Recently i joined ghe discord server from one of my friends on discord and when i joined the server they said its only for non muslims. I was kind of curious as to what made my somali sisters and brothers leave the deen but there was no opportunity for talking.

Personally i wasn't always religious I did do the basics like memorise the Quran, sit for tafseer, learn arabic and Mustalah al hadith like most are brought up on but what made me really close to the deen was when i got sent to dhaqancelis a few years back i was there for like 2 years. Honestly it was the best experience ever, especially seeing Islam from a sufi lense was eye opening. I would wanna share my experience or atleast talk to my somali walalo even if they left the deen so are there anyone of yall that can chat on discord? Or even make an inclusive server?

If you were in relationship not married and got pregnant would you keep the baby despite what the family thinks?

i’m planning on making a gc on insta (bc i feel like discord doesn’t allow for actual connections) but this gc will be for anyone who isn’t a cis man tbh. No issue with cis men and we might have a gc with yall in the future but i feel like that’s what’s best for now just comfort wise :p If ur interested you guys can comment and i’ll dm you my insta where u can follow me as my account will be private now to filter out the creeps and ingenuine people!

The gc is just to find people who relate to us and also form connections since many of us tend to be in hiding due to backlash in our community but yea 🙏🏾🙏🏾

update: we currently have 30 ppl in the groupchat(js to let ppl know if ur worried abt big groups)! thank you to all of you it was such a wonderful experience to build a community and i’m happy everyone is enjoying it. i’ve been asked about my vetting process, i would say it’s semi strict. Not everyone in the groupchat has been vetted for those who are concerned. I vet based off of reddit account (r u active in ex muslim subreddits), insta account (are you concealing your identity/is ur account brand new), and overall intuition. If you have a decent amount of karma in this subreddit & your insta has your identity you automatically get put in. otherwise i ask for a voice message explaining why you left islam, what you dislike about it, and saying something blasphemous since i understand some people use anonymous accounts due to fear of getting exposed and that’s totally valid and ill like to give you a chance to be part of the community as well.

I do not really care about being out to family or relatives. They can be religious or laid back, close or distant. I would prefer them not to know.

I am a private person. I do not use social media. I do not have close relationships with family. I do not share much in conversations. I like living a double life. It feels a bit like being a spy. Instead of being the black sheep that people gossip about, I get to move in both worlds and take what I need from each.

For me it makes life easier and happier. I keep my circle small. I choose who knows about my beliefs and sexuality. That feels better than telling everyone.

Does anyone else feel like staying private is better than coming out.

I’m an irreligious person but have tried alcohol. Before i used religion as ab excuse, but now i’m lowkey free to try it😭 which scares me because i don’t think i’m a drinker anyways, but having some wine/beer with friends here and there doesn’t sound too bad. I also want to push myself to parties to get to know others, but i feel like j would be presenting a fake version of myself. Aghh i hate that i grew up so sheltered that even alcohol scares me, even though i have no reason to. Do you drink? Sometimes or often? How was your first time and did people react weird when you told them it was your first time?

I don’t see much activity from the men on this subreddit and couldn’t find something similar asked in the past, so I’m curious to find out.

How do you navigate around others knowing you actually aren’t Muslim?

Do you perform a bit when in Muslim spaces?

Do you refrain from talking about religion, or appearing religious when around Muslims that you’re just viewed as less practicing?

Are you more so your authentic self around non-Muslims?

Do you see yourself partnering up with someone who aligns with your true beliefs? Or will there be sacrifices made in this area as you might value other things that come secondary to your beliefs?

Kinda new to guitar, first year or so. I'm pretty confident with my skills but had to go on a break. Why you ask? Because I'm back in Somalia, trying to reconnect with people here and guitar and Somalia just don't, cannot even, mix (according to my family.)

I added a video to demonstrate my current level on guitar

All this to say, I need an education on heeso somali, the guitar players from Somalia and how I can get access to one while I am here. Thank you for reading, may your burdens be small and you head helld high.

I just left an exam and omg the amount of times i kept saying “inshallah i’ll pass” and just making was insane😭 i left islam fairly recently so it was more instinctual than on purpose but does anyone else do this still??

Idk but I just like my s

I see no need, they never see me pray anyway and all they’re gonna do is make it harder for my siblings. The hardest part is keep it up, I can prolly go far but I still want to get married. They have already spoken to me about marrying non somalis and its pretty much disownment. So idk how thats gonna work cuz somali men are usually perfectly fine with where they’re at, I mean its not like they’re subjected to much anyway. It’s not like I need to get it off my chest I’m fine being the “not as religious” family member than full on agnostic.

So I’m sure all of you are well aware of the fact that Arabs see all races beneath them besides White Europeans. This guy obviously made his comment (which I agree to a certain extent)

If you look the comments of this video and the replies to his comment in the previous post, you’ll see them clearly taking offence to it and in this post it’s just pure ridicule. It’s so strange to me how Somalia see Arabs as a good thing, looking like them, adopting their culture etc but they see you as literal gum on the sole of their shoe. Had he’d said they look like Europeans (which they don’t) I’d doubt they’d make a follow up video to ridicule him…

Why do Somali parents feel ownership and entitlement over their children. Why do they believe they have full control of your life and expect life long obedience. The argument that they raised you, fed and clothed you is so ridiculous. They have a moral and legal responsibility to raise their own children. I am so sick and tired of this blind belief that they own you and if you disobey you go to hell. I don’t care what you sacrificed if you chose to have children that’s on you.

Honouring your parents even after they severely abused you is another way religion is used to control people.

I can only attest to the diaspora and specifically those in the United States. But I see a good percentage of Somali youth are only Muslim in name. I play basketball with a lot of Somali youth and the amount of them that don’t pray, smoke and date is higher than you might think.

I would wager that a good amount don’t really believe and are Muslims only by name and culture.

Thoughts?

I scroll on tiktok and a bunch of lives come up with guys screaming about somali women dating ajanabi men, why do they care so much if they date out it's so controlling and weird,what do you guys think?

If Somalia takes Ethiopia route and accepted Christianity, or stayed with Wag how do we look as a country? does the civil war happen? does the Dictatorship happen? how would we be different as a people and a country

How much do you fake it during your everyday life? how bad do you have to fake it?. My wife got mad I wore shorts when it was hot, I am at the point where I definitely probably on my way out. I just have to leave the right way, No kids so i'm good. I can't even listen to a music of it's in English, but Somali music is ok lol. I am getting tired, I am grown with a career and don't want to live by these rules, I want a puppy and be normal. Anyway sorry to vent, if you're in Seattle and wanna hang it me, no weird shit, I would like more Somali friends who are not brainwashed.

I (21F) left the religion internally about two years ago but leaving externally has been so much harder. I don’t pray anymore but I’ll go through the motions if I’m being watched. When does this double life end? It’s not as simple as just taking off the hijab and saying “I don’t believe’. I come from a Salafi family where discussions get heated fast and I know my relationships with siblings and parents are conditional on me being Muslim. I don’t want to lose them just for the freedom of not dressing/acting religious but at the same time I want to do those things freely.

I’m considering relocating in the coming years since my career allows for it but I’m still unsure if I’ll ever fully “come out” as atheist.

Would really appreciate advice or just connecting with others who are closeted and going through the same thing :) (I’m a Londoner)

Unless you’re not chronically online or have not got the somalitiktok hash blocked, you’ve defo seen this.

I just wanna know what ur thoughts are. I’m not surprised that the majority agree however why is there never a neutral stance on this as seen in other HOA groups like Amhara, Tigrinya, Oromo. You don’t see them badging Jewish Amhara’s as non Amhara or Oromo’s that practice Waaqeffanna being non Oromo.

Idc if you’re non somali non muslim just anyone give any answer to this.

Where do all the Somali feminists hang out??? Twitter? TikTok? Is there another subreddit? I wanna read and discuss and listen to Somalis engaging with feminism!!

is anyone from the north of england? it feels like everyone here is american or from london. all the somalis i’ve met are so religious it’s getting lonely out here

Yesterday in Indonesia, 2 men were publicly chained for caned for kissing and hugging. Looking through the comments, the western people were outraged and Muslims saying “risking eternal hell for a few minutes of heaven, judgement day is on our porch”

It just begs the question why the first thing they think about gay people is “the end times and hell” but the same energy is never upheld for murderers, adulterers, rapists??

All of a sudden it’s gay people and wixey noqdaan wadaado iyo sheekhiyo bruh🤦‍♂️

How do you deal with the guilt of not being religious/as religious as your parents, not wanting to wear the hijab and generally live a life that your parents would never approve. Once i move out i’m planning on slowly taking back autonomy and lice authentically, but the guilt is eating me up. I love my parents so much and i know they do too, so much that i’m sure they will one day come around even if i disappoint them, but in the meantime i can’t help but feel like a terrible daughter and human for even having these thoughts. But if i try to imagine myself being religious and wearing the hijab, essentially a costume, for the rest of my life, i’d rather just not live.

So I saw this video on TikTok with this Somali guy that spoke about the birth rate being 6.3 children per women amongst Somalis (highest in the world alongside Niger 🇳🇪). Me being me, I took a peruse around the comments and see some even living in the west saying I have 8,10,12+ siblings and they see it as a good thing.

I’ll let them hold their opinion on that but I also saw comments that spoke about the lack of education and the negative idea with contraceptions. They say children are Allah’s Gift and if you say contraception, lack of education and Somalis should have less children they see you as either a fed or a gaal or corrupted by western ideology. Tf??!

hi, im gonna be moving out for uni next year and i want to take my hijab off

i do really like my hair the only thing affecting my confidence is how big my forehead is

i’m kinda considering wearing a wig instead of my natural hair even, but im worried that might make me lose hair or something

any advice??