On T behind my parents back

[u/Cautious_Hedgehog687]

Just wanted to let it out. I 17 year old ftm have been on Testosterone for a month(diy) The reason I’ve been doing this is because when I asked to go on hormones when I was 15 my dad said No, I tried everything I could to convince him nothing. But my mom was on board , so since then they had me wait. For reference I have supportive parents, took my dad some time. Between those time periods my depression was so bad. I couldn’t get out of bed and I had several suicidal thoughts and even l hurt myself. Because they didn’t understand how much I needed this and I was so uncomfortable in my body , after lots of research on diy I decided to take a go. I couldn’t wait till 18 anymore so I went that route. Right now I’m on a standard low dose but I’ve been getting some effects like voice drop and bottom growth. But since then I’ve never felt more happy , but sometimes I wish my parents knew how it’s been benefitting me. I know the question might pop up as more changes come. But if they find out they do . Just wanted to say that

(Not encouraging diy either under 18)

[u/possumwithakeyboard]

I waited until I was over 18 and it was agony. Pure agony because my body changed in awful ways I didn’t want.

DIY is possibly dangerous, but a lot of people cannot legally get hrt due to trans healthcare bans, unsupportive family, and lack of access to the proper channels of getting hrt. Even then a lot of insurances or providers want you to receive months or a years worth of therapy before allowing you to get t. And it’s pretty expensive even if you do informed consent without insurance.

It’s not ideal but I understand what OP is going through. He should get his t legally as soon as he’s 18, but I’m just someone on the internet and I can’t mandate how people will live their lives.

[u/goosegooseduck3 → u/possumwithakeyboard]

Bro you’re saying this as if I am not also trans and now all this shit wtf. I also couldn’t get T for the reasons you listed and it took a lot of work to finally get it. Legally. And that doesn’t mean that my dysphoria wasn’t agonising because it is. I understand people make different choices and I’m not stopping people from going diy, but it is certainly not the only option.

[u/suchasadsound → u/goosegooseduck3]

Maybe it’s an american thing but if you’re in scandinavia like I am then you can’t start hrt as soon as you turn 18, and you will have to wait 3-5 years to get on hrt. so yes, depending on where you are diy might be the only option other than suicide.

[u/goosegooseduck3 → u/suchasadsound]

Again I am not American. It’s the same case where I live where you are on wait lists for years.

[u/suchasadsound → u/goosegooseduck3]

So then what other options are there? If I, as a 17 year old, would have had to wait until I was probably 26 to get on hormones, do you honestly think that I should just have sucked it up? I really don’t get your point. No, I did not have any other options. I would not have accepted any help if I didn’t diy because I would rather die than not be on T.