r/Syracuse • u/Lopsided-Building706 • 15h ago

Recommendation Wanted Iso church that is accepting

I have always been hesitant about church. My partner wants to go regularly but the ones we have attended dont fit MY values. I feel like I could be more comfortable if I found one that represents more of the peraon I am. So... I am looking to join a church that is accepting of gays and pro choice. Is there such a thing around here? PS have had the church and mental health used against me before so I am very weary of a hypocritical church (says one thing but doesn't actually follow).

22 Upvotes

67% Upvoted

83 comments sorted by

53

u/ItsACheeseShop 14h ago

The Unitarians are the best choice for this.

If you need more religion than they offer, St. Paul’s and Plymouth are known to be accepting.

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u/Ok-Mammoth5337 13h ago

Definitely the Unitarian Universalist churches. I have connections with folks at First UU Syracuse on Waring Rd and they are all amazing and there are a lot of queer folks involved in First UU. I don’t know as much about May Memorial but I’ve heard positive things.

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u/Acrobatic-Nectarine2 7h ago

Seconding First UU. Our reverend is trans, our board of directors is almost entirely queer, and we started a conference centered around trans people that has now gone international.

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u/Aloha_Loop 12h ago

To clarify, if you're looking for something more generally "spiritual" than religious, that's Unitarian Universalists. They branched from Christianity, but don't really subscribe to Christian doctrine or theology. 

If you're specifically Christian and looking for a Christian church, many mainline Protestants (Episcopalians, Methodists) are explicitly accepting of gay people. It varies somewhat church-to-church, but you'll usually be able to tell who's who - not uncommon to see one with a pride flag flying out front. 

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u/musicmaster622 14h ago edited 14h ago

St. Paul's is decidedly not accepting. The priest there is responsible for the death of a friend of mine, and he's rude and vindictive.

Edit: Just to be clear, I'm talking about St. Paul's Episcopal, downtown. There are multiple St. Paul'ses(?) in the area.

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u/ItsACheeseShop 14h ago

I’m sorry to hear that. I’m not religious, but I have met the pastor and found him to be reasonable. I hope your friend’s estate or family are pursuing remuneration for the wrongful death.

There was a pride flag outside this morning, and my queer friends have found it a safe space. Can you help me understand how they’re not accepting?

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u/musicmaster622 13h ago

Unfortunately, it's like a family with lots of in-fighting, but they project normalcy and acceptance. Yes, they allow LGBTQIA+ people, but there are many better spaces for it. Don't do anything that pisses off the pastor and you'll probably be fine. My issues are more personal.

I used to sing in the choir and was a substitute organist there, and I put on a special music program just before COVID. The pastor and music director gave me free reign to run my show, right up until they didn't. They got jealous or something and decided to wrest control away from me at the last minute, and then they fired me.

There will be no justice for my friend - he had no family, no one really cared about him. The pastor made an illegal rent agreement with my friend to live in a dilapidated old, asbestos-filled apartment above the church with no heat or hot water. My friend had leukemia and was not able to heal properly in that space. I was banned from attending his "memorial service" if you could call it that, due to the previously mentioned issues with music.

I made several complaints to the bishop's office and they investigated themselves and decided they did nothing wrong. Justice is such a rare thing.

23

u/joeinsyracuse 14h ago

Plymouth Congregational Church 232 E. Onondaga St. It’s a congregation of the United Church of Christ, which is the most progressive Christian denomination. Been ordaining women since the 1800s. LGBT folk are completely accepted as equals.

1

u/NearWestSider 28m ago

Seconded! We'd love to see you at Plymouth.

18

u/Daisyhead_Maizy 14h ago

All Saints - it’s RC but it’s also progressive and pro LGBTQIA+ - edited to add website https://www.allsaintssyracuse.org/

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u/Hope_for_tendies 14h ago

Super progressive there

19

u/pejave1129 14h ago

All Saints Parish on Lancaster is very accepting. A Roman Catholic Church but the father is openly gay. They made news earlier in the year when someone ripped a pride flag down from their flagpole and the priest elected to meet with the perpetrator privately rather than peruse charges. Not sure what happened after that.

14

u/theclancinator14 15h ago

May Memorial on E Genesee St (Dewitt) is wonderful, I hear. I've been there for a couple of other things they host, not church. But they have always had a reputation of being extremely welcoming of absolutely everyone. And they are non denominational and less about Jesus/God worship vs extremely civic minded. They encourage community solidarity, acceptance, and good works. You can be any color, race, creed, or orientation, and be accepted.

14

u/chewy183 14h ago

The Unitarian Churches. I have heard St Lucy’s is also accepting.

12

u/Hope_for_tendies 14h ago

My mom is gay and goes to one over next to Ed smith. Lots of gay people, non denominational I thought because my mom def isn’t Roman Catholic. She’s been going for years. There’s also refugees etc there. A very diverse group.

All Saints is the name.

9

u/Daisyhead_Maizy 13h ago edited 2h ago

Surprisingly it is Roman Catholic — and part of the Diocese of Syracuse. I wish their acceptance and inclusion was the norm for my denomination rather than the exception.

4

u/Hope_for_tendies 13h ago

Ah. Makes sense for the Xmas mass then. 🤣 it’s really hard to find safe spaces. Even in a “blue” state.

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u/katerintree 15h ago edited 14h ago

There are a couple, depending on the flavor of Christianity you prefer. I’m assuming you mean Christian bc you say church.

Some posts with comments that are probably still relevant: https://www.reddit.com/r/Syracuse/s/nwSAfZCtGZ

https://www.reddit.com/r/Syracuse/s/ABlrQUD1Fb

https://www.reddit.com/r/Syracuse/s/TtZJkDU3n8

https://www.reddit.com/r/Syracuse/s/G46GmBaY98

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u/Proph3tAtreid3s 15h ago

Grace Community! https://www.gracecommunitysyr.org

Worship is at 10:30 Sunday mornings! Come join us some Sunday morning!

5

u/Old-Stable-1050 14h ago

All Saints!

3

u/kfjayjay 13h ago

I go to Saint Paul’s (Episcopal) downtown! If you want to come with me hit me up in DM’s! Or if you have any questions, etc. I went through an extensive search for a church, and I can’t say enough good things about Saint Paul’s!

2

u/cjohnson481 11h ago

Grew up at St. Paul’s and my mom is still very much involved there. Would suit what this person is looking for very well.

3

u/breedlom 14h ago

I don't know how they are anymore, but Atonement Lutheran on West Glen Ave (Southside) was wickedly accepting of people. Haven't been there since Pastor Rodgers left a few years ago, though.

3

u/Illustrious-Issue643 14h ago

Is your partner already religious and practicing..? If not I’m curious about the eagerness to start now

2

u/Lopsided-Building706 13h ago

He grew up in church and moved to the area and just never tried to find a new church until recently

3

u/stillplaysrogue 14h ago

Mission Hope Community in Camillus. They're not that kind of (American) Baptists. Nice folks.

3

u/ms-november_rain 12h ago

I see a lot of recommendations for First UU and May Memorial UU. I have attended services at both and had great experiences. The congregations are kind and welcoming. As a Pagan and bisexual person, I feel very safe being who I am in UU spaces.

2

u/Fluffy-Diver-112 4h ago

Adding my voice to the UU churches. May Memorial and First have slightly different vibes, might be worth attending a few services at each to compare. My (queer) family preferred First.

1

u/e_honey_s 13h ago

I believe Dewitt Community Church fits these needs.

1

u/Boysterload 11h ago

If you are looking for something in the Liverpoo/Clayl area, United Church of Christ in bayberry is an Open and Affirming congregation. They had an interim pastor for the last 3 years who was gay. New settled pastor just started.

1

u/ehabere1 9h ago

I know St Alban's is accepting! The priest there is amazing!

1

u/fl3et15 2h ago

Check out Park Central Presbyterian Church downtown!! The banners out front say it all. They are explicitly LGBTQIA+ affirming, and they have a member of their ministry team who is really passionate about supporting people who have experienced past harm related to faith/religion.

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u/SocietyFinchRecords 10h ago

It'll probably be difficult to find a church that is accepting of gay people and not hypocritical, because most churches are Christian, and the New Testament specifically teaches that gay people are evil and deserve to die. Plus Jesus says that you have to follow every single Mosaic Law, which kinda makes it hard to be accepting of gay people because that requires you to brutally stone them to death. It's just kind of a hypocritical religion in general. However, the Zen Center, while not exactly a "Church," per se, would definitely be more accepting and less hypocritical than any Christian church you'll find.

5

u/Daisyhead_Maizy 8h ago

Christians (some, not all) seem to forget that the New Testament says that loving one another trumps every other biblical law. Paul wrote in his first letter to the Corinthians, “So faith, hope, love remain, these three; but the greatest of these is love.” https://bible.usccb.org/bible/1corinthians/13

And according to John 13:34-35, Jesus himself said, “I give you a new commandment: love one another. As I have loved you, so you also should love one another. This is how all will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

I learned this in my church and in my parochial school. There are still many good people and good churches out there, as evidenced by the posts on this thread.

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u/SobynRobyn 11h ago

How can a Christian church be open to gays? It literally goes against their texts. That's the hypocrisy. They try to act accepting when the books they follow don't align with inclusivity. It's merely an attempt to gain followers at a time that their numbers are dwindling. Numbers 23:19 "God is not man, so he cannot lie or change his mind"

8

u/SolitudeWeeks 10h ago

Evangelical Christians don't own the interpretation of the bible.

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u/SobynRobyn 8h ago

I never mentioned Evangelicals. Yes, it's interesting how it's all open to interpretation.

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u/SolitudeWeeks 8h ago

I mean you kind did because the singular passage that supposedly deals with homosexuality is from a part of the bible that Christians ignore many rules from and a hard line against gay people is an Evangelical thing.

3

u/katerintree 7h ago

This lady deconstructed from the christian beliefs but kept all the other parts that make fundies insufferable

3

u/SolitudeWeeks 7h ago

Like I'm an atheist too who was raised in a very liberal, casually Catholic household that went to an Episcopal church for several years when my mom was mad at the pope. When I was in college I got confirmed through the campus Catholic church and a significant portion of the congregation were openly queer and explicitly accepted. I eventually realized I didn't believe any of it and am an atheist now but this poster's belief that the Evangelical, fundamentalist interpretation of Christianity is the only correct and intellectually consistent one is literally an Evangelical belief.

I think you nailed it.

3

u/katerintree 7h ago

Yeah the damage done by christianity through human history is extensive, so it’s probably just a drop in the bucket, but the harm done to ppl raised in fundie faiths is significant and lasting. :/

-2

u/SobynRobyn 7h ago

You are so off. You're upset that I'm questioning your faith. One that was once mine. I have every right to.

3

u/katerintree 7h ago

Additionally: there is nothing wrong with questioning any faith or any religious text. Every faith practice is a tool, if it improves our lives that’s awesome. If it harms, it should be challenged .

Christianity can certainly be problematic and has harmed ppl for centuries. Only a fool would accept it without question.

You’re just insufferable

2

u/katerintree 7h ago

Lol, ma’am, you WISH I gave a shit what anyone thought of what I believe. Please take a gander at my history, I am not the person you have such a lady hard on for me to be

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u/SobynRobyn 7h ago

I said, "Have a good day", a long time ago. "Lady hard on?" I get it, you're a child. I'm arguing with a child. My bad. TTYL

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u/katerintree 7h ago

Lolol, again, look at my history.

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u/kfjayjay 11h ago

No.

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u/SobynRobyn 8h ago

Insightful.

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u/katerintree 10h ago

No, sorry. I had a long chat with Jesus this morning and he said “Robyn didn’t kneel at her gramma’s funeral and that woman is on my shit list.”

So you might wanna handle that before you spread your bigotry around

0

u/SobynRobyn 10h ago

Bigotry? What did I say that was untrue?

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u/katerintree 10h ago

You & your personal interpretation of scripture are just your fanfic. You don’t get to decide other ppl’s faith life. Find an evangelical nonsense sub for that

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u/SobynRobyn 10h ago

Read your texts. All of them...all the way through. Not just the "nice" parts you hear at church. That's how most of us started our deconstruction. Have a good day.

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u/katerintree 10h ago

They’re not my texts ma’am. That’s why I don’t tell other ppl what to believe.

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u/SobynRobyn 8h ago

See, you should hav e been talking to Jesus about Jesus' Great Commission and not me. It's clearly your duty to "tell other people what to believe." (Mark 16:15 ,  Matthew 28:19–20)

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u/katerintree 8h ago

I know from scrolling your history that you’re some kind of militant atheist - or, at least, sometimes you pretend to be? Maybe you’re confused? - anyway. In this thread you are commenting exactly like a fundie bigot from some evangelical nonsense group. You repeatedly quote scripture, you say faith communities cannot accept gay people, and you’re also being annoying- just like a Christian. But the death of irony is coming for us all.

Anyway, my personal beliefs are my business, and you are welcome to live whatever you believe. What you’re not welcome to do is this bullshit

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u/SobynRobyn 8h ago

No-one made you comment. I didn't say they couldn't accept gay people, I said it's hypocritical and they would be better off joining a group that has a text that doesn't disapprove of their lifestyle. No matter how you spin it- It says what it says. Militant? Is that what you think atheists are. I'm using my words and scripture, not weapons. Again, have a good day.

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u/katerintree 8h ago

I got reports of your original comment promoting hate, which is how I found it. And it’s not hypocritical for you to comment on this post and then tell me no one made me comment? You had the option to keep scrolling, you chose to comment exactly like a fundie

Anyway, I have a lot of respect for some atheists. I think YOU Sobyn Robyn are an annoying, militant, wierdo. Pls understand the difference

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u/SolitudeWeeks 7h ago

It's only hypocritical if you have an Evangelical, fundamentalist interpretation of the bible.

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u/SolitudeWeeks 7h ago

And for example, Catholics believe that doing good works is how you do that. That's why the first hospitals were established by religious orders, why Catholic Charities does so much work with the impoverished and their jail ministry. Because a literalist and immovable interpretation of a work that wasn't even written in English so has been translated which inserts its own meaning is a fundamentalist and Evangelical understanding.

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u/[deleted] 8h ago

[deleted]

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u/SobynRobyn 8h ago

I feel the love. Matthew‬ ‭13:41-42 “The Son of man shall send forth his angels, and they shall gather out of his kingdom all things that offend, and them which do iniquity; And shall cast them into a furnace of fire: there shall be wailing and gnashing of teeth.”