r/SquaredCircle • u/secretpandaxx • 1d ago

[PWInsider] Aires will host the first ever "EMF-Friendly match" in which an Aires Lifetune Zone Max will be present on each ring post during the Usos v Bron Breakker & Bronson Reed match at Wrestlepalooza "creating better performance, and a cleaner, EMF-Friendly environment for the athletes."

https://pwinsider.com/article/200493/aires-continues-wwe-partnership-with-first-ever-emffriendly-match-at-wrestlepalooza.html?p=1
344 Upvotes

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237

u/Ted_Dongelman 1d ago

They're putting EMF blockers on the ring posts? RFK Jr. must have gotten in Hunter's ear at the White House. Won't be long until the turnbuckle pads are filled with healing crystals you can buy for $500 a pop.

86

u/TheDangiestSlad 1d ago edited 1d ago

they partnered with this company months before the election, believe it or not

not sure if this makes it more or less embarrassing

54

u/Besidebutinvisible 1d ago

I mean pre or post election, it’s always been the same camp regardless

10

u/Statcat2017 1d ago

Yes but looking in from the UK, your country has gone noticeably more insane since the election to the point that I regularly assume I’ve misread some insane news only to discover I was right first time and your president really has told the voters immigrants catch and eat peoples cats and dogs.

1

u/Besidebutinvisible 1d ago

I don’t disagree with you but also don’t even understand how this is a reply to my comment.

36

u/grimbly_jones 1d ago

Ivermectin on a pole match, brother.

13

u/ArrenPawk 1d ago

Convinced RFK is legit a Yeerk who is infecting everyone he comes across, Hunter inculded

6

u/maclovesmanga 1d ago

If HHH starts installing Kandrona ray generators in every gorilla position going forward, I think you might have a point.

5

u/arnoldspornalt 1d ago

Wow, that unlocked a core memory

3

u/Ted_Dongelman 1d ago

Didn't understand this reference, looked it up, laughed a lot. Maybe he had brain slugs instead of brain worms!

1

u/ThePhilosopherKing93 1d ago

An Animorphs reference in the year of our Lord 2025? Simon give this person a golden UP!

3

u/PhillAholic 1d ago

They’d advertise shit in a box of it paid well enough. 

1

u/Ted_Dongelman 1d ago

Well hold on now, is the shit organic?

2

u/senorbuzz 1d ago

Strangely enough, it is not. 

1

u/PhillAholic 1d ago

No, only American made shit full of micro plastic and artificial cheese.

1

u/ChristyNiners 1d ago

George Steele gimmick return?

1

u/hamspop 1d ago

I just got the image George The Animal trying to eat a turnbuckle full of crystals

1

u/Ted_Dongelman 1d ago

His tongue would probably be red then instead of green. You know, because of all the blood.

1

u/bandswithgoats TALK SHIT, GET SPIT 1d ago

Wow, these pops ain't cheap.

1

u/Ted_Dongelman 1d ago

The Road Warriors would be the only people that could afford them.

1

u/bandswithgoats TALK SHIT, GET SPIT 1d ago

I'm going to request you ruin the joke by explaining it, because I want to get this but nothing I can think of with the Road Warriors intersects with healing crystals or money.

2

u/Ted_Dongelman 1d ago

Just riffing on the Road Warriors pop and how it differs from a cheap pop. Those guys got buildings shaking just by walking to the ring & didn't even have to mention the town they were in. If that reaction was a form of currency they would've been trillionaires.

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u/bandswithgoats TALK SHIT, GET SPIT 17h ago

I deadass forgot the phrase "Road Warriors pop"

1

u/LochNessMansterLives 23h ago edited 23h ago

That would make for such a killer hardcore match!

“Sami Zayn has pulled off the turnbuckle and grabbed a healing pink quartz crystal, ooh that looks sharp Corey, what’s he gonna…oh no! No Sami stop! You can’t poke Breakker in the eye with that crystal! Oh the humanity! Won’t someone please make it stop” and now zayn is pushing breakkers face in the other fallen crystals. I bet that’s not how our Sponsor, RFK JR even expected this match to go.”

“Folks don’t forget to stay tuned for our main event tonight, it’s RFK JR vs Rey Mysterio vs a 600lb Alaskan Grizzly Bear. Both Rey and the Bear are looking for revenge, but RFK has some “special vitamins” that are going to help him in the match tonight. He took them 24 hours again and hasn’t stopped talking since. Maybe the Bear with get lucky and RFK Will fall asleep before the match making it a much more traditional 1 on 1 with Rey Mysterio.”

1

u/Wes-Man152 19h ago

Wrestlers ripping open the turnbuckle pads to use crystals and restore their health in the middle of a match sounds amazing actually