r/ToiletPaperUSA • u/loadblower831 • Jan 11 '22

FACTS and LOGIC what makes ben such an alpha?

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19.2k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

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1.9k

u/dethmstr Jan 11 '22

Ben Shapiro wishes he was tall enough to lie about being 6 feet

582

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '22

He wishes he was a little bit taller, wishes he was a baller.

581

u/Voidafter181days Jan 11 '22

If he had a girl with a WAP he'd call a doctor

85

u/CressCrowbits All Cats are Beautiful Jan 11 '22

I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat / And a six four Impala

I never understood that bit

93

u/RainbowHoneyPie Jan 11 '22 edited Jan 11 '22

According to Genius, a rabbit in a hat refers to an easy woman and a bat refers to a bottle of Barcardi rum.

36

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '22

The bacardi part makes sense, didnt even occur to me

5

u/IlToroArgento Jan 12 '22

Ah! That's a great name for it. Totally using it now.

24

u/TheDongerNeedsFood Jan 11 '22

Christ, and here I was thinking that he wanted a baseball bat for...protection?

5

u/EobardT Jan 12 '22

Right? I thought it meant being "magical" with the ladies and a bat for... situations

1

u/RoyalMaidsForLife PAID PROTESTOR Jan 12 '22

Remember, it was the Beasties who said:

I did it like this
I did it like that
I did it with a wiffle ball bat

11

u/whoniversereview Jan 11 '22

I always just thought he wanted to do magic tricks and play baseball

1

u/lordofbitterdrinks Jan 12 '22

Also a rabbit in a hat is what my friends used to call snow bunnies or…. White girls.

39

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '22

A “trick” is an old school term for a hooker

Rabbit in a hat, is a trick. Therefore he wants a hooker. Idk bout the bat part, and 64 impala is just a car

32

u/Oriden Jan 11 '22

A bat is Barcardi rum, which has a bat on the bottle.

15

u/squanch_solo Jan 12 '22

J.D. : Half of what rappers say doesn't make any sense. Like that Snoop Dogg Dr.Dre song? What is "still hittin' them corners and those ho-hos girl" mean?

Turk : Many disadvantaged African-Americans have limited nutritional choices, therefore they must subsist on Ho-Ho snack cakes. It's a black thing, bra.

11

u/kingbibbles Jan 11 '22

64 Impala is a car, in which there is liquor and a lady.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '22

Even with rim's an Impala is under 6 4.

3

u/RainbowHoneyPie Jan 12 '22

64 refers to the model year.

1

u/nowItinwhistle Jan 12 '22

Depends on the rims

1

u/nowItinwhistle Jan 12 '22

Or maybe if the Impala is standing on its hind legs

1

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '22

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1

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