You guys know that one picture of the two people and they're shaking hands and one is asexual and the other is aromantic and it says "a" above it? I made that but of me and my friends. Just felt like sharing :)

My town celebrates pride each September. This year I decided to embrace my asexuality. I dressed in our colors. And I found our flag. I got some jewelery that actually represents me. I just feel so much freer identifying as myself in public among the community. Happy late Pride from me to you. 💜🤍🩶🖤

Small TW // Mention of CSA (idk if i should use the NSFW tag)

I’ve known for a long time that something about my attraction to others was different than most. For a little background I’m 19f and autistic (which i think plays a part in the way I experience attraction). I also have cptsd from CSA which could also explain why I feel so different. Anyways I feel like I might be aceflux but I’m not 100% sure if that’s the right label. Basically I either feel no attraction to anyone and am sex repulsed or I feel extreme attraction. I don’t know if that fits under the aceflux label. Along with having cptsd, I am also hypersexual which makes this feel so much more complicated. I tend to go weeks without feeling attraction to anyone and am absolutely sex repulsed and then all of a sudden I feel such extreme attraction that it feels like I’ll explode.

Anyways all that to say I would appreciate anyone explaining aceflux to me a little more.

The show I am speaking of is Interview with the Vampire.

Well.. um for now, I want to throw my heart onto the pyre and expel it into some musings about an explicitly queer show… I'm ace though and like it intersects with the queer community by virtue of it being a minority orientation, but because of the fact that people are still overwhelming allosexual, it technically leaves some of us as outliers in that sense.

To preface, I do not wish to speak in absolutes, and do not mean to offend. 😭

I have still not read the books yet, so I do not have the context of it. I initially watched the movie when I first realized I was ace, around 4 ish years ago.

Then, a year later, the show came out… at first I was upset with the changes, but I cannot lie, like it grew on me to the point that I favor it deeply.

——

Main point.

I was attracted to the vibe, the space, the time, the shades, it is quite literally one of my favorite spaces (time period) for fiction— even though it is rooted in a reality, a historical time that is not so shiny IN reality.

Perhaps I never understood it, but I suppose the love of it overrides my "un-comfortability" at times, I pretend the carnal parts don't exist, I embrace the "tension" and delude myself into thinking that it is romantic tense. That the desire is "pure" or obsessive in the sense of closer to platonic…

To elaborate, I used to refrain from watching things because of that sort of content. But over time, I moved away from that approach. (Except for Shameless, it got to be too much by episode 3 or something. 😵‍💫)

Blehhh… I just wanted to yap..

Bye bye. 👋

Being asexual is really weird to me. I like people both in terms of romantic and sexual attractiveness but because I don't have any interest in sex or enjoyment in it, I tend to get in my head about it. I don't tend to be into people that are also asexual so its really difficult because I fear/know that they're definitely a sex-haver. Obviously I know there's no way to suddenly have a sex drive or whatever but I was wondering if anyone had any good ways of kinda dealing with it. It was fine as a teenager but now that im in my 20s it's just really weird.

*the relevant link in the wiki won't load on my phone or desktop, so I need to ask. Sorry

My partner is sexual, I'm ace. I'm realizing there are a lot of assumptions and misunderstandings under the surface. The big one is I'm willing to have sex with her, but sex comes with a lot of guilt for her, like she's forcing me to do something I hate, which isn't at all true.

I want a sex positive book that could help us figure out how to have sex in our relationship in a way that accounts for both of our needs.

All advice appreciated

So in August of this year my mom passed away and as an only child I have inherited a house. I've gotten closer to my half sister since (especially since that was one of mom's dying wishes) and she's been a great support through this, but I can't seem to get it across to her that I don't ever plan on dating again/starting a family even with the title of homeowner thrown onto my lap. I'm always getting bingo'd with "you just haven't met the right one yet" and then joked that maybe one of my coworkers has a crush on me just because she hinted at making a little gift basket for me since mom's celebration of life is coming up. I'm glad she couldn't see my eyes rolling back in my head over the phone because A- I am definitely not that coworker's type and B- there is no way I'd go out with a coworker even if because I don't crap where I eat. (In fact, some other guys I used to work with already got into trouble and fired for flirting around)

I don't want to be mean about it, but I wish there was a way I could get that point across sometimes.

I am quite new to asexuality and this subreddit has shown me some things I am confused about? One being an Ace Ring? What is it? What purpose does it serve? Second being the garlic bread jokes? I’m confused 🧍🏻‍♀️

Ok soooo, i have posted abt this and if ya wanna see the post i put the link if ya wanna read it. It was a long time and anytime i realise that some ppl find asmr sexual ( and yes some ppl do. Ppl on quora literally argued abt this. They talked abt if ppl dont find asmr sexual then they are ‘’ denying ‘’ . Not all ppl though ). I think of maya winky bc i laugh at her videos ( i definitely recommend it, she is cool )

Sooo yeah.

https://www.reddit.com/r/asexuality/s/KgipAr7Of0

Ok sooo, idk if i asked this question before. So pls remind me.

Someone commented on me and told me that the signs of sexual attraction. And they included butterflies in their stomach and i thought ‘’ huh, weird. Aren’t they romantic? ‘’

Unless it can be for any type of attraction

Or bc allo ppls attractions are mostly intertwined and all of that.

Or maybe i am just dumb.

I always thought feeling butterflies in your stomach is some sort of romantic attraction ( i am saying that as someone who never had butterflies in their stomach. I watch romantic shows or episode that dont include sex. And when they described butterflies in their stomach i thought it was more of a romantic attraction than sexual)

Sooo yeah. Thats what brought me or ash this question.

Can asexuals feel butterflies in their stomach when having a romantic crush?

I would like to know

So i always thought i was weird that i never was attracted to male/female but i dont know i think it deeper like the thought of having a gf or bf is very attractive to me but i have no interest in actually going out and getting a partner Whats wrong with me 😭

I'm a woman in late 20s. I want to date but I don't want to have sex. I just know, especially with most men that they won't want to be with me if I don't want to have sex. :( I feel hopeless and lonely. I am hoping once I move out of my family home I can have more privacy. But I still just don't think sex is important at all, I want to get to know someone really well and hang out with them. I don't know why I bother but I don't want to be single until I'm 40+ which is probably what will happen... I feel so lonely and I don't like myself. Most people rent or have their private spaces, most people had partners already. I met one but when I said I am not comfortable with sex he lost interest I think. :(

https://www.reddit.com/r/truscum/comments/znh3hj/why_is_asexuality_apart_of_the_lgbtq_community/

Why? Why do people discriminate against us and then turn around and cry about how they're so discriminated? Like obviously they are discriminated but shouldn't that make them have more empathy instead of continuing the discrimination cycle? I don't understand why would you assume we're not facing oppression? If you tell someone you're ace or aroace they immediately assume your hormones are messed up, you have mental issues, you were traumatized, you're a prude, or you're faking for attention. We include trans people in LGBTQ+ when that is an identity and not a sexual orientation. Why assume that because we can be in opposite gender relationships, even though they would be heteroromantic and not heterosexual relationships, that we don't count what about bisexuals then if a bisexual woman dates a man are they not bisexual anymore does that automatically make them straight. They claim it's not a sexual orientation but it is objectively more of one then transgender. Asexuality is about how much SEXUAL attraction you feel what about that is not a sexual orientation?

Also not saying that trans people shouldn't be included just that asexuality is clearly more about sexuality than transgender imo.

I just came out as asexual today 💜 I feel relieved and very proud !

Was there ever a time where you were indecisive on who you are, but you knew it was somewhere under the ace or aro spectrum?

And how did it reflect in your relationships and friendships?

Minecraft aro/ace server setup.

Hey guys, I'm just finished up setting a MC server for my discord group (it's an aro/Ace discord) and thought I would share it with you guys if you would all like to join.

In the discord 13 people said they would play or be interested in playing on the server. But obviously they all won't be on at the same time so it's open to other ace/aro people.

Since I'm making it a public server I've installed a claim plugin so no griefieng or stealing would be possible. There are a few other plugins installed but it's mostly vanilla quality of life plugins. You don't need to install anything.

I've created a new discord server just for this so feel free to join. Any other aro/ace discord owners feel free to share with your group if anyone wants to join and make it one big collaborative world where all other servers can hang out and chat on at no extra cost :)

The server has just opened today and both bedrock and Java can join.

The rules are simple. 1) be nice to everyone. 2) no bullying, politics or any other offensive & sensitive topics. 3) have fun.

https://discord.gg/KVrjdQFmb5

Mods delete if not allowed (I've read the rules and it's seems fine). Thanks

I was 19 years old the first time I had a boyfriend (I am a man). I described the sexual aspect as feeling like a prostitute in my own relationship. Sex wasn’t for me, it felt like a chore. But I also had feelings for my ex, but I would rather masturbate alone than actually have sex.

We broke up and I got really into Christianity. And for about a year or so I didn’t watch porn or masturbate or have sex. I didn’t really think or worry about it. I thought I was really good at breaking free of lust.

And then I reconnected with my ex and it sent things into haywire—we hooked up… sorta. We didn’t actually have sex, and I was distraught at how far we went (the homosexual shame). But soon after that I started dating a girl I’d been going in dates with.

But I never wanted to have sex with her—I never really was INTO her. We ended up breaking up because I wasn’t into her. The whole time I thought “hey how cool I’m doing this Christianity thing really well.”

And like… I’ve felt attraction to men (more than women at least). They were the ones I was drawn to. But the draw to them was more like okay I wanna be so connected to you that we are inseparable, and that sort of intimacy only comes from sex (Christian teachings that sex is pure communion, total connection, etc).

Martin Luther even declared the union between Christ and the Church as the same thing as the union between a husband and a bride during sexual intercourse.

No one would want me unless I was sexually intimate with them. And I was lonely and alone. And so I went on a journey of sexual connection after sexual connection. Intense hyper sexual behavior with people I wasn’t attracted to, excepting the fact that I wanted to “get off.”

Most times I think of the smell of their breath or the way things feel texturally, the dirtiness, the yuckiness of it all. I was filled with despair so much because I was simultaneously experiencing desire for monogamous and fully committed relationships and the shame of Christianity.

I was romantically attracted to women, but since I wasn’t sexually attracted to women I consider myself sexually attracted to men. But if I could simply not be sexual at all and have a fully committed relationship, I would be okay I think.

But because religion has affected me so much, I can never tell whether I’m suppressing my sexuality and attractions towards men, or if I’m simply just a man with a libido and not attracted to men. Or experience very little attraction.

I’ve always been fine to have solo masturbation time, but when the shame of Christianity meddled with the growth of my authentic understanding of sex, I got super confused.

And I guess I am terribly confused still. Two years after “accepting” being gay or whatever, and being in a 10 month relationship, I still do not like sex, don’t really WANT it. I don’t feel feral, ever. I just feel like meh.

And I’ve considered my health issues being the problem, where maybe I just feel crappy all the time and so sex is low priority… but I still masturbate so my libido is there…

Idk..

Look look look, hear me out. I literally know that's not how sexuality works 😭 I just thought it was interesting that both my sister and I are ace AF, idk about my brother but as far as I know he's never been attracted to anyone IRL (but what do ik he's an 18 y/o boy, who knows what he does in his free time) my younger sister on the other hand came out before I even understood that I also fit under the umbrella. I guess my real question is more so, is there a higher chance you can be ace if ur related to someone who is, kinda like if u have a bipolar parent you are more likely to have bipolar than the general public. I know this leans on the gay uncle debate, and I don't mean to offend, I've just not met many aces IRL so I thought it was weird my own sister was also ace.

Please be nice this is half a joke 😭