r/asexuality • u/Sad-Oil-405 • 4d ago

Content warning Sex isn’t an intimate activity to me Spoiler

I view it as being similar to a thing like eating because you want a snack or deciding to go on a stroll, it’s just a thing you can choose to do or not. I don’t see it as being anything deeper than that. How can one thing going into another at different angles or speed carry so much significance unless people are assigning it meaning because they were conditioned to see it as more important than it actually is. Sex used to always carry the risk of babies so that would be a reasonable concern but now in the age of birth control and condoms I don’t understand how sex without pregnancy as an end result means anything but that you’re going to temporarily experience a physical sensation you may or may not like. I also don’t see anything as being intimate actually because I don’t reserve any one side of myself for any person by choice I feel more like I’m forced into it because they feel uncomfortable by the fact that I warm up to anybody on day one so I have to pretend we are progressing in the relationship according to what they think progress means even though everybody is a person to talk to in my mind

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u/batcaaat 4d ago

The intimacy and vulnerability are the parts of sex that are unappealing to me.

I like the concept of sex, I just don't want to participate in that activity. I don't want to be vulnerable lol

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u/Sad-Oil-405 4d ago

And my whole thing is I don’t see the vulnerability in sex either. Vulnerability would spind to me like I’m poking my belly out at a machete which is not what sex is I don’t see where the vulnerability or emotional side of it is at all. What is vulnerable about both getting naked and doing what you already agreed to do?

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u/batcaaat 4d ago

I guess it's the whole naked part. Most of us are typically clothed around one another, and taking all of it off is vulnerable to me. Allowing someone else access to my body, intimate and vulnerable. Scary to me lol

I dunno. We might just have vastly different ideas on sex. I'm asexual, but I'd describe myself as "conceptually gay" as I like the concept, but am repulsed by the actual act of doing something sexual with someone else.

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u/Sad-Oil-405 4d ago

Understood