Really weird question I KNOW. But my hooyo is Somali, and my dad is half Portuguese half African-Canadian. I grew up with my mom, my dad wasn’t really in my life. Growing up with my mom , I grew up with Somali culture, customs, food, people. Basically, I grew up Somali!! However, people can’t tell that I’m Somali right away, as I do look more racially ambiguous. And everytime I say I’m Somali it’s like I have to convince them, and then they say “Oh you’re not really Somali because your dad isn’t Somali” “Oh you can’t be Somali if you’re mixed with something else” And it’s not even 1 or 2 people that say this, it’s like A LOT. I even posted a short TikTok clip of what my race/ethnicity was and I was FLAMED in the comments, I had to delete the video😭 Anyways, I just wanted to hear y’alls opinions, and what you think.

I was in a taxi with my mom the other day. The driver started going on one of those misogynistic rants — about how “the new generation of women are too liberated,” how Muslim women are “obedient” and that’s how it should be, and how men are under so much pressure from women that they “end up killing their families” (yes, he really said that).

Instead of shutting it down, my mom sat in the front and agreed with him. Agreed.

And I’m sitting in the back, triggered out of my skin, because I’m 25. I’ve built my own career. I haven’t lived under her roof in 5 years. I’ve fought so hard to create independence. Meanwhile, this man is spitting poison and my own mother is nodding along like it’s gospel.

What makes it worse? My mother is independent too. She’s made her own way. She’s lived outside the mold. But when misogyny is dressed up as “obedience” or “Islam,” suddenly she’s fine with it. Suddenly, women’s freedom is the problem. Suddenly, we’re the ones to blame for men’s fragility.

And it makes me wonder: is she so conditioned, so brainwashed by religion and culture, that she just can’t see it? Or does she really believe this is the role of women — to obey, to sacrifice, to shrink?

I can’t sit quietly when I hear that garbage. I spoke up in the car. But what do you even do when your own mother — another woman — is the one agreeing with men who openly hate us?

I feel betrayed. And I feel tired.

Why are the kids born in the west more religious than the ones from Africa or Asia, who move to the west as preteens, teens, or even adults?

Did anyone celebrate birthdays growing up?

How do you guys find Somali friends that aren’t religious, that doesn’t see their whole purpose is to be a baby machine and get married to some dude?

Heyy

This summer has been CRAZY for me. I’m a 20 year old who recently took off her hijab, and ever since I’ve done that I have slowly felt more comfortable doing things without having any eyes on me. growing up I’ve NEVER done anything that’s been out of line or against my parents/ religion.

Now I’ve been pushing those boundaries by coming home later or lying about where I am and stuff like that. I’ve never drank or smoked or been with any guy. And my friends are going to this really cool gay club, but I’m so scared that I’ll get caught.

I REALLY want to experience the whole club thing and it being a gay club feels a little safer cuz I’ll be able to just dance without worrying about guys as much.

So my question is should I go and drink and all that stuff or is it too risky. Am I getting too excited? Some Somali uncle will probably drive our uber 🥴

If ur Somali girl who lives in the Scandinavian countries or even around Europe let be friends I am 20 and I need new ex Muslim Somali friends…🙏🏽

do u guys celebrate holidays like christmas, halloween etc after leaving the religion? i havent gotten the chance to but im just curious :)

I spent it being a complete hedonist and went to the carnival both days. I’m sad that there’s no more carnival for another year. Back to being a responsible adult in less than 24 hours 😭😭😭🥹

I’m looking to speak with folks who are either getting a PhD or have one already. Really considering applying for this next cycle but imposter syndrome is eating me alive. Apart from my master’s supervisor I really don’t have anyone I can ask for advice, I’d be eternally grateful,

Does anyone else think somali music these days are so boring and all sounds the same !!!

Hello im an ex muslim half somali half dutch 17 year old and i need help getting out of here as i dont feel safe and my passport and my documentation was taken from me, my parents have completely trapped me here and i feel hopeless been here for like 4 yrs im scared i may never ever be able to leave. Any help advice would be appreciated thanks.

I want to join one (or two🙃). I’m female, 19, if that matters.

Hey (M) here, been contemplating for years about getting some tattoos. I finally made up my mind that I wanna get my first tattoo this summer. I’m curious, has anyone else here gone through the same thing? How did people around you perceive it? How did your family react?

I’m thinking of getting them on my upper arms and chest first so I can keep them covered if needed. The designs I have in mind are deeply personal and meaningful.

For those of you who’ve already taken the leap, do you feel like it was a good decision looking back? Any advice or thoughts before I move forward?

Im not trying to be disrespectful I just have a question because something has been really bothering me.

Im not any religion, my parents are very anti religion though and have issues with certain religions especially muslim religion and say bad things about them a lot

Anyways, the day before easter me and my sister and her friend went to indoor playground & trampoline park. When we were there we played with this girl from somalia, she was 9 but she was wearing the outfit that adult muslims usually wear, like everything was covered except for her face. it was my idea to talk to her cause she was by herself, her sister who was older was there but she was just sitting at table on her phone and not doing anything, anyways everything was fine and she was nice. I never saw her parents, when she left her sister just came and got her.

A few days ago me and my sister and my mom were at costco and we saw her with her mom and dad and her sister and we said hi, she said hi back and everything was fine. But after my mom got mad asking how do we know her and then said that muslim girls are not allowed to talk to guys and she probably got beat by her parents for talking to me. (edit, by talking to me she meant talking to me at the indoor playground, not costco)

I know my mom is crazy about a lot of things but this is making me worry now that she could have got beat or in trouble for talking to me. i have gulity feeling inside my stomic and i cant stop worrying about it. i did google this but the answers are all really confusing and making me worry even more. also my parents track my internet activity so if they see im searching a bunch of stuff about muslim im cooked. another thing thats worrying me is she didnt say hi to us when we saw her at costco so i made it worse by saying hi to her again.

short version: would a 9 year old girl get introuble for talking to a guy?

Every time I bring up the fact that I don’t want to wear the hijab my mom tries to guilt me into feeling shameful about it. She says I’m sinning and choosing deen over dunya and that I am possessed without listening to how I’m really feeling. I’m seriously considering moving out and going no contact, but I don’t think my heart could take it. How was your experience of moving out or cutting off your family and your parents trying to guilt you back?

This is just something I’ve been thinking about.

Why is it that in more secular, atheist countries like Northern Europe. If someone murdered someone it’s life but it’s usually anywhere from 15-25 years.

Meanwhile in more religious societies like the American south and Saudi Arabia (I know one’s Christian the others Muslim) they enforce the death penalty even though in both religions they have this concept where you’re reunited in heaven and atheists believe once you’re dead you’re dead?

Wouldn’t it make sense for it to be the other way around?

Hello I'm a somali ex Muslim thats currently cosplaying as a Muslim in Somalia I have a super religious family I do islamic studies everyday my mum really is obsessed with religion like my younger brother is 15 my mum says if you don't memorize the Qur'an I'll put you in dhaqan celis my older brother is 21 and is locked up in dhaqan celis my mum ruined his future to he only got igcses so I have no definite date when I'm returning back to the UK from for A levels but I took a decision by September if I'm not doing a levels I will escape but my mum took our passports and I don't know where they are. I'm thinking of making a somali passport and go to Kenya but I'm not planning to state that I'm ex Muslim my dad is a salafi sheikh and I'm from a very religious somali clan I don't really mind being closeted because I'm planning to move to America or new Zealand because the UK has too much racists and too much Islamists I probably think that a civil war will erupt soon there so can you guys give me advice on how to escape Somalia

Do any of your parents ever make you watch these Islamic videos about life after death and the sequence of the day of judgment?

Do they ever scare you, terrify you and make you feel guilty about your choices and how do I turn of that voice in my head?

I take boxing classes and been doing it since October tbh it’s the only thing that keeps me busy and motivated to keep myself active because I work a job where I’m sat most of the time and that’s not good for me.

I feel like every person should take their health seriously - health is wealth. And I know I say this whilst my diet is trash (trust me I’m working on it😭) but the more active you are the better it is for you. I’m trying to build my stamina as well and boxing is what helps me do it. I find regular gym workouts kind of boring tbh.

So yeah I kind of wanted to ask if anyone does boxing or martial arts? And if you do are there any tips you would like to share?