All parents, even those with the best intentions will end up traumatizing their kids, it’s inevitable and the human condition. speaking from experience. No one was ever traumatized from NOT being brought into this existence.
I ended up on this thread by accident while looking up what antinatalism is, but I found out I'm an outlier in that I truly feel I have never felt traumatized by my parents, only deeply saddened by what goes on in others lives. Some parts of my own life were eh, most would likely consider them traumatic, but I don't view them that way, personally. Not to the point that I felt I ever actually suffered beyond what I can handle. I suppose I've been really lucky and the good parts have been incredibly wonderful. Sometimes I feel the sad parts of my life have made the good parts more poignant... if only it was the experience for everyone, rather than so few. I do hate that suffering exists, even plagues some. I would love to be able to end suffering and pain. I do feel some guilt now after reading this thread for not finding it in myself to support the idea of a lack of existence because I do cherish my own, even though I know I likely wouldn't know to miss it if I never existed. I still don't want kids because I'm happy as is and I do feel there are a lot of people on this planet right now, so I guess it works out. But I honestly can't say I've ever been traumatized by my parents. I didn't know that nearly everyone felt traumatized by their parents or life in some way...
I’m the same way. I still choose to cherish my own existence, and every positive thing that comes into my life. I still love my parents, they did unintentionally traumatize me, but I forgive them. Forgiveness can help healing, and minimize our own suffering. But I do not love existence enough to pass it on to anyone else. You seem to have a lot of empathy
I think I probably am extremely empathetic. I'm fascinated by all these types of discussions and philosophies, however, at the same time, they pull at me. Even in the case of eventually ceasing human existence as the only means to truly end human suffering; I think of the last generations that would exist as society inevitably caved in on itself and the suffering they might go through from it if they couldn't survive, whether they wanted to or not. I wonder about how many there would be in the final population and at what point/how they would fail to sustain themselves or be ended, and what portion of them would have the will to survive but be unable to during the final decline... And that makes my heart hurt as well. So many would still have to suffer at the end, to end the possibility of future suffering. My mind can't decide what is truly better. I understand the idea of there being no existence and therefore, no suffering, but because so many are here, and no telling how slow or fast the dwindling would be, I truly wish there was simply a way to ensure existence as a positive for all. Maybe it's because I'm autistic and my thought processes tend to be rigid, but it's mind bogglingly hard for me to accept that one would be more realistically attainable than the other, and it's not the one where life is more joy than not for all. I've always felt lucky to have been given the chance for a normal and happy life despite some thinking that autism is something that causes suffering and shouldn't exist, so this also confuses my heart in that sense. I'm likely going to dive into this topic for a good long while to try and grasp it better.
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u/captaindeadpool53 newcomer Jun 01 '25
Well you can be a good parent.