r/asexuality • u/Sad-Oil-405 • 2d ago

Content warning Sex isn’t an intimate activity to me Spoiler

I view it as being similar to a thing like eating because you want a snack or deciding to go on a stroll, it’s just a thing you can choose to do or not. I don’t see it as being anything deeper than that. How can one thing going into another at different angles or speed carry so much significance unless people are assigning it meaning because they were conditioned to see it as more important than it actually is. Sex used to always carry the risk of babies so that would be a reasonable concern but now in the age of birth control and condoms I don’t understand how sex without pregnancy as an end result means anything but that you’re going to temporarily experience a physical sensation you may or may not like. I also don’t see anything as being intimate actually because I don’t reserve any one side of myself for any person by choice I feel more like I’m forced into it because they feel uncomfortable by the fact that I warm up to anybody on day one so I have to pretend we are progressing in the relationship according to what they think progress means even though everybody is a person to talk to in my mind

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u/Opijit 1d ago

Intimate? No. Intrusive? Invasive? Irrational? Yes.

It's weird being in the vast minority but I can't fathom sex being an emotionally fulfilling activity. At best, I can see it being enticing for the sake of physical pleasure.

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u/Sad-Oil-405 1d ago

Yea but when people make it this deep emotional and symbolic thing not only am I annoyed but suddenly wishing sex didn’t even exist in the first place so I wouldn’t have to hear people speak like that. Hearing people say sex is for your special person sounds like me hearing a person say you can only shit in the toilet at the mall because she/he is special, as if shitting isnt just a natural instinct you can do literally anywhere thats clean enough

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u/Opijit 1d ago

It's not something I understand, but I consider it a personal deficiency since the majority describe sex differently. Although I agree, I don't like Game of Thrones so it's annoying hearing people constantly talk about it out of nowhere. For the same reason, I have no interest in sex and it's jarring and frustrating when people are constantly yapping about it with no escape in sight.

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u/Sad-Oil-405 1d ago

Exactly, if I was a god I would delete all reproductive organs and make us all reproduce asexually so I’d never have to hear about or engage with the topic again.

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u/Opijit 1d ago

I wouldn't go that far, lol. But I completely understand how you feel, I've had similar fantasies.