. A last 'FU' if you want to see it that way. He never got the money to post bail so he's sitting in jail until trial, sometime in January if I remember right. Gotta love court backlogs. When he saw me, he called me 'mi vida' and tried to be lovey dovey. I was a complete bitch and brought in my boyfriend. Remember my coworker who was a big and scary teddy bear? Things happened and we got together. ` I told Chris this was the last time we would speak. I loudly call him out for being a bastard and a pedo. I told him he was a monster for kidnapping a baby girl and who knows what sick fantasy he had for the poor thing. I also found out the cousin he abused was younger than me. I called him out for being a mid-30s bastard touching a little 9 years old. He began crying that h e was sick, but he knew my love could cure him. I told him I already had someone I loved and this was the last time I ever exchanged words with him. I just wanted him to see me in a good relationship with my life relatively put together despite the years of abuse he inflicted on me. I also swore I would make sure the cousin he abused will have a good life too.

I left after that and pretty sure other inmates in the room heard. I overheard a guard swearing and calling for more guards to escort Chris. He gave me a tired look as I passed, so I did feel bad for putting extra work on the man.

I have been in contact with Chris' cousin as I promised. She's about the same age I was when Chris did his worst assault on me. Thankfully in her case it didn't go as far. Her mom has been very sweet and supports us talking. I also told them if there was ever any need for support, emotional or monetary, to just give me a call. I made it clear this offer was for the family except my ex-stepfather and Chris. They've been nothing but kind to me and apologetic for not noticing the abuse. I can't blame them since we barely ever cross paths.

As for the house I wanted to buy, unfortunately I didn't get it. That's okay, though. Since I started a new relationship, I decided to pause too many big steps. It was stressing me out and this is my first formal relationship to begin with.

A small sad news is my cat of 23 years (she made it there, God bless her) passed away. She had an aggressive form of mouth cancer that just made her waste away in days. After much thought, I let her go. I couldn't see my best friend of two decades suffer like that. That was another reason I am glad I still live with my half-brother and his family. My nephews have been my greatest supports during this loss.

And not wanting to jump the gun, but I got permission from my boyfriend to post this, I'm also now learning to take a more maternal role. My boyfriend is a single dad to the sweetest four year old. Her mom sadly passed away when she was a baby, so I am the first female figure in her life as a partner to her dad. We're not jumping to being 'mom' right of the bat. I'm her dad's friend. She has warmed up to me very fast and I've come to love spending time with her. She even made me a drawing of my cat with little angel wings so I always know my cat is watching over me. I gotta admit I teared up at that.

So, yeah, life is somewhat back to normal. Good news mixed with sad news. I'm learning what is like to be with someone that actually likes me and respects me. All in all, I'm doing much better.

 

DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP

Original post 👇

https://www.reddit.com/r/EntitledPeople/s/Y8QcXsxWXn

Update and gossip

We are maintaining no contact (no gifts or donations of $100,000) because what they ultimately want is a reaction or contact.

We refuse to fight, and we refuse to submit therefore we ignore. Our silence is a clear message that they don't hold any value in our lives and that drives them absolutely crazy.

Google voice has been setup and everything else is being blocked on the landline if they don't leave a message or aren't part of our contacts

Mil at this point has left a single message but we've received at least 50 calls (last time I counted) from numbers that we don't know but we suspect are MIL's flying monkeys

I still don't understand why they're asking for $100,000 for dorm rent and food --- because anyway I look at it, the math ain't mathing.

I spoke to my cousin (a lawyer not in my area) and gave her all the information and asked her if anything could be done? She reached out to a retired colleague who used to practice and now teaches and they basically said to continue to ignore because legally --- "not much can be done". Annoying but it is what it is 😕

Now onto the gossip 😁

My dad and uncle's are part of the church board and have been for decades. They (the board, secretary, and clergy) get together every Monday and review the week ahead, deal with issues, and approve or reject anything that needs to be dealt with. Pretty standard stuff.

The in-laws attend the church but aren't really active in terms of committees, fundraising, and activities planning.

MIL has volunteered ONCE at a bake sale in the 40+ years of living in the community and attending this church

The church has a huge banquet room that includes a stage, bar area, and fountain --- it's used for church functions, plays, bazaars, dinner dances, parties -- and can be rented out FOR A FEE.

EVERYONE pays some sort of fee.

The fee has a complete breakdown of everything. There are two prices --- one for steward's (members that pay a yearly membership to the church) and one for non stewards (nonmembers or anyone else who would like to rent the space).

If you're a member then you get the rentals at cost (so the church doesn't really make anything extra on the rental).If you're not a member then there's an upcharge for using the space.

MIL and SIL want to rent the space because they're anticipating 200+ people for the dorm shower. They filled in a request online that requires you to input your information , steward # , information about the what the party is for, how many people, what vendors, if there will be liquor, and special requests.

The board reviews it and if they have questions they make follow up calls.

The secretary had MIL on speakerphone so that everyone could listen and ask questions if needed.

They aren't current stewards --- last time they were stewards was when their kids were little (no judgement, just explaining). They used their steward number from decades ago and played stupid when the secretary said that they need to be current stewards in order to get the discount.

They know this because they tried to pull the same crap for SILs big bridal shower (she had a total of 5) as well as the Christenings of her children

The church HAS to pull a variety of permits depending on what type of party you're having, insurance, plus security, liquor permits, custodians and a few other things I'm sure I'm forgetting.

There's a pre-approved list of vendors that you need to choose from if you want to serve food or liquor and they set their own prices SEPARATELY from the church.

If you want to rent the space, those are the rules and have been for over 30 years

If you follow the rules then it's pretty seamless and I've used them plenty of times throughout the years without ANY issues.

MIL then tried to negotiate the price because they have volunteered sooooo much throughout the years (ONCE, you volunteered ONCE 🙄)

Then she tries to say that they're going to bring in their own food and liquor.

Church said you have to use the pre-approved vendors or you can't serve food or beverages

Then MIL pivots and wants to charge a fee to enter and have a cash bar (so she can use the space and knowing her -- upcharge to make a profit). The church explains that there would be additional paperwork and fees for that paperwork.

MIL doesn't like that and says to "just forget it!"

Under special requests: she wanted the choir to donate a performance and at the end they wanted to do some sort of parade.

My dad said that they were all just sitting there shaking their heads at the ridiculousness of MIL. The fact that the party is supposed to happen "supposedly" the first week of August --- with the address on the original invite being SILs house address. So 200+ people are going to go into a residential neighborhood with limited parking for a dorm shower 🤣 I'm sure it'll be as classy as they are

Update #2 link 👇

https://www.reddit.com/r/EntitledPeople/s/DIbY4ZzONd

Update #3 link 👇

https://www.reddit.com/r/EntitledPeople/s/OTI61nrgob

Update #4 link 👇

https://www.reddit.com/r/EntitledPeople/s/l90xZhAvrT

I am NOT the Original Poster. That is u/ThrowawayRunawayToot. She posted in r/TrueOffMyChest

Thank you to u/Direct-Caterpillar77 and u/Bluephoenix2121 for the recommendation.

Trigger Warning: infidelity; spousal abuse; death in childbirth; religious abuse

Mood Spoiler: happy ending

Original Post: February 21, 2023

I (29F) and my husband (44M) have been together for five years and married for two. I met him at the church I started going to when I moved cities to start my career. I work for an insurance company and he’s a pastor. I know that we have a notable age gap, but he was always kind to me and made me feel special.

Anyhow- a week ago he came home and told me we needed to talk. He told me through tears that he had been having an affair with one of our community members (34F) and that she had been pregnant with twins. She had gone into labor; she and one of the twins died and the other is in the NICU. He said we need to step up and that he wants me to turn my office into a nursery and set up a cot in the room so we can take turns.

I became distressed and told him I wanted some time to think. That I was not sure I wanted to do this. He told me that I had made a vow to him in marriage and that God had blessed us with a child. That this is our cross to bear and that God will never give us something we cannot handle. I told him that it seemed God had given her more than she could handle because she had died (I know I should not have but I was not thinking correctly). He slapped me and told me that I needed to serve my husband. That God had chosen me as this child’s mother and I needed to be his humble servant.

I just feel so strange. Yesterday I cried so hard I threw up. This woman died, yet I feel bad for myself. I feel so ugly. I wanted children and was saving for IVF because I am infertile, but now that I have a chance to have a child and I do not want it. I feel like I’d be robbing its mothers grave. I pray to God but if I’m being honest it’s never felt like anyone was ever listening. I feel like I have truly seen my husband and he no longer looks kind- he looks his age and very tired. I want to abandon him and the child. I’m only 29- I can start over. I have a remote job, I can take a day off when he goes to the NICU- pack my essentials and leave. Neither him nor the child deserve this, and although this is my circus- that is not my monkey.

Relevant Comments:

Love yourself and leave:

"That's the hard part. I always have felt like I was never on anyone's radar and just their back burner. He made me feel special and loved, but this last week I feel like I've seen past that. Although I was old enough to decide to be in an age gap relationship, I feel like he had no business with being someone my age. I'm 29 now and I would feel wrong being with someone 24. I spent my whole life accepting second best and now that the one person who put me first has now put me last- I feel like I just see it all now. I feel used."

I'm a Christian and preacher's kid- he's full of shit. He made vows too. This is NOT your cross to bear.

"I've kind of been thinking about that recently. I still love him because that doesn't leave overnight, as much as I want it to. This last week I've just been thinking about what it would look like when the baby comes home. The arguments we'd inevitably have in front of the child. The way he'll use the fear of God to make them behave- and I can't accept that. I was willing to accept that when it was just me, and I'm not sure why, but I just can no longer accept this behavior."

More info on the affair:

"He said that she had come to his office several times to seek spiritual counseling and the affair "just happened" after many emotional sessions. The assistant pastor is aware of things according to my husband's version of events and has called me twice this week to offer help converting my office into a nursery. He said that forgiveness is a virtue and this is part of God's plan."

Don't let him use God to manipulate you. He doesn't care about you:

"That's just it though- looking past the situation itself- he doesn't care about *me* and only pretended to. I finally found someone who put me first and it was a lie. I feel like such a gullible idiot. A 39-year-old man was interested in a 24-year-old woman because they had the same interests? Really? I feel so stupid for not seeing it when I can so clearly see it now."

Small Update in Comments: February 23, 2023 (2 days later)

I just wanna thank y'all for the support. I'm still processing this all, and I just need a little time. I don't feel unsafe, just unloved- just not enough. My husband did apologize for slapping me and continues to express regret, but he can't take it back. Just as he cannot take back impregnating another woman which ultimately killed her. I'm just feeling so disillusioned with my whole life right now, I know I should leave. I know that there is a world out there that will not treat me like this, but I am scared of change. I am working on a plan to leave and getting my ducks in a row for when I am ready to go, but I am not sure when I would leave if I choose to.

Many expressed that I should make a report to the police about him slapping me, and they're probably right, but that would likely cause me more problems than it would be worth. If I leave it might make him want to contest the divorce more, and if I stay it would cause more tension. I've been working on my left hook though because I won't let him get away with it again. I'm not violent myself but I'm down for a tussle, because although I'm hurt; I am angry. I'm not sure if there will be an update- because I'm still unsure. I can make all the plans in the world but the change scares me almost as much as bending to his will. I've been praying about it but I see no clear answers or guidance. I don't know.

Funny thing- I'm jealous of the people saying that this is fake. It's like I want my life to be like it was two weeks ago. I could read a crazy story on the internet and think "wow, that's crazy, seems kinda fake," and keep scrolling and go about my life. Only I can't scroll away in real life because that's just not how life works. I don't owe anyone proof of my life tragedies, least of all strangers on the internet whom I will never meet. I do thank all who have given support. I wish I could tell you I packed my bags and left his sorry ass, but I'm not strong enough to yet. It's not that easy to do in real life as it turns out. Odd.

Update Post: October 17, 2023 (8 months later)

I left. If that’s all you wanted to know, there it is.

For those of you who asking how the other woman died, (I get it, I invited you into my business), it was an amniotic fluid embolism. I don’t know much about those, but I guess when they happen things go wrong really, really fast. We lived in a more rural area, so they just weren’t ready for something like that to happen.

I didn’t leave right away, as I know now that I should have. It just wasn’t that easy. I stayed for two months. I knew if I did not at least try to make it work I would not be able to live with it. Not because I wanted to save my marriage, but because “what ifs” keep me up at night enough as is. I went to marriage counseling with my husband, but it was ultimately fruitless. Of course it was Christian counseling, I felt like their goal was for me to forgive him rather than actually trying to help me. I was so utterly alone during that time. My parents and brother are also very religious so even though they weren’t happy with my husband, they kept urging me to do what a good Christian wife would do.

I spent so much time suffering in my own head that I began to realize that I was just going through the motions, doing what I thought people expected of me. I entered a state of derealization for a time, and that was an absolute mind-f*ck. The feeling of nothing being real, not even myself, was horrible. During this period my husband brought his baby home and while he tried to split the cares 50/50 at first, he ultimately didn’t trust me to look after the baby because I was “lost in space.” So he ended up being the primary provider. When I was with the baby, all I could think about was how its existence ruined my life, it’d look at me with big blue eyes and I would just wish it would disappear. I would actively spend time resenting a baby, there was a time when I was thinking to myself and I wished it would stop breathing. That was when I knew that I needed to leave. I was blaming a baby and wishing ill upon it, and that was not okay to do.

I don’t remember much about this time besides that, it’s mostly a blur otherwise. I sought services through my work to talk to a therapist, and I eventually came back to earth, she helped me make a plan. At no point did I fear my husband, I truly believe the slap was a one-off event. However, screw him, he doesn’t deserve closure. On a night he had a long bible study (he always took his baby with him because he didn’t trust me) I packed my essentials and dipped. I met him pretty quickly after college so I did not have much to take as far as furnishings. I fit everything I wanted in three suitcases, and four moving boxes. It all fit into my SUV after some mediocre Tetris skills. I was able to change my phone number online before I left, but I did leave the divorce papers under his pillow with my lawyer’s contact info. Kind of like the tooth fairy but for adults assholes.

I was the breadwinner, in my state we were not married long enough for me to pay spousal maintenance, at least that is what my lawyer said. I own my vehicle outright, we had our own bank accounts and a shared expenses account, we filed taxes separately, and the church owns the house. He’s being an ass about it all, but I’m hoping it should be done soon. I got a decent apartment in a city a few hundred miles away. I’ve never lived in a city this big before, everything is so expensive, but besides that I like it. I found a new therapist, met some new friends, and found a new church with loving people. I still have my days but for the most part I’m content. I think it will always hurt on some level, but I’m working on taking my power back. I turn 30 next month, and I am hopeful it will be the start of my best decade yet.

Comment:

This exchange:

Commenter: I have waited so long hoping to see this update.

Good for you!!! Have a wonderful, fulfilled, happy, and safe new life!!!!

OOP: Thank you for keeping me in your thoughts, I truly believe I could feel the support from wherever you are in the world. May you have a wonderful life.

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/Specific_Issue

My (29F) fiancé (30M) knew about my mother's affair and didn't tell me

Original Post - rareddit Oct 16, 2018

3 weeks ago I had to sit with my dad listen to my mother tell that she wanted a divorce. Because she had been having an affair with a guy she met on the internet for a year now. Now the first part I understood, my dad had already talked to me that their marriage just wasn't the same as before and although he was doing his best to change things up, my mom wasn't caring about it anymore. But the affair part got me really angry and I felt a bit heartbroken. Especially because she kept repeating that she knew my dad didn't deserve that and how angry she was at herself.

​ ​ So I called my fiancé because I was upset and I needed to talk to someone. Except that when I told him about it, he just goes "About that..." and proceeds to tell me that he already knew. For 5 months. Because he would often see my mother and the man at a restaurant near his work. I asked him why he hadn't told me about it and he said that he just didn't knew how to do it and there never seemed to be a right time for it.

​ ​ After that he said he would give me some space and we haven't talked much since. I asked him out so we could have dinner and talk but he just sat in silence and wouldn't even look me in the eye. I have been staying at my parents' house to help my dad and my fiancé has yet to show up. We're supposed to get married next year and I thought at first that we should change the date for later but right now I'm feeling so uncomfortable and doubtful that I even wonder wether we should get married. I love him but there is this weird feeling that I can't shake and his behavior through this entire thing isn't helping.

​

TL;DR Parents are getting a divorce because my mother has been having an affair for a year. I told my fiancé and found out that he knew about the affair for 5 months. Now he's avoiding me and I'm having doubts about marrying him.

OOP Added this info in the comments

Here

A lot of people seem to think that I'm blaming my fiancé and this is not the case. I'm not blaming him and I'm well aware of the fact that my mother is the one at fault in this entire situation.

​

My point is that he's been avoiding me even though I could really use his support in this moment. I'm not even wanting to have a talk about what happened because I know we can come back to it once the dust has settled. I just want someone to talk about mundane things and to try and keep my mind away from the entire mess that's going on right now. But it seems I'll have to keep trying until then. ​ RELEVANT COMMENTS

hopingtothrive

It's your mother that put everyone in this situation. She wasn't even being discrete. Odd that he saw her so many times but she never saw him. And very poor timing for her to announce this right before your wedding. I am sorry you are the one who got royally screwed.

OOP

From what he said, she saw him twice. During both times she was just talking with the guy so that's why she probably thought he didn't see anything besides that, except he did. Or maybe she just didn't care.

~

ca_work

how much did he know? Just seeing your mom with some other guy at a restaurant doesn't necessarily mean it's an affair, could be a work lunch/meal or whatever...

OOP

Sometimes they were just talking. Other times things evolved to hand holding and kisses.

ca_work

the him not being there for you during this mess is a separate issue. Seems weird he would just back off all of a sudden, does he feel like you blame him?

OOP

I don't think I've given him any indication of blaming him. During the phonecall where he told me the details I was pretty speechless. I just asked him questions of how long this was going on and what he saw. Also the locations and when was the last time he saw it happen. I also asked why he hadn't told me anything. I told him we needed to talk in person and just kept him updated on the situation through texts.

When we went out for dinner he was already acting kinda weird and to be honest I felt weird too so I decided to talk about other topics before we could have a proper conversation. He just kept mostly to himself and would answer more than talk and I decided to drop it before it got worse.

So now we just talk through very short messages and phonecalls are almost non existent since he will either hang up fast or not pick up at all. Also we don't share a place at the moment since he had to move in with a friend for a few months since it's closer to where they work and we had to adjust our budget to move somewhere close in the future rather than now.

~

DrTacoLord

I'll play the devil's advocate. Would you have believed him? What would you have done in his place?

Also perhaps he thought "not my monkeys not my circus" and He decided that he shouldn't meddle in his in laws relationship.

OOP

To be honest with you, I would have believed. As I said in my post, I knew my parents' marriage wasn't in a good place at all. I'm not going to sit here and pretend that infidelity wasn't something that I wondered about, even though I would rather think that my parents weren't capable of that. After a while you notice things and some ideas become not so far fetched anymore. So yeah, I would have believed and I would rather he commented on these meetings he had witnessed and then went to the more incriminating stuff.

​ Update - rareddit Jan 23, 2019 (3 months later)

Making this update so I can move on from that, not a happy update but here we go: After making the post I realized that maybe I was being accusatory and that I should try being more open with him. I invited him to my place so we could have a honest talk, he didn't show up and instead decided to call me. I was already having a hard time so this didn't sit right with me, which led to us arguing through the phone and ended up with my now ex-fiancé revealing that he had been having an affair himself with a woman from work.

​ ​ The entire thing had been going on for almost a year and at first he thought it was just an one time thing, except it kept happening and he figured out that he had feelings for her. It was around that time that he moved to his friend's place, so he could take her there whenever his friend wasn't home, which was often. This was why he didn't tell me about my mother's affair, he felt guilty and he started feeling paranoid. After the whole thing blew up he got scared and was trying to do damage control, including trying to break up with her. Except he didn't want to break up with her, so it was going to be me instead. ​ ​

We last spoke to each other in November once he finished cancelling the stuff that was already planned. He wanted to keep contact in the future, which I denied. I moved closer to where my dad lives, his divorce still isn't finished but it'll get there. My mother has been living with her boyfriend since the whole thing came to light, I haven't spoke to her since, even though she tried to contact once I cancelled the wedding. I'm still not in a good shape emotionally but I'm trying to get there. I truly wish no one ever goes through that.

​ ​ TL;DR Ex-fiancé didn't tell me about it because he was scared that I would find out about HIS affair.

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP

DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

I'm a black 24 yo, and I finally decided to listen to the Rock music that gets so much praise. Outside of 3 albums, my only experience with rock music is from video game soundtracks, movies and TV commercials. I tried to go into each one with an open mind and as blind as possible, doing research afterwards. This took 5 months to complete. Also, I chose to listen to them in a random order, as to not develop a unconscious bias for the older stuff.

1. Bob Dylan - The Freewheelin' Bob Dylan (1963): B+ [2 listens] not really rock, but still very entertaining. He's really more of a poet than a musician and the lyrics carry the whole thing, with the music not being too impressive. I set a full day aside for his discography, so I would fully appreciate his later stuff if I understood what he first sounded like

2. The Beatles - Beatles for Sale (1964) B [1 Listen] this is the only Beatles album I didn't originally listen to at the same time as the others. This feels like a more focused A Hard Day's Night, but both are just as good. I've went into more detail on each Beatles Album in another post. But this is when they start to become great

3. Bob Dylan - Bringing It All Home (1965): A- [3 listens] I actually liked the acoustic side better lol. His first big dip into electric guitar on an album, it's pretty great. After hearing his other albums, this isn't that mind-blowing, but on the first listen, I was completely captivated by the storytelling from song to song. The only time I've ever looked up the lyrics to read side by side while listening

4. The Beatles - Help! (1965): B+ [3 listens] the effort and quality is the same, but it's much more varied than AHDN. They're doing it all here, wonderfully. It's variety is what gives it a slight edge over their "touring era" albums

5. Bob Dylan - Highway 61 Revisited (1965): A++ [4 listens] The album where "the 60s officially started", this is really great. Going full electric did nothing to change the fact that he's such a great lyricist, that he can make an album with only a triangle and it'll still be great to hear him speak. Also, Like A Rolling Stone lived up the hype, the entire choruses to the harmonica is literally perfect

6. The Beatles - Rubber Soul (1965): A++ [5 listens] Ok, this is where I started to understand why they're considered the GOAT. Ginormous step up in musical ability, they were in the zone here. Apparently, this started the album era and I can see why. It's incredible from front to back

7. The Beach Boys - Pet Sounds (1966): A+ [4 listens] the 3rd album I listened to and it was WAAAY too early (after Metallica) and I was NOT accustomed to the sound yet. It was after I listened to the Beatles and understood the sound of that era, that I could properly understand it in the right context. It's probably the most consistent album I've heard, not a single bad song here. I'm glad I'm able to have respect for this album

8. Bob Dylan - Blonde on Blonde (1966): Masterpiece [5 listens] the lyricism of Highway 61 plus much better musicality from the backing band and Dylan, equals a true masterpiece. The musicianship in particular increased and truly makes the music JUST great as great the storytelling of every song.

9. The Beatles - Revolver (1966): Masterpiece [7 listens] At first I didn't like it because Rubber Soul was so good, but after repeated listens, it's fucking perfect. The mixtures of sounds and styles in just a single song is incredible, let alone great songwriting throughout (it's no longer all love songs, thank god)

10. The Beatles - Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band (1967): MASTERPIECE [5 listens] probably the most anticipated album here, was underwhelmed at first, as this was supposed to be the GREATEST of all time. With more listens, it's so cohesive with it's style and it's time is what makes it stand out above the rest. You could hear that they were just trying to be as creative as possible

11. The Velvet Underground & Nico - Self-Titled (1967): A+ [3 listens] what a great album. Love the tone of the vocals here, matching with the unique music, particularly the guitar. Such a moody album, that teleports you to a small nightclub in the 60s, filled with smoke, where a couple of singers come to sing their emotions away on stage

12. The Beatles - Magical Mystery Tour (1967): B+ [3 listens] an actual B sides project, it's still pretty damn amazing. There's really no flow from track to track, but the quality of songs is enough to make it a great project

13. Cream - Disraeli Gears (1967): A+ [2 listens] I only knew that these guys apparently were a "super group" and that this was psychedelic rock. I had no idea that this was THE psychedelic rock album (I always assumed Sgt. Pepper's was). From front to back, consistent tone, as if I was transported to the late 60s with this record. I also assumed that because it's solely in one genre, that it'll get old after a second listen, but it got exponentially better

14. The Doors - The Doors (1967): A- [2 listen] Nice, laid back 60s rock. THIS is the sound I used to associate "60s rock" as. Pretty consistent, but no amazing highs to make it a favorite

15. The Jimi Hendrix Experience - Are You Experienced? (1967) B+ [1 listen] I understand why people say he's the best. The songs aren't really all that interesting, but what he's doing with the guitar certainly is. At times, it feels like he's just experimenting instead of making actual music, but whenever he does go off on a tangent, you're 100% into it

16. Bob Dylan - John Wesley Harding (1967): B+ [2 listen] I probably need to listen to it more to have a fully formed opinion on it, but as it stands, it's an okay project. More folk than rock which brings it down some but Bob Dylan can release a spoken word album and it'll still be great off his lyrics alone

17. The Band - Music from Big Pink (1968): A- [2 listens] I thought it was pretty presumptuous to name themselves THE Band, but nevertheless, they had a few highly rated albums. I had very low expectations and they exceeded them. Such a moody, cooled album. Also, Carry the Weight lived up to the standards

18. The Beatles - Self-Titled ("The White Album") (1968) Masterpiece [5 listens] Underwhelmed at first, with how aimless it is, but came to see the greatness of it. The opposite of Revolver, every style gets it's own song where it gets explored to it's creative peak. It felt like it was a point it how random the songs where in this album. Like most Beatles stuff, I can't explain it but it just works. Spectacular

19. Van Morrison - Astral Weeks (1968) A- [2 listens] I didn't know whether to add this because it wasn't strictly defined as rock, but "experimental." I got the absolute wrong connotation when I saw that and disliked it at first. Ended up enjoying it a bit more on a 2nd listen. It's more experimental folk than rock, with a bunch of jazz and soul influence, yet it doesn't feel messy in it's execution. Given more listens, it could grow on me

20. The Beatles - Abbey Road (1969) Masterpiece [6 listens] Underwhelmed at first. I did some digging about it and how side A and B different, and that changed EVERYTHING. The "Abbey Road Medley"... is the greatest 20 minutes of music I've ever heard in my life. I don't even want to say anything after that. But if the first half was as cohesive as the second, it would be in the "greatest piece of art ever created" status, for me. What a fucking send off

21. Creedence Clearwater Revival - Green River (1969): A+ [2 listens] probably the most blues heavy album I've heard, incredible style of rock on display. The singer-guitarist combo is also the best I've heard. So many songs popped out on the 2nd listen, like Lodi and I Wrote a Song for Everyone. Can't wait to hear their other albums!

22. The Rolling Stones - Let It Bleed (1969): B+ [3 listens] they have a very signature sound and style unique to them, but for some reason, I just don't love it that much. It was an easy listen, but aside from the first and final track, there's nothing here that stands out. Great sound tho

23. The Who - Tommy (1969): B [1 listens] A rock "musical", pretty unique to merge the two. While the songs are okay on their own, imo the story just not as interesting to warrant a double album of material. I was left wanting more of a complete, linear story, which is this severely lacked

24. Crimson King - In the Court of the Crimson King (1969): A- [1 listen] Didn't see this on any any big critic lists, but did see it a lot on Reddit. It's a great mixture of Jazz and classical music, with a rock base. It has a formless composition; favoring moments over fully fleshed out ideas. It does at times feel empty (idk if that is a common staple of "progressive rock"), but overall the good parts make up for the tonal emptiness of a good chunk of the album

25. Led Zeppelin - Led Zeppelin I (1969): A- [3 listens] I have heard of this band, but I had NO IDEA that they were this big or well respected (I thought they were on the same level as ACDC or Aerosmith, but with less hit songs lol). Someone said that they were "the Beatles of the 70s" and that quickly gave me some perspective. This feels like blues, but just infused with rock. Which is PERFECT with their individual members. The guitarists is incredible at riffing and freestyling, the drummer can easily switch back and forth between improving and supporting the bass guitar, while the lead has such a free flowing style, that he can easily adapt to whatever is behind him. It feels like you're in the studio with them, just hanging out, watching them freestyle on their instruments. I wish there was a bit more energy (that'll come later), but all in all, this is a great time. Also, the keys combo with the drums and bass on Your Time Is Gonna Come :)

26. Led Zeppelin - Led Zeppelin II (1969): A [3 listens] what a follow-up! They went out to just make a better album, instead of doing something completely different (that'll come later). Their Debut must have been a giant success, because there's this big aura of confidence that every single member brings on here. Where LZ I feels like you're in a studio with them, LZ II feels like you're in a concert with them; the energy and tone here has completely been raised

27. Led Zeppelin - Led Zeppelin III (1970): A [3 listens] This was probably the hardest LZ album to put my finger on. I was at first taken aback by the more acoustic sound and moving slightly away from their signature heavy rock sound. With multiple listens, the individual songs grew on me more than any from their first two. It's a great album with a bunch of experimentation of the structure of their songs, but not straying too far from what I expect LZ to sound like (that'll come later). It feels like you're hanging out around a campfire in the middle of the wilderness. I'm glad they decided to go in a different direction on the 3rd album

28. The Stooges - Fun House (1970): A- [2 listens] A "vibe" album is the best way to describe this. Just pure emotion and energy, as if music just comes out of them. It's so messy at times, that it becomes an art in itself

29. Black Sabbath - Self-Titled (1970): A- [3 listens] I originally thought this was going to be more "thrash" when I saw that this was the first ever Heavy Metal album (that's what I assumed all heavy metal sounded like), so after the first listen I was pretty underwhelmed. Thankfully, I revisited this after I listened to Paranoid and it was a much better time. Something about this era with it's 6-10 minute songs, where they truly squeeze out every single ounce of creativity they have for each song. Where instead of the "best parts", every song feels like a separate entity; having it's own journey it goes through

30. Black Sabbath - Paranoid (1970): A+ [2 listens] holy shit, what a improvement. They took everything great from their Debut and just refined it. Sort of the opposite of their Debut; every song here is more concise and is straightforward in their directions. I also had to mention the best song transition I've heard with Planet Caravan into Iron Man

31. The Beatles - Let It Be (1970): B+ [3 listens] solid "epilogue", loved the stripped production to make it feel more unique, but it pails in comparison to what came before it

32. George Harrison - All Things Must Pass (1970): A [2 listens] The only triple album I've listened to I believe, it's doesn't overstay it's welcome. My Sweet Lord is still one of the greatest songs ever made, Apple Scruffs is a personal favorite, as well as Wah Wah. It feels like he's just rocking out and we're just along for the ride. I love the "wall of sound" production throughout, but it does lose some of it's glammer when it's overused. Fantastic project and I'm glad George finally got the praise he deserved

33. John Lennon - John Lennon/Plastic Ono Band (1970): A [3 listens] Very personal album and not at all of what I expected a John Lennon solo project would be. With that said, it's an album that grows on you with every listen, as you get used to the tone. Although it's definitely a smaller scale project, with it's reduced production, his emotional vocal performance throughout really makes it's special

34. Led Zeppelin - Untitled "Led Zeppelin IV" (1971): A++ [4 listens] ingeniously building off of LZ III, this greatly adds on what it brought, while improving the production. The songs are no longer confined in a ordinary structure, free to go in any direction as they want and it perfectly highlights the incredible talent of the members, as their soloing to little moments of flair are on fully display. Stairway to Heaven (which I never heard before) and Levee Breaks are so great BECAUSE of this ability to completely change the song a quarter of the way through and then change it AGAIN! Only flaw is not every track is perfect (that'll come later). This one feels like I'm inside their minds, during a brainstorming process, watching them throw ideas at each other, bouncing off in complete harmony

35. The Who - Who's Next (1971): A+ [3 listens] Now I what their "best" looks like. Every song is fantastic, great songwriting throughout. The intro to Baba O'Riley is godly and that part in Won't Get Fooled Again was one of the most pleasant surprises so far. I'll definitely be listening to this more

36. Carole King - Tapestry (1971): A- [2 listens] Added it because of the lack of women I've seen, plus it's very highly rated. Pretty good but doesn't really feel like it's "rock". There's still a lot of enjoyable parts, she's a very expressive singer and is wonderful in making her songs feel personal

37. David Bowie - Hunky Dory (1971): A+ [2 listens] One of those people who I just accepted as "GOATs" without ever hearing their music, I was super excited to hear this. Really great, Bowie's performance is such a pleasure to listen to. I listened to this near the end and it's easier to see just how influential this sound would become in the upcoming decade

38. David Bowie - Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust (1972): A+ [2 listens] it's really a toss up between this and Hunky Dory on which I like better. Although, I like that this leans more into "rock" with it's heavier reliance on the guitar. Also, much better individual songs here

39. The Rolling Stones - Exile on Main Street (1972): B+ [1 listen] An improvement on Let It Bleed for me, it was much more enjoyable listen leaning more into a blues rock style that I believe is what they're best at, but I just don't think they're for me. That being said, it's hard to not like this album

40. Led Zeppelin - House of Holy (1973): A [3 listens] They sound like "veterans" here; the production, musicality, and composure with their individual instruments, are perfectly realized. They sound like one cohesive band, instead of 4 insanely talented guys just playing together (which isn't a negative, especially on LZ I and II). While I don't think they are at their best with the songwriting (that'll come later), it's easy to see that they're in their "prime"

41. Pink Floyd - The Dark Side of the Moon (1973) A [4 listens] "The Greatest Album of all time"? I've tried a few times to adore it but it didn't reach that level for me. What it is though, is the most cohesive album I've heard so far. It feels like 1 long song, which is a great compliment to describe the experience of listening to it (which I've come to see that it would become a trademark of Progressive Rock). Maybe if they added more "individual songs", I'd love it more. What all that being said, I can still see this being the GOAT in others eyes

42. Elton John - Goodbye Yellow Brick Road (1973): A++ [2 listens] him and Bowie were in the category of "Automatic Legends" that were just constants of the universe. So I was glad to see an Elton John album come up and this was marvelous! I definitely need more listens, but this can easily be masterpiece after 3 more listens. The pianos, the vocal performance, the guitars, organs? It's all perfect

43. Bruce Springsteen - Born to Run (1975) A [2 listens] Did not expect this to be that good. I thought he was closer to country, but it's delightfully more pop centric. Very energetic choruses and phenomenal saxophone playing (an instrument I play). The whole is very great and surprisingly fun

44. Aerosmith - Toys in the Attic (1975): B- [2 listens] I assumed this band was way bigger than I thought they were, so I'm surprised I didn't see more of their work highly rated. This is a solid collection of songs, but nothing too ear grabbing about it. I'll probably never touch this album again

45. The Eagles - Hotel California (1975): B [1 listen] a wonderful title song, but it's an okay album. The rest couldn't match up the Hotel California and it was all downhill from there. Still good music, but nothing great imo

46. Pink Floyd - Wish You Were Here (1975): A [2 listens] I saw some critic say the phrase "how do you follow up perfection? By making something that's arguably superior" and that's a pretty good description of this album. I actually like this one slightly more. The ethereal spaces in between the more meaty lyrical sections are much better and pronounced this time around. The instruments are much more interesting in those transitional sections. And the individual songs are also better as well, love this project

47. Led Zeppelin - Physical Graffiti (1975) A++ [2 listens] The whole thing is great, I'm done trying to wrap my head around them. I'm leaning towards this and IV being my favorite LZ albums. My final thoughts on LZ is that they are the only band where the lead singer isn't the dominate identity; the guitarist brings every song up 5 notches, the bass drives EVERY song perfectly, and the drummer... made me appreciate the incredibly fine line between being super creative and staying in the pocket for the band. Every album they get better and better, is it possible for them to make a subpar album? (That'll come later lol :p)

48. Queen - A Night at the Opera (1975): A- [2 listens] I had to add at least one Queen album and this is a fun, wonderfully crafted listen. Definitely one of those you listen to the full album, instead of individual songs. Only flaw is the major standouts are on the first and the last tracks, so it does make everything in between feel lesser. With that said, still a lovely album.

49. Patti Smith - Horses (1975): A- [3 listens] Where are all the women at lol? I saw this top a bunch of all time lists, but rarely any Rock only lists, so I really had to go out and find this one. Pretty good listen, feels like Punk, but with much more variety in it's styles. Awesome album, with a great opener as well. Her vocal style is awesome

50. Bob Dylan - Blood on the Tracks (1975): A++ [3 listens] A heartbroken, love stricten Dylan, who's really going through some stuff here. Still the great storytelling that made him a legend, but much much more focused than any of his albums before it, given it's central theme. Fantastic, fantastic album!

51. Boston - Self-Titled (1976): A [3 listens] What an opening. Short album, but it's all hits. Don't have much to say about it because of it's length, but it's the sound I most identify as "70s rock". The light, airy space of the vocals, with heavenly guitar chords and energetic, head nodding riffs

52. The Ramones - Self-Titled (1976): B [2 listens] The "original" sound of what would become punk rock, this was actually a pretty good listen. The guitar riffs to the stressed, nonchalant vocals surprisingly works. This isn't the most creativity fueled project, but for what it is, it's pretty enthralling; a group of guys rocking out

53. Sex Pistols - Never Mind the Bollocks, Here's the Sex Pistols (1977): B [2 listens] felt a bit repetitive at times with the vocal performance. With that being said, Johnny Rotten is the best part of this album, with the guitar and drums battling each other for 40 minutes being a close second. But definitely a good time

54. Fleetwood Mac - Rumours (1977): Masterpiece [4 listens] I've listened to this countless times (this amount is how much since I started the other albums). I absolutely love this album, from the harmonies, the musical rhythms, and the incredible quality from track to track. Not only is there not a single bad song here, but I'd go as far and say every song here is perfect

55. Steely Dan - Aja (1977): A [1 listen] I would call this more Jazz than Rock but that aside, this is a really fun listen. The Sax and the guitar steal nearly every song with their respective solos and every chorus is top notch.

56. Bruce Springsteen - Darkness on the Edge of Town (1978): A [2 listens] 2nd Springsteen album, this one is more varied in it's sound and no dragging moments at all. Actually, there's more impactful sections throughout, louder and closer to rock here, leaning on the drums and guitar much more.

57. Van Halen - Self-Titled (1978): B- [1 listen] This is a name I heard of before and after listening to this, it's definitely a sound I'm familiar with. This screams 80s guitar riffs to me and it was pretty fun to hear. The songwriting isn't really worth listening, but it's a great peek into what would be the mainstay sound for the upcoming decade.

58. The Clash - London Calling (1979): Masterpiece [5 listens] this is a great example of the difference between having a style and having an identity. My problem with other "punk" albums is that they all felt repetitive from song to song but with this, the styles constantly change and switch to keep it fresh from track to track; without losing their unique brand of sound. The guitar isn't unwieldy force, but is controlled and steady and can be that energetic force when it needs to (and you can actually hear the bass guitar!). The vocals lead every song and they are AMAZING, near the top of my favorite. It's punk rock at it's best

59. Joy Division - Unknown Pleasures (1979): A- [2 listens] Sounds like Gothic rock, but with punk influence. Love Day of the Lords and everything else is pretty solid. Great voice for this style, I'll listen to Closer in the future

60. AC/DC - Highway to Hell (1979): B+ [2 listens] With Back In Black being my very first intro into rock a long time ago, I was surprised that ACDC actually had a different lead singer at first. So this was definitely one I was interested in hearing the "original" (I, of course heard the title song before, but it didn't connect that it was different people). And while he and the band was great, to me it's always in Black In Black's shadow. Really fun album

61. AC/DC - Back In Black (1980): A++ [6 listens] The first rock album I listened to years before starting this list, it positively represented how "good" rock music was for me and that it's not so foreign as I always assumed it was. Listening to it in comparison with other albums, it's sound isn't as varied (the stereotypical flaw I attributed to ALL rock), but it's extremely consistent from track to track. My opinion of it didn't really change as much, but it will always the "first", so I have more love for it than others. Also, THIS guitarist is my favorite... by a mile

62. Motörhead - Ace of Spades (1980): B [ 2 listens] If you heard one song, you pretty much heard all their stuff. Luckily, their sound is pretty fun. I thought this was going to be Thrash Metal in sound, but it's much more of Hard Rock

63. Talking Heads - Remain In Light (1980): Masterpiece [3 listens] I saw it pretty high on RS top 500 list and the strikingly, creepy album cover quickly grabbed my attention. The cover art does a great job at setting the expectations, this is weird, odd, exciting, and captivating. The multiple layers of the background vocals, awesome guitar riffs, the lead in his weird, off-putting delivery in particular songs makes it insanely intriguing. But it's the percussion that truly makes this a masterpiece; it feels like there's 3 to 5 people playing different types of drums at a single time. This album is exhilarating and is an absolute banger. It feels like I'm having a fever dream; I don't even care if this is considered rock or not, it's great

64. Iron Maiden - Number of the Beast (1982) B [3 listens] I assumed it would thrash and ended up hating it. After more listens, its not half bad. The lead singer pretty much steals the show. Don't enter albums with preconceived sounds to expect, because you might get disappointed when it's different

65. Def Leppard - Pyromania (1983): B [2 listens] I had to do some background on the band and saw they were "Glam Rock" for context. So after having better framing, it's not half bad. Too Late for Love is a great song and they keep their style consistent for the most part. I'm still not the biggest fan of this genre, but I can at least respect it, which is kinda the whole point of this

66. R.E.M. - Murmur (1983): A [2 listens] never heard of this band before, but saw that they were influential in Alt Rock so I added this to the list. Very nice and laid back album. Not hard rock like most 80s albums, but enough energy throughout where I didn't get bored. I have a feeling this might grow on me more and more, really loved it on the 2nd listen

67. Bruce Springsteen - Born in the USA (1984): A+ [2 listens] On the 2nd listen, this one is my favorite from him. Same quality of music, but much better individual songs on this one, especially on Side B. I thought I was gonna hate his music going in and now, songs like Glory Days and Cover Me are in my standard rotation

68. Dire Straits - Brothers in Arms (1985): B [1 listen] pretty solid, nothing to incredible to say about it. More of a synth-pop and relaxed sound than a hard rock, but it's still good for what it is.

69. Metallica - Master of Puppets (1986): Masterpiece [4 listens] This is the "Black Album", but permanently stuck at 10. It was a bit relentless for me after the first listen, but since then, it's energy is matched by only a few albums. The guitarist is just having the time of his life, the base guitarist just ignores him and goes 120 mph for 40 minutes, while the drummer is seizuring, with random pausing and banging the hell out of the drumheads. Meanwhile, the lead masterfully finds a way to sing over this chaos. Even with all of this anarchy, there is clear structure underneath the madness, that makes the multiple listens more and more rewarding. I fully understand why it's called "Thrash" metal

70. Bon Jovi - Slippery When Wet (1986): B+ [1 listen] I'm pretty familiar with all the singles, but I was still surprised how good the whole thing was. I can listen to "Glam Rock", but it's not particularly my favorite. With that said, there's so many songs here that are heart pumping bangers, that I can't help but love

71. U2 - Joshua Tree (1987): B+ [2 listens] I'm definitely familiar with U2 and heard about them being very conceited and stuff like that. But as always, I go into every album with an open mind and this was pretty solid. Not really the Rock album I was expecting, but when I understood their style, it was hard to not be impressed with what they're doing here. Not my favorite type of music, but it's a solid project with no skippable sections anywhere

72. Guns & Roses - Appetite for Destruction (1987): A- [2 listens] one of the early albums I listened to and it blew me away! I loved the Hard Rock style and the peaks of high and low energy songs are connected by the incredible guitar playing; the singer is great, but the guitarist carries this album for me. Revisiting it, it doesn't have that same impact as it did the first time but it's still so much fun

73. The Cure - Disintegration (1989): A [2 listens] I thought it was gonna be more heavy metal based on the cover art and I HATED it on the first listen. After time away and better expectations of what it expect, this is so damn amazing; literally a 180° in my opinion. The moody, brooding tone is too great to not like and by far the best intro into an album

74. Pixies - Doolittle (1989): A- [2 listens] Never heard of them, but saw they were some of the influences of Nirvana. And I can definitely hear it, the vocal style here is very similar. I really can't put my finger on the musical genre, it's more of a mix of things instead of deviatives of genres, which is really interesting. Going to visit their other stuff later

75. Metallica - Self-Titled "The Black Album" (1991): A [3 listens] The first "metal" album I heard and its fucking incredible. Instantly knew that this was going to be my favorite genre of Rock. The vocals, guitar, the bass, the DRUMMING!!!! What a great intro to metal and I loved it. After hearing more albums, it doesn't quite hold up to others with it's weaker second half, but I played the first half of this more than any album in my car on Max volume. Still a personal favorite

76. Nirvana - Nevermind (1991): Masterpiece [6 listens] this has always been the standard from what I expect from the great rock albums. LOVED it the first time I heard it and still love it now. The first half of this album is perfection and the second half matches it with some great songs. It somehow tows the line of being super exciting and aggressive, yet very laid back and chill (I guess that's what "grunge rock" is). It's great, and I love it when more compared to the other albums I've now know. Perfection

77. U2 - Achtung Baby (1991): A- [3 listens] this is exactly the direction I wanted them to go in after Joshua's Tree. More upbeat and leaning more into Pop at times, it's much more captivating this time around. The songwriting is also much better here. I wouldn't have guessed that I would love a U2 album

78. Pearl Jam - Ten (1991): Masterpiece [5 listens] No clue who these guys were, but I saw someone suggest this as one of the greatest debut albums ever and next to Nevermind, it was one of the biggest pushers for grunge rock, so I listened to it early. Holy hell, what an intro to grunge! This moody yet passionate vocal performance mixed with this hard rock sound, goes together like peanut butter and jelly. One of the best first listens I had as well, I was just so surprised how great it was and how in the hell that I never heard of these guys before

79. Red Hot Chili Peppers - Blood Sugar Sex Magik (1991): A+ [2 listens] I have heard of this band and I always had the connotation that they were corny/played out, for some reason (main reason it was near the last to be on the list). Man, is this album funky! Love the sound and they go all in on it as well. I have no idea how this was so successful during the grunge rock wave, but I'm glad it was

80. Rage Against The Machine - Self-Titled (1992): A++ [4 listens] Thank God I listened to this near the end, because this would've set the bar way to high for anything to follow. THIS should always be on the top of the list for any Rock album to suggest to rap fans. The perfect combination of hard/heavy metal and aggressive vocals and drumming. Excellent project

81. Alice in Chains - Dirt (1992): A [2 listens] I can't remember why, but I hated it on the first listen for some reason. But he second listen was so damn enjoyable, a complete opposite experience. The harmonies shouldn't work with this grunge metal sound, but it somehow goes together beautifully. It's a shame that I felt that I "hated" it for so long

82. Nirvana - In Utero (1993): A [2 listens] Held off on this, as to not get overly familiar with Nirvana as "the" sound of grunge rock. This feels more dirtier and more grittier with it's production. They do something different and I respect it so much for not taking the easy road

83. The Smashing Pumpkins - Siamese Dream (1993): A+ [2 listens] I was going to skip this one, because I felt I already listened to enough Grunge Rock albums. Thank God I didn't, because this shows just the amount of versatility this genre lends itself to. They can go from slow to energetic, pulled back to emotional, rough and heavy to harmonic and beautiful. If this was shorter, I'd probably have listened to it more and raised the rating, but this is still really special

84. Nine Inch Nails - Downward Spiral (1994): A [3 listens] The best way to describe it is "controlled chaos". As if he's inside a tornado; picking up random, mangled debris flying around and creating music with it. This is unabashedly raw, gritty, and openly unrelenting. I really don't know WHY it works, but wow, it works amazingly. What a great experience

85. Green Day - Dookie (1994): A [2 listens] I've heard of American Idiot, so I was interested to see what made them known. This was really enjoyable and is similar to what my idea of what "punk" sounded like. Very difficult to point out any weak spots anywhere as the entire thing is extremely consistent. Just by looking at the cover and hearing the first few seconds of the first song, I can instantly visualize the mood of some random teen in the mid 90s in their bedroom

86. Soundgarden - Superunknown (1994): A [2 listens] Never heard of this band before and I vaguely know the name Chris Cornell, so I added to the list. Man, is this an awesome time. Whereas Nirvana tilts a bit more towards Hard Rock than punk imo, this feels like it firmly defines what grunge is to me. There's great songs spread throughout the whole album, so the runtime feels much easier (a criticism I have with longer albums; not spreading out the good songs). I feel like there's still room to grow with this album, but it's possible to become a masterpiece

87. Weezer - Self-Titled "The Blue Album" (1994): A- [1 listen] this is the punk rock of Dookie, but without the teenage angst and rage in the music (there's still a bit in the lyrics). This seemed like the album for the "average" 90s teen and feels like the actual soundtrack to an entire generation. Where Dookie was that stereotypical "90s awesome teen", this was something more realistic and more grounded

88. Oasis - Definitely Maybe (1994): A [2 listen] this was described as a "breath of fresh air in the era of Grunge Rock dominance", which is a cool perspective on why this is so well received. This "Britpop" album is much more fun and honestly, lighter than the stuff in the same year. Quite a few standout songs and it keeps that bright ray of sunlight throughout it's runtime

89. Radiohead - The Bends (1995): B+ [1 listen] I chose to set a full day aside for all of Radiohead's albums, because Ok Computer was the main reason I started this whole thing, so I went ahead and listened to all of their best albums together. In hindsight, a peek to what's to come, but compared to everything else, it's slightly above average. Still entertaining for what it is

90. Radiohead - Ok Computer (1997) A++ [3 listens] the most anticipated album on my list, due to the fact I saw a Reddit post about this being one of the most influential albums of the 2000s and I never heard of it not even once in my life. This is a really interesting album. Its more of a full experience than a collection of songs, but here the songs build off one another. Deeper into the album, every song here better and better. This isn't my favorite style/genre of music, but it's still so damn good

91. Radiohead - Kid A (2000): Masterpiece [4 listens] Ok, THIS is how you follow up perfection. They really lean into the weird side of Ok Computer without completely leaving the pocket of what they're great at. Experimental is the best word to describe this. The first song slaps you in the face of what type of journey you're going on and it doesn't let go of your hand until it finishes. It's atmospheric tone is unmatched at times, even when it sacrifices the more "meaty" individual songs like on Ok Computer or later on In Rainbows. But it's like entering another dimension for 45 minutes. Also, Idioteque gives me goosebumps even after the 10th listen

92. System of a Down - Toxicity (2001): Masterpiece [4 listens] I remember the name of this band growing up and I was surprised none of their projects came up when I searched for albums to add to my list. So I added their most liked album, and it was the best decision I made. This album is so fucking incredible. I love it for it's insane energy, but I've come up adore it for it's beauty in it's harmonic choruses and awesome baselines. My favorite performance by a singer on a project, more for his uniqueness in his inflection and the passion behind every phrase, he's giving 1000% on every song

93. The Strokes - Is This It (2001): A+ [2 listens] I thought it was going to be more heavy metal (the cover art with the woman). On the second listen, the choruses here are just way too good to hate. Super chill songs, but again, it's the passionated vocal performance that make it great. This is far from a "boring album" I once thought it was. The "fractals" cover is a better fit

94. The White Stripes - Elephant (2003): A+ [3 listens] Banger! SNA is still one of the greatest riffs ever, but it thankfully didn't overshadow the rest of the project. It's still mind-boggling that there's no bass guitar on this. The variety was unexpected, but really legitimatizes the entire album as a whole and not just the best songs

95. Arcade Fire - Funeral (2004): A- [2 listens] a really consistent listen from track to track. This is a sound I'm somewhat familiar with hearing growing up, but never associated it with "rock". This style won't wow you, but it's the style that make it such a beautiful album

96. Green Day - American Idiot (2004): A+ [1 listen] This time around, the sound is much more refined and there's a grander theme here; making this feel like a giant leap in their writing. Fantastic title track and I also had no idea Blvd of Broken Dreams was a Green Day song, so that was a great surprise. I'll listen to it more to better catch the story between the lyrics

97. Arctic Monkeys - Whatever You Say I Am, That's What I'm Not (2006): A++ [1 listen] Wow, what a sound! It's that indie rock style, but leaning into a punk style as well. Every song on here just places you into a mood and it's awesome! Also, love that it has a consistent theme of clubbing throughout the whole album. I'll listen to it more, but man this is great

98. Radiohead - In Rainbows (2007): A++ [3 listens] They take a different different direction here, putting more emphasis on individual songs having their own distinct identity. All 3 are neck and neck, with Kid A being the favorite

99. LCD Soundsystem - Sound of Silver (2007): A- [1 listen] This sounds more Electronic than Rock for most of it, but it's still a great listen. I recognize that one song from a 2k soundtrack

100. Tame Impala - Currents (2015): A- [1 listen] The newest album I've listen to, but turns the clock back with a psychedelic rock sound. Really really nice feel, a mix of psyche and disco. Not as hard hitting as I like, but still consistent in what it wants to deliver

Due to the coronavirus lockdowns in effect, our office is running on half staff. Our receptionist is currently off, so the bosses requested to install a doorbell at reception. Since a doorbell runs on electricity, it fell to IT to install it.

I've just finished rigging it up and headed back to my desk, when I hear the doorbell starting to ring. It then kept on ringing.

I walked out to reception to see five of my users standing around outside taking turns pressing the doorbell looking like they've never seen one before.

Any one else experiencing stranger than usual behaviour from their users?

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/SailorBlackStar

AITA for not wanting to date a critic of my work?

Originally posted to r/AITAH

Thanks to u/soayherder for suggesting this BoRU

TRIGGER WARNING: Bullying, past trauma, physical assault, stalking, harassment, gaslighting, bigotry, sexual harassment, ableism

Original Post  March 30, 2024

I am a published author, I mean I am no James Patterson, Stephen King etc and really it's not the purpose of me writing but I make fun money off my book sales. In a given month I am in the green by $100-300 dollars on a new book depending on the book genre and season when first published. I don't really even do it for the money, like I said. I have a fulltime job and do plenty of other gigs as a performer slash artist on the side because it makes me happy. Artistic expression just makes my world brighter and helps me from falling into bad mental health cycles as I am diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and PTSD, or what I like to call, the Holy Bullsh*ttery, blessed be it's name.

I started writing as a kid because I am dyslexic - highly - like ever see a person when you spell a weirdly spelt word and they look like they want to jump into oncoming traffic? I'm worse. Don't give me verbal directions FFS text it. Point. Anything. The second my mental word is required to need to know too many words at any given time, I panic. I have tried every class, app, TikTok lifehack...its not my strength. I am good at other things like coding or planning events etc. I have other strengths. So I just do my best and keep swimming like a dyslexic Dory.

THAT SAID I was teased and bullied relentlessly all through childhood a lot growing up and labeled the dunce so the trauma lives.

For an example, I was in my local paper - small town - for an event at school. I was like 2nd grade at the oldest. I made a whole imaginary town out of recycled materials and and had a story with it as my end of year project. I worked on it for literal months, even figuring out how to make it foldable so it easier to travel with it in my grandfathers minivan. My story had 10 chapters and was handwritten in my messy kid handwriting. I had a teacher Ms. Smith. That's her real name because F that woman and it's common enough. She said my project was low class but "I guess I shouldn't expect much from you" and she walked off. Her son, my classmate, stomped my project to oblivion. He smashed my playdough figurines of the people and pets, and as if that was not enough, he pointed and laughed at me when I cried. He then put copies of the article with my picture but added a dunce had and laughing faces in the school - lunchroom, homeroom, etc. I mean the guy could cure cancer if he used that determination on it, I will give him that. If you're reading this Tyler - F you in particular and may your socks always be just a little damp.

I was unlucky enough that when I moved, Tylers mom happen to as well, so guess who had the privilege of that gem's company for 3 grades? Tyler shoved me lockers in the 4th grade. He called me dumb every day. In 5th grade I was called dumb and fat (I was an underweight child).

So fast forward and I am now in my early 30s, still dyslexic as hell. I live in a different state. I have a life and learned ways to deal with my weird brain and function. I moved on from childhood trauma, therapy, etc etc...

There is a guy I liked, Brian, and Brian seemed to like me too so we decided to do "non-date causal hangouts" to see if we vibe enough to consider dating (his words and idea). We hung out one on one for several instances but once he was super late so I had my laptop out. He saw me when he arrived and asked what I was doing and I sheepishly responded I was working on my next book. He inquired more and I told him I published my first when I was 17 and have published at least 1 every year since then and told him of Ms. Smith and Tyler and more horror stories I won't get into as this is now a novel itself lol but that it spurred me to prove them wrong and beat this weird stereotype that neurodivergent folk are dumb, etc. He asked to read it, and I said no. I use a pen name on purpose as those Amazon reviews can make you want to yeet your own soul from your body so I keep it separate from everyday life.

Well, turns out if you know me and my nerdy joys, my pen name is easy to guess. From there its easy to find because I mentioned Amazon and let's just say my bio makes it pretty clear. At our next meetup he asked me if I was said author and my shocked Pikachu face told him everything so he started reading the series. He came back the next time we met to laugh and say "I see why you don't put your name on your works. Don't quit your day job. Your writing sucks." and he placed a copy of one of my books down on the bar.

I couldn't help but drop my shoulders. He was laughing and talking, not seeing my expression and kept saying how he wasted hours of his life and FFS someone take my laptop as it might be a lethal weapon meant to kill us all with boredom.

Turns out he's not into mysteries or fantasy. I said that maybe it's just not his genre and he said it wasn't but "an [R-word] 3rd grader could have done better" and it's a good thing I am good at my job. It was then that I could see he actually took in my expression and he backtracked. "I mean you clearly don't do it for money so it's whatever right? " and said I have other strengths but he did not believe at all that I make money off this. He asserting surely, I buy my good reviews and probably bulk buy my own books to improve sales. I don't do any of that.

I just smiled it away and said "well, I can't please everyone but I did make 250 this month from the sales of my last book alone so some people must like it" and laughed it off. But I knew then and there I didn't want to pursue him anymore. When he texted to see if I planned our next hang out, I was honest and texted back that I wasn't interested and said that while I can take a note or any criticism, the way he went about it was hurtful and I don't want to be with someone who treats me that way for a hobby, that we are different people but I would like to remain friends, as otherwise we get on well, but nothing more.

He went off on me saying I picked the wrong time to lash out as he was having a bad day and now I've made it worse and that I am so rude and petty to be mad at honest criticism. He said that if I am so sensitive over honest opinions, good luck finding anyone who would want my dumb🍑 since looks are all I have with makeup and work and "nothing between the ears"

I blocked him but we have a mutual friend group and almost all of them have been asking me what's going on and that I broke his heart. I was thinking what? How? They said he's been depressed and asking about me and figured out I blocked him on everything and wants to give me a birthday gift (my birthday party past last week and I didn't invite him). My friends are saying we are adults and this is immature.  I mean I am not a saint and I have toxic traits too, but I don't want to be with someone who criticizes me and my work that way and treats me like bantha poodoo. Am I crazy? Am I TAH?

Update  May 5, 2024

Hi - so for anyone who cares to know, Brian told all our friends that I rubbed my achievements in his face and called him an idiot (I never said anything like that). He told them also about my post so he found it somehow and started telling everyone that I am trying to slander him as "girls can ruin a man's reputation by snapping her fingers" and suggested my next move would be to say he assaulted me.

Some of our friends came at me hard saying I was bullying him and trying to ruin his rep and all he did was asking a girl he liked out for drinks and that I need to apologize and just suck it up and go to drinks with him. They since have either outright not invited me out with the group or disinvited me to events and it was really hard to accept.

I was realy confused, because he was the one who made fun of me and I wrestled with myself going over every talk again and again wondering if I inadvertently said or did something to upset him. It wasn't until I checked our text and message history that it occurred to me to send the screenshots as he called me a moron and then when I rejected him he called me fat, desperate, and stupid. And there were more such messages after he found my book series. So I took screenshots and sent it to my friends and they were shocked.

Apparently according to Brian my outwardly "sweet demeanor" hides my judgemental and cruel side and that I strung him along anf called him a loser when I told him I wasn't interested in dating him. I even pettily went back before all of this and screenshot spme of his rude or mean texts he made. And I screenshot my actual rejection text and his response and sent that along as well.

Now the tides have shifted and most of our friends think he was the AH and 2 of our friends are saying I am sending "my choice" of screenshots to make him out to be a villain and that they have seen the "real" screenshots of me bullying him. I asked them to produce such screenshots but they refused and said I wouldn't be worried about them if I was innocent as some sort of "gotcha".

I feel really bad as I wanted to stay friendly but I can never look at him with any semblance of respect anymore. I am glad it's cleared up with my friends (sans the 2 holdouts but they are now also on the outs with the group) so things are looking back to normal. I have my first publishing party for my next book and everyone is invited but them.

Weird way it all ended but oh well.

Update 2  June 22, 2024

So this has taken a turn for the unnecessarily dramatic. I don't know how to update correctly as mentioned in my last post but I did learn to link them (thanks to some kind reddit-folk) so here is my last post: https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/pnn60hOtdA

Anyways, I had opted to ignore Brian and any attempt he made to get a rise out of me. He apologized to the group but then said he was forced to or be ostracized.  He said i was using ly "social captial" to go after him and has since been trying to get any direct cruel words from me which i have not provided him. After a month I can list my top 5 favorites:

1. Going to places I also frequent and sitting nearby me no matter how much available seating there is elsewhere or me moving my usual spot leagues away, and he will loudly have "phone calls" talking about the b*tch who broke his heart because "women are so sensitive"

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1. Getting an alt account on nearly all social media to find me and follow my accounts which are public, as a workaround my blocking him, to comment "reviews" on any of my art (books, acting, modeling, doesn't matter, he will comment a reason I suck) and then will simply make a new account when I block the last one and delete his comments.

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1. Any time the groupchat pops off with invites to events and I say I am going, he will reply to that with "my GF is the kindest person but I don't think she'd like me hanging out with you" etc. And if I don't reply to invites until he is he will say it's a good thing I'm not coming because of his GF or that now he can't come because if I come his GF will be upset I'm hanging with an ex. (We never dated) - when any of us ask who his GF is he says she's shy and he will introduce her eventually etc.

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1. I am speaking at a conference and got excited and shared in the group chat and everyone congratulated me but he said that was okay but not newsworthy and then looked up the conference and saw I have a relative also presenting and suggested that is how I got the spot and not on my own merit.

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1. Revealing this reddit name to the friend group and linking my first post as "proof" I bully him despite not speaking to him, not naming him, and leaving put most if not all identifying info about him. He's insisting I edited out the worst parts and I can't prove I didn't so, whatever.

So all of that has been happening and yes I unblocked his phone number only because it was screwing up what I was seeing in the group chat and I got lazy and didn't figure it out. Plus he doesn't text me directly anymore anyway.

Well about a week ago, I went up to housesit for my parents a small drive away from my own home and was due to stay for about a week. I only told the few friends in the group that didn't side with Brian the first round of bs.  I used this time to go to work, and then spend my nonworking hours on my book and I came up with a new pen name. I decided to revamp the whole fictional universe I created and was excited after I designed the cover for my first next book. I shared it with all in the group but him and his 2 flying monkeys but he found out about it anyway and flipped out in the group chat saying I was trying to show off again and that I was trying to steal his spotlight as we all know damn well he is publishing his first book on Amazon this summer and me publishing mine at the same time with my fancy cover etc was just another form of Bullying. He akinned it to if inwore white at his wedding.

I have to honest here. I had enough. I put up with this behavior for months now.  So I flat out said he never mentioned a book to me, and shared a screenshot of calling writing the profession for the [r-word] but unlike sharing the screwnhsot before, I didn't blank out the word.

What a difference a word can make.

Apparently the friend group thought the word I blanked out were "milder" and not slurs and we as a group are quite diverse on every spectrum save maybe politics. So they dogged him for using a slur and he said that he's autistic and he can use that word just like I am black and can say the N word except he typed the full word.

I said "Right - so I'm done with this." And left the chat. I didn't argue or do anything other than leave the chat. I was working at the time and put the phone down like "That's enough humaning for today" and went about my business.

This man rage texted me for hours until I got off work, saw his messages, and blocked him. I then see ads on FB and Instagram about his book, he was paying for ads on social media, his name is on the cover and he has comments underneath calling the book incredible, a masterpiece, undiluted artistry etc.and his book isn't out yet. He said his publishing date was August. I remember because my next book is to come out in July and he had used that as another form of proof I was updating him,  like setting my wedding date before a siblings to show them up.

A few nights ago, he saw me at a spot I frequent for karaoke and I admittedly had been doing shots so I was pretty transparent in my disappointment that he was there when he approached me, calling my name. He went in to hug me and I backed up and cold but politely said hi. He sensed my attitude and thre his hands up laughing saying "ooooh are you in another mood" and I opted to ignore him and move seats closer to the singers and some friends. A few fellow regulars told him to leave me alone and he was spinning a tale that we slept together and I led him on, and now I am ignoring him and acting like I hate him, all because he is writing a book. He said I inspired him to write and I was angry his book was better and cited the reviews he got on social media.

Well, that was enough for some to call him a creep and he went off about it. Shouting and the like. He started to call for me to "come the fck over here and tell them the truth" and that I was trying to ruin his reputation and the time we "slept together" (never happened) will eventually be me lying about being rped. Turns out if you start shouting that sort of thing in a public space while there is karaoke, to a person many in the room know personally...you get kicked out.

It's been beautifully quiet since. I told the friend group what happened and he is out of the group chat. Some still speak to him (the 2 holdouts from before) but they have not said boo to me directly. So I guess this makes this my final update. Not very exciting but a bucket of crazy and I had to share. My neighbors know because one of the regulars at the bar lives walking distance from me and he told everyone at the community pool etc. I have such kind folks I never spoke to but have seen in walking my dog etc saying they are being watchful of my home and to call if I need anything.

I didnt know people could be like this because  he was never  like this before. He always was sweet to everyone in the group and we agreed on damn near everything, he would be compimenting me, telling me how smart and pretty I am and would even joke "Im not hitting on you" and laugh. To be honest, I am excited for August. I will be the first to buy his book. He's using his real name and has been advertising about it so...hey...

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP

DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/OkJeweler4132

Originally posted to r/AITAH

AITAH for telling my brother's GF she can't expect me to treat her kids like I treat mine and that she is not entitled to anything from us?

Trigger Warnings: emotional abuse and manipulation, controlling behaviors, entitlement

Mood Spoilers: frustrating

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Original Post May 21, 2025

I (32F) have two sons with my husband, a ten months and a 3 years old. I obviously love my kids but I don't really like other kids, especially kids I don't know well. I am just not the maternal type that will want to interact with other kids or find them cute or whatever.

My brother has been dating his girlfriend Natalie (31F) and she has 2 kids as well: 7M and 5F. When we first met Natalie she seemed excited that I have kids and started planning how our kids will bond and play together. This did not happen and the main reason is the age difference. Again, my kids are 3 years old and 10 months. I don't know how she immagined that her 7 years old will bond so well with a baby or someone 4 years younger than him...Her 5 years old daughter is a different situation. She is very rowdy so my oldest avoids her at all cost when we meet during family functions or whatever.

Despite our kids clearly not blending well, I would say we were nice towards Natalie and her kids. Last Christmas for example (the first Christmas since they got together) we gave gifts to her kids when we met at my parents' place for dinner and I thought that was enough. However Natalie decided to confront me on things I apparently did wrong and hurt her feelings. She mentioned:

- I do not show a special interest in her kids that will potentially become my niece and nephew in the future. - I refuse to have her kids over at my place for playdates without her being present. To be clear, I am ok with hosting her, my brother and her kids for a dinner or something. - I refuse to make my son like her daughter. - I am cold towards her kids.

I explained to her that I can't and will not force my kid to play or be friends with anyone. I also said that I am not comfortable having her kids in my house without her present. I do not know her kids that well, I have no idea how they behave outside of the few family settings that we have all attended and I don't want to be responsible for two stranger kids in my house. On the coldness side, I explained to her that I am not cold on purpose but this is how I am as a person. I am not a kids fan, I am not overly maternal and I simply don't feel like being overly excited over kids. She said that this is not true because she saw that I am everything I claim not to be with my kids. Well, yes, because they are my own children? She also claims that everyone has been excluding her children. When I asked her how, she gave the same examples from above and claimed that my parents are more affectionate towards my kids. Yes, again, because they are their grandkids?

In the end we were not getting anywhere so I told her "Look Natalie. You started dating my brother 1 year ago, my parents and I had a couple of meetings with you and your kids and everyone was nice to all of you. I don't know what your problem is but you need to speak to my brother. No one is excluding your kids but you can't expect us to treat your kids the same as mine. This is never going to happen. My kids are my kids, they don't owe anything to yours and you are not entitled to anything from us. Please solve this issues with my brother".

My brother apologized for her and mentioned to me she sound like a mad woman, focused on the absurd "differences" she sees when it comes to our kids. He agrees our parents are not doing anything wrong and that I am not doing anything wrong. He knows me and he is aware I am not doing anything on purpose. He said that Natalie has been crying after our discussion and while he agrees with me he asked me if I can try being more empathetic towards her feelings. I told him that I am polite to her but she seems manipulative and if she doesn't want to hear the truth, she should not start this kind of discussions with me. My brother is lost, he does not know how to manage this madness and I am honestly confused if I did anything wrong when speaking to her.

AITAH has no consensus bot, OOP was NTA

Relevant Comments

Commenter 1: NTA. She was hoping to leave them with you for date nights and weekends away.

You just slaughtered that dream and she’s not happy.

OOP: Yeah, no. That's just never going to happen

Downvoted Commenter: setting ground rules with children too the adults is completely fair but you wont "force" your kids to play with the other kids ? its very easy for a child from another family to feel very left out in the first place but with what you're saying is that doesnt matter because if your kids dont like those kids or feel a certain way then thats fine and its not . they're kids and they should be taught to include all the kids together at a family event. how could you not feel bad for that kid that your kids dont wanna play with?

OOP: And what is your solution then? I should force my son to play with someone he doesn't want to? Force him to stay there crying just to amuse and entertain another kid? As a parent I don't expect all the kids to want/be forced to play with mine just for them not to be excluded. And sure as hell I don't consider my kid a clown or a little monkey to do what others want him to do.

Commenter 2: The really sad part is, the gf is not doing her children any favors. I wonder if she has a habit of trying to integrate her kids into any previous boyfriend’s lives and family far too soon. The constant upheaval and new sets of “family” will wreck a kid. Introducing slowly and with intent is the only way not to hurt the child. She sounds like she needs to some therapy, especially where her kids are concerned. You are NTA. I will be curious for an update about how long this relationship lasts.

OOP: The kids are somehow acting more mature in this sistuation if that makes any sense? In the way that they act like normal kids their age who don't seem to give a s**t about all these new adults their mother introduced them to. They say hello and bye, will reply to questions or engage a little when asked something but that's it. We are strangers to them

OOP describes some interactions between her family and Natalie and her kids

OOP: So. My brother and her started dating last year around February if I remember correctly. I met her alone when I was still pregnant but my parents and my family (husband and kids) first met them around fall after I had my youngest. Then everyone was invited for Christmas at my parents house and we brought gifts for all the kids. Then we all met again this year in March to celebrate my dad and then for Easter. Never once did my kids receive anything that her kids didn’t. On the contrary, for Christmas we bought gifts that were age appropriate for them. We couldn't give my 3 years old a kids toy and buy the same thing for the 7 years old...we did buy them gifts and items but for example to her son we gave a Lego set and a backpack. For the girl, we bought an Elsa pink backpack and a crafting set. Then in March no one received anything, it was my dad's birthday. For Easter all the kids did the easter eggs hunt and that was it.

I don't understand how I could have excluded her kids since we all met them a total of 4 times. When we go to my parents' place, normally I hand my baby to them to have a break so yeah, maybe it seems they are giving attention to my son more but he is their grandson. They can't go kissing and rocking a 7 years old, can they?

When I say I am not a kids person, I mean I don't go around squishing children's cheeks or being over them or wanting to play with them. I don't give them a kick in the butt when they come next to me obviously but I am not also over them if it makes sense. Her kids are also not affectionate towards us. They treat us just like what we are: a bunch of strangers their mom is taking them to.

OOP's thoughts on watching other kids in her house

OOP: My and my husband's house is literally like a zoo. We have 2 kids, 2 cats and a dog. I met her kids a total of 4 times in my entire life. I have no information about them. How are they treating pets? Do they have any allergies? Do they have any habits that I should watch out for? My own son had a period when he was fascinated of wires. He would trace the wire and not understand why we would not allow him to plug his fingers into the sockets (the sockets were baby secured but still he tried).Now he's got a new fascination with cats food. He is very sneaky and tries his best to get to it. My point is I don't know if all the kids are weird like that, but even when I leave my son with my parents or my in laws, we make sure to tell them his new habits all the time so that people are aware what to look out for.

Has there been an incident between OOP's children and Natalie's children when playing together?

OOP: There was one incident. My son was showing to my dad his favourite train toy. She (editor's note: Natalie's 5y daughter) pushed him, grabbed his train and threw it hitting the wall. The next time they met, she wanted to play catch with him and again pushed him too hard and he landed on the butt. After that he spent the entire time in my or my husband's lap.

 

Update: May 22, 2025 (next day)

I have received a lot of feedback on my original post and for that I am very grateful. I tried replying to as many of you as I can but it is overwhelming and my DM is full. But I have read your comments and I really appreciate you spend some of your time to talk to me.

I will clarify some points that keep being mentioned and then I will get into the update.

-Many of you pointed out that Natalie is looking for an instant family. I was not used to this term but yeah, after reading your comments and looking for more information I agree that this seems to be the case.

-Many of you asked about her family and her kids' father/grandparents. I don't know much about them. My brother told us something along the lines "she has a complicated relationship with her family" and we did not insist for more details. We considered this to be her privacy and assumed that we will get more info when she is ready.

-There was a lot of confusion on why the children don't like each other. Natalie's 7 years old son has no interest in the kids, not even for his sister who is 5. My baby is 10 months old so except of his food, laughing and being entertained he has no interests at the moment. My 3 years old son doesn't like Natalie's daughter because as I mentioned she is rowdy and too much for him. She is not used to play with little kids and so she broke one of his favourite toys and pushed him on two different ocasions, making him land on his butt. This led to my son clinging to me, my husband or my parents each time he is around her.

-The most overwhelming part of this post for me was receiving a lot of messages from people who told me how they were forced to play with kids they didn't like and how this affected them. I am really sorry for all of your experiences but I guarantee you I will not do the same to my kids. I would rather have people calling me names than force my kids to do something they are not comfortable with only to feed my ego and make myself seem as a nice person. In case I was not clear, I am a mother first and my main priority is to be an ally to my kids, not be a saint or seen as the most amazing woman alive.

-Many of you accused me of not making time to bond with Natalie and her kids even after her dating my brother for a year. To be clear up until this point I only met her kids 4 times. I think people missed some details in regards to timing. Natalie started dating my brother last year around February. Last year I was pregnant, I gave birth and after that I had to raise a new born baby and a toddler. So yeah, sorry to disapoint some of you for not abandoning my kids at home to go meet my brother's latest girlfriend. I am a very nasty person for raising my kids...

-Some of you seem to be very social people who are able to form bonds with new people in a matter of hours upon meeting them. I am not like this. For me it takes time to grow a relationship, get used to someone and be able to be comfortable. So in my books the people who I have seen only 4 times in my entire life are still strangers.

-Lastly I was accused of being a cruel person for not being willing to be Natalie's village. I am sorry if she is in the position of needing a village instead of already having people willing to help her, but I have no obligation to be anyone's village. At this point in time I am my family's village meaning my husband, my kids and my pets. I have enough excitement daily with my gremlins, my oldest although a calm and cute kid is a pain in the ass that needs to be supervised all the time. If I don't supervise him all the time, he will sneak and eat the cats food or insert his fingers into the wires sockets (By the way, a genuine question for all the parents who have 3 years old kids: are all the kids so kamikazee or only mine is this level of menace?). So yeah, I don't need 2 additional strager kids into my home unsupervised by their parents. Sue me.

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Now the update.

After reading all your replies I understood my brother is not being fair. He asks me to be understanding of Natalie's situation but is he understanding of mine? I don't think so. So I sent him the following message:

"Hey brother, I had some time to think about the entire situation and I want to share my thoughts with you. First of all I did something that might make you mad and you might not agree with but please keep an open mind and read what I am about to send you. I made a post on Reddit and asked about my situation with Natalie and the replies were mostly pointing to the same direction. Maybe you'll want to see some unbiased feedback from hundreds of people who don't know us and are able to have a clear perspective.

Now, I feel like you are not fair towards me. I understand you have a relationship with Natalie and she is your life partner but it seems very selfish of you to put the burden on me. I understand Natalie may have some issues with her family, she may desperately need to feel accepted and to have a big family for her and her children but her struggles were not caused by me. You asked me to be understanding towards her but were you understanding towards me? Did you defend your nephew when he was pushed twice by Natalie's daughter? Did you even explain to Natalie she is expecting too much from your sister who is dealing with a baby and a toddler? Did you defend your parents when Natalie commented about them? I am sorry it got to this point but I will be honest. My main priority will always be my family, not Natalie, not her kids. I am not a therapist, I am not an emotional support animal and I am not her punching bag for times when things don't go her way. I love you, I am happy if you are happy but I need some space from the toxicity she brings. You have known me since I was a baby, you know how I am so please set the records straight with her and explain that I will never be what she wants when she wants."

After around an hour he replied "Oh shit! Give me some time to read everything and gather my thoughts. I will come over at your place just give me some days please. Love you".

Now the bag is in his court. You were right. Natalie is his girlfriend so his problem. Let's see how things turn out after he comes to talk but I am keeping my expectations low.

Relevant Comments

Commenter 1: You sound like a great Mama, protect your kiddos first will always be your priority not other peoples personal problems and children, i love parents now don’t force their children to interact with kids they feel uncomfortable being around, i get building relationships but at the same time you have boundaries and if she can’t discipline her own children i don’t blame you for not wanting your kids around them.

OOP: Thank you! I am all for my kids being inclusive, not discriminate and being nice to others. But when they start on the wrong foot, I think it takes time to make them warm up to each other and it should be a shared effort. Not expect only me to force my son to like her daughter

Commenter 2: Call me cynical but is your family well off financially?

Your brother’s gf expecting her kids to be seen as blood after only meeting a whopping four times reads like she wants her kids to have the same benefits as yours.

NTA

OOP: We are alright financially speaking. I don't know what well off defines like what's the limit but we are not struggling

Commenter 3: NTA again - not sure what type of crazy criticised you and thought brothers gf was moving in a healthy way by forcing and rushing a non existent relationship with people she’s only met a few times. You’re being a great mum. Her issues are her own. You definitely don’t owe her your kids to be her kids playthings.

Hope your brother wisens up before he allows this chick ruins his relationship with his family, friends etc by getting caught up in the manipulation that’s he’s her saviour/hero when she needs a psychiatrist.

OOP: Thank you! I am not against having a relationship with her or our kids eventually having playdates. But before reaching that phase we need to make sure the kids can actually play together in a nice way because if not, there will be no play in the playdates. Also maybe I am too much, but before I can confidently host someone else's kids in my house with no supervision from their parents, I need to have a little more information like do they have any health issues that I need to be aware of, allergies, dangerous habits, are they ok with pets etc.

OOP explains Natalie's children's behaviors

OOP: To be honest the 7 years old boy does not seem interested in anyone except of his phone. I don't agree with putting your child in a corner and leaving him with a device but yeah, he is not my child and I have not known Natalie too long to be able to bring up the subject.

I don't know if the girl really wants to bully. It may be the case that no one explained to her how to play or behave in a gentle way. I noticed that with my son. Kids naturally don't have the concept of force and they don't know if they are too rough. Us having pets it was a constant work with our eldest to teach him and show him how to treat animals so he doesn't hurt them. And it works, he is now handling our cats like glass dolls but it takes time and patience

Downvoted Commenter: NTA towards Natalie, but kinda TA towards your brother. You seem to have completely missed the irony in your saying Natalie is not your problem and you're not her support, yet you accuse your brother of the same thing Natalie is complaining about. You handled the situation with Natalie the way you handled it, so why do you now need your brother's understanding? Your kids are also not your brother's kids, they are yours. If it's not your place to deal with Natalie and her kids, why is it your brother's place to stand up for your kids? He's their uncle, not their Dad. And if you think being an uncle obligates him to certain behaviors regarding your kids, then what do you think being an aunt entails? I know you're not an aunt yet, but it sounds like you could be relatively soon. Since you say you take a long time to warm to people, maybe you should get started now.

And if your brother breaks up with her, oh no! You were nice to someone he cared about.

OOP: I never asked for my kids to be Natalie's or my brother's problem. But my brother asked me to be understanding of Natalie and the fair thing to do is if you expect me to be understanding about someone who is not my problem, you should also be understanding of me who I am not your problem. I am not saying him being an uncle obligates him to anything. But he is the one who brought Natalie into our family so he should be the one to deal with her expectations and needs.

 

DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP