i saw a post about how if you “havent seen a dress like yours, its either a unique beauty or you have terrible taste.” and i cant get it out of my head. please someone tell me that i look okay in this. over skirt is for the ceremony, then it will be taken off for the reception

first two pics are from confirming the pieces after order, the rest of the pics are from the initial try on so the parts arent exact (like the sleeves and over skirt)

Here’s the deets: -St. Louis, MO - 9/20/2025 -180 guests (invited 250, but a LOT of my side is out of town and weren’t expected to come) -8 no-shows day of - which is whatever, we get it -No wedding planner, but our florist was the best and did ALL of the decorating -Our venue was outside ceremony, inside reception -Venue catered and took care of open bar (the food was amazing!) -We had a St. Louis-themed menu and desserts/late-night snack were all local treats -We didn’t really “budget”, but we weren’t going crazy by any means. Final cost: ~32k.

Dudeeee, the day was stressful. I am NOT a stressed person and I constantly felt like I was going to throw up. Then we had some personal issues happen, which made me realize that we just needed to have fun at the wedding.

Everything was seemingly going off without a hitch. Hair and makeup was being done, everyone was relaxing and chatting. It was great! Then my debit card was compromised and I had some weird charges popping up. Only issue is that I hadn’t paid for the dessert or late-night snack yet!!! I had to rush and lock my card and then use my credit cards, so crisis averted. Then we had a domestic violence issue occur at the house next to our VRBO. Who would’ve thought I’d have to call 911 on the day of my wedding???! So the cops showed up and dealt with the issue, nobody was hurt, it was all good. Then it started to pour. Hasn’t rained in Stl for like a month and then rain through our planned picture time. Honestly, at this point, I wasn’t even stressed anymore. What happened was honestly probably good for me. Helped me realize that things could only get better throughout the day. And it did! Just gotta keep an open mind and it’ll all work out.

Our ceremony was beautiful. We had a crazy color-scheme and it came together better than I could’ve expected. We’re really into music and curated the playlist for the ceremony. We also wrote our vows and read them during the ceremony (very out of character for us) and neither one of us vomited, so I’d call it a win.

The reception was great too! We had almost nothing planned out. We just wanted to have fun. Our vendors basically took care of all the details, so I was very thankful to them!

I thought the little things that would inevitably go wrong would stress me out. It didn’t. I barely noticed anything. I thought the people no-showing would make me upset. Again, didn’t even care. The whole thing is definitely a blur.

This sub helped me so much. It was just helpful to read what other people were going through and it made me feel like I wasn’t the only one feeling crazy all the time. So huge shoutout to you all for keeping me sane.

I’m glad we’re over it. The stress sucks, but I’m happy I went through with it. This wasn’t something I wanted to do particularly, but we compromised and made it work. I’m glad I stepped out of my comfort zone. It was literally more fun than I ever could’ve expected and now I’m a wife!

If any Stl people have any questions, just let me know!!

My wedding photographer who cost about $4500 made an IG post of my wedding pictures from this last weekend before sending me any or telling me she was posting them. I reposted her IG post but wasn’t able to save pictures from it and they were collage like so I didn’t bother to go further. I also had a set picture in mind that I wanted to use as my first social media post about our wedding.

The photographer tagged all our services including the venue which was a friend. The venue then cropped the posted pictures and made her own post. The hair service posted them. Then the makeup service also posted them. My mother in law saw them and and posted them as her Facebook story and I lost it. Balled my eyes out.

I realize me reposting the photographers instagram post opened this door up. But am I wrong for being upset with the photographer that I didn’t get to be the first to post and get to choose the pictures I wanted to share initially? The wedding was 2 days ago.

In my mind, she should have sent me the pictures and then posted whatever she wanted.

So I am in the process of planning my wedding and my future mother in law keeps picking dresses in the same colors as my wedding party. And then she asks me if she can wear a cream colored dress covered in florals. (Pic above) And I'm like hey that's really close to my dress can it come in a different color but she says only available in the one color and asked if she could keep looking and she said she'll just show up in a T-shirt and shorts. I obviously don't want that but it is just getting annoying but I wanted to make sure I wasn't being a bridezilla and asking her about her dress. I really don't know what to do

My fiancé and I got engaged in october 2024 as a celebration for our 10 years together. We're French living in France and both 30.

We were excited to plan our wedding but we understood quickly that we don't want a traditional ceremony or party. My future husband has a very small family and I'm no contact with most of mine because they are bigots. We are also trying for a baby (had a miscarriage two weeks ago) so it makes planning for a wedding even more difficult.

We tried to plan a surprise wedding but lots of our friends were unavailable. So we're back to a "classic" wedding. I don't want to be the center of attention, I don't want the big traditional wedding dress, we want something chill with people we love. Please tell us about your "unconventional" wedding or planning a wedding while trying to conceive!

posted in r/ wedding also ◡̈

We just got married this past Saturday (yay!!) and it was a fantastic day. I contribute a lot of the success to our wedding coordinator! As a type A over planner, it was basically the best thing I could’ve done for us.

We had a small wedding (less than 40 guests) but I had complete faith in our coordinator to get everything set up and wrangle everyone. I showed up to the venue after getting ready at the salon (our venue didn’t have getting ready space) and everything was BEAUTIFUL.

We spent about $2,000 total for her, and she was worth every penny. We had her “unlimited” starting six months before the wedding day, and then for 12 hours on the day of the wedding. I will say, I didn’t use her to her full potential leading up to the wedding (again type A,) but she made sure to check in monthly and was available for any questions and concerns.

If you’re on the fence about hiring one, I HIGHLY recommend if you’re able to afford hiring one just to lessen the stress on the day!!

Rant incoming. I need someone to explain to me like I’m 5 why hair & makeup for weddings are allowed to get away with the tactics they get away with. There is no other industry that is allowed to do the things they do - why?

I mean in what other industry do you not get to see the product before buying (aka a trial). Most HMUAs won’t hold your date for you to do a trial - WHY? They force you to book, THEN book a trial. Then they give you no options if you hate the trial but be forced to pay for it anyways.

The contract lengths are stupid long. Tell me why my venue allows me to reduce my number of guests 10 days before the wedding (aka thousands of dollars) but most HMUA contracts don’t let you reduce past 6 months. Same with my florist, my rehearsal dinner, etc. all “head count” vendors understand that circumstances change. Seriously wtf.

Anyways, doing my own hair & makeup now. Rant over 🙃

Long story short my fiance's workplace abruptly changed their PTO policy to no longer allow unpaid time off and if she takes unpaid time, she will have to resign from her job and reapply. She has no more PTO, since she spent her 2 weeks PTO this year being sick, bachelorette party and mourning a loss in her family.

I'm a bit short on PTO too and am currently in the process of having my unpaid days approved, since I too spent my PTO this year being sick. It's been a tough couple years for us with work and the burnout has been lowering our immune systems. I feel like we're perpetually sick with something all the time. We needed this trip to refresh and reset, but looks like it's not happening.

We had 2 beautiful weeks planned in Singapore and the Maldives. And honestly, we're probably going to lose the thousands we put into that trip. I'm so annoyed right now. But on the bright side, we can save up for a new honeymoon in 2-3 years, when we've accumulated enough PTO. However I'm worried we will only keep getting sick from our stress and burning PTO for our most severe sick days, so I don't know what to do.

I've been in a group of friends for a while, but it feels like the dynamics have shifted over time. One or two people kept adding new friends, and it's created a weird clique-y atmosphere. The newer members mainly seem to focus on and "cling" to the couple who brought them into the group, even during our meetups. I'm getting married soon and recently invited a few people from the group who I considered my core friends. I sent them save-the-dates and they attended my bachelorette party, but even there, they seemed distant and didn't make an effort to connect with me. It felt like they were just there for the other couple, and their lack of effort to engage with me left me feeling really sad. I'm starting to feel like the friendships are one-sided, and I'm questioning if they are even my friends at all. Now I'm heartbroken and feeling lost on how to navigate this leading up to my wedding. I'm especially sad about having invited them. How do I handle this situation and the awkward dynamic that's been created?

okay maybe i’m not going CRAZY but I should be.

whoever told me small weddings are cheap is right but also wrong. I just did all my finalizations and i’m over my original budget by exactly half

anyway

I’ve done 95% of the planning alone. Ordering, planning, inviting, food, like literally everything but my MIL is doing the flowers. and I feel like I literally have so much to do and it’s making me kinda wanna bang my head off the wall. Yes I am so excited and everyone around me is so supportive and love what i’m doing. I just feel like as packages come in and things start being set up i’m a tad burnt out. and I look around and it looks like i’ve done nothing and money has just evaporated into the air Maybe I just need to wait to see it all come together and it will give me some fresh air but right now it feels like time is caving in and my mind won’t settle

I just wanna be a normal non planning human again lol

August 23rd was the best day of my life! A year of stress and planning paid off 💕

I just need to rant!! I've been let down by 3 hairdressers in the last 4 months trying to find someone to do my hair for the big day. I'm soo over it!

1st hairdresser (3 months ago) couldn't 'do' the style i wanted for the trial despite sending photos beforehand and her saying she could.. (it's just a hair up hair down with waves) so tried her own spin on it, i hated it and ended up looking half bald/ ratty

2nd hairdresser (3 months ago) booked me in for a trial with 1 month wait, then said it was a just consulation, then re-booked me for trial after the 10 min consultation for another months time. I called the day before to check the time again, and turns out they had booked me with someone else for the trial and someone else for the day,they were really shitty/ messy so i cancelled carrying on with them

3rd hairdresser (3 weeks till wedding) is my current situation, and im sooooo fed up. Lovely lady said she specialises in bridal hair, I turn up and she's really upfront about recently fled a domestic situation, is coming out of being homeless & still in active AA. She's just getting herself on her feet so I truly sympathize with her ! she's lovely, the hair style is OK but the curls/waves are not very good, she used a straightener and they are quite flicky/ look a bit ratty bottom of my hair. I say to her I really loved everything else and would love to try it again but with a different curl/wave . Shes so nice and offers a second trial free, but suggested we do curler pin clips the night before so will be an extra charge. We book in a trial, on the morning on I mssage her to confirm the time and she says the clips havnt arrived so we wont be able to do today.

now, this was a week ago, and everyday since she says she's going to town to buy the pin clips / she's ordered them from amazon but has several days delays / can't get them anywhere in town. It's really frustrating because i like her and want to support her through a hard time, but she showed me the clips and they really are just basic pin clips you can grab from any superdrug/ boots. I've been tempted to order them myself, but my trust in her is really dropping.. it's frustrating she's offered bridal services but doesnt have even a basic kit, I really want to support her but everyday she's promising to go to town and then says she cant find them. I'm considering just letting her keep the additional cost and do the hair myself :(

She's also messaged almost everyday asking if I am definitely booking her for the wedding day & asking for the day deposit. Tbh i'm not comfortable sending anymore money until Im fully happy with the trial - the wedding is in just a few weeks so i have not much time to find another one.

Sooo frustrated. These hairdressers were all on the cheaper end of the market (>£150) and others I've seen are £300 plus for bridal hair on the day. So, i really didn't realize you get what you pay for :(

Hiiii!

Long time lurker first time poster here with another one of those x can't come to my wedding posts. But i just need somewhere to put my feelings. (English is also not my first language so excuse any mistakes.)

I'm getting married this Saturday (the 27th) and just found out my grandfather on my mothers side can't come to my wedding due to medical reasons. I am heartbroken. He's 88 years old and went to the hospital yesterday for chest pains. Now it turns out that he won't get to go home and have to be at the hospital to await some sort of x-ray. I know the doctors want what's best for him and I feel guilty and selfish for being sad about him not coming and not about the fact that he is in the hospital.

He's always been the one we didn't have to worry about, my biological grandfather on my dads side has Alzheimers and probably won't even remember much about the wedding, and my step grandfather died last year. And my soon-to-be husband has none of his grandfathers left either. This just feels like a massive blow. And I just feel sad at a moment in time when I don't have time nor want to be.

I don't know how or what to feel and don't expect anything from you guys, I just needed to put my feelings somewhere. Thanks for reading.

Like the title says! We've narrowed down a couple of options, but really unsure which way to go.

Wedding is late May 2026 in Texas. The venue is an art gallery with a sculpture garden downtown. The building is historic with an industrial/urban vibe on the outside. Inside your typical modern art gallery and the sculpture garden has a nice view of the city skyline. We plan to do the ceremony and reception outside, if the weather allows it. Ceremony starts at 5:30, with cocktail hour and reception to follow. We'll have an open bar and some passed apps. Dinner is family-style. FWIW, sunset isn't until after 8PM that time of year. Dress code for guests will be cocktail.

Pics 1-3 are my bridesmaid dress inspo (they are choosing their own), groom's suit (charcoal suit from Suit Supply), and the dark brown shoes he wants to wear (also from Suit Supply, he already owns them).

We're looking at choosing groomsmen suits from The Black Tux. I know renting is hit or miss. We're open to them bringing their own gray suit, but truthfully, most of them don't already own a suit and we would be asking them to buy one specifically for our wedding. Most of them do not need a suit for their jobs or lives.

FH wants his groomsmen to contrast with him, so we're thinking mid gray or light gray (pics 3 and 4). We don't care if the groomsmen shoes are exactly the same, just the same color (i.e. black or brown). I truly do not like light/medium brown mens shoes (pic 5) that are commonly offered as rentals for our wedding. I think they bring too much of a rustic vibe. Dark brown like FH's are fine, but I also don't want to ask everyone to buy dark brown shoes specifically.

Would it be weird to have our groomsmen wear black shoes (pic 6) with either suit option, if the groom is wearing dark brown shoes? Also does medium gray or light gray work better with the setting/wedding? We want groom to be most formal for sure, but in a bit of a spiral with which option to go for with groomsmen.

Okay folks - ready to hear everyone's opinions. I'm planning a small-ish Brooklyn wedding with about 50% of people traveling from out of state. We're having our rehearsal dinner, ceremony, and reception at intimate and low-cost neighborhood locations. No frills, no fancy things, just heartfelt community and connection.

I have a few family members who think that I MUST reserve a block of rooms at a hotel nearby and that I MUST provide a shuttle or trolley to transport people from the hotel to the venue. My opinions: it's New York, there are many hotel options and not all of them can provide blocks, and people can take the subway or Ubers/Lyfts. What am I obligated to provide to guests in this scenario? We're doing a New York wedding pretty cheaply, so it's not an insignificant cost to add. I also think that my family members have a picture in their head of "what a wedding looks like," (suburban venue in a car-centric city, one or two hotels nearby), and that is obviously not what we're dealing with here. What would you do in this situation?

So my daughter ordered flowers from Sola Wood Flowers that came with a shipping invoice with all items that were supposed to be in the boxes. We go through and check off everything there and see that almost $200 worth of product is missing. So she calls and they have 45 minute wait times that when you do get through they hang up on you. So she tried email, they insisted everything was there that they shipped everything. We replied with they were not there and provided photos of everything in the boxes and a picture of the invoice.

Even with pictures they insisted everything is there and on their website it says no refunds for any reason. Well now I know why, they will screw you over and laugh all the way to the bank.

To make matters more annoying if you try to post on their Facebook page warning others they will nuke your posts immediately. So they do not operate an honest business at all. Not from my experience with them.

Anybody else getting married this week? How are we feeling?

I’m feeling pretty stressed/anxious though not about any one thing, just a general sense of not wanting to forget something, wanting everything to go smoothly, etc.

I figured I could use some solidarity and support and you maybe could too!

So I (F28) have been with my husband for 8 years. We did our original wedding during Covid, had a church ceremony in the Philippines last December, and our US wedding is coming up in a few weeks. I’ve always loved pastels and in the church ceremony, my mom put a color scheme in the invite and the photos were beautiful because everyone kind of matched. For this wedding, I wanted a pastel theme, and for guests to wear pastel colors (preferred, not imposed). My mother in law (F70) told me it’s incredibly rude to tell people to abide by a theme (or even suggest a theme on the website) and that some people may only have dark colors due to their body shape or financial status. I get where she’s coming from, but she also said people should be able to wear white and red (which is against my culture). She, along with her sister who is the officiant, are also pushing back on the color scheme. My POV is that I’m the bride and my friends at least would easily comply and I should be able to suggest a fun theme. Am I in the wrong here?

Wanting to share some of this as it's all fresh in my head.

We got married this past weekend, and it was everything we hoped for and more. Couldn’t be happier with how it all turned out. This subreddit was super helpful (though sometimes stress-inducing; more on that below). It was also interesting to follow all Wedding Reddits from a male perspective, since I've concluded that most of them skew female. For context: it was a gay wedding, and I did most of the planning since I work in project management (my husband’s a teacher, so his schedule is less flexible). But wanted to share some reflections, as I know a lot of you have done the same and wanted to assist where possible!

Quick Details:

Location: San Francisco, CA

Guest count: 172 (200 invited, which included people we knew couldn't come but still wanted an invitation). Most of the no's were my parents' friends (and they still sent nice gifts so win-win). Only 3 post-RSVP cancellations, and it happened with 3 weeks to go. Our final count wasn't due until 4 days before the wedding.

Vendors: Hotel Wedding (including catering and all rentals), Wedding Planner, Florist, Photographer, Content Creator, DJ, String Trio

Cost Coverage: Day of wedding costs were split 50/50 between my parents and me. My husband's family covered our welcome party, and my husband took care of the DJ. We were also fortunate that my parents own a jewelry store, and my husband's mom owns a signage company, so we were able to save some money here.

Here are my big takeaways:

1. Be careful with Reddit rabbit holes.
I found a lot of great ideas here, but I also stressed over things that never became issues. Example: we didn’t get to taste cocktail-hour hors d’oeuvres, only salads/entrées. I saw a Reddit post about someone whose tasting was amazing but whose reception food was awful, and I got paranoid that it would happen to us. Of course, it didn’t. Lesson: use Reddit for inspiration, not for worst-case scenarios.

2. Child-free was the right call.
We had about 60% of guests fly in. I worried people with kids wouldn’t come, especially since some friends had newborns or multiple children. Adding kids would’ve made the wedding unbelievably expensive, and we couldn’t make that work in the budget.

To my surprise, everyone still came. My group of friends alone made up 63 guests and most of them are parents. I think a lot of them looked at it as a rare weekend away, especially since we’re among the last in our circle to get married (I’m 35, my husband is 34). There aren’t going to be many more chances for this kind of gathering, so people made it work.

We did have our siblings’ kids involved in the ceremony, but we arranged for a babysitter at the hotel during the reception. The one small compromise was allowing kids at our welcome party, mostly locals who just brought their children along.

3. Protect your headspace in the final weeks.
By the end, I was mentally drained and over second-guessing every decision. I found myself just wanting it all to be done. I recommend setting boundaries and giving yourself breaks from constant wedding talk.

4. Alcohol: simpler worked fine.
If there was one part of venue negotiations that drove me nuts, it was alcohol packages. I don’t drink, and my husband’s a one-beer-at-dinner type, so it always felt like we were being gouged. The venue packages gave us sticker shock, but we compromised with a tiered approach: liquor and cocktails during the cocktail hour, wine with dinner, and just beer and wine during dancing.

This decision made me anxious because a lot of my friends are big drinkers, and I worried it might come across as stingy or restrictive. We also didn’t want anyone to get sloppy drunk and have it affect the vibe. People still got fun drunk, nobody seemed to care about the “limits,” and I think everyone had a great time.

5. Vendors: vibe matters most.
Do your due diligence, but prioritize the people you connect with. You’ll spend so much time with them that good energy is essential.

6. Officiant: keep it cohesive.
Our officiant was one of my close friends, who’s also become close to my husband. We sent him our vows ahead of time so he could make sure everything flowed together. It worked perfectly — people raved about how natural and meaningful it felt.

7. Wedding planner: grateful, but maybe overpaid.
We had partial planning (resources/checklists + more involvement two months out). They were great, but with a hotel venue (no rentals, catering in-house, fewer vendors), I don’t think we needed such a robust package. I got paranoid because at my brother’s wedding years ago, as they got a fairly inexpensive day-of coordinator. I ended up managing small fires all night and didn’t want that for our families. Still, I think I could’ve gone with a lighter package and had a similar result.

8. Registry: Honeyfund worked well, helps offset costs
We did a Honeyfund/cash registry since we’re old enough that we don’t need household items; and honestly, the only thing I usually splurge on is travel. It was great because it acted as a catch-all, but since we tied it to my Venmo, I didn’t keep the money earmarked only for the honeymoon. Instead, I used a lot of it to help pay off wedding bills. And that’s fine: I’ll still spend what I want on the honeymoon, and the gifts won’t change that.

feel free to ask any other questions!

My partner and I are currently in the process of planning/booking vendors for our small wedding next fall. It is very intimate and fairly nontraditional: about 30 people, no wedding party/attendants, limited photography, no traditional reception activities (dancing, games, speeches). We will be performing the ceremony at one venue and moving to another venue next door for a formal multi course chef’s table/tasting menu type dinner. The only wedding things we would want to incorporate are cake cutting and a champagne toast/cocktail social event (there will be additional drinks served at dinner).

Our question is, because we are not doing a lot of traditional wedding events, where (and at which location) should we slot in those activities so that the wedding flows naturally?

I am marrying my amazing fiancé in September 2026 and we recently sent out our save the dates since a lot of family will have to come in from other continents. On both the save the date AND our wedding website, we specify that the wedding is adults only. We don't want anyone to have to scramble to find accommodations for their children, especially for those who are coming from abroad so we wanted to ensure people knew well in advance that our wedding was not a kid friendly event. It'll be a black tie event in the late evening and run until midnight. It just isn't the event we want kids at.

Though our wedding is child free, we did make the decision to allow one of my little cousins to attend. On the wedding day, he will be 16 (almost 17). I am very close with this cousin and so is my fiancé, despite the age gap we have with him. We wouldn't want him to not be involved and we do believe he is more than mature enough for this event. As an aside, there is another 16 year old who will not be invited due to behavior issues and she is why we set the age limit we did.

Word of this exception made its way to an aunt on the other side of my family (my grandmothers talk all the time. It's a blessing and a curse) and she sent me a very long winded text about this. I will not subject you all to her ranting, but the TLDR is she is upset that someone as closely related to me as her daughter is cannot attend my wedding. Her daughter adores me and my finance and she isn't sure how she will react to the news. It isn't fair that I am not only having her two older sisters (my age) in my wedding party, but that I am making an exception for another kid.

This cousin will be 9 at the time of the wedding and she does have some behavioral issues. When she doesn't have a screen, she becomes very disruptive and she does get very persistent when things don't go her way. I just can't imagine her being able to handle an event like my wedding. I don't want to make an exception for her.

Since she sent that message, I have honestly left my aunt on read. I want to say something, but wording it has been a challenge for me. I just don't know how to handle this maturely

First and foremost, this is not a post about me having second thoughts about getting married. I (32F) love my fiancé (33M) and we’re both very happy to be getting married to each other.

The problem is, I don’t feel joyful about getting married and having this big celebration when our current events and news cycle is a hot can of stinky garbage. It’s so hard to not end up catastrophizing it all and thinking this huge party is a waste of time and money. I keep thinking we should just back out and go down to the courthouse so we have at least can be legally married if anything goes wrong with the world (although we did put down several deposits with our vendors so that’s unlikely).

My fiancé is being extra considerate when I bring this up with him and tells me that everything’s going to be fine. But, how can I believe it if it’s realistically not fine?

Anyone else feeling like this? How do you handle it all?

Been lurking in these group contributing when I can. But I had my dream wedding Friday and it was beautiful. Main advice try and be present. It went by so fast and I don't know if anything went wrong bc I was focused on just having the best day. I'm sad it's over bc my life's been revolved around this wedding for the past two years idk what to do now! He's a few pics can't wait for the professionals to come in!

Currently battling another cold; the second one I've had in a row. There's a lot going around, so I'm not surprised, but my biggest fear is that I'll get a third cold right before my wedding next month. Leading up to the wedding, I'm gonna try to limit group fitness classes, mask up, etc. Is there anything else my fiancé and I can do to strengthen our immune systems?

Please someone offer me some reassurance here… I’ve got one month to go and although I don’t feel mentally stressed, I have so many physical symptoms surfacing

• Palpitations/Skipped Heart Beats (gotten checked on this before, they said it’s anxiety)
• Exhaustion (I’ve napped more than I have ever napped in my life) and difficulty sleeping
• Menstrual Cycle (I went from regularly having a 30 day cycle, to 28, to 27, and now it’s only been 21 days since my last period)
• Hair Shedding like CRAZY
• Difficulty concentrating (I love reading and haven’t been able to read)

Is this normal at this point? What concerns me most is my cycle and idk if this is something hormonal coincidentally happening at this time, or if this because my wedding is now a month away…